by J. H. Croix
The corner of Sonny's mouth kicked up into a knowing smirk. "You really like her, don't you?"
Tearing off another bite of pizza, I shrugged. I wasn't ready to think too deeply about it. I liked Sadie. I'd made that admission to myself weeks ago. Anything more than that though… "I'm protective of her, is all."
My brother chuckled, shaking his head. "You’ll come around, big brother. Not so long ago, I was telling myself exactly the same thing about Niki and look where we are now. She’s everything to me.”
“Yeah.” I knew how Sonny and Niki started out, but that didn’t mean it would end the same way for me and Sadie. I’d only met her a few weeks ago.
Sonny’s knowing smirk pissed me off. Growing up surrounded on all sides by brothers, well, it was safe to say it could grate on me to have opinions thrown at me. My brothers weren’t shy about that. Inhaling a deep breath to keep myself from telling him to fuck off, I changed the topic and told him about Ken making advances on Sadie. "I was already worried about her because she works for a creep like that. I wouldn't read too deeply into my protectiveness if I were you. No woman should be treated that way."
Sonny's eyes narrowed. Women getting picked on, intimidated, or mistreated in any way was a trigger point for us all. Our father might’ve turned out to be a criminal, but he and our mother raised us with a rock-solid value system. He had never treated our mother with anything other than respect and insisted on the same from all of us toward women.
"It's better that she’s talking to us about it then. This way, I can take steps to protect her at work. We'll keep her safe, bro. I know what it feels like to have this kind of skin in the game. I promise we’ll do everything in our power to make sure that asshole doesn't get anywhere close to her."
“He’d better not,” I grumbled, a restless feeling rising inside to consider what he might try to pull. “I won’t be held responsible for my actions if he does anything to her.”
Sonny nodded, his gaze understanding. “I’ll be standing right there next to you if he does, but it won’t come to that. We won’t let it.”
“Damn straight, we won’t.” The knot of tension inside me eased some knowing Sonny felt as seriously as I did about keeping Sadie safe at work. While I might’ve argued the point that I would be protective of any woman in this situation, the depth of my protectiveness toward Sadie ran deep. I’d do whatever was necessary to protect her.
Sonny left after lunch, assuring me again that Sadie would be safe and wishing me good luck for the rest of the day. I finished the design I’d started before lunch and sent it through to the client for approval before going back out to the workshop floor to check on the repairs.
I was distracted, though. My body was moving on autopilot as I made my rounds, my mind spinning its wheels about Sadie and what she was getting herself into.
Since she was helping the police department with a case, there were some strings Sonny could pull to keep his promise of keeping her safe, but it didn't feel like enough. It didn't feel right to leave her to her own devices with this and have Sonny arrange for protection. I needed to be there to protect her. Me.
Logically, I knew the police were trained professionals, but I wasn't going to rest easy if I wasn't involved. And the more I thought about that, the more I realized Sadie meant more to me than I had expected.
Somewhere between her bringing in her car for repairs and her volunteering to take down a thug, she’d slipped right through my defenses. She mattered. A lot. Knowing that I cared about her more than I previously thought made me edgy.
What the fuck do I think about that?
Chapter Two
Sadie
“Em! We’re going to be late, honey. Let’s go, let’s go!” I fastened the top of Emery’s lunch box and grabbed it, snagging my skirt on the kitchen counter as I rushed around it to find her backpack. “Crap.”
Yanking the fabric free, I went in search of Emery. She was suspiciously quiet for someone who was going to be late for school if we didn’t get a move on. “Emery!”
“I’m coming, Mom,” she called, yawning as she met me by our front door. I knew how she felt. I was exhausted, too, especially after the week I’d had.
Working two jobs was never easy, but the owner at the diner where I worked who usually wasn’t there had been present and accounted for all week, breathing down our necks. Tensions were running high as people wondered why he’d taken to showing up every day. Having him there hovering all the time was tiring.
At my cleaning job, my nerves were frayed. I’d volunteered to help the Lovetts gather information about my dubious employers, some of whom were evidently involved in the extortion case against Roy Lovett. The knots in my shoulders had knots after this week. I couldn’t wait to escape from it all for a couple of days over the weekend. I didn’t regret offering my help, but I hadn’t realized how stressful it would be, especially since my other job was already piling on the pressure too.
I was beat. Another forty hours of sleep and a vacation might’ve done the trick, but neither of those was an option for me. I would have to make do with the weekend. At least that was only a couple more hours away.
I handed Emery her backpack. She sighed when she took it, dragging it on the floor behind her as we headed out the door.
“Em, do you remember how we talked about looking after our stuff?” I nodded my head down at the backpack.
Frowning up at me, she lifted the bag and slung it over her shoulder. “Happy?”
With an aggrieved sigh, she stomped off to the car. At only six, she was disturbingly like a sixteen-year-old when she was being fussy. “Manners, young lady!”
“Yes, Mom,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. Neither of us had slept well last night. Emery was usually a sweet kid, but like everyone else, she got testy if she didn’t get enough sleep.
