His dad raises his hand slowly as though adjusting his measurement of Cillian. He appears deep in thought. “I never left.”
“Yeah, you did. You left us. Mum and me.”
He shakes his head. “I never left the earth. I had so much time to think. So much aching, crawling, buzzing time. Why leave? Why struggle back and forth? I did for so long because it was too loud here—so loud, so loud, all the voices and claws and hungry mouths sucking at it—but I had gotten used to the noise. You were noisy.” A brief, dreamy smile flits across his face, but then it goes back to a neutral expression so lifeless it’s almost terrifying. “I stayed. And because I stayed, I was here when the doors all shut. When the noise was cut off. Only I am here now, and it’s time.”
“Time for what?” Rhys’s crossbow is pointed right at his boyfriend’s dad.
“For my third form. For my final form. For earth to have a god once more.”
“Bit of a monopoly.” Sean grins. “Used to be more competition, yeah? But we partnered up, and it’s been good business for everyone. Once the Sleeping One here is fully awake, we’ll use my network to spread his word, and before you know it, my products and his worship will be in—” Sean twitches, then looks down to see the crossbow bolt embedded in his shoulder. “Bloody hell, you shot me.”
I turn to Rhys, but his weapon is still loaded and trained on the hellgod. Doug looks at me, his crossbow no longer loaded. “I’ve had to listen to a lot of his speeches over the years.”
Sean staggers back toward the tunnel he came from. “Enough!” he shouts. “They’re wasting our time. Take them.” The pounding of dozens of sets of feet surrounds us with metallic rumbling as black-cloaked minions pour into the cavern. They’re behind us and in front of us, totally blocking any paths we might take.
Tsip pops into existence in front of me. “Just so you know, you’re surrounded. Okay, bye!”
I don’t have time to ask if Jade, Maricruz, and Chao-Ahn are all right before Tsip disappears again. Teleportation is wasted on her.
“Keep my son,” the hellgod says. “I am curious about him, and he should see what happens next. The rest can go.”
“You’re letting them leave?” Sean sounds outraged. His shoulder is bleeding and I’m sure quite painful, but Doug didn’t hit him anywhere that would kill him.
“Why should I care about them?”
“Because.” I stand on the edge of our walkway and calculate distances. “I’m a Slayer.”
Cillian’s dad smiles. “A Slayer never killed a god.”
“Nope,” Rhys agrees. “But a Watcher has.” He fires his crossbow. The bolt lands with deadly precision exactly where a human heart would be. The hellgod pulls the bolt out. It trails a shimmering gossamer substance that evanesces into nothing as it hits the air.
“Triangle thing, right?” I turn my head toward Rhys.
He nods. “When in doubt, break the big glowy thing. We’ll add it to the Slayer handbook.”
“Go,” Cillian says. “We got this.”
I take one step back, then push off the edge and leap. I soar through the air, covering the distance between catwalks in a way no normal person could. Maybe even no Slayer could. Faith’s right. If I have extra, time to stop hating myself for it. I’m going to use everything. I land hard between Artemis and Leo. I swing the sword toward her, but she takes a step back, holding up her hands. “By all means.”
“We’re not done.” I can’t even stand to look at her, knowing what she did. It makes no sense. None of it. But Leo first. I slice through the duct tape, then set my sword down and break the chain holding him there. He stands, full of life and fury. I know it’s awful how it happened, but seeing him restored is still like cold water on a parched throat.
The fight on the catwalk behind me is raging, awkward and treacherous with the drop beneath all of them. “You good?” I ask Leo.
He nods. “They need help.”
“I’d toss you, but even I’m not that strong.”
He smiles at me, something so hopeful and warm bursting through the sadness and desperation there. We haven’t lost each other yet.
“I have a better idea.” He jumps, grabbing the bottom of the triangle doom device. It swings, and he uses his own weight to increase the momentum.
“Be careful!” Cillian’s dad shouts. For the first time, he has the sense to look nervous.
