by Lucy Monroe
She took her mom’s hand. “What’s the matter, Mom?”
“Please don’t hate me, Amber. I deserve it, I know I do, but I can handle anything except that.”
Shock kept her mouth from uttering her initial denial. What was her mom saying? What was she admitting to?
“No one is going to hate you, Mrs. Taylor. We’re going to work through this,” George Wentworth said in a firm but kind tone.
“I could never hate you,” Amber vowed.
“Before you came into the room, Mr. Wentworth asked a question. He wanted…” Her mom stopped, collected herself and went on. “He wanted to know why I’d stolen his daughter.”
Amber’s body jolted as if it had taken a mortal blow. “What?”
Then her mom started talking, telling a story that made a terrible kind of sense. She’d lost her baby due to the same accident that had killed her beloved husband. She’d gone into some kind of postpartum depression or temporary psychosis. She’d been there at the hospital the night the woman who gave birth to Amber and her sister had died.
Something had snapped inside her and Helen Taylor had kidnapped one of the babies, believing she was her own Amber, instead of the child of the deceased woman. Mr. Wentworth nodded, as if he understood how this terrible thing could have happened. Amber thought he had to be one of the most amazing men she’d ever met. He wasn’t screaming or threatening, or anything. Wow.
“Don’t ask me how I managed to get you out of the hospital because I don’t remember. When I got you home, all the baby stuff was still there, I thought you were my little Amber.” Her mom’s voice cracked. “I loved you so much and you were all I had left.”
Amber put her arm around her mom’s shoulder, giving back some of the comfort her mom had extended to her over the years. “It’s okay, Mom.”
Her mom shook her head and kept talking. She’d lived and believed the fantasy for five years.
“But something made you remember,” Amber said gently.
“I saw an article on George Wentworth in a business weekly.” Her mom looked around at the rest of the people in the room. “I’m a financial analyst.”
“We know,” George said quietly.
“Of course.” She took another deep breath and clenched her trembling hands together. “The article mentioned the disappearance of your daughter and suddenlyI knew . I couldn’t remember taking her, but I remembered my baby dying and knew that the little girl who I loved more than my own life belonged to someone else.”
“I don’t understand…you would have taken me back. Mom, I know you…” No way would her mom have kept a child from her father once she realized the truth.
“Yes. I tried.” Her mom looked at her with an expression in her hazel eyes that broke Amber’s heart. “I had to investigate him. I couldn’t just hand you over to some stranger, even if he was your biological father.”
The words that followed did not match the man being so kind and compassionate right now. Her mom painted a picture of George Wentworth as an unforgiving, merciless business shark and terrible father—cold, emotionally distant and uninterested in his remaining daughter.
Helen looked at Mr. Wentworth…Amber’s dad…as if she couldn’t quite believe he was the man she was describing and then back to Amber. “You were such a loving little girl and affectionate. You would have shriveled up and died under that kind of care. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give you back. And he never changed. I kept tabs and watched his daughter Eleanor be sent to boarding school when she was barely eight years old.”
Helen’s eyes filled with tears as she met Eleanor’s gaze. “It hurt so much to see you treated like that. I loved your sister with all my heart and you by proxy. I couldn’t change your life, but I couldn’t let your father do the same thing to Amber.”
“I understand,” Amber’s twin said as if she really meant it. “I’m glad my sister escaped having a childhood like mine. I’m glad you were there to love her.”
Amber couldn’t accept that and didn’t see how Eleanor could. “But she needed me. If you’d given me back, we would have had each other.”
“I thought of that and I just couldn’t sacrifice your happiness for hers.” Her mom buried her face in her hands and started to sob. “I’m sorry.”
The man she now knew was her dad moved to sit on the other side of the woman who she had always believed was her mom. He pulled her into his arms and just held her. Amber couldn’t help loving him right then. No matter what kind of father he’d been to Eleanor, he was being exactly what both she and her mom needed right now.
“If my biological father was such a horrible man why isn’t he threatening prison and yelling at her?” Amber asked Eleanor, trying to reconcile the past with the present.
“He almost died a couple of weeks ago and it changed him. I think he really loves me finally and I know he’s going to love you.”
The words shredded something in Amber’s heart. Her sister was still unsure of her dad’s love. That had to hurt so much. “But, Mom?” she couldn’t help asking.
“Nothing is going to happen to your mom. Dad doesn’t want to hurt her and neither do I. I only want to know you. I’d like to know her, too, if she’ll let me. She was a good mom to you. She took care of you and after hearing her story, I’m convinced she didn’t do anything with malice.”
“Are you for real?” Amber asked, impressed to death by the loving compassion in this woman everyone claimed was her sister. “Nobody reacts like that to something like this.”
Sandor laughed, hugging his fiancée. “Ellie is a special woman.”
Ellie? She liked that better than Eleanor…it was warmer. And she was happy someone seemed to have that special of a relationship with her sister. Amber had taken her mom’s love as a given her whole life. She couldn’t imagine growing up the way Ellie had.