Clouds drifted lazily through the sky, parting to let through a few early rays of sunshine. Emery stared up when I got her into her seat in the car and kept her eyes on the sky until we were about halfway to her school.
Out of the blue, she sat forward in her booster seat and poked me in the shoulder. “Why is it just the two of us?”
I frowned, flicking my eyes to hers in the rearview mirror before training them on the road again. “What do you mean?”
Tears glistened in her eyes suddenly, her lower lip trembling. “Why don’t I have a dad?”
My entire body went cold. I tightened my fingers around the wheel. It wasn’t the first time Emery had asked about her father, and it wouldn’t be the last. Every time it came up, it was always hard.
It was too early to tell her what happened with her father, although I had no idea how old a child had to be before it was acceptable to tell them they were the product of a one-night stand.
I had tried getting in contact with her father when I found out I was pregnant, but I doubted he even remembered our night together. He laughed in my face when I told him and then made it clear that he didn’t believe me. By then, I’d already decided I was going to have the baby. His reaction only cemented my suspicion that I was going to have to do it by myself.
For her sake, I tried getting in touch again a number of times over the years, but the number I had was no longer any good. He never returned a single call even when I searched for him online. Looking at the sadness and confusion in her eyes, I bit back a sigh. I didn’t know what else to do, other than to try again to track him down. Despite every attempt before failing. I had been a young, confused mother when I had her, terrified about what was waiting for me and trying to figure out how I was going to have and raise a child with no support.
It wasn’t that I regretted not raising her with him or that I wanted a relationship with him. I was sad Emery didn’t have a father in her life. Days like today only made it worse. I doubted he would be interested, but yet again, I could try to track him down. The problem was I was also petrified he would try to take her from me. I knew that was a risk. I’d heard stories of wo
men who lost their children to their fathers even though the guy hadn’t wanted anything to do with the pregnancy or the child at first.
When she got older, I planned on talking to Emery about it. I would give her all the details I had about her dad, and I would help her track him down if that was what she wanted. If we found him, and he still refused to be part of her life, I would be there to help her pick up the pieces. I only wanted what was best for her.
The other factor that had kept me from looking up Emery’s father, and perhaps a main underlying motivation, was my traumatic history with my own dad. I would do anything to protect her from going through the same things I’d gone through. I knew I was projecting my own issues with the man who fathered me onto Emery, but in my experience, having a father around wasn’t always a good thing.
In my case, it’d been a nightmare. No one deserved the childhood I had, and I wasn’t about to risk exposing Emery to it. When her father refused to talk to me and downright rejected what I told him, it served as a blunt warning for what could go wrong. I’d lived through what happened when a child was unwanted or conceived under tumultuous circumstances. I never, ever wanted Emery to know what that was like.
I gripped the steering wheel and did my best not to lie to Emery. Even if she was too young to hear the truth, I didn’t want to lie to her about her dad. “You do have a dad, Em. He’s just not around.”
“Is he angry with us? Is that why he isn’t around?” Her voice quivered. “Why is he angry with us?”
Fuck. I wished I had better answers to these questions. “He’s not angry with us. He just, he’s… It’s complicated, Em. You didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did I. It just worked out this way.”
She stuck her bottom lip out and inhaled a staggered breath. Crossing her arms, she looked back up at the sky, clearly not happy about my answers. I wasn’t either. One day, I would give her the answers she wanted. But not today.
Emery’s need for a father was something I would have to keep in mind, though. The dad topic was coming up more frequently now that she was getting older. There were lots of kids at her school being raised by single parents, but it seemed like all Emery saw were those with a traditional family unit. I didn’t blame her. It was natural to want to know why she didn’t have a father in her life when so many of the other kids did. I’d talked to a therapist about it once.
When she made a paper doll of Evan a couple of weeks ago, I’d gotten worried. A man coming into our lives when I wasn’t sure what we meant to him, if we meant anything to him, was dangerous.
It wasn’t only my heart on the line. Emery would be devastated if another man didn’t stick around for her. As much as I liked him and as much as I knew Emery did, I wondered how serious he was about me. About us. If he wasn’t serious, I was opening us both up to pain and loss.
Then there was the situation with his father. It didn’t scare me too much for some reason. I had gone through hell with my own father. Snooping at the law firm didn’t seem too risky in comparison. Plus, if it was going to help bring that vile man to justice, then I would do it.
It felt right to be helping Sonny and Evan. I wanted to do what I could to get them the information they needed. When I saw all those papers in that lawyer’s office and the amounts in the bank accounts on them, I knew those men were trouble.
I wasn’t a martyr or a hero or anything. I just knew I could easily access the information and pass it along. I’d even seen some information that could have helped them before. It was all right there, and all I had to do was get it.
It was the right thing to do. For everybody involved.
Emery and I arrived at school right on time. I was unbuckling her seat when I saw Evan dropping off a little boy. My heart started pounding. My palms got sweaty. Whose child was that?
It was only when I took a closer look that I realized it wasn’t Evan. It had to be Jeremy, his younger brother. I breathed out a sigh of relief. I was used to having to be on my own, used to people disappointing me. If Evan had been yet another of those in a long line of them, I would’ve been heartbroken.
