by Sam Mariano
Why didn’t she tell me? I specifically asked her and gave her a second chance when we talked about her mom’s old boyfriends. This asshole was one of her mom’s old boyfriends. What the fuck?
“You’re gonna want to kill her mom after you read that,” he warns me. Not in the colloquial way; I’ll probably actually long to have her murdered. “I wouldn’t do it,” he advises. “We’ll take out the guy, but as shitty as her mom is, it’s just going to create an additional headache for you with Mia.”
“She doesn’t have to know I killed her.”
“I know, but she has other kids with nowhere to go and it’s superfluous. You can easily keep Mia away from her. If you’re gonna kill the mom, the other kids are going to end up in the system. None of them have dads I can put a name to. I could look into it more if you want and figure out who they belong to, but if they don’t even know, they’re not going to have relationships with the bastards. I don’t suppose you want to take in Mia’s younger siblings?”
“Not particularly.”
Adrian nods. “Then my official advice is to let Shelly live. For Mia, if for no other reason. Even if they don’t have a relationship, you know she would be upset if her mom died.”
“Yes, I suppose so,” I admit, a bit grudgingly. “Where’s the rest of the information on this guy? I don’t even see an address for him.”
“I’ve only had a few hours,” Adrian states. “Relax. I’m gonna put it together tonight. Or, I was, but now that you’ve cut your day off short, I assume I have to go guard Mia again?”
Technically he probably doesn’t. Mia isn’t going to try to escape right now; we’re in a good place. Even if I got a little spooked and needed a breather, it’s not like that’s enough to scare her off if raping her didn’t do the job.
I still want her watched, though. Just to make sure Vince doesn’t go after her. He hasn’t seen her since their interaction in the hall, but he vibrated with visible rage at dinner last night. Her empty seat between us, him likely tormenting himself all through dinner with mental images of me fucking her. Knowing that once dinner was over, I would go upstairs and do just that, but unable to do a goddamn thing to stop me.
Just to be on the safe side, I nod at Adrian. “Stay posted outside her door tonight until I come up.”
“All right. I’ll put someone else on Leroy.”
We spend a few more minutes catching one another up—he tells me about his conversation with Mia’s piece of shit mother, I tell him I’ve narrowed down dates for Dubai. He won’t be going with me, but with me out of the country, Adrian will have to keep the ship afloat.
Our conversation is interrupted when Dante storms into the study, brown eye blazing with anger. “What the fuck is going on over here?”
“Nice to see you, too,” I offer, dryly.
“Why did you call off my guys? Did something happen with the girl?”
I don’t feel like explaining to my brother or Adrian that I’m going to keep her for myself, but I do have to give them some kind of explanation. The loyalty test was a good idea. We do need to know if she would talk about us, especially Adrian, who she could frankly nail with what she saw. Adrian has wanted me to ease up on her though, so he hasn’t dared pry, probably for fear I’d change my mind.
“Nothing has happened,” I tell Dante. “The plan has changed.”
Dante scowls. “Why has the fucking plan changed? If nothing happened, the plan doesn’t change. That’s not how plans work.”
I take a second, trying to assemble the best and briefest explanation while still helping Dante understand why it’s no longer necessary. “When the plan was formulated, we didn’t know Mia. We assumed she would be normal. She isn’t. Despite all that’s been done to her, she isn’t angry or vengeful about it. She doesn’t want to hurt any of us. If we send Conroy and Hernandez to talk to her, she isn’t going to say anything at this point.”
“Great, if she’s not going to say anything, then send them,” he says, still not understanding the problem.
“I need to save them,” I tell him. “Right now I’m certain she wouldn’t tell on us, but if I send them to try talking to her now, I can’t make the same move later when she hates me and wants my blood.”
Now Dante scowls at me. “Why the fuck doesn’t she hate you? You said you had a plan.”
“I did. It… has gone slightly off track.” I feel Adrian’s gaze on me now and it makes me irritable. I’m not going to share Mia’s experience with me here in the study. It’s none of their fucking business. “It doesn’t matter,” I say, simply. “The point is, she’s not going to talk.”