“I’m glad.” Her control cracked for a second and her chin wobbled, but she got it under control. “I don’t want my mom hurt,” she reiterated.
“She won’t be,” her dad said with conviction she thought she could trust. “She did better by my daughter than I did. I stopped looking for you after only a year. I have no excuse for that. I was a rotten father to your sister, but she loved me in spite of it.”
“There are worse fathers than you were, much worse,” Ellie said and Amber wanted to hug her.
She couldn’t, though…they hadn’t been raised as sisters. They had nothing but genes and a past they had to come to terms with between them. She was really glad Sandor was there to hold her sister the way she couldn’t.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” George said, “but when I remember the times your eyes so like your mother’s begged me to show a spark of affection and then I didn’t…I’ll never forgive myself.”
“You hugged me sometimes.”
Oh, man, those words just broke Amber’s heart all over again. The thing that hurt the most right in that moment was that she had spent a lifetime apart from this woman. Her sister. Not her mom’s lies…they were understandable. Not being apart from her dad…she wasn’t missing anything there, according to everyone else. But not being there for Ellie, that hurt.
Her dad looked like the words broke his heart, too. “I bet you remember every single time because those times were so rare.”
“You really were a bastard,” Amber breathed.
He flinched. “Yes. I was and I thank God Ellie never gave up on me. I’ve seen the error of my ways. I want to make up for them. I think we can build a family now. All of us, if you’re willing.”
“I won’t leave my mom out.”
“Like Ellie, I would appreciate the chance to get to know her, too.”
At that her mom pulled out of his arms, wiping her face. She looked ravaged, but at peace and just a little bemused. “I’ve been so terrified for years. I can’t believe things are happening this way.”
“They wouldn’t have…a few weeks ago.”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t find me
then,” Amber quipped, but meaning it. Totally and completely.
The visit continued on a more positive note from there. Ellie didn’t say much, but Amber didn’t blame her. It was all so weird and really kind of scary. Her whole world was being turned topsy-turvy and it was taking all she had to keep it together and not show the pain splintering her insides to the people around her. Her mom didn’t need it for sure, but she didn’t want to share it with any of them really.
For lots of reasons. Her mind brought up an image of Miguel and she wished he was there. She envied Ellie Sandor’s blatant support. He cared a lot for her sister and that was neat to see, something that helped Amber keep it together while she got to know her dad.
At some point, Sandor ordered dinner delivered. They all ate, still talking. It was late when he stood and said, “Ellie needs rest. It has been a very traumatic few weeks for her. Perhaps this visit can continue tomorrow?”
Amber looked at Ellie and bit her lip. “You haven’t been talking much.”
“I’m soaking it all in. I’m um…not used to being part of a family,” she said.
Wow. Just…wow. Amber was the one who had been kidnapped, but Ellie was the one who had missed out on having a family. She promised to return the next day to visit some more and Amber was glad.
Their dad cleared his throat. “I would like to stay here a while longer…to talk out what I learned from my legal counsel with Helen in regard to the kidnapping and the statute of limitations and such.”
“Is everything going to be okay?” Ellie asked. “She won’t go to jail?”
“She will not. I have already put efforts into motion to assure that Helen suffers no more from the tragedy of her past.”
Relief coursed through Amber. She wasn’t sure what was going through her head about all of this, but one thing she knew…she did not want her mom hurt any more than she already was. “You did that before you even met us?” Amber asked.
“Yes.”
“Thank you.” She jumped up and hugged him and it was the strangest thing, but it was okay.
And he hugged her back and it felt good, if odd and a little scary. The idea of having more family…of her mom not really being her family. Only she was. Blood wasn’t the only thing that made family ties. Her mom loved her and she had to cling to that knowledge when things got shaky. Right?
Her mom suggested she go to bed to be well rested for her trunk show the next day and Amber agreed. It was best to let her mom and her newfound father work out some things between them. And she needed some time to herself. Some time to think. To take it all in.
As promised, Ellie came back to visit the next day. But this time, she talked almost nonstop and Amber just loved her to death. She was a really special person, working in public employment counseling and trying to help people even though she didn’t have to work at all.
And something that was really strange, but Ellie saw herself as average in looks. Amber had made a career on her beauty, which was identical to her sister’s, so she had laughed out loud at her sister’s comment to that effect.
Ellie had been bemused, Sandor amused and their dad had simply said, “I told you so.”
It was funny, and kind of wonderful. She hoped Miguel would be able to make it to California before her family flew back to the East Coast. She wanted to share this whole thing with him so much, needed him to feel more grounded. Which was maybe even weirder than the rest of it, that she would be so reliant for her emotional equilibrium on someone she hadn’t even known a month ago.
He called on her cell that night, but she missed the call because she’d left her phone in her bag in her room while she visited with her new family.