It weighed on me to realize my heart was already on the line, but it wasn’t like I could change it. I was already in deep. I was going to have to be careful like I’d promised Lori I would be.
Jeremy crouched in front of the boy and gave him a high five. The boy laughed and leaned in to give Jeremy a one-armed hug. The affection between them was clear.
Emery, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling so generous today. With a lackluster hug, she took off through the gate. She only paused once to wave to me once she was inside the school grounds. “Bye, Mom.”
I waved back, but before I could say anything, she disappeared in a crowd of other kids. From the corner of my eye, I saw Jeremy return a similar wave. When the little boy was gone, too, Jeremy jogged to his truck and took off.
He hadn’t seen me, but even if he had, it wasn’t like he knew who I was. I knew what the Lovetts looked like. It was remarkable how much the brothers looked alike at a glance. They were a well-known family. In Jeremy’s case, there were a lot of similarities between him and Evan. I recalled Evan mentioning Jeremy was engaged to a woman who was also a single mom. I guessed it must’ve been her son he was dropping off.
Seeing his brief interaction—the comfort and warmth in it—with her son made me wistful. It gave me hope. Another dangerous emotion, but it was also already there. Maybe Evan could feel the same way about Emery? By extension, perhaps he could care enough about me to want that?
I reflexively shied away from the thought. Hope, especially about the idea of romance, had been so far off my radar, the feeling was unfamiliar. I knew Evan had good intentions. He’d proven that again and again. Intentions, however, weren’t always enough.
I would have to keep that in mind too. I didn’t know what Evan was looking for out of a relationship, if he even wanted a relationship, but an instant family might not be it. I was going to have to be very careful, for both my sake and Emery’s.
Chapter Three
Evan
“See you Monday, boss.” Phoenix waved as he crossed the parking lot after we closed the shop for the day. I lifted my hand and returned his wave, double-checking the bolt on the door. The shop was closed for the weekend, and frankly, I was ready for the time off.
If this week had a name, it was hectic. I was glad for the time off myself and for my crew. Next week was equally as nuts based on our current schedule. That didn’t even account for all the unexpected emergencies that would be thrown our way.
I jiggled the lock on the outer workshop door, making sure it clicked into place before moving on to the next one. As I rounded the building, my mind drifted to back to Sadie.
Sadie’s work schedule had been as packed as mine if not more so. We’d spoken a few times during the week, but I hadn’t seen her in days. I was discovering I didn’t enjoy her absence.
She occupied some serious real estate in my brain. We hadn’t made any plans for the weekend, but a quick phone call after work tonight wasn’t going to satisfy my need to see her.
After confirming the shop was locked up at all points of entry, I crossed the lot to my truck. The second the door slammed shut, I decided to text Sadie.
Slipping my phone from the back pocket of my jeans, I tapped out a message to her. Her reply came only a few seconds later.
Working at the diner. Finishing up my shift in about an hour.
The sun was already starting to slide down the horizon. I watched the glowing orange ball as I sat in my truck, deciding what to do. Sadie’d had a tough week. I didn’t want to add to that by asking her to call me when she was done or if she wanted to have dinner later.
We were still getting to know each other, but my guess was she was going to want to kick up her feet and spend some time with Emery. If I wanted to see her, which I definitely did, I needed to respect that.
Leaning my head back on my seat, I bounced my knee restlessly. I wanted to see he
r, and I didn’t want to wait. The whole week without her had been long enough. I was going to have a find middle ground again, something that would help her relax while we still got to spend some time together. There was only one way to do that.
Before I could think it through, I was putting my truck into gear and heading in the direction of the diner. If she told me to get lost or gave me any sign she would rather not have me there, I would leave. No questions asked. For now, though, I’d surprise her.
The early dinner crowd was filtering in when I arrived. Families with young children congregated in the back near a play area outside. A couple of diners sat alone, hats pulled low over their foreheads or staring off into space.
Nineties music played over crackling speakers. I found a booth in the section where Sadie had served me last time and studied the menu while waiting for her.
She pushed through the double doors from the kitchen not a minute later, balancing an overloaded tray in both hands. My heart clenched when I saw her. She was pale with slightly smudged makeup at the corners of her eyes and faint bluish rings beneath them. Her hair was pulled back, but a few tendrils had escaped to frame her face.
Stressed and obviously beat after the week, I still thought she was damn beautiful. Just seeing her made my heart give a swift kick.
As she made her rounds, I noticed how she smiled despite her exhaustion. After she dropped off the food and drinks on her tray, she made conversation with her customers and giggled with their children.
It was only between her tables I saw the exhaustion dragging her down, but by the time she reached the next table, she would have a smile ready for her customer again. I had to give it to her. My attitude wasn’t as friendly, not when I was worn-out. I’d been ready to start snapping at people before I left work.
After checking on another table and with her tray now empty, she turned back toward the kitchen. She was midturn when she saw me. Her surprise quickly turned into a wide smile as she wound her way through the tables to get to me. “Evan, what are you doing here?”