“Watchers, duck!” Leo releases and flies through the air. He sails over our friends’ heads and then lands hard just past them. So hard, in fact, that the catwalk groans and buckles beneath him. He jumps back as that portion of it detaches, taking most of the zealots with it. They tumble down the side of the cavern toward the bottom. Leo turns and joins Rhys, Cillian, Imogen, and Doug fighting the remaining zealots. Which leaves me with my sister.
“Is it ready?” she shouts, ignoring me.
“We’ll come to you! I know the way!” Leo pushes through their remaining attackers, tossing them off the catwalk with ease, and my friends run into a cavern.
“No,” the hellgod says. “It must be shifted into the divine transference configuration.”
Artemis huffs in frustration. “Translation?”
“Translation is,” I say, twirling my sword, “I still have time.” I swing with all my might at the side of the wretched triangle thing. My sword connects with a ringing blow—and then my hands and arms go numb. The sword clangs to the catwalk, my arms useless.
“Nina.” Artemis sighs. “Honestly.” Then she punches me in the face.
ARTEMIS
EVERYTHING IS SPINNING OUT OF control. Nina was never supposed to be here. She was never supposed to see how it happened. She was never supposed to be in danger.
Artemis wanted to protect her from that, at least. But it’s too late. She needs to protect Nina, she needs to help Honora, she needs and she needs and she needs. The Sleeping One was right to see that in her. She needs so much, and until she gets this power, she’ll face this exact situation until Nina dies, or Honora does, or Artemis does. She’ll watch Nina get left behind in flames. She’ll watch Honora being hurt by people she can’t fight.
Once, when presented with an impossible situation, she chose Nina. And because of that, she lost the role that should have been hers. The training. The power to make decisions for herself and others. She’s never forgotten what it felt like to hold Nina in her arms while the world burned around them. It wasn’t real—it was a magic-induced hallucination to test whether she could make the hardest sacrifice—but Artemis saw and felt everything. Those bastards made her test as close to what had actually happened as possible. The world even burned violet-black, just like their room.
She chose Nina. She chose wrong. And she knows Nina will never make the right choice either.
This time she’s choosing power over Nina, so she’ll never have to make that choice again because no one—no one—will be able to hurt her. And only then will everyone else be safe.
Nina is in her arms again. The world isn’t burning. Yet. Artemis won’t fail.
29
“NO FAIR,” I MUMBLE AROUND the swirling stars of pain and confusion left behind after Artemis’s fist gave my face a handshake. “Cheating.” My arms still won’t work, and Artemis is obviously taking whatever performance-enhancing demon cocktail Honora favors.
“Will you calm down and wait?” She hauls me to standing, then holds me up, my back against her. Her arm around my neck. A blade against my—
Oh. Not holding me up. Holding me hostage.
“How could you?” I’m not crying because of the pain in my face—which is tremendous but temporary. “She helped raise us. She knitted you a scarf last Christmas. She’s Rhys’s grandma.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Ruth! She was an old lady who never hurt … well, she probably hurt a lot of things, but she never hurt us.”
“You have a concussion.” Artemis sounds concerned but distracted. “I didn’t mean to hit you that har
d.”
“Artemis!” Rhys shouts as he, Leo, and Cillian race onto our catwalk. Leo is still mildly glowing—or it could be my spinning vision giving him a halo—and Rhys has his crossbow reloaded and pointed at my sister. Which also means pointed at me. Imogen is behind them, next to Doug.
“I need to know how to make it work.” Artemis jerks her head back toward the glowy doom triangle. “I know the basics, but the book didn’t have any diagrams.”
“You slit my grandmother’s throat,” Rhys says, his voice cold.
“What the hell, Rhys? Nina, is that what you were talking about? Ruth is dead?”
“Don’t play dumb!” Rhys’s hands are shaking.
“Point that elsewhere, please.” I eye the crossbow. My arms are still numb, but my fingers feel like they’re being stabbed by a million hot lava needles, so that’s probably a good sign I’m going to get movement back. Or a sign my fingers are about to fall off. I give it fifty-fifty odds. “Artemis, drop the knife. No one here wants to hurt you.”
“I do,” Rhys says.
“But we will if we have to,” I continue, glaring at Rhys.
