“Token?” That word did nothing to make her feel better.
“A token. Where there’s no risk of disease or pregnancy. But I get what I want, and all’s good.”
It took a minute to work out the word puzzle, but when she did she started laughing. She couldn’t help it. The laughter just kept bubbling up inside of her. “Let me get this straight. You get yours. I get nothing—”
“You got something—an eight-hundred-dollar bracelet.”
“You said that came with no strings.”
“Everything has strings, Jayne, everything!” He all but whined this last part.
“I guess I can’t handle the strings, then.”
After she said the words, she realized that she didn’t feel one iota of sadness. A token. Whatever. A token got you on the bus.
Jayne leaned her head back and looked at the clear, starry sky. A token. Ha! The words kept replaying as she worked on the clasp at her wrist. When she unfastened it, she held the rope of gems out to him.
He stared at the bracelet and then gave her his puppy-dog eyes. His voice got softer, lower. Whiny. “Couldn’t you suck me off just once?”
Jayne stared at the boy in front of her. She felt like she wasn’t even in her body anymore.
She got up and pushed the bracelet into his chest until he was forced to reach up and take it. “I have to get going. Have a good life, Darian.”
She turned and left him still staring at her with those puppy-dog eyes. She shivered. Crazy how she’d been into him one second, letting him go with his hand where no one had gone before. And now?
Now he gave her the heebie-jeebies.
She walked by the table of girls, the tips of their cigarettes the only things she could make out in the dark corner. “You break up, Jayne?”
She peered deeper into the shadows. The question sounded like it came from Meadow. “Yep.”
“Before or after he asked you for his token?”
“After.”
She heard Meadow laugh. Joylessly. Knowingly. “Darian’s not too good about going a night without sex. Guess you found that out.”
Jayne had her hand on the sliding glass door. It was late and she was more than ready to forget about Darian and the out-of-body conversation she was having right now.
But she couldn’t help herself. Meadow wasn’t making any sense.
“We’ve been going out a couple of months now,” Jayne said. “He seemed okay with not having sex.”
There was that laugh again. “Sweetie, do you really think he left you after each date to go back home? He’s a senior, he’s on the basketball team, and he’s cute.” The tip of her cigarette grew brighter as she took another drag from it. “He was off screwing anything that moved when he wasn’t with you.”
38
JAYNE JUST WANTED to go home and forget about this night. And these people.
“Has anyone seen my sister?”
The consensus was that she was upstairs in the master bedroom. Passed out.
Jayne ran. Faster than she ever had in her life.
A naked, still form was in the center of the bed.
“Ellie, wake up. Wake up!” She shook her, but that did nothing.
Jayne searched frantically in the dark for clothing. Where the hell was her underwear? And her dress?
She found them tossed on the back of the desk chair. She started pulling Ellie’s legs through the holes of her underwear.
“Is everything okay?”
Jayne turned to quickly glance over her shoulder. Meadow was there. She seemed . . . well, not indifferent, which was something for Meadow. “No. Help me put this dress over her head.”
Together they lifted Ellie’s torso off the bed, slipped the hem of the dress down, and slid it the rest of the way to her knees.
After Ellie was fully dressed, Jayne put her face in front of Ellie’s. “Ellie!”
Her sister’s eyes were closed, but she was moaning.
“Ellie!”
She shook her sister’s shoulders. Nothing. “Meadow, did you see if my sister was drinking anything?”
“I think she had a drink, but it wasn’t like she was throwing them back or anything.” Meadow zipped up Ellie’s dress. “Jayne, you should know that Lori took a picture of Ellie with her cell phone.”
Jayne was shocked into stillness. “What? Why?”
Meadow shrugged. “She’s a freak.”
Jayne went back to the chair and found Ellie’s purse. Please, Ellie, for once, please have been responsible. She opened the clasp.
Inside was Ellie’s glucose meter.
Jayne went to Ellie and punched the meter into the tip of Ellie’s finger. Normal was around 170 mg/dl at this time of night.
Right now, Ellie’s blood sugar was at 400.
“Go and get me some water. Now.”
Meadow left while Jayne reached for Ellie’s cell phone and dialed the pre-programmed number. While she waited for someone to pick up, she put pillows under Ellie’s feet to help keep the blood flowing to her head.
“Nine-one-one. What is your emergency?”
“My sister. She’s in diabetic shock.”
“Jayne!”
Jayne looked up from the tile she’d been staring at. She’d been wondering what had made the scuff marks, and what kind of solvents it would take to clean them up.
She’d been like this for the last twenty minutes or so. Ever since she had ridden in the ambulance with Ellie to Camelback Regional.
The same hospital Jayne had been brought to just four months ago.
Her mom was running down the corridor, and the only thought in Jayne’s mind was that it would really suck if her mom’s heels slipped out from under her.
Then all three Thompkins women could be admitted to this hospital.
Random thought. Then again, this was a random kind of night.
“Jayne, I asked you a question. How’d this happen?”
Jayne had been asking the same thing herself. Ellie had been eating like crap all summer. And she didn’t think her sister had been good about being consistent with her shots.
Then again, getting a shot three times a day, every day, year after year, could get to a person.
