Max released a low, even breath but did nothing. Why did he seem uncomfortable? I looked over my shoulder and up at him, furrowing my brows in confusion. Why did he look so...surprised?
“Darling, I know I’ve got back rolls, now please zip me up,” I sighed, pulling my hair back and holding it up with my hand so it didn’t get caught in the zip.
I felt his hands on the small of my back, one sliding over to my waist while the other slipped slightly to my back where the Spanx ended. The touch was warm and light, and the fact that I could still feel it under three layers of underwear was surprising.
Max pulled up the zip slowly, using the hand on my waist to keep me steady. For the first time in my life, the zipper ran smoothly up my back. I guess the underwear did help. His fingers hesitated just at the top of the zip, like he didn't want it to end.
"Martha," he said with a low voice. "Why did you kiss me that day in Tagaytay?"
I inhaled a sharp breath. I hadn't forgotten what I'd done that day, but Max had been so caught with entertaining everyone that we never had the chance to talk about it.
"I was happy to see you," I said lamely, lowering my hands as Max finished the zip and rest his other hand on my waist. "I'm always happy to see you."
It was the truth, and the truth, when matched with his hands on my waist and his breath tickling my neck made everything warm and electric. Max seemed to hesitate before he came closer, heat prickling at the points where our skin met until I felt his lips place a light kiss on the side of my neck. I should have jumped, I should have pushed him away and said that this was weird.
But I didn't want to.
This, out of all the things I've felt in the last month, actually felt right.
"Max," I said in a whisper, as his hands snaked up the side of my dress before pulling me close to him. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
He laughed and buried his face against the crook of my neck and shoulder (how he managed to find that, I don't know). The laugh rumbled against my skin and made me feel all warm and tingly. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, his fingers just managing to meet in front of my stomach and I took a step backwards, squeezing my hands over his arms to keep them there.
"Martha," he said, kissing the point on my neck where he'd left his laugh. "I've wanted this for so long. I don't... I tried to find someone else..."
"George," I said, the reminder of her settling in my stomach like a rock.
"I really tried, Martha. But she wasn't you," he said, and the words settled on my skin, making me shiver. "She didn't make me happy the way you do. I ended things with her the day before you called to take me to Dangwa. For once in my life, the timing was right, and you were there. I was ready to keep this, just for me, to let you go because I didn't know if you would," he said.
I turned around, making his fingers separate from their precarious hold on me.
"But now you're here Martha and I'm...I'm over the moon."
He chuckled as I smiled, and he placed a quick kiss over my lips. His eyes were hazy and dreamy, as if he still couldn't believe it. Neither could I, really.
"I cannot fix the hour, or the spot, or the look. It was too long ago and I was in the middle before I knew it had begun," he said, brushing a hand over my cheek. I knew the quote by heart, and it was like he had opened my eyes to what I'd been unable to see for the last few days. I kept asking myself what had changed between us.
And then I knew. It was me, because I finally looked and saw Max.
I rested my hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat drumming from within. Both our eyes were wide and hesitant, but the excitement hummed between us.
"But..." I said, not really sure why I wanted to ask him this. "...why? Look at me Max, I'm not...I mean, I know I'm okay, but I'm not exactly the girl of your dreams."
When I said that, Max simply smiled.
"I told you Martha," he said. "The only thing she has to be is my best friend. That's you, and nobody else, gorgeous."
I don't know why him calling me that made my knees buckle.
"Plus I heard you were coming into quite a lot of money," he joked, and where I usually would have told him to piss off, I lowered my head to hide my laugh. I don't know why I did that either. But I did know why I tiptoed up slightly to kiss him. In the back of my mind, I was sure I was going to lose my balance, but his hands gripped my waist to steady me. It felt so wonderful to know he would be able to steady me, to anchor me as we kissed. He tasted like mint and toothpaste and possibilities, and the closer he came the warmer my body felt.