“You all think—you actually think …” She takes a deep breath. “After everything. Figures. I don’t have time for this.” Artemis jabs the knife, poking me with it. “Cillian. I see the way you’re looking at it. You know how it works, don’t you?”
Cillian shakes his head, but then nods. He can’t quite look away. It’s exactly the same as the puzzle his dad let him play with when he was little. So whatever needs to happen to make it functional … I suspect Cillian can do it.
“Why are you helping a hellgod, Artemis?” I ask.
“I’m not helping anyone. Cillian. Do it.”
“No!” I shake my head.
There’s a shout and a scream. I can’t look to see, but it sounds like my mother and Cillian’s mother. Inside the caverns.
“Rhys?” Cillian sounds terrified.
For one second Rhys seems torn. Avenge his grandma’s attack, or protect my mother and Cillian’s after having lost his own without a chance to save her. I can’t nod at him because of the knife placement, but my eyes communicate enough.
He swings his crossbow toward the tunnels. “On it! Leo, with me! Imogen and Cillian, don’t let Artemis move.” They turn and run back into the tunnels.
“What now?” Cillian’s hands are trembling, his crossbow shaking. He keeps glancing to the side, trying to see what else is happening without taking his eyes off Artemis.
“Do what Artemis asks,” Imogen says, putting her hand on Cillian’s shoulder. Doug looks alarmed and unsure what to do. He can’t spit and hit Artemis without also hitting me, and we need me clearheaded.
“What?” Cillian turns to her.
“Jade blew up the stone and nothing changed. Nina tried to break this thing, and it didn’t work. We don’t have any plays left here. We can’t lose Nina. Artemis has already shown how far she’s willing to go. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it. Besides, Mister Hellgod over there can’t reach it. He’s not even trying. He doesn’t expect us to be able to do anything. So we improvise.” She grins. She’s handling all of this really well. Or she’s lost touch with reality and is so far into panic mode that she’s actually calm.
Whichever it is, Cillian shouldn’t listen to her. I shake my head, but Artemis yanks me to the side, then drops me over the edge of the catwalk. I yelp, but my fall is broken as she grabs one of my useless arms and holds me there, dangling. The drop probably won’t kill me, but it’s far enough that even I’ll get hurt. And I don’t know how I’ll get back up here to help. Honora rolled off the side so she had things to grab on to. I’ll fall straight down.
“Save her!” Doug says, panic altering the desert landscape of his face.
“I’m doing it!” Cillian edges past Artemis, his hands up. He pauses in front of the doom triangle, studying it. Then he reaches out and takes hold of one of the corners. I don’t think it will move—I hope it won’t—but the way he slides it triggers a smooth progression of shifting sides. He manipulates it faster and faster, falling into a rhythm like someone who’s done a Rubik’s cube hundreds of times. The corners spin and spin until they shimmer, the lines disappearing into pure light. And then, suddenly, it all clicks into place. It looks almost the same, but everything is inverted, and the glow is brilliant, concentrated. Now it’s a pyramid, the side nearest the catwalk open like a door.
Artemis looks down at me, tears in her eyes. “You weren’t supposed to be here. I’m not sorry for anything I’ve done, but I want you to know that you were supposed to be far away.” She blinks rapidly, trying to clear her vision. “I always thought Mom saved me first because she loved me more. But she saved me first because I was weak. That’s why you got left behind. And someday soon, you’re going to die. Mom’s going to die. Honora’s going to die. I’m going to lose everyone I love just like we lost Dad because I’m not strong enough. Because I was never chosen. I’m choosing myself today. I’ll save everyone.”
Cillian shakes his head as though coming out of a daze. He slowly backs away, eyes drawn to the light.
Leo and Rhys reappear. “We couldn’t find them,” Rhys says, then stops, staring in alarm at the new configuration.
“We need Jade and her explosives!” I shout.
“On it!” Doug runs toward the tunnels.
“Give Nina to me,” Leo says, his voice gentle. “Nothing’s been done yet that can’t be undone.” He takes a step toward us. “I understand, maybe more than anyone else. Give me Nina, and then we’ll figure it out from there.”