By the time she realized he’d called, it was too late to call him back. It was one thing for him to initiate a phone call in the middle of the night his time and another thing for her to do so. Her mom had raised her to be courteous and she wouldn’t wake him even if she wanted to talk to him so badly, it was an ache inside her.
She found it very difficult to get to sleep and called him first thing when she woke up. She hadn’t even gotten out of bed, when she grabbed the bedside phone and dialed his number.
He answered on the second ring. “Sí, Miguel.”
“Hi, Miguel.” She smiled just saying his name. “It’s Amber.”
“Querida.”
Her smile grew, the jumpy feelings inside her settling down at the sound of his voice. “I was really disappointed when I realized I’d missed your call last night.”
“You were working?”
“Actually, I wasn’t. I was talking with some people. I have so much to tell you.”
“I too have news.”
“You go first.” She was fairly certain his wouldn’t take as long and hers was confusing, even to herself.
She knew she wanted to tell him all about discovering she had a father and sister, but wasn’t sure what words to use without making her mom sound bad. Which she wasn’t. She was just a woman who loved really deeply.
“I will not be able to make the trip to California this week.”
Her heart fell. She really needed to see him. “Oh.”
“I am sorry, but perhaps it is for the best.”
“For the best?”
“The more time we spend together, the more attached we become.”
“That’s a bad thing?” She rubbed her temples. She was awake, right? Only this felt like a really disturbing dream.
“Considering the fact that I must go to Prague in five days and will be there an indefinite period of time, yes.”
“But…”
“I know our association hasn’t lasted as long as either of us would like.”
Association? He was calling the incredible relationship developing between them anassociation? She needed him like the other half of her soul and he was talking like he didn’t need her at all. Like the week in Spain had meant nothing.
“I don’t…” Like both her sister and her mom—when faced with emotions too heavy to bear, she ran out of words.
He had plenty for both of them. “The truth,querida? I suspect it would take months to get my fill of you, but we did not have months and I am truly sorry about that.”
He was sorry? Pain was coalescing inside her andhe was sorry? She wanted to scream, but she forced out a question. “You don’t want to try to maintain our relationship long distance?”
“It would not be fair to either of us.”
He had not just said that. Finding out her mom was not her biological mother, that she had a sister and father she hadn’t known her whole life…those things were not fair. Getting her heart ripped out by the man she loved…that was not fair, but trying to make a long distance relationship work? What was so unfair about that? “Why not?”
He made a strange noise, but when he spoke his voice was even. “Your career is taking off. You will be very busy. Trying to work a long distance association would put an unnecessary strain on you.”
“I’m willing.” It hurt to say the words, pricked at her pride, but there were more important things than pride.
“It’s too much,querida, surely you see that?”
No, she didn’t, but then she didn’t think it was all about her. Maybe not about her at all. “You said it wouldn’t be fair to both of us.”
“I am not keen on a cerebral relationship and that is all it could be for months, maybe longer.”
“You mean you don’t want to do without sex.”
“Yes, but I do not think I am the only one this will be an issue for now. Now that your desires have awakened, they will not go back to sleep.”
“You bastard.”
He sucked in an audible breath. “Amber, we both went into our time together with open eyes.”
“Apparently yours saw things mine didn’t.”
“You said yourself you were not ready for anything permanent.”
Had she said that? Probably at one point. “Things change.”
“I a
m sorry.”
There was that sorry word again. She hated it. Her mom was sorry, too. She’d lied to Amber her whole life and she understood why, but it hurt to know the woman she trusted so implicitly could do that. Her dad was sorry he’d been such a rotten father to Ellie that Amber’s mom had not felt safe making her known to him…tothem .
None of the sorries changed anything. Didn’t undo the pain of the past.
And then there was Miguel and his pathetic little sorry. She’d fallen in love with him and he thought he’d work her out of his system in months.
Sorry didn’t make that okay.
She felt so stupid. All the things she thought meant she was special to him had been no more than the window dressing he’d given their affair. He’d even warned her, in the very beginning…his relationships were not based on emotion, but an exchange of commodities.
Not a cold exchange in their case when the commodity had been mutual passion, but still…not emotion…not love.
“Perhaps if we are both free of other entanglements when I return, we can connect again.”
The words sliced through her already shattered emotions, cutting her heart loose from the fragile threads holding it to its moorings. He had no intention of avoiding other “entanglements”—that was obvious.
“So you can work me out of your system once and for all?” she asked in a voice like ground glass.
“As you said, things change. Given the right timing, who knows what could happen between us?”
“But now is not the right time.”
“You know it is not.”
She pulled the phone from her ear and stared at it. She knew the pain inside was from the words coming out of the phone, not the instrument, but she had this insane urge to pummel it with a hammer. Sounds were coming from the earpiece, but she couldn’t make them out, didn’t want to.
His words hurt her.
She pressed the end button and the sounds stopped.
But the pain didn’t. Three days ago she had been happier than she’d ever been in her life, missing Miguel already, but happy. Now, everything was gone. Her hope for a future with him. Her belief in her life as she knew it.