"I'm pretty sure a hairbrush on a warm bottom isn't much nicer. I need more loves."
Jeoff hugged her tightly against him and patiently waited for her to push him away. "Feel better now?"
"Not much." Her lower lip offered a pretty pout.
"Really? How about now?" He opened the stall door and stepped inside, pulling her with him.
Piper lifted her hands to her mouth, unable to contain her joy. Before her stood a chestnut Shetland pony with a blond mane and tail, munching happily on some stray alfalfa. He lifted his head and snorted.
"Y-you didn't … how …" Piper stood frozen in her spot, unable to comprehend the situation.
"That night you were … inebriated," Jeoff stroked the animal between the ears, "you said you wanted a chestnut Shetland pony that you would name Tony. I could not resist."
"Jeoff, this is too much …."
"That is for me to decide . Go say hello."
Piper stroked the little animal in awe, her mind reeling. She looked over at Jeoff's smiling face. "Okay, what's the catch?"
His smile dropped. "Catch? There is no catch. I got him for you because I wanted to."
"Everyone has an agenda, Jeoff. You have no reason to do all this for me. I don't get it." She pulled away from the little horse and crossed her arms.
Jeoff drew in a breath. "Not everyone in this world is out to get something, Pip."
"Sure they are. Nobody is this good to me without a reason. You can't buy my submission." Piper felt a surge of unexpected anger well inside of her. "What the fuck do you really want from me? I offered you my body and you refused." Her voice rose in the stillness of the morning. "What do you want? No one can be this nice to me without wanting something in return. No one!"
Jeoff frowned as Piper burst into tears and sunk to the hay beneath her feet. He sat down next to her and pulled her resistant body against his chest. "My poor, sweet-P …. Baby girl, I am so sorry. I didn't realize how broken you really are. Shhh, go ahead and cry. You are safe here with me. Let it out, baby."
"It's not fair," Piper sobbed, lost in her despair. "For years I tried to do what everyone wanted. I tried to be perfect, unobtrusive, meek and docile. It got me nowhere, except more hurt and rejection. And here you are, wanting me to play the game all over again, and I can't! I just can't! Never again! How dare you take a childhood fantasy and use it against me?!"
"I'm not your ex, honey. I'm not your parent or anyone else who has mistreated you. Look at me. Please," he held her chin firmly in the cup of his hand and forced her to face him. "Give me a chance to show you that there are decent people left in this world and that submission is not something destructive or degrading. You are free to leave at any time if you feel I am truly acting on my own accord and have no concern for you. You are not committed to me in any way. I swear."
"It makes no sense."
"It doesn't have to make sense. It just … is. There is an apple in the backpack. Go play with your little pony and think about what I said, okay? I'll be outside if you need me."
Jeoff kissed her lips softly and left her alone with the gentle animal and her frenzied, fear-filled thoughts. Piper wiped the back of her hand across her face, leaving a streak of dirt in its wake. How could anyone be this kind and attentive to her? All her life she had felt unworthy. Her family criticized everything she attempted, and even her accomplishments, if noticed, were undermined by those achieved by a sister or a family friend. Lyle had been her first—her only—boyfriend, and she had agreed to marry him because her mother said she would never have anything to offer someone better. She could not recall the last time she believed that she had any value and worth inside of her. Somewhere.
Wrapping her arms around the horse's warm neck, Piper rubbed her face against his soft muzzle. She had spent the last ten years trying to please a person who was incapable of being happy and who had dragged her into the mire of gloom that defined his life. He had bullied her into compliance, forced his will upon her, and seized every opportunity to degrade and humiliate her in front of her family and the few friends she was allowed to keep. She had stayed with him because she thought she could 'fix' him by appeasing his demands, but that only fertilized the ground for more abuse and left her completely trapped. Piper closed her eyes-mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. There was nothing left inside of her to give to anyone, not even Jeoff.