“The hell we will,” Rhys says. He pulls his trigger. Artemis drops her shoulder, dodging the bolt, then swings me up and throws me right into my friends. They catch me, everyone falling except Leo. He holds me.
Artemis steps backward, knife up as Rhys scrambles to untangle himself and reload his crossbow. “You never trusted me. Any of you. And you, Nina?” Her voice breaks, but then goes hard and cold. “What did I expect? Watchers don’t take care of their own. It’s up to me.” She puts her hand on the side of the hellgod’s cage.
“What are you doing?” Cillian’s father asks. For the first time, he sounds alarmed. “You cannot use that.”
Artemis doesn’t look at him. She turns toward me and shakes her head, her expression exhausted but determined. She tightens her ponytail like she always does before a fight. “Ending it.”
And then Artemis steps into the light.
A blinding pulse throws us all to the metal grating of the catwalk. Leo covers me, trying to shield me, but it’s like the light is everywhere, in everything. Even with my eyes closed, I can see it. I can feel it.
It recedes like a wave from the shore, leaving me with the sensation that I’m still covered with little grains of light. “You okay?” I ask Leo.
He nods, eyes squeezed shut. “I’m sorry. They would have taken you. They made me choose, and—”
“I get it. We can talk later about how impossible it is to have to weigh the value of one life against another. Promise. We can also fight, because I’m not over everything you did. But for now, you’re back, and I’m glad.” I brush my lips against his cheek and stand. My eyes are dazed, my vision photosensitive and covered with spots like I’ve been staring at the sun.
No. Like I am staring at the sun. And she’s standing on the end of the catwalk. I can’t focus on Artemis. The light coming off her is so brilliant I have to look to the side of her in order to be able to see. The doom triangle behind her is a melted husk, totally ruined.
I shake out my hands. They’re still tingling and mostly numb, but I have movement.
I step toward her. Maybe it’s easier this way. She’s less like my sister and more like the monster she’s apparently become. “I’m not going to let you hurt anyone else. I can’t.”
She laughs, drops of liquid sunshine raining around me, warm and layered. She sounds like herself, but multiplied, amplified, and … happy. So,
so happy. I can’t remember the last time I heard her sound this happy.
“I did it! Oh, Nina, I did it. I fixed everything. None of us have to be scared, ever again. I never have to be scared again. I can feel it everywhere. Everything. I can feel everything, but it doesn’t touch me.”
I have to stop her. I promised everyone I would. I promised her I would. If she tried to murder Ruth to get this power, what will she do to keep it? Girls of fire, I think, watching as my sister burns brighter and brighter.
A phone is ringing insistently in the background. It feels absurd that someone would be calling us at this moment. “Nina!” Imogen shouts. “You have to stop her! Before it takes over! She’ll become just like him, and we’ll all die!”
I look at my sister, wielding all the power of a hellgod. And I know—I know what she did, what she’s done. What she could do now. When she tested to be a Watcher, she was given a choice: save me, or save the world. She chose me. And she made me promise that if I was ever faced with the same decision, I’d choose neither. I’d choose myself. I know that’s not the promise Imogen is referring to, but it’s the only one I can think of.
How can I save myself if it means hurting Artemis?
“Nina!” Rhys shouts.
I pick up my sword from the catwalk. We have to weigh lives. Can my sister’s life really outbalance the whole world? If this is it—what I’m supposed to do—where are my instincts roaring to life? The coiling, seething darkness that demands I fight and rage against everything around me? I reach for it, wanting to cloak myself in it so I can lose the parts of me that would never let me do what I need to do right now.
I’m desperate for anything to shield me from this pain. To keep me from feeling everything. The pain of what I need to do. The pain of knowing what Artemis chose. The pain of everything in this whole bleeding and broken world. Even if it means surrendering myself to absolute darkness. Anything is better than feeling powerless to avoid what has to be done.
The darkness is waiting. It rises to meet me, ready to wash over me and drag me from the shores of myself, just like it pulled me from Buffy again and again in my dream. I lift the sword.
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