Sins & Mistrust

by Lucero, Isabel

  “Yeah, or he didn’t want you to hurt him.”

  He gives me a funny look but doesn’t respond to my comment. “Well, I got angry and told him you knew where I’d be and that he needed to stop acting like a jealous boyfriend, and not worry about who I was fucking because it wasn’t going to be him.”

  My eyes go wide. “What did he say?” I ask in a whisper before taking another sip.

  “He said I would be fucking him, and as we were pushed up against each other, he asked me to kiss him.”

  “He actually asked?” I ask, slightly surprised.

  “Well, he said kiss me and then he said please.”

  “Wow. So, I take it you did?”

  “Yeah. It was quite the angry, passionate kiss. Then I left.”

  “Oh my gosh, Marc!” I squeal. “He’s probably so pissed.”

  “He’ll be all right.”

  I laugh for a few minutes. “Well, he did only ask for a kiss.”

  Marc smiles at me and finishes his wine before placing the glass on the floor next to the tub.

  “Well, I’m kind of jealous,” I say, pouting my lips.

  Marc looks shocked. “If you don’t want me messing with him, I won’t. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  I smile at him. “I mean, I’m jealous in the sense that I wasn’t there to watch that whole thing go down. I want to watch you two together. I’m sure just watching you two talk to each other is sexy.”

  A look of relief crosses his face and then the corners of his mouth lift. “Are you sure you’re okay with all of…this?”

  “Marc,” I say, putting my glass down and moving towards him. “I’m really sure.” I climb into his lap and straddle him. Running my hands through his hair, I look into his eyes. “This is what I wanted, right? I’m just glad you aren’t judging me for wanting to be with two men. It works out better for me that the two men I’ve chosen for this like men as well. I’m dying to watch you two together. I’d pay for that alone,” I say with a giggle.

  “Okay,” he replies with a smile.

  After we finish in the tub, Marc gets out first, wraps a towel around his waist, and then brings another one to me. We climb into bed, and I fall asleep quickly. I didn’t want to, but after my long day and the wine, I have almost no control over my eyelids.

  I’m woken up around six in the morning by a banging sound. I sit up in the bed, but Nathalia is out cold. I hear it again, and crawl out of the bed to see where it’s coming from. Wearing only my lounge pants, I make my way out of the bedroom, closing the door behind me, and walk through the living area. I stand and wait for the noise to come again, and when it does, I realize it’s coming from the front door.

  Quickly, I walk to the door and yank it open before the noise wakes Nathalia. Once again, Lincoln has shown up unexpectedly at the door.

  “What are you doing? It’s six o’clock in the fucking morning.”

  “I know what time it is,” Lincoln grumbles, pushing his way in.

  I close the door and we don’t stray far from it. “Well?” I ask.

  Lincoln pushes me against the doorframe and attacks me. His tongue forces its way into my mouth, and his hands run across my chest and stomach. I respond to his kiss with the same—if not more—sexual fervor. I spin us around until I have him pushed up against the wall next to the door. His body hits it hard, the force causing one of the pictures to shake. His growl in response to the force turns me on even more. I can be as rough and forceful with him as I want without worry of hurting him. It only seems to fuel him more.

  My hands roam his body as my tongue explores his mouth. I pull his shirt over his head and throw it behind me. It must have hit something on the table, because I hear something fall to the floor. It’s still fairly dark in the room, but there’s enough light to make out his carved abs. Holy fuck, this guy is sexy. He has the V that dips below his pants, and I can’t wait to see what lies underneath them.

  “I couldn’t stay away from you any longer,” Lincoln rumbles. “You drive me fucking crazy, and you keep leaving me hard and horny.”

  He begins to slip his hand in my pants, but I grab him by the wrist and pin both arms to the wall.

  “I’m not fucking you right now,” I say in a voice above a whisper.

  “She doesn’t care,” Lincoln says, catching on to why I won’t.

  “I know, but she also hired me because she wants to be involved in what you and I do.”