Jeoff. What was he asking from her? On the surface, it seemed to be so little, yet she was cognizant enough to recognize that this thing, her heart's submission, was the most valuable gift she could freely give. That was what he desired above all things. Not her love, devotion, or her body. He wanted her submission and her absolute trust. Piper creased her brow as she saw the difference in how the word 'submission' was perceived. Lyle only understood the 'vanilla' submission, which meant she was to cower in fear as he demanded perfection, servitude, and silence. Jeoff desired the opposite, the relinquishing of her foolish pride by simply letting go and ceasing fighting her own nature. He had sensed that, in the hidden corner of her soul, she had an unexplainable need to abandon control to someone stronger than herself.
Jeoff was stronger than she was; that was certain. Was he strong enough to see through the depth of her brokenness and still care for her? The words concerning Age Play trotted through her head. He had explained that in the community, there were two types of TPE, or total power exchange. The most commonly known one was Master/Slave where the focus was upon the dominant and his wants, needs and desires. The other, this AP, was the opposite, and the dominant focused upon his submissive's wants, needs and desires. Piper understood that any depth of submission to him would mean letting go of both her recent hurts and the hurts of her past. Could he really help her stop the plunge she had taken into self-doubt? Jeoff and his explanation of the benefits of this lifestyle sounded much too good to be real.
Piper ran her hand down the pony's neck and let him lick the palm of her hand. He was so gentle and innocent, accepting this stranger into his little stall and showing nothing but affection. Why couldn't she be like him? Her thoughts went to the wolves, and how Jeoff explained that she was a juvenile … a mere puppy. The pony nuzzled her arm, seeking more apples.
Piper made her decision. "Jeoff?"
"Yeah, doll?"
"I'm sorry. I am going to do this. I want to see it through; I want to know what I am capable of being, beyond what I am now. Will you take me there?"
Jeoff studied her eyes, his broad thumb stroking the side of her chin. "It will be difficult."
"I know."
"You won't always like me."
"I anticipate that. I'm not liking you very much right now because it feels like you can see right through me."
"I understand. Piper? Do you trust me?"
"Yes. With all my heart."
"Will you accept this gift then?" Jeoff asked as Piper buried her head in his chest.
"Only if you accept mine. I am giving you my submission as best as I know how."
"Thank you, baby. I will cherish it. You will learn to how to surrender fully in time. I will teach you."
"I know you will. Jeoff? Am I in trouble for swearing again?"
"That is up to you, darling. Should you be?" His face twitched as he hid a smile.
Piper wrinkled her nose. "No … maybe … I don't know. I wasn't exactly thinking out what I was saying. I was little distraught."
"Think about it. You know what I will want you to do if you decide the answer is yes. Let's get you settled in the office. Mr. Howard will be here shortly."
***
Piper hummed to herself as she sorted through the riding assignments and organized the calendar. Howard Stener, the eighty-year-old owner of Angel Fire Stables, offered her a toothless grin from across the room.
"I'm so glad Jeoffrey found me a smart little filly to help out 'round here," the old man said with a drawl. "Been havin' all sorts of trouble trying to keep track of boarders, shows, tack rental. The old trans
istors just ain't flashing like they used to."
"I'll get this straightened up in no time, Mr. Howard. Thank you for giving me this chance."
"That was quite the pretty lil' pony he got you. He must have a soft spot for you, girl."
"I guess," Piper said shyly.
"Yep," Mr. Howard leaned back. "He's been on the lookout for that pony over a week now. Driving me insane with his constant prattling that he met himself a special young lady that needed a special little steed. Yup, that Jeoffrey is a good boy, always has been. Except for that summer…"
"Have you known Jeoff a long time?" Piper asked, interrupting the shuffling gait down memory lane.
"Yup. I've known that boy since the day he fell in his first pile of manure. Was maybe five," the old man chuckled. "That was the first pile of many. I swear, that young'un was the most accident-prone kid I've ever laid eyes on."
"That hasn't changed," Piper chuckled. "I think his brain is too high in the air to tell his feet what to do."