“Bullshit,” Dante says, slamming a hand down on my desktop. “We don’t know this fucking girl. We don’t trust some little high school idiot because you’ve got a taste for her pussy. I could give a fuck less if you chew her up and spit her out, but we’re testing her first. Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? This is Beth all over again.”
“This is not Beth all over again,” I snap, more tersely than I intend. He’s speaking right to the heart of my own fears.
“Yes, it fucking is,” Dante argues. “Look, I’m not trying to be an asshole, I know she still rubs you raw, I get it. Trust me, I fucking get it. But you’ve already put this whole family in jeopardy once before with that stupid rat whore. No one blamed you then, it was a learning experience. But it’s not a mistake if you do it again. Then it’s a choice you’re making to put your dick before this fucking family. That’s not a choice that the head of the family can afford to make. You want to keep Vince’s girlfriend? Great, I don’t give a fuck. But hold up your end of the bargain first. You were supposed to make her hate you and you were supposed to send our guys to see if she would talk. Now you’re sitting here telling me she doesn’t hate you and you called off our fucking men? That’s fucking unacceptable.”
I stare at my brother, wanting to jump down his throat and tell him he’s way the fuck out of line.
The thing is, he’s right.
I do have a responsibility to my family, and I am making a foolish decision because I want to keep Mia. I didn’t mean to, it certainly wasn’t the plan, but instead of growing her hatred of me, I saw her softening and changed paths. I decided to keep her, and I started behaving accordingly. I’m the reason Mia isn’t going to talk, and I’m supposed to be the reason she will.
“That girl knows too much,” he states, his tone somewhat calmer since he can see I’m listening. “Beth didn’t know much, so she didn’t have much to say. That’s not true of this girl. She can single-handedly fuck every last one of us. I’ve never even met the fucking girl and she can ruin my life. We aren’t going down because you decided you like this girl. That’s not happening. If you can’t get the job done yourself, let me know and I’ll take it from here. I can make her hate me in the next 24 hours, I guarantee it.”
Now I have to resist the urge to glare at him. I keep my expression clear, but inject steel into my tone so there’s no question how serious I am. “No one touches Mia but me.”
“Then handle it. Because if you don’t handle it yourself, I’m taking this to Dad. You know, the actual boss of this fucking family.”
“You’re not taking shit to Matt,” Adrian states, jumping in now and standing, staring down Dante. “You don’t get to jump the fucking line. That’s not how this works.”
Dante spreads his hand, as if innocent. “We all listen to Mateo. But if it were to happen Mateo couldn’t take care of his fucking business, no one could blame anyone for acting on Dad’s orders. Something tells me his orders on how to handle the girl would be a lot less lenient.”
“Do not fucking threaten me,” I tell Dante. Now I glare at the asshole.
“Then handle your shit,” he says, enunciating each word slowly.
“He is handling his shit,” Adrian states. “I’m the only one the girl has any real dirt on. The leaked information was all fake, just to set her up. If I’m satisfied that she isn’t going to t
alk, then you should be. It’s my ass on the line, not yours.”
“Bullshit,” Dante says. “Vince was there. She can place Vince at the scene of that crime, not just you.” Now Dante pints his finger at me. “If he wants to fuck you, he’ll talk. And I don’t know or care what you’re doing to his girlfriend, but my sources say he wouldn’t pass up the chance to fuck you over right now.”
He’s got me there, too.
“This was your fucking plan, Mateo,” Dante says, meeting my gaze. It’s not the anger that fazes me, it’s the wavering trust I see flickering in his eyes. Dante and I don’t always see eye to eye on everything and I certainly don’t trust him, but he trusts me. Regardless of our differences in leadership style, he trusts me to take care of this family, to make choices that are respectful of the responsibility I have to them. I always have. Beth was my one fuck-up, the one time I trusted someone I shouldn’t have. I should’ve taken more steps to make sure Beth was trustworthy before I let her into our lives. I should have kept a better eye on her when I knew she wasn’t happy to ensure that, regardless of how she felt, she wouldn’t try to harm my family.