  “She hired you, Marc. I did not. I want you and you want me, and it’s not because I paid to have you.”

  I loosen my grip on his wrists, and he breaks free, pulling my pants down easily. He steps closer to me, giving me a few quick kisses on my lips and chin before slowly dropping to his knees. I let out a long groan as I watch him.

  “Let me taste you, Marc. We don’t have to do anything else right now, but let me taste you.”

  I look down at him, his hands on the waistband of my boxer briefs. He’s waiting. Waiting for me to give the okay, and something about that makes me want him to do it even more.

  I throw my head back and run both hands through my hair. The conflicting thoughts are raining down on me again. Would I love to have Lincoln suck my dick? Yes. Do I want to be sure not to hurt Nathalia’s feelings? Yes. Are she and I in a relationship? No. She’s paying me to be with her. Fuck. It’s obvious to me that lines are blurring, because normally I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Why am I? Am I developing feelings for a client?

  “Marc,” Lincoln whispers, grabbing my attention. I look down into his hooded eyes. “Please.”

  There it is. That fucking word again. I push my boxer briefs down and take a hold of my cock.

  “Suck me, Lincoln.”

  He wastes no time and his warm mouth wraps around my cock. His hand takes place on my shaft and he strokes me as he twirls his tongue around my engorged head.

  “Fuck,” I hiss.

  Lincoln drops his hand from my shaft and takes as much of my dick into his mouth as he can. I grab the hair on the back of his head with one hand and lean forward and brace myself with my other hand on the wall. I start slowly thrusting into his mouth, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of his mouth around me.

  He begins stroking me with both hands, each one twisting in the opposite direction. His mouth covers the head of my dick, and I feel his saliva dripping down my shaft, making his strokes glide easier.

  “God, that feels so good,” I moan.

  He mumbles something unintelligible back, but I feel the vibrations around my cock when he groans. I notice him moving, and realize he’s pulling down his pants and boxer briefs. I watch as he grips his rigid length in his hand. It’s thick and looks so hard that I’m sure it’s painful.

  Lincoln doesn’t neglect my cock as he strokes himself, he takes me to the back of his throat, squeezing me from the base and bringing his hand to the tip. Watching him jerk off while my dick disappears in his mouth is my undoing. I grab his head with both hands and fuck his mouth with diligent force. His strokes on himself become quicker and his grunts and groans tell me he’s close, too.

  “Fuck, Linc. I’m about to come.”

  “Mmm,” is all I hear from him.

  I stop thrusting into his mouth and allow him to stroke and suck me until my body stills.

  “Fuck!” I exclaim, trying not to be too loud.

  I come into his mouth and down the back of his throat. My grip in his hair is tight, and I force myself to release him as I come down from the high of the orgasm. He audibly swallows and then licks me from tip to base and back up.

  He’s still steady pulling on his hard flesh, and I pull him to a standing position as I drop to me knees.

  “Come in my mouth,” I demand.

  “Shit,” he growls.

  After just a few strokes he puts his cock in my mouth and empties himself onto my tongue. I moan as I feel the saltiness hit my taste buds.

  “Goddammit,” he grunts, holding my head as he finishes coming.r />
  I swallow and then stand up, my hand dropping to his still firm dick and stroking lightly. I just wanted to be able to feel him in my hand. We connect at the mouth again, tasting ourselves as we share another passionate kiss.

  When we’re finally capable of pulling apart from each other, we get our clothes on and adjusted.

  “I needed that,” Lincoln says.

  “A release?”

  “Not just a release. I needed you.”

  “You needed my cock,” I say with a smirk.

  “Well, yeah,” he agrees with a small smile.

  There’s an awkwardness that cloaks the room. I don’t know if Lincoln feels uncomfortable or if it’s just me. To be honest, I’m not sure why I feel that way. Maybe it’s because I’m unsure of what’s happening with him and me. Are we only messing around with each other to get us ready for the threesome that Nathalia wants? Once the threesome is done, are we never going to see each other? Do I want that? Will that bring Nathalia and me closer? I’m not supposed to be starting meaningful relationships with clients. I’ve learned from that in the past. It never works.