"He wasn't always that big," Mr. Howard said. "For a long time, he was the runt of the litter. Got teased and beaten up by boys and girls alike because of his size. Plus he was a bit on the pudgy side. The razzing was even worse, though, if they caught him singing to himself."
"How mean! Why would they tease him?"
"Dunno, but it was enough to scare him away from his first love. He wanted to be a famous musician."
"Kids can be cruel, that's for sure. I'm glad he didn't stop his music."
"What do you mean, girl?" Mr. Howard leaned forward, suddenly very focused.
"He played the guitar and sang to me last night. He did it to help me sleep after a really bad day."
"Does he still have his old Taylor guitar?" Mr. Howard's voice was shaky. Piper nodded.
"His mama gave that to him a couple of months before she passed on. He stopped playing after that."
Piper lifted her head in confusion. "I thought his folks moved south."
"Betty be his stepmother. She never took a likin' to the boy. She used to …"
"My ears are burning. Are you gossiping, old man?" Jeoff asked, as he stepped into the office.
"Just enjoying some pretty company for once. Nuthin' more," Mr. Howard said, shooting a warning look in Piper's direction. He lifted his finger to his lips as Jeoff went to where Piper sat.
"I don't believe you. Are you ready to go, Pip? It's five, and I am starving."
"It that a romantic way to ask a lady to dinner?" Piper scolded, raising her eyebrow as Jeoff grinned in response. "Let me go say goodbye to Tony, and I'll meet you out front."
Piper kissed the velvety nose of the little horse and promised him another apple in the morning. She reflected on what the old man had said, her understanding of Jeoff's character growing. Jeoff kissed her cheek as he lifted her into the truck and leaned across to buckle her seatbelt.
"Did you enjoy your work?" he asked, flipping on the heater.
"Very much. Thanks for picking me up. And thank you for Tony. He's adorable."
"I am making you a cart for him. I'm also going to build a corral near the house so you can take him on the trails. Don't look so scared, I am not going to force you to come live with me."
"These are just big things you are doing. And expensive. I can't justify it."
"How about this? I signed you up with Portland Elementary School and Teacher's Guild Christmas Festival and volunteered you to drive the kids around in a Christmas cart. We'll put reindeer horns on Tony and jingle bells on his harnesses. They always make me dress like Santa and the women sit on my lap and whisper lots of crude gift suggestions in my ears along with times they are available to help open their presents. You can be there to save me from being mauled by the single ladies this year. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
"Loads," Piper groaned. "Do I get to drink eggnog?"
"Sure. But no alcohol."
"No fun. You need to sweeten this pot if you want me to rescue the most powerful warrior in the land from these wicked witches with magical sex spells."
"I have a few weeks to think of something to bribe you with. Chinese?"
"Sounds great."
Chapter 7
"Jeoff? Can I ask you a question?"
"Anything, baby."
Piper looked at him, hesitating. Her curiosity had increased regarding his introduction and training in the lifestyle, as well as the disturbing news about Jeoff's mother, music, and ex-lover.
"Could we get another order of Crab Rangoon? Please?"
Jeoff nodded but raised his brow. "Of course, but that isn't what you wanted to ask me. Go on."
"It's not important. Just nosiness."
"I'll make a deal with you," Jeoff began, ignoring her groan.
"Of course you will." Piper was becoming more suspicious every time he made that statement. "You always seemed to know I am willing to pay a pretty high price to appease my curiosity."
"I'm good, aren't I?" he snickered.
"Yeah, and really humble about it."
"What can I say? Here is my deal. Allow me to session with you tonight and I will answer any question you have, as long as it doesn't have anything to do with plans to kill your ex."
"A session? Like punishing me? What did I do? I'm sorry!!"
"Chill, P. You haven't done anything. Sessions are not just for punishment; they are also for pleasure. Put the wine down and hear me out. A non-disciplinary session will allow me to introduce the different implements and techniques to you, and also helps me judge your tolerance."
"Tolerance? To what?"
