Reasonable Insanity

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs

  “Baby, it’s not what you think,” Malcolm tried to explain.

  “What do you think I think Malcolm? Huh?” Olivia asked him, eerily calm. “Do you think I think you’ve been cheating on me with some whores since you’ve been on the Large Luscious Latina Ladies Love Black Men dating website? Or do you think I must be thinking about how you lied about being single and not having any children? Or thinking about how you lied about your age and your job? Or thinking about how you’re meeting with this chick, Carmen, at hotels when you’re supposedly working out in the morning? Or thinking about the trick, Mariah, you met with today? Or perhaps I’m thinking about the receipts I found in your pants for a hotel and happy hour? Or am I thinking about how you missed our daughter’s basketball game since you were out screwing your ho? Or am I thinking about all of the naked pictures of women and videos of you having sex with them on your phone?” By now, Olivia had worked her way to yelling in his face with spittle flying from her mouth.

  Malcolm’s face fell, realizing Olivia knew everything he’d done. “Look, Baby, I can explain.”

  “Really? You think you can explain? You think you can justify bringing your nasty body into our bed and putting me at risk for an STD?” Olivia raged.

  “It’s only a game. You don’t think I would mess around with Hispanic women, do you?” Malcolm asked, trying to recover. “You know how I feel about anyone being with someone outside of our race. One of my boys wanted me to check out his profile on that website. He’s interested in some girl. That’s all, baby.”

  “Shut up. Shut up and get out of my face. How dare you lie to me,” Olivia yelled and pounded her fist on the table. “I saw the video of your friggin’ threesome!”

  “Baby, I’m sorry,” Malcolm pleaded. “The truth is we haven’t been having sex the way I need to. I mean, we sleep in separate beds most nights. A man has his needs, you know? Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Didn’t mean to hurt me? Or you didn’t mean for me to find out?” Olivia’s throat became raw with pain, which didn’t stop her from yelling. “After all these years, I can’t believe you would do this to me. You even had enough nerve to expect for me to be perfect like a model. Yet, these women are all jacked up. You bastard.”

  Olivia grabbed a bourbon glass from the counter and threw it at him. He dodged out of the way and it smashed on the wall behind him. The force of her throw left shards of glass embedded in the plaster. Shattered crystal spread across the floor in dangerous pieces. “I hate you. Do you hear me? I hate you,” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

  “Liv. Please, listen baby. I promise you, I didn’t have unprotected sex. I wouldn’t do that to you. You have to believe me, baby,” Malcolm begged.

  “Don’t you ever call me baby again. You are dead to me.”

  Olivia had enough of looking at him. She grabbed her car keys from the counter and ran to the door, which led to the garage.

  “Olivia. Where are you going? You shouldn’t go out like this.” Malcolm approached her.

  “Get. Away. From. Me.” Olivia said in a low voice, narrowing her eyes, which would kill him if they could. She stuck her index finger out in his direction in a threatening manner to curse him.

  Malcolm backed away with his hands in surrender. Olivia opened the door to run to her car. She either had to get far away from him or kill him.

  CHAPTER 46

  In a daze, Olivia climbed into her Mercedes. Tears began springing from her eyes until she couldn’t cry anymore. Exhausted and defeated, she didn’t know what to do.

  Voices chattered in her head. Start the car. All I have to do is sit here in the garage with the door closed until I die from carbon monoxide poisoning. This can be my sweet escape from this cruel world. Perhaps my brother and grandfather were better off than everyone else once they ended their lives.

  She held her head in her hands, rocking back and forth, trying to shake the voices out. “No. No. I don’t deserve this. After all I’ve done for him and the kids. I’ve emptied myself and this is what he does to me. No one loves or cares about me. I can’t keep living my life like this,” Olivia yelled and pounded her fists on the steering wheel.

  Clinching her eyes tightly, she tried to quiet her mind. It would be so easy to just end my life. I can make Malcolm suffer forever once I’m dead.

  Opening her eyes, she leaned her head back and gazed toward heaven in desperation. “Please God, forgive me for whatever I do.”