  “I guess I’ll see you later?” he asks.

  “Yeah, sure. I guess I won’t be going back to sleep now,” I say.

  “I’m not even going to apologize for that,” he says with a small laugh. “Alright, well, see you later, then.”

  “Yeah, see you later,” I respond, following him the few short steps to the door.

  He turns and looks at me, but doesn’t say anything. I can tell he’s wondering if this is where we’re supposed to kiss good-bye. He’s probably just as confused as I am. I give him a grin that he returns before turning and walking down the hall.

  After closing the door, I lean my back against it, my head turned upwards towards the ceiling. A familiar question comes to mind.

  What am I doing?

  What am I going to do?

  Taking in a deep breath, I walk back into the bedroom, being careful not to make too much noise. When I step inside, I’m surprised to find an empty bed, but when I notice the bathroom light on, I figure she’ll be out soon. I climb into the bed and wait for her to return.

  “Oh hey,” she says when she enters the room a minute later.

  “Hey,” I say hesitantly, instantly nervous that she knows what happened out there.

  She eyes me speculatively with a hint of a smile on her lips. “What’s up with you?” she asks.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, trying for nonchalance.

  “You seem…tense.”

  “Oh, well, I’m not.”

  I feel like I need to tell her what happened. Even though I keep telling myself we’re not in a relationship, something about doing that behind her back feels wrong. I hate this feeling.

  “Well, you shouldn’t be, considering you were just with Lincoln,” she says, unperturbed.

  I stare at her, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

  She only smiles. “It’s okay, Marc.”

  I feel terrible. “Nathalia…” I start.

  She turns to face me. “Marc, I’ve already told you, it’s okay. I walked in and heard you telling him you wouldn’t sleep with him. I also heard him say that I’m paying for your company, and he’s not. That’s true. I don’t want to keep you two from being together if you truly have a connection.”

  I think I hear a hint of sadness in her voice.

  “Nathalia, this is hard for me. Yes, you’re hiring me to spend time with you, but these past few weeks that I’ve known you have been great. I truly enjoy talking to you and hanging out with you. The sex is the icing on the cake, but don’t think I don’t have a connection with you.

  “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel something for Lincoln, but I don’t know him as well. We have an intense sexual attraction, and it’s something that I haven’t had in a long time with a man. It’s hard because I feel bad taking money from you when I want to be with you, but at the same time, I know the rules. I can’t develop relationships with clients.”

  “I don’t know what to say, Marc. This is my fault. I kept hiring you for overnights, and now trips, and introduced you to Lincoln. I put you in an uncomfortable situation.”

  “That’s not true, Nathalia. I developed some sort of feelings for you because you’re a great person and I genuinely like you. We click. Yeah?” She nods. “It’s not because you hire me for long periods of time. I’ve been hired for weekends by other clients and never felt anything at all for them. At the same time, I know you and Lincoln have a special relationship, and I don’t want to mess that up.”

  “You don’t think...No, never mind,” she says, shaking her head.

  “What?”

  “What if I didn’t hire you anymore? What if we tried being together…with Lincoln?”

  The air in my lungs rush out. “Uh.” I run a hand over my face. “I don’t know.”

  The dejected look on her face makes me feel terrible.

  “I understand. Never mind.”

  “No, wait. Let me explain,” I say. “I don’t know Lincoln as well as you do. I barely know him at all, except the fact that I like the way he looks. So, jumping into a relationship with him and with you is a bit…unnerving. Plus, I’m still an escort, and jealousy is a big possibility once feelings start coming into play.”

  “I really do understand, Marc. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

  I sigh and pull her in for a hug. “It’s okay, but I think I may need some time to think about some things. Is that okay?”