"Well, pain. I will use each implement on you and have you give me feedback on how it feels to you, scale the level of pain, and determine which instruments are best for punishment, and which are best for pleasure. I think it will also help you trust me a little more and remove some fear of the unknown."
"I don't know…."
"In a non-disciplinary session," Jeoff leaned back in his chair, "I offer the submissive full control. It is about her pleasure and needs. You call the stops and direct me as you want. I need to learn your body language so that I can be effective with you, and sessioning is one technique I like to use."
"How badly will it hurt?" Piper frowned, ignoring the thrill of excitement tickling between her legs. Oh My God, I am getting SO turned on here! She cleared her throat, afraid of verbalizing those thoughts. "I don't want to cry, like I did before."
"That is up to you, honey. Well? Do you want to give it a try?"
Piper lifted her wine glass and stared at the contents. She poured the remainder in her mouth and swallowed hard. "Sure. Why the fuck not? I might as well take the plunge, huh?"
Jeoff shook his head. "After you are spanked for swearing again. Do I need to start soaping your mouth to get you to remember my rules?"
Piper paled, biting her lip. "Sorry, Daddy. I forgot."
"Daddy? Did you think that cutesy comment and the pouty lip is going to make me change my mind?"
"I hoped so. It didn't hurt to try, did it?"
"Not at all. I admire your ongoing attempts. They just don't work with me. Now, what question did you have?"
"Do I have to ask now, or can we wait?"
"Up to you. Are you finished? You hardly ate anything of substance, except those crab dumpling things."
"I have five pounds left to lose, and your constant feeding me isn't helping. I haven't gone to the gym every day, either, thanks to you. I miss it."
"I have a full home gym in the basement that you are welcome to use anytime you want. I do want you to cut back on those Red Bulls. I saw three empty cans on the desk at the stable. Where did those come from?"
"I asked Mr. Howard to pick them up for me when he went out to get lunch. I like them. They keep me alert and focused, and …"
"That is too much. You may have one in the afternoon, if you feel you need it to finish the day. No more."
"But Jeoff …"
"Stop whining, young lady. There are going to b
e some changes happening, and you might as well get used to the idea."
Piper crossed her arms sourly and glared at him. "That's not fair!"
"The subby mantra …. It isn't about fairness, P. It's about your health and learning to be obedient to my orders."
"Let me have two, then. I need …"
"I am not negotiating with you. One, or nothing."
"You are so mean!" Piper stomped her foot under the table. "I swear, if I get cranky because of withdrawal, you are to blame."
"Of course I am," he chuckled, standing. "Let's get going. It's starting to snow again, and I want to get home before it gets worse."
Piper watched the snowflakes hit the front window of the truck, and she leaned forward to study them. The designs were so intricate and beautiful.
"Submissives are like snowflakes, you know," Jeoff said, breaking the stillness.
"How so?"
"Each one is exquisite and beautiful in her own unique way. Each also has a purpose. Snowflakes can pile together and form banks; they can line the trees like powdered sugar, or they can be viewed individually as pieces of natural art."
"They also all melt and eventually disappear. Is that considered a good thing?" Piper sounded doubtful.
"When they melt, they change their purpose and nourish the things around them. They provide an element needed to help other things survive and grow. People think snowflakes are fragile, but they are powerful and strong, even deadly if not controlled. Snow has the power to kill as much as it does to help grow; ice can freeze and destroy, but it can also soothe and heal. A good submissive will use her powers to help others, not just herself."
"How in the world do you come up with all of these stories?"
"I don't know. Analogies just make sense to me and help people see things in a more natural, comprehensible way. Tell me, Pip. How do you view snow?"
"Well, here it's beautiful and clean. Almost pristine. The beauty is so overwhelming that it sometimes takes my breath away. I then have to remind myself that it is also very cold and unforgiving. Snow doesn't care if you are wearing a coat or that your toes are frozen. It almost lures you in … does that make sense?"
Piper's Journey (Into Submission 1) Page 9