The world, in that moment, was a perfect place. I couldn't have enough of him. His hand rose up my back to the point where the dress was zipped up around me, and I was hit by a quick bolt of panic. The room was too bright, and if Max took off my dress now, he would see everything. Every bit of cellulite, every stretch mark and varicose vein, every jiggle would be exposed, and it terrified me that my own body had the potential to chase him away. Suddenly nothing else mattered than keeping all of that hidden away. I pulled away from him, and his eyebrow quirked at me curiously.
"Uhm..." I said, knowing how ridiculous I would sound. "If we're going to do this...maybe we should turn off the lights. Draw the drapes. Everything. And we should be maybe lying down. Can I take off your shirt? I feel very naked right now," I stammered suddenly, pulling back.
To his credit, Max didn't look at me like I was crazy at all. He simply took my hand and led me to the bedroom, where all the blinds were still closed, books scattered in every corner imaginable. It was so dark that I knocked into a couple of piles as we made our way to the bed. He stood over me and bent to kiss me again, and I pulled his arm down. I was so ready to pull his shirt over his head.
"No, no, wait," he said, and now it was his turn to pull away, walking to the ensuite bathroom to turn the light on and leave the door ajar, creating soft mood lighting. He smiled at me again, and I could feel my insides melting. "I need to see you."
He bent down so our lips could meet. His hand traced the nape of my neck to my spine, clutching the zipper where it kept the dress up. Then he pulled it down, chasing the exposed skin with his other hand as he unzipped the dress. With a small tug at the hem, we let The Dress (as I would forever call it) drift to the floor.
"How much underwear are you wearing right now?" he laughed.
"Well, something has to hold all of this in," I said, indicating my body. “Hey, don’t laugh, you know it took me forever to get this on!”
“And now you’re going to see how fast I can get it off," he said to me, flashing a mischievous little grin. In the dim bathroom light, he almost looked like a sly fox, so close to what he wanted that he couldn't help but rub his hands together. I wasn't about to take that away from him.
We kissed again, and any vestige of worry and insecurity I had evaporated quickly. In Max's arms, I was sexy and gorgeous, and the kisses he placed on my neck seemed to sing my body praises. Then his hands started to wander, and my entire body stiffened. This was it. Once I was naked in front of him, there was no turning back, was there?
The minimizer flew off before I knew, revealing the full size of my breasts squeezed into to a lacy pink bra. Even Max seemed surprised at the size of them, especially when he cupped one in each hand. I stifled a little groan, and pulled his face up to give him a kiss.
"You're moving quite slow, Max," I teased, pulling his shirt up and off his body in a quick, deft movement.
The last time I had sex was the first time. Back then, it was all about just getting it over with, because I honestly thought the secrets of the universe would open up to me when I did. Everything was hurried and we were both slightly drunk, and I just wanted to get it done.
Of course the universe remained as mysterious as it always was and the floodgates that held its secrets stayed stubbornly shut. Adults should really tell you that they know just as little about the universe as you did.
Max and I were both sober, and it felt like we had a
ll the time in the world. We giggled when our teeth smashed together, or when I pulled his hair too hard. When I lay down on the bed, I'd propped up a pillow low on my back so my boobs didn't split off in different directions or fall into my neck. Max smiled, and in an impressive display of strength, grabbed my arms and flipped us over, and I was above him, looking into his dark eyes.
"I've Googled this," he said proudly, rising slightly to kiss a spot on my throat. "I want you to love this, Martha. I mean really, really enjoy this, so we can do it again…and again..."
"You perv," I laughed, steadying myself with a hand near his head and shivering as each word he repeated was punctuated by a kiss on my breasts. Laughing, he reached for a condom from his bedside table.
My breath caught in my throat, but it was more from anticipation than worry. I should be panicking. I should be closing my eyes or running away, because of the "no mating policy". But it was the last thing he and I wanted right now. Desire hit me so hard and quick that I didn't want to process or think about what was happening. I just wanted Max. I desired him, and god, if he wasn't going to move faster...