I failed them.
Now I’m doing it again. I’ve done this the wrong way. I didn’t know what I was working with—my plan would have been different if I had known Mia better when I made it. She took me off-guard these past few days and made me consider possibilities I haven’t in years. If I’d known her, I could have been braced for all her softness. I expected her to fight, to be angry, to resist. When she didn’t, I didn’t know how to react and I let us fall into… well, almost a relationship. She just asked to meet my daughter today, for fuck’s sake.
I finally nod, slowly. “You’re right. I went off-plan. I’ll fix it.”
Dante eases back, the tension easing out of his shoulders.
Meanwhile Adrian tenses up. “Mateo, no.”
I hold up a hand and cut him off. “No, he’s right, Adrian. The right thing to do is to test her. I can get her back to where I need her. It won’t be hard. I know most of her weak spots already. I know how to hurt her.”
“Come the fuck on,” Adrian says, losing his patience with me. “Haven’t you done enough to that poor girl?”
“It’s only for two more days,” I tell him. “I only need to make her hate me for two days, just long enough for them to talk to her. Then I’ll stop. Then I’ll tell her the truth. She’ll forgive me and we can pick this right back up. Dante’s right, though. The test needs to happen, and I need to follow my original plan.”
“That isn’t how people work,” Adrian advises me. “Whatever spark of feeling you think she might have for you, whatever you think you can build on? You’re going to kill it if you do this.”
I shake my head, dismissing his concern. “Not with her. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
Adrian pivots and walks away, shaking his head as he heads for the door. “Famous fucking last words.”
“Where are you going?”
His tone drips with disdain—I’m not sure if for me, or for himself. “To guard your fucking prey.”
---
Dinner is over and instead of looking forward to retiring for the night and going to spend time with Mia, I have to go with Alec. Once Dante left, I debated how far I needed to take this. I’ve done a great deal of damage, planted seeds of sympathy and understanding, watered them. I’ve been tender with her, let her get a glimpse of a less guarded side of me. I’ve let her too close for my original method to work. The night in the library she was just starting her mission to get to know me, but she didn’t have the kind of hard evidence she thinks she has now that I’m not a lost cause. It was enough to betray her that way when she didn’t know me—it was enough to invade her sense of privacy, fucking her in place of her boyfriend. It was enough to pull the rug out from under her and corner her in my bedroom. It was enough to force myself on her when she begged me not to.
I’m not sure it will be enough now. I’ve already started training her to expect brutal sex. She’s already training herself to be fine with it, to respond to it like she would the kind of sex she’s used to. I’m not sure I have the ability to rape her now; she’s more or less willing.
I can push the orgasm, though. And I will. I’m a little worried about the potential for shame to flood her, but if it does, I think I can fix it. It may not even happen. She’s started to accept that her body belongs to me now, not Vince, so it might be okay.
Might have been, anyway. There are certain lines even I won’t cross—I’m not going to hit her. That shit pisses me off, and given her willingness to accept shitty treatment, she might tolerate it and piss me off even further. No, I won’t do that. I don’t want to do anything that might damage her ability to feel for me permanently, but I do need to piss her off right now. I need to piss her off enough that she’ll rescind her consent, because that’s the only way I can violate her again and that’s something I know she can get past.
It’s all rather unpleasant. I’d rather not do any of it at this point, but it has to be done. I tell myself I’m not really wounding her, I’m only manipulating her.
It has to feel real to her, though.
I have to be a world-class asshole tonight and tomorrow, then Monday morning I’ll send the men to talk to her, and Sunday evening I’ll begin making it up to her. I’ll explain why I had to do all this to her—I may even drag out the Beth story, much as I hate to, because it will make her sympathetic to me. If I let her have a peek at the tattered heart she’s convinced exists in my chest cavity, she’ll be able to forgive not only my brutality, but the accompanying deception.