  Although she prayed for forgiveness, Olivia’s heart hardened at the opportunity for a way out of her situation. She slowly stared to her left and focused on the wall of the garage. A jumbo, red gasoline container with a yellow spout, sat on the floor next to the lawn mower. She tilted her head to the side staring blankly at the can.

  Olivia slowly opened her car door and got out to move toward the gasoline container in a hypnotized state. When she picked it up, the fluid sloshed back and forth inside. She could tell from the weight, it was almost full.

  Put the container down. Don’t do this. Ignoring her thoughts, she carried the canister to the door leading into the house and opened it. Malcolm was no longer in the kitchen.

  The room seemed to get bigger. It appeared hazy like a dream world where things did not seem to be real. Olivia slowly walked across the floor to the kitchen junk drawer. She placed the gasoline canister near her feet.

  Olivia opened the drawer and dug through it frantically, tossing items out, until she found her candle lighter. She flicked it on and off, staring at the flame in awe, to the point that she almost forgot where she was. A familiar sensation prickled her skin. It reminded her of the feeling she had when she burned Ross’s jersey.

  Olivia lifted the canister and walked slowly to the stairwell. She floated in a trance toward the master bedroom. She heard the shower running behind the closed bathroom door. The thought of him washing away his whore’s scent, caused red spots to flash before her eyes.

  The sound of Malcolm whistling, drifted to her ears, driving her anger to a higher level. Obviously, I mean nothing to him since he seems to be at peace enough to sing in the shower.

  Olivia jumped into action. She opened the spout on the container and splashed gasoline all around the bedroom and in front of the bathroom door. Splotches of the liquid landed on their Vera Wang comforter and pillows and soaked into the rugs on the floor. The intoxicating smell made her giddy and nauseous at the same time.

  Olivia stopped long enough to examine the lighter in her hand. She became aware of the feel of it at that moment. Clicking it on and off several times mesmerized her with the flickering flame.

  Maybe I should lie in our bed and light the gasoline. I can end it all for both of us. Perhaps I can do like my grandfather did when he set his house on fire. My parents wouldn’t even miss me since I don’t matter to them. I know Simone and Christian love me, but I’m good for no one now. If I leave Malcolm, they will hate me for breaking up our family. This is the only way I can have peace.

  The sound of Malcolm’s whistling pierced her ears and annoyed her with the thought of him not having a care in the world. Oh, he thinks he can be happy now? Nah, he is going to die. I’m going to live. I’ll raise the kids by myself since he’s denied all of us with his cheating.

  She took a deep breath and lit the trail of gasoline in front of the bathroom. Olivia left the bedroom, closed the door, and walked calmly down the stairs.

  Olivia retraced her steps to the garage. She sloshed gasoline around the four cars. After placing the canister on the floor, she lit the trail of liquid with the lighter. She closed the door, before coolly walking back into the house.

  Olivia made her way to the foyer and stared up the stairs. Smoke slithered out from beneath the master-bedroom door.

  As if she were having an out of body experience, Olivia observed herself step out into the still night in her slippers. She closed the door behind her, and nonchalantly strolled down the driveway to the street. Once there, she mad
e her way to a point where she could still see her home. In anticipation of what would happen, she sat on the curbside with her hands folded on her lap.

  The dinging and vibration of her cell phone startled Olivia out of her trance. She grunted and dug it out of the front pocket of her jeans to read the text message. The swelling of her eyes from crying earlier made it difficult to make out the words clearly. She squinted and her eyes darted back and forth across her phone screen reading the words repeatedly,

  Hey Liv. I thought the kids would be right back to my house after grabbing their sleepover stuff. Let me know if they’re coming for pizza. We’re waiting on them. Rhonice.

  Blood drained from her head, causing her to swoon. Her heart raced and pounded hard against her chest.

  The crackle and pop of Spanish roof tiles snapping drew her eyes to her house. Thick plumes of black smoke pouring like water from the master bedroom window, blocked the moon. Flames flickered with fury, devouring the stucco walls.