Our hands touched when I reached down to help him along. The tips of his fingers were cold, and his dark eyes burned into mine as his lips curled into a mischievous grin. I never noticed that his teeth were crooked before. A flush of bright pink lit up his cheeks and his neck, and my heart melted.
I raised myself slightly over him, already feeling the muscles in my arms shake.
"Wait!" He exclaimed, tightening his grip on my arms. "Count to three?"
"What?!" I exclaimed. "Max, I can't hold myself up for too long..."
"I've got you," he said simply, raising his hips. I squirmed when I felt him against me, and my entire body tingled. "One..."
"Twothree," I said quickly, and oh my god we were having sex. My insides immediately tensed up, and god, I hated to sound like a cliché, but he filled me up so well. I could feel my pulse beating against my temples as Max moved underneath me. Every muscle in my body was burning, but I didn't want it to stop. I raised my hips experimentally to meet his and Max actually threw his head back, exposing the long line of his neck. I bent down to kiss his throat, and he gave out a strangled cry. Holy shit we were actually making sex noises!
Then his hand clasped firmly behind me and pulled me down. I had no idea feeling this good was actually possible. The universe was opening up all of its secrets to me, but I was having so much fun with Max that I didn't want to listen. All I wanted was to be here with him, and keep letting him do that thing he's doing with his hips.
"You have no idea," he said, his hands pulling me down on him as my arms grew tired. My elbows were on the bed, holding me up because I didn't want to crush him. The muscles in my core clenched and my entire body shuddered. The next time Max bragged about his abilities in the bedroom, I was never going to doubt him. "How long I've wanted you like this, gorgeous."
He kissed me, hot and fierce, and I squeezed my thighs in response. But my body was starting to feel too heavy, muscles I've never used protesting. I balled my hands into fists, pulling myself away from a kiss to steady my breath.
Max sensed my discomfort right away and pulled me close, letting himself sink deeper into me before he rolled us over, gravity on my breasts be damned. He started fondling them, licking one of them at some point, but I barely noticed. My knees rose naturally and my toes curled as he pushed in deeper, my head pushing backward into the pillow. The more we moved the more my body tensed, and the more it did, the happier I felt. This was exhilarating!
I tried to move in counterpoint against him, but I couldn't move fast enough to match him. Lowering a leg gave me room to grab his moving hips, to slow him down so I could keep up. I wanted Max to enjoy this too.
"Oh Martha, you are amazing," he purred, and he beamed down at me before a little twist of my hip made him groan so loudly that I couldn't believe it was coming out of his mouth. "Fuck, that's good."
"How can you look at me like that?" I asked, screwing my eyes shut and stretching my neck back. "How can you look at me and not see my body?"
Max kissed the hollow of my throat. He grasped my cheek, making me open my eyes. From where were were lying, I had the perfect view of his incredible body. I could see the sweat that glistened off his brow. I could reach out and feel the tension in his neck, dipping down to his collarbones, and trace a perfect line to the flexed abs on his long torso. His arms were thick and tense but strong, supporting us both as we moved together, like a wave slamming against a concrete wall. Guess which one I was.
He kissed me insistently. Passionately, like he was trying to wash away my little joke. He gave me a stern look and pulled back. I felt him slipping out, opening my mouth to complain when he thrust forward, kissing my neck.
How could I be with someone like him? How could I possibly hope to make him happy? I bit my lip and arched my back. Max pulled me back, resting his forehead against mine. He closed his eyes, and his lips were inches from mine. They were slightly swollen. I realized, with a thrill running up my spine, that I did that. that I could make him feel like that.
He was gasping for breath, slightly sweaty and smiling as we slowed the pace, like he wasn’t the one that couldn’t keep up. I made him feel like that.
