Jules sighed, “Yeah, well – let’s not dwell on the past,” he said unclipping his seatbelt and escaping the confines of the car as quickly as he possibly could.
I followed him into the house and put the kettle on. Jules was running around like a blue-arsed fly. I could understand him. He was worried about his mum and he’d been away for months, leaving Charity and I to look after her, which Charity had done pretty much single-handedly (since I had to do it in secret) without any issues.
By the time Jules was back from the chemist, Mum, who had been absolutely delighted to see me, had somehow or other got all sorts of information out of me and I’d spilled my guts about far too many things. I was even talking about Horatio when Jules came back in.
“Horatio, huh?” he asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly. “Interesting name. What is he – Italian?”
Italian? Hardly! “Well, he’s British, but I guess his parents or grandparents were originally from Jamaica – he’s got that fabulous golden-brown skin and the biggest brown eyes...” A vision of his glorious dark skin flashed before my eyes, making me blush.
Jules shot Mum a questioning glance and she explained on my behalf, since I seemed to have lost all control of my voice, “Danny plays football with this Horatio fellow,” she said, “And he plays in a band too. In fact, Danny’s going to see them perform at the weekend.”
Jules blinked and then stared at me as if he was seeing me for the first time in his life. Well, maybe he was seeing the real me for the first time... “Cool,” He said, “Where’s he playing?”
Oh, fuck. He was going to totally suss me in a minute... “Uh, you’d probably know the place better than I do – it’s called Studs and Steel.” He’d probably picked up a million one-night-stands there...
And there was the reaction I expected... his jaw dropped