  She nods into my chest. “If you and Lincoln need to spend time together, alone, don’t think you can’t. If you find that you do like him like I do, we may be able to figure this thing out. Lincoln and I have a relationship without sex, and you two seem to be capable of the sex but no relationship. For now. Maybe we’ll find a balance in there somewhere.”

  “Maybe,” I say, not truly knowing.

  We spend the morning together, and then I leave for Las Vegas. I tell her she’ll get her money back for this trip, but I plan on reimbursing her for every appointment she’s hired me for. With the promise of not staying out of touch for too long, I leave without seeing Lincoln and look forward to being back home. I call Liz on the way and tell her that I’ll still attend her daughter’s wedding, but that I may take a break with escorting for a few weeks.

  I definitely need some time to myself.

  Maybe even time to go visit my family.

  “What do you mean he left? I thought he was staying until this weekend?” Lincoln roars.

  “Yeah well, he left early. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “What happened?” he asks, his voice softening as he takes in my sad demeanor.

  I explain what I told Marc, and how I probably scared him off with all the relationship talk. I don’t know why I said that. I hadn’t even discussed that with Lincoln. I feel like an idiot.

  Lincoln seems surprised by what I said, too. “Do you really think a relationship could work between us?”

  “I don’t know, Linc. It probably wouldn’t.”

  “Do you like him?”

  “He’s great, Linc. Like, really, really great.”

  He gives me a knowing smile. “I like him, too.”

  “He just needs time to think things through.”

  Lincoln pulls me into him and we sit in the center of the couch. He strokes my hair and I look up at him. Our eyes connect and the chemistry that usually stays hidden beneath the surface boils over. We lean in at the same time and our mouths meet. His soft lips caress mine and he lifts me to his lap, my legs falling on either side of his thighs. I grind onto him as he pulls me closer, massaging my tongue with his.

  I pull at his shirt, but his hands clasp around my wrists. Leaning back I give him an annoyed look.

  “Lincoln, why can’t you fuck me? You’re obviously turned on,” I say, as I grind over his hardening dick. “You have no problem fucking men without a woman around.”

  “Thalia,�
� he growls in warning.

  “No, really. I mean, you’re okay with me being alone with Marc. I’m okay with you two being together without me, I’m assuming Marc is okay with us being together, but that won’t happen anyway, because you have some weird rule. If this doesn’t work with us three, it’s because of you! You and I can’t take our relationship to the next level alone, and that’s just strange. We have chemistry. We’ve had it for years.”

  “Are you done?” he asks, amused by my rant.

  “Yes,” I huff.

  “This is serious, Thalia. I’ve never told anyone this story, and I hope it helps better your understanding.”

  “Okay,” I say, sliding off his lap and folding my legs underneath me while I face him.

  He scoots back and runs a hand over his face. With a deep exhale, he begins.

  “Several years ago I was in two separate relationships. One with a man and one with a woman. They both knew about each other, but because they weren’t into threesomes, we never were together at the same time. Well, with the man, we had this physical, passionate relationship. We enjoyed being rough with each other, and it was okay, because we could both handle it. We didn’t necessarily have a loving, emotional connection, but we really enjoyed having sex with each other. We were spontaneous, kinky, and lascivious.

  “With the woman, it was quite the opposite. She was gorgeous. Long blonde hair, hour glass figure, and the classiest lady I’ve met. No offense,” he says with a smirk. I roll my eyes and gesture for him to continue. “Anyway, sex with her was softer, sensual, and slow. She wanted me to make love to her, and worship her body. Which, hey, I’m all good with. She had a great body to worship. One night though, Ian and I had gotten into a fight while we were out drinking. He pissed me off and then took off, and so I went to Madison’s house.

  “She didn’t mind that I had shown up late at night and piss drunk. In hindsight, she may not have known how drunk I was. Anyway, she brings me to the bedroom and strips me of my clothes, complaining that they stunk of Ian’s cigarettes. She starts kissing me and doing all the things that scream, I want sex.