"I can see your body. Every line, every curve, every mark," he said, lifting his head. He ran his hand down my neck, my cheek, my breasts, my stretch marks, tracing the same path I had imagined on his body. "And it's perfect."
I really couldn’t blame myself for kissing him so suddenly that my head nearly smashed into his.
Things built to a crazy pressure in my head fast, and I was moving muscles that had never been touched before. I did my best to move against him, because it just made things so much more delicious. It felt like we were running, racing towards the edge of a cliff with our hands clasped together and my heart pounding in my ears. My eyes were squeezing shut no matter how badly I wanted to look, to see, and the tension coiled deliciously between my legs. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? A rush, things pounding, muscles burning and heat building? It certainly didn't feel like this the last time.
I didn't want to think about what this meant for us on the other side, how our friendship would change. All that I knew was how this felt, how sensual and sexy he made me feel. After all, it felt so.very.good.
"How am I...still…breathing," I said, in between gasps, and Max lost his rhythm for a moment, shifting positions again. The little ache building in my muscles eased up, and I managed to raise my legs and squeeze my massive thighs against his sides, encouraging him to drive deeper. My eyes were wide open now, and I forgot to be insecure about my body.
"How…are...you...still...talking?" he asked, and it was my turn to go off balance, kissing the nearest bit of him I could grasp, with a smile on my lips as he lowered his head against my neck and...
"I love you, Martha," Max whispered.
Everything exploded and I released the tightness that had coiled inside me. Nothing else was left, just his body against mine, and this fantastic feeling that just felt...mind-bogglingly, earth-shattering, happily-ever-after fantastic and sexy and gorgeous. My entire universe was this white hot light that had burst from inside, and I weighed absolutely nothing.
The next thing I knew, I was scrabbling for something to hold on to, gasping, finding him and pulling him closer as my entire body shuddered uncontrollably. I could hear Bibi and Wookie barking from the other side of the bedroom door, and Max...Max's dark eyes watched me as I fell, chasing the feeling with feather light kisses to my jaw. Did he finish? Did I just...
"Oh my god," I said, laughing as he gently fell on top of me, his hand taking care to support his weight as we both gasped and wheezed and laughed. The world was bright, shiny, and happy. There I was, lying in bed naked with my best friend. "I didn't know it would be...I mean…"
Max immediately pushed himself up to get off the bed, and walked to the wastebasket where he discarded
the condom, his bare back to me. My eyes traveled low on his ass and I wanted to laugh. I'd squeezed that. And when he turned around, I closed my eyes while he laughed at my attempt to preserve his modesty.
I swallowed thickly. I had no idea how toned his body was underneath those shirts, how much power he could have over an immovable force like me. It was surprising and wonderful.
He slid into bed next to me, and I instinctively cradled his head on my arm, his head resting lightly on the spot between my shoulder and breasts. I remembered thinking that lying in bed in the morning was the sexiest I would ever feel. I was wrong.
This, lying in bed with Max quietly as I caught my breath? This was the sexiest I've ever felt.
Ten
I listened to our breathing for a while.
It took me longer to catch my breath than it did him, which sucked because when I tried to listen to us breathing all I could hear was my own wheezing. Neither of us wanted to speak, to break the spell we were under.
Wookie realized that the door was actually ajar the entire time Max and I were inside, and now he and Bibi were curled up at our feet on the bed. I buried my face in his chest, smiling. I couldn't help it. This was better than any coffee commercial fantasy that I could come up with.
"Are you okay? Anything hurt?" he asked, scanning my face and body like he was expecting something to be bleeding or falling off. I shook my head.
"I'll probably be sore in the morning," I said, already feeling it in my arms, my thighs. Even my back was a little achy. But right now I could be bleeding somewhere and not have it ruin my high.
Oh my god, I get the appeal of sex now.
"I guess you weren't kidding when you said you were good at this, then?"
If the Dress Fits Page 12