Alec sighs, shoving open the Escalade door. “This is a bad idea,” he informs me.
I ignore him, climbing out and walking ahead of him. “Every bad idea is a good idea under the right circumstances.”
“Not this one,” Alec disagrees. “You’re letting Dante get in your head but Dante’s an asshole.”
“So am I.”
“She’s going to hate you. This is a bad idea.”
“No, making her hate me is the idea. Don’t worry about it. Just lead me to the stripper with the strongest perfume.”
“Blonde, brunette, redhead?”
“I couldn’t give a fuck less,” I tell him. Then, on second thought, I add, “Not blonde.”
It makes my skin crawl walking into this place. Before Beth, I had no problem hanging out here the way Alec does. This is where I met Colette, Dante’s ex-girlfriend. Back then it seemed fun, the women seemed sexier. Now it all reeks of bullshit and desperation. Now it’s the same performance, night after night. Women who couldn’t give a fuck less gyrate against men who can’t get a fuck otherwise, money exchanges hands, everybody goes home as alone as they were when the day began.
Superficial bullshit, all of it.
A blonde woman steps into Alec’s path, eyeing me up. “Well, well, well, isn’t this a nice surprise. Two Morelli brothers here at once. To what do we owe the pleasure?”
“He needs a lap dance,” Alec states, jerking a thumb in my direction.
The blonde’s eyebrows rise and she looks me over with a little more interest. “Oh yeah?”
I don’t like the way she’s looking at me. “No blondes.”
“I can dye my hair,” she half-jokes.
“In the next ten minutes? That’s how long I’m going to be here.”
“And where are you going after?” she asks with an inviting smile.
“You’re wasting your time,” Alec tells her, putting a hand on her arm and gently pushing her out of the way. “He’s not here looking for a good time, he just has some fucked up plan.”
This is a waste of my time. I shoot Alec a look and he leads me past the blonde stripper and into a private room.
“Why don’t you just sit tight,” Alec suggests. “I’ll go grab a girl and bring her in.”
“Make it quick,” I tell him, taking a seat on the black leather seat.
He leaves m
e in the room and I sit here, feeling empty. Visions of Mia’s face when I return to our bed tonight spring up before my eyes. I hate even imagining, so I’m not looking forward to carrying it out. I am looking forward to holding her, but I don’t know if I’ll get to tonight. I think she ends up in my arms because deep down she knows she belongs there, but after tonight, after I paint an ugly picture for her, I don’t expect her to feel that way. I know it’s only for two days, I know I can fix it after I break it, but it’s going to be a rough two days.
A little less than two days, I suppose. By the time I go back to Mia, most of tonight will be gone and she’ll go to sleep. I only have one more day to get through, then I can switch gears. Then it will be like the peek I’ve had today. Her affection will be mine. We can build an actual relationship. I’ll still have to keep a firm hand on my feelings so they don’t get out of control, but I can have her. The confusion and blurred lines can be over. I can let her know she’s mine and I’m hers, and that’s it.
The emptiness subsides. That’s worth it. I only have to hurt her one more time, alienate her affection for a little over a day. That’s it. She’ll be relieved when she finds out it wasn’t real, that I didn’t mean any of it. We’ll move past it, like she’s tried to move past the rape.
The door opens and Alec comes in with a leggy redhead. Not a real redhead, but it doesn’t matter. She has green eyes and looks nothing like Mia, so she’ll suffice.
“Hey there, handsome.”
“We can skip all that,” I tell her, reaching into my suit jacket and drawing out a flask. I’m not a flask man at all, but I want to go home smelling of booze and whores, and I’m not about to drink what they serve here.
The redhead’s smile falters briefly. “Oh?”
Alec shakes his head, annoyed at my tactlessness. “You don’t have to work for this one. He’s not really here for the lap dance experience. He has a girl at home and he wants her to smell you on him.”
The redhead shrugs, like that’s not even the strangest thing she’s heard today. “Cool. So, an actual lap dance, or you just want me to rub up on you?” she asks, walking over toward me.