  The ground tremored from the rumble of the fire. She heard a roar from the expanding blaze. The red, orange and yellow monster swallowed the Kiowa and Tuscarora crape myrtle trees lining their perfectly manicured yard like fuel.

  Olivia’s dry lips released a gurgled moan of regret from her throat, which turned into a hoarse, blood-curdling scream penetrating the air. “No, no, no! Somebody, please help me. Oh, my Lord. My kids are in the house. Please, somebody, help me please!”

  Her lungs struggled to breathe due to the heaving of her sobs, which burdened her chest. With tears pouring from her eyes, she pushed herself from the curb where she sat.

  She tripped into a run toward what had now developed into a ferocious, merciless blaze engulfing all she loved. The intense heat on her face threatened to cook her from the inside and made her turn away, coughing from the acrid smell of burning wood.

  Olivia stumbled on a rock, stubbed her toe, and lost her footing. She fell hard on her hands and knees to the asphalt and ripped her jeans from scraping the ground. The fall embedded pebbles in her palms, causing her to howl in pain. She grabbed her leg and blood dripped onto her fingers.

  Ashes stung her eyes and nose. Olivia tried to crawl toward the house, which shot out glimmering embers. The heat from the fire forced her to rise from the ground. She staggered back to the middle of the street, away from the house.

  The smell of penetrating smoke and Olivia’s screams drew her neighbors from their homes.

  Her neighbor, Maurice, suddenly appeared in front of her with his eyes bugged wide open, seeming bewildered and terrified. “I called 9-1-1.”

  Olivia stared at him without registering what he said after that. His mouth opened and closed. However, in her horror, she couldn’t understand his jumbled and muffled words. Finally, they poured clearly into her ears.

  “Olivia, are you okay? Where’s your family? I called the fire department and they should be here any minute now. Olivia? Olivia?” Maurice grabbed her shoulders, shaking her hard. She kept staring at him blankly with her eyes spilling tears.

  Olivia’s attention shifted away from Maurice toward the house. She was shocked to see her husband, Malcolm, stumble out of the front door. Flames were on the back of his robe and he cried out in agony.

  She breathed in sharply when she noticed Christian and Simone tucked beneath each of his arms. Covered in soot, they gasped for air and coughed violently.

  Maurice ran to help them and other neighbors, Robert, Faye, Antoinette, Leon, and the Hudsons, joined him. They shouted to push Malcolm onto the ground to put out the fire on his robe. He rolled around, screaming and writhing in pain. Leon quickly removed his own shirt to beat the flames.

  Malcolm’s blackened robe hung in tatters from the fire once smothered. Their neighbors helped him stand and move along with the kids further away from the house.

  Suddenly, Christian broke away from the group and ran across the cobblestone driveway toward the house wailing, “Mama. Where’s Mama? Mama!”

  Robert chased and grabbed him by the waist when he reached the front door. He quickly carried him downhill to the other end of the street. Christian continued screaming and crying for her, with his arms stretched toward the home.

  Olivia refrained from running to him. She put her hand to her mouth, sobbing at the sight of her son trying to save her.

  A fireball erupted from the garage into the dark sky and illuminated the atmosphere. Olivia’s hands burned from the unforgiving heat when she shielded her eyes from the bright light.

  The force from the explosion pushed her further away in the opposite direction from her family. Debris and ashes began falling all around the neighborhood causing her neighbors to scream and scurry to find cover.

  Sirens pierced the air when firefighters arrived. They jumped off their trucks to control the blaze by drowning it with water from their hoses. Black smoke turned white after they extinguished the leaping flames.

  Paramedics ran to Malcolm and the kids to help them with their injuries. They were all loaded into ambulances on gurneys and whisked away with sirens blasting throughout the neighborhood.

  Olivia shook her head slowly with tears streaking her soot-covered cheeks. How can this be happening? How can this be my perfect life? How did I get here?

  She gazed sadly at everything going on around her, and quietly slipped away into the darkness.