But Jayne didn’t really know the answer. She could only guess. So she settled with what she knew: “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Gen’s face was getting red. She must’ve been getting ready for bed when Jayne had called from the ambulance. Her face was free of makeup, her hair was in a ponytail. That of course meant she was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Jayne checked her watch.
1:32 A.M.
“No. I don’t know what Ellie put into her body or didn’t. At first I thought she was drunk, but then I checked her blood glucose levels. That’s when I figured out she was in shock.”
“Gen!” Jayne’s dad walked toward them, fast and determined. He’d gone to see the doctor as soon as her parents had gotten there. “The doctor wants to see us.” He started toward the next set of double doors.
“You stand right here, young lady. Don’t even think about moving a muscle.”
Jayne’s night had been filled with threats, disclosures, and child pornography. She wasn’t about to take her mom’s crap and see what kind of punishment she’d get because her mom was dealing with misplaced mother-guilt issues. (Her sessions with Larry were pretty quiet, but she picked up a few of his psychology journals when he didn’t have a new National Geographic.)
“Or what?”
“Or what?” Gen said the words like she couldn’t believe Jayne had even dared to speak them. “Or what? Fine, let’s get down to brass tacks. You will be going to a boot camp. Or you will be going on my show to talk about this downward spiral you’ve been having. Or—”
Her mom stopped, taking in a sharp breath. She wanted to say something else. Jayne could see it. She could feel it.
“Or what, Gen?”
The use of her first name pushed her mother over the tiny edge sh
e’d been holding on to. “Or else you will leave my house.”
“Good to know where we stand, Gen.” Jayne felt a calm she’d never felt in her life. It made her think more clearly. And made the irrational thoughts she was having seem almost rational. “You may also want to know that while Ellie was in the middle of what everyone mistook for being plastered, Lori—Diane’s stepdaughter—took off Ellie’s clothes and captured it with her camera phone.”
Well, it looked like Gen was speechless. Good. It made Jayne almost want to tell her more. About how when she first saw Ellie, she thought she’d been drugged and raped. Meadow had told her later that Lori had been blabbing all night about what she planned to do with Ellie. To get back at the Thompkinses.
Speechless, Gen turned and followed the path her husband had already taken. She’d pulled her phone out and had it open. To call the police? To call Diane?
Jayne didn’t know. And she didn’t care.
The house was quiet. And dark. Jayne didn’t even close the front door. She was only going to be here a minute.
She went upstairs and looked for Piggy. She found him where she’d last hidden him: in the air duct over her closet.
She’d had Piggy since she was born. Tooth-fairy money had gone in there. Birthday money. Christmas money.
Piggy was the size of a piglet. There had to be a good stash in there. Jayne shifted the ceramic pink pig from hand to hand. It felt like a big stash.
She looked at the wall her mom had had the decorator paint white when Jayne wanted red.
She drew her hand back. The hand holding Piggy.
She threw him at the blank wall, where he shattered in all directions.
Where his guts exploded in all directions. Green, paper guts. The bus was empty. Jayne had known it would be, but not empty empty.
Jayne hugged her backpack closer to her. She sat in the very back, in the corner, her head supported by two sides of bus.
A tiny sound had her opening her zipper a little more. “You okay, Brit?”
A wet black nose and tiny tongue licking her hand answered in reply.
“I don’t know where we’re going yet, but you’re up for the adventure, right?” Another lick answered her.
She’d been all set to leave—money, a week’s worth of underwear, the camera she’d gotten at Christmas and had been too insanely busy or numb to use—when Britney had all about tripped her as she started out the door. Those big ebony eyes of hers had looked at Jayne with such hope. Such love.
Jayne had gotten the leash, a collapsible water dish, and a box of dog treats. When the bus had come, she’d put the very happy stowaway in her backpack.
And now they were traveling companions on Bus 84 at four-thirty on a Saturday morning. Her sister was in intensive care, her mom never wanted to see her again, her boyfriend was an ass, and her best friend . . . he didn’t seem like he wanted to be her best friend anymore.
Jayne hugged her backpack and dog closer to her. She didn’t have anywhere to go.
She didn’t have anyone to go to.
39
SIX-THIRTY A.M. on a Saturday is calm, peaceful, quiet.
It’s also the worst time of day for a teenage girl who just desperately wants to sleep.
Jayne was one such girl. She hadn’t let herself go to sleep on the bus. That was a great way to be a target. And after the past twenty-four hours, she definitely was not going to be a target for yet another person.
The adrenaline had left her, and exhaustion had started to seep through her bones. And right when she wanted to cry because she was so tired, she remembered something.
There was a cot in Maria’s office at Outreach Arizona. The place was closed because Maria had to go to some conference today in North Phoenix. And if that glitchy door in back hadn’t latched properly . . . she could get in.
She knew it was a long shot that it wasn’t latched now. But a long shot was better than the nothing she currently had.
She held her breath when she was standing in front of that door fifteen minutes later. She closed her eyes and swallowed. She felt Britney sit on her foot.
Her eyes still closed, she whispered, “Feeling lucky, Brit?”
Her thumb pressed down, and her arm pulled at the heavy door.
It opened. Britney started barking. That might’ve been because Jayne was jumping up and down and singing, “The door is open, yes it’s true, the door is open, let’s use the loo!”
“Princess?”
Jayne turned the other way on the stiff cot. When was she going to stop dreaming about the Outreach program? It was like there was something in the air that made her keep having weird dreams. Like the one she’d just had about Darian stalking her around the cubicles, his penis hanging out.
“Hey, Jayne. This isn’t a Motel 6.”
Jayne cracked open her eyes, hoping that this was just another one of her dreams where Ryan was a ringmaster, whip in hand, and Jayne was trying to figure out how to do a hand-stand on an elephant.
Nope. This was real-life Ryan. No whip. Just a chain around her neck.
“What’re you doing here?” Jayne’s voice came out hoarse. She looked at her watch. It was two o’clock. It was the middle of a Saturday, the last Saturday before school, and she was hiding out in the Outreach center, nothing but dog biscuits, a snoring dog, and a week of underwear as her possessions.
“I left something in my desk.”
“You have a key?” Jayne had heard that Maria was the only one with a key. Something about not trusting any of the delinquents around here enough to have a copy.
“Yeah, I have a key.” Ryan seemed offended, based on her tone and scowl. “But you don’t. How’d you get in?”
“The sticky door by the Dumpster. Where we sat outside and you smoked the other day.”
Ryan rolled her eyes. “I told Maria she needed to do more than just WD-40 it.”
Jayne sat up, and she felt dizzy. She put her head in her hands. “Well, I for one am glad it didn’t work.”
She looked up when Ryan didn’t say anything. The girl was staring at her bemusedly, a finger hooked over her chain. “You hungover or something?”
Jayne laughed. “No. I’m the furthest thing away from a hangover right now.”
“Then why do you look like you are?” Ryan had a note of disbelief in her voice.
Jayne stood up, and the motion made her even dizzier. But she kept on her feet. Her pride wouldn’t let her sink back down to the cot. “Maybe because I have just had the worst night of my life.”
Britney leaned against her leg, and Jayne picked her up, thankful for having at least one buddy on her side. She buried her nose against Britney’s dog-scented neck.
Jayne looked up when the silence seemed to be stretching for an eternity. Ryan was looking at her fingernails, picking at the black polish.
Without looking up, she asked, “You hungry?”
“Yeah. I am.”
“What’s your dog’s name?”
“Britney. Britney Spears Federline.”
Ryan looked up. Was there a tiny little smile on her mouth? Nah, Jayne was imagining it. She was so starved for company, she actually thought Miss Unsocial here was warming up to her.
“Well then, Jayne. You can bring your bitch with us if you want.” She started toward the door. Jayne followed.
“But Jayne?”
“Yes, Ryan?”
This first-name business was weird. Oddly satisfying, but weird.
“If she piddles on my upholstery, I’m going to turn Britney into a rag. Okey-dokey?”
40
FEEL LIKE GETTING some breakfast?” Ryan had come out of nowhere, and was now jingling her car keys.
Jayne looked up from the computer she was at. It was 6 A.M. on Sunday and she was trying to look for an apartment with the $887 Piggy had given his life for.
So far, nothing. Not with security deposits. Pet deposits. First and last months’ rent.
It looked like it was time to fi
nd someone needing a room-mate. And who lived in a cheap part of town that wouldn’t scare the bejeezus out of her.
“Or have you had something already?” Ryan squatted next to Jayne and rubbed behind Britney’s ears. The two had bonded over bacon scraps and an afternoon walk the day before.
“Nope.” She clicked off the computer. Apartment searching could wait. “And you’re just in time, too. Those dog biscuits were looking mighty tempting.”
“Okay, stalker, how’d you know about this place?”
“What?” Ryan pulled her Jeep into a space and turned off the engine.
“It’s just this place. It’s my favorite place in the world.” They were parked outside All the Sweet Tomorrows. Her and Ellie’s place. And most of Paradise Valley’s place, judging by the line winding its way around the building.
“I know.”
“See? You’re my stalker.”
Ryan got out and slammed the door. Jayne followed suit. “I heard you going on and on about it to Meadow one day.”
“Ryan, I didn’t know you cared.” Jayne batted her eyelids.
The other girl laughed as she adjusted one of the black leather cuffs that encircled her forearm. “Yeah, well, a person doesn’t forget a name like All the Sweet Tomorrows. Sounds like a stupid romance novel.”
“I know. Isn’t it great?”
Two blueberry muffins and two macchiatos later, Jayne saw a familiar face making her way through the parking lot.
“Oh my lord. Maria’s here. What a small . . .” Jayne trailed off as she realized Ryan wasn’t looking toward Maria or at her. “Hey, you rat.” Ryan looked up. “Did you have Maria meet us here?”
Ryan shrugged. Before Jayne could ask anything else, Maria was at their table.
“Ladies! Fancy meeting you! Let me grab something and I’ll be right back.”
The way the woman had just plopped her purse down and hadn’t even asked to join them, Jayne was a hundred percent certain that Ryan had set her up.
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