"I understand, we don't need to talk about it ever again," Alice said and grabbed her wine glass. Taking a large mouthful she gulped it down. "As I said, once Charles is gone, so am I."
John shook his head. "No, you don't understand. I didn't dismiss what you said. I'm very fond of you Alice." Reaching across the table he put his hand on hers. "I just want to take my time getting to know you, that's all."
Alice looked to his hand and struggled to find the right reply.
"Unless maybe you've changed your mind?"
"Huh, no, no, you're gorgeous," Alice said and closed her eyes on hearing what she'd said. Not opening them, she asked. "I didn't say that old loud, did I?"
"You did."
"Oh God, I'm sorry John. I think that wine's gone to my head." Opening her eyes she saw him grin. "What?"
"You think I'm gorgeous."
"I never said that."
John patted her hand. "But you did."
"It was the wine."
"Fibber," John said.
Seeing Amy come back and take her seat, Alice was relived of the distraction and asked. "So, have fun?"
"Not really," Amy pouted. "You know they eat them?"
"Eat who?" John asked.
"The fish," Amy pointed to the tank. "A waiter came over and took one out. When I asked what he was doing, he said he was taking it to the kitchen for the chef."
"Oh," John said. "I think maybe it's time we got you back for bed, what do you think, Alice?"
"Maybe a good idea, I'm feeling a little tired myself."
Calling for the waiter, John asked. "How about we go to Woodward's Gardens this weekend, Amy?"
"And Alice?"
"I was including Alice, unless she's got plans?" John asked. "You got any plans for this weekend, Alice?"
"Well, no. But I wouldn't want to-" Alice said.
"That's settled then," John said and paid for their meal. "Unless you don't want to spend the day with a gorgeous father and his daughter."
"I told you it was the wine."
"Fibber."
*****
Closing Amy's bedroom door softly for fear of waking her, Alice found John standing outside waiting.
"Well?"
"Out like a light. I'd only gotten halfway through her book before she nodded off."
"Thanks. I think being up late last night with the wedding tuckered her out," John said. "I know I said it before, but you're good with her."
Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Kids just seem to take to me for some reason."
John nodded and smiled. "Can I ask you something? Now if it sounds silly tell me-"
"What?" Alice asked.
"How would you like work as Alice's governess?"
"Me a governess? I don't know, John, I don't have the experien-"
"Why not, I'm in need of one at the moment. Plus you and her get on like a house on fire."
"I don't know-"
John walked over and took her hand. "Look I'll be honest, it's not just for her sake. I'd really like to get to know you." Bending in close, he kissed her on the cheek. "Think it over."
Leaving it at that, he bid her good night and left her alone in the hallway. Watching him walk away, Alice put her hand to the spot his lips had touched. Feeling a warm glow inside her, she knew what her answer was going to be.
Chapter 9
Alice heard the door creak open and looked at it sleepily. Watching the man cross the floor, she heard him grunt as he fell into a chair in the corner of the room. Not lifting her head, she listened as he ranted to himself before hearing him take a drink from a bottle and drop it to the floor. Too tired to get up from her bed she listened as its contents glugged out and knew she'd have a mess to clean in the morning. That, and the smell of alcohol he brought into the room with him.
"You asssleep?"
Alice ignored the voice and said nothing. Not knowing what mood he was coming home in, she knew better than to say anything for fear of angering him. Hearing his boot, being pulled off and thudding as they hit the floor, she heard him ask one more time.
"I assked—you assleepp?"
Hearing a growing anger in his tone, Alice thought it better to answer him. She'd ignored him before and regretted her decision. Maybe this time she could stop it before it grew.
Sitting up in bed, she looked to the silhouette. "No, I was worried about you."
"Were you now?"
"It was getting late, and I thought maybe something happened to you."
"Probably praying sssomething did," he drunkenly replied.
Alice pulled the bed sheets closer to her chest and watched as he worked his braces free of his shoulders. Standing up with a wobble he pulled his trousers down and kicked them across the floor. Working on the button on his shirt he roared, "WELL?"
"No, no. Of course not. Why would I want something to happen to the man that I love and takes care of me?"
"Too bloody right and don't you forget it."
Alice watched him throw his shirt in the same direction as his trousers had gone and come closer to the bed. "Take your clothes off."
"You look tired, how about we wait until morning when-"
"Are you arguing with me?"
"No, I just thought-"
"Leave the thinking to me, Alice. Or maybe that's what you want, getting me all worked up. You like it like that?"
Alice knew better to answer him when he was like this. Anything she said would be turned against her. Watching him come closer and reading his body language, she knew how things were going to play out. "Please don't, you're not yourself when you've got drink in you-"
"You're my wife, you'll do as you're told. NOW STRIP!"
Alice watched him step closer to the edge of the bed. Still standing in the shadows, she imagined the sick drunken smile on his face. Pulling the small string on the front of her nightdress, Alice loosened it and opened her top. Watching him watch her, she took it off over her head and then folded her arms over her exposed breasts. Seeing him come nearer, she heard him command her to stand.
"Please don't."
"Shut your mouth, you love it you bitch. Now bend over."
Looking to the door, Alice thought of running and quickly gave up on the idea. She knew if she did he'd make her pay for it. Better to suffer five minutes now than the hiding she knew he'd give her. Bending over at the waist, Alice put her hands on the bed and clenched her teeth waiting for him to enter her. Feeling his cold hands on her, she heard him mumble to himself. Trying to put her mind on something else, Alice put her hand on her pillow and concentrated her mind on it. Feeling the softness of it, she paused as she felt something hard under it. Confused as to what it could be hiding, she ignored his next order and slid her hand under it. Feeling the cold hard steel and shape, she gasped as she realized she had her hand on a gun. Wondering where it had come from, Alice pulled it out and looked at its dark shape. Lost in a world of her own, she was brought back to reality by a stinging slap on her behind.
"You hear me? I said on the bed."
Alice looked at the gun in her hand. "No."
"What did you say?"
Alice turned and aimed the gun at his head. "I said, no. Not now, not ever."
"You wouldn't dare-"
Squeezing the trigger, Alice didn't allow him to say anything more. Jumping at the gun's noise and the wet mess that splashed against her naked body, she stepped back and fired another shot to where she presumed his heart was. Happy that he'd never hurt her again, she sat on the edge of the bed and looked with bemusement at the corpse. Numb at first, the only thought that came to her was the thought of the mess she'd have to tidy up. Cursing him for that, she walked to the light switch and turned it on. Expecting to find her husband there, she stood frozen at the sight of John in his place. Feeling his warm blood pool at her feet, Alice screamed for all she was worth.
Sitting up in bed, Alice opened her eyes and took in the room. Different from the one she'd been in a moment before, and her hand
without a gun, she quickly realized she'd had a nightmare. Flopping back in bed, she fought to control the pounding heart that threatened to burst from her chest. Wiping the cold sweat from her face and trying to catch her breath, Alice found the door spring open and John come in. Flicking on the light switch, his eyes searched the room before coming back to rest on her.
"Alice, are you alright, I heard a scream."
"Just a nightmare."
Seeing the man she'd shot only a moment before, Alice pulled away as he reached to her.
"Are you OK-?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? It sounded like-"
"What did I say? I'm fine."
"I just thought-"
"Get out!"
"Alice-"
"What did I say, GET OUT!"
Knowing he wasn't to blame and seeing the look of confusion on his face, Alice tried her best to find something to soften what she'd said. But she couldn't. Lost for words and still in shock, she stared at him and pulled the bed clothes close to her chest. Seeing him finally get the message, she watched him get off the bed and go to the door. Turning for second as if about to say something, Alice turned away with embarrassment until she heard the door close.
Now left alone, Alice lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling above her. Replaying the image of John's face as he'd left, he'd looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. Which was probably true. Swept away in Elizabet's whirlwind romance, she'd been stupid to think that she could have the same. She was nothing like Elizabet. She was damaged goods. Shooting her captor and her dream were reminders of that. How could John take on a woman like her after all he's been through, he didn't deserve it. He deserved a woman who could love him in every way, something she knew she couldn't provide. Wiping away a tear that trickled down her face, Alice cursed her husband for what he'd done to her. Knowing that sleep was the last thing she needed, Alice walked to her dresser and began to dress.
Chapter 10
Leaving the house at first light, Alice sat in the garden and soaked in her surroundings. Not one to have spent much time outside a city she found the silence hard to get used to and whistled softly to herself. Thinking herself alone, she heard a voice remark.
"Couldn't sleep?"
Looking in the direction of the voice, Alice found one of the older housemaids at work putting out the mornings washing.
"A little, bad dream last night." Alice said and left her seat. Going over to join her, Alice picked up a bed sheet and helped her hang it.
"Scary and all as they are, sometimes I find life scarier,” she remarked. “What with this war going on, and people going crazy with this gold fever. I don't know, seemed simpler in my day."
Picking up another sheet out of the wash basket, Alice pinned it to the line.
"Are you a friend of Miss Elizabet's?"
Holding out her hand, Alice apologized. "Sorry, I'm Alice."
"May," she replied, taking the hand and shaking it. "I can tell from your accent you're not from round here."
"New York."
May nodded her head. Working on pinning up another sheet, she asked, "Mail order bride?"
"Yes—how did you know?"
"Just I'd seen you alone talking to John, and I didn't see any other man in your company. Any single lady from New York is usually a mail order bride—you staying long?"
"I'll be heading back to the city soon, just one or two things to get settled first-"
"So you and John…?"
Alice shook her head. "No. I think that boat has sailed. Not sure if marriage and I are right for each other."
Stopping her work, May looked her over and shook her head. "Why do you say that, a good looking girl like you?"
Alice smiled weakly. "First one didn't end well."
"Dead?"
"Wish he was."
May nodded her head. "I see." Carrying on with her work she continued. "But you didn't know this until after?"
Picking a towel from the wash basket, Alice hung it. "Not until we got married. He was sweet for the first couple of days until I found out he had a trouble with drink—and then his fists."
"I can't understand men like that. My own husband, God rest his soul, was far from that. The sweetest man you could ever meet. Had a heart that was as soft as his head." Chuckling over those words she looked to the sky. "Wondering what poor soul's up there tying up his boot laces. Damn fool couldn't do them for himself."
Chuckling along, Alice found herself warming to the woman's sweet nature. "So what happened to him?"
"Cholera. He used to work at the harbor, you know, laboring and stuff." Alice nodded. "Well, a boat came in a few years back—I don't think they realized it at the time—but it spread like wild fire. People all over the place were dropping with the disease. In fact, that's what John's wife died from."
Alice stopped what she was doing. "I didn't know."
"Yeah. She offered to help out at the local hospital. She used to work there before they got married. Well, when things got out of control she went back to help out. Poor girl caught it too. Very sad."
"And how did he-?"
"Cope? Not well. I think it almost put him over the edge. Only for little Amy, I shudder to think what might have become of him---could you pass me that last sheet?"
Picking it up and helping her hang it, Alice heard her say. "In fact, it's been a while since I've seen him happy."
"Probably because Tom's back to share the workload,” Alice added.
May shook her head. "I don't know—maybe. He's been mighty busy lately, what with his father gone. But I think there's something more than that. Might even be you?"
Alice smiled and shook her head on hearing this. "I don't think we'd be right for each other. I don't think I can give him what he's looking for."
"Can't cook?"
"I can, but that's not what I meant."
"Most men think about only two things, their pecker and their stomach. Keep both of them happy and he'll never roam…" Realizing what she'd said, May rushed to pick up her laundry basket and apologized. "Sorry for my bluntness, I forgot who I was talking to-"
Alice chuckled. "It's fine. Back where I used to work I heard a lot worse than that. Some things I think even you would blush at."
May smiled. "That's good." Pausing for a moment she asked. "Anything I can get you, a cup of tea, some breakfast?"
"I'm fine, May, thanks. I think I'll just sit by myself for another while. Got a lot of thinking to do."
"Alright then," May nodded and walked off. Calling back over her shoulder she added, "But if you want my advice, you won't find a better man around here than John."
Watching the woman head back in doors, Alice muttered to herself. "If only it was that easy." Not knowing what her next move would be, she went back to her seat and got back to her thinking.
*****
Going back to her room, Alice found Amy sitting on her bed.
"Where were you? I searched the house and nobody knew where you were. I even asked father and he ignored me—I think he didn't get a good night sleep," Amy said. "So where were you?"
Sitting on the bed beside her, Alice patted her on the leg. "So how long have you been here?"
"Oh, a little while—so where were you?"
Alice smiled and ruffled her hair. "In the garden, I couldn't sleep. Like your father I suppose. Did he say anything?"
"No. Just grumbled about work or something…"
"Didn't say anything about me?"
"Nah. So why couldn't you sleep?"
Alice reached over and gave her a squeeze. "What is it with you this morning and all these questions? Almost swear you were working for the law."
"The law, what do you mean?"
Alice shook her head. "Never mind. Alright, I couldn't sleep because I had a nightmare."
"Oh, I hate them. Scary?"
"A little. Dreamt about someone I hadn't seen in a long while. I think that's why your father was grumpy this morning, I wok
e him up."
"Oh. You should have asked him to sing to you. That's what he does when I have one."
Picturing the scene of John singing her back to sleep, Alice couldn't help but chuckle. "I think I'm a bit big for his singing. Is he any good?"
"Not really. Not as good as grandma. So who was it that you were dreaming of, was it Charles?"
Hearing the name, Alice turned to her. "Charles? Why would you think it was him?"
"I heard father talking about him this morning on the phone," Amy said. "He said that he was happy that Charles was caught."
Alice held her at arm's length. "You're sure he said Charles?"
Amy played with the bow on the waistband of her dress before looking up worried. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"
"No. No. I'm just glad that they've got him. He was a bad man-"
"Like the man in your dream?"
Alice nodded. "Yes, like the man in my dream."
"So was he caught?"
Alice shook her head. "No."
"Maybe you should say it to father. Maybe he could help."
"Maybe I should," Alice said, smiling at her innocence. If only life was that simple, she thought. If it was, she'd been married to a wonderful man and care for daughter. But that dream wasn't going to come about anytime soon. Casting her eyes around the room, Alice's eyes fell to her suitcase in the corner. Now with Charles gone, there was no reason to stay any longer.
Chapter 11
Alice stiffened as she knocked the door. Hearing the footsteps on the other side, she watched John open it.
"Alice."
"John."
Opening the door of the room open, Alice entered and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. On the verge of opening her mouth, John directed her to a chair in front of a large writing desk. Taking her seat, she watched him stand behind his own and hold onto the back of it. Seeing his knuckles whiten she watched him compose himself before beginning. "Before you say anything, Alice. I want to apologize for last night, I should have knocked instead of storming into your room like that. I just heard you screaming and-"
"It should be me apologizing to you John," Alice interrupted. "I'm embarrassed at the way I lashed out. You didn't deserve it. I'm sorry. All day I've been trying to come up with the right words to-"
Mail Order Bride: Journey's End: A Mail Order Brides Western Romance (Love On The Line Book 2) Page 4