  CHAPTER 47

  “Olivia. Olivia,” Savvy screamed into the phone. Sunlight peeping through the blinds washed over her. She sat on the side of her bed, frozen in fear. The dead phone tumbled from her trembling hand and landed with a thud on the floor rug.

  Olivia’s distressed call about Malcolm the previous night came to mind. “I know she was angry but there’s no way she could set her house on fire,” she whispered in disbelief. “My friend does some crazy stuff, but she would never hurt her family.”

  Savvy frantically searched for the remote control on the nightstand. She found it under a book and pointed toward the TV to turn on the morning news. The anchor finished reporting about a stolen ATM on the west side of San Antonio before a breaking story banner popped up.

  “Breaking news. A home located in a Bexar County Historic District has been completely destroyed by fire. The house belonged to a psychologist, Dr. Olivia C. Maxell, and her husband, Malcolm Turnipseed.” A video of the home burning flashed on the screen. Savvy screamed and fell limply to the bed. Her stomach cramped in knots and throbbing pain shot through her head.

  The reporter continued, “Arson investigators are working to determine if the fire was purposefully set. Firefighters responded to the blaze around 9:30 pm and the two-story home was engulfed in flames. Turnipseed and their children were transported to the hospital by ambulance.

  “This can’t be for real,” Savvy said in disbelief.

  “Dr. Olivia C. Maxwell is missing and a neighbor reported seeing her run into a wooded area,” blared the reporter.

  “I know Olivia didn’t do this,” Savvy mumbled.

  A picture of Olivia flashed on the news. She increased the volume to make sure she could hear correctly.

  “Mr. Turnipseed’s wife, Dr. Olivia C. Maxwell, is being blamed for starting this fire. The police are searching for her. Mr. Turnipseed is asking for his wife to turn herself in.”

  Savvy’s mouth fell open. “This can’t be happening. I must be having a nightmare right now.”

  Her eyes remained glued to the TV. They showed a video of Olivia’s clinics across the city. The reporter talked about her being a leader in the community and an influential psychologist in San Antonio. They interviewed the Chief of Police, who asked for anyone with information about Dr. Maxwell’s whereabouts, to contact the police department immediately.

  Savvy grabbed her phone from the floor and called Olivia. The message from her voicemail played. She hastily threw on clothes and grabbed her purse and keys to go to the hospital.

  CHAPTER 48

  The anchor on the 5 pm news didn’t bother to hide h
is disdain as he delivered the breaking news.

  “Dr. Olivia C. Maxwell has been taken into custody by investigators with the Arson Unit of the San Antonio Police Department. It was just after 2 p.m. when Dr. Maxwell turned herself in. She has been charged with first-degree arson for setting her own home on fire in one of San Antonio’s historic districts last night. Fortunately, her entire family escaped with minor injuries.”

  “Neighbors who called 911 said the fire started after 9:00 pm,” the anchor stated.

  “There were gigantic flames and black smoke coming out of the windows,” an anonymous neighbor recalled. “Thankfully, we carried her husband and kids away from the house right before there was a big explosion.”

  Another neighbor came on the screen. “It was scary to watch their house in flames right next door to all of our homes. We were praying for everyone in the house to be okay and hoping the whole neighborhood wouldn’t be destroyed.” She paused shakily and continued, “You don’t think someone you know could do something like this. She’s someone I chat with regularly when the kids are playing together. I can’t believe she would put everyone’s life at risk. It could’ve been much worse. This kind of thing doesn’t happen in our neighborhood.”

  The anchor continued to talk. Olivia’s mug shot flashed on the TV repeatedly along with a video of their burned home. She appeared bewildered with tree leaves stuck in her hair and scratches on her face. Pictures of her and Malcolm in their wedding photo in Jet magazine showed throughout the report.

  A reporter managed to get into the hospital where Malcolm remained in recovery. When informed that Olivia turned herself in, he replied weakly, “I’m glad to hear that. I ask for privacy for my family. We need to deal with this tragedy. I have no further comments.”

  PART 6

  WAIT, WHAT?

  EPILOGUE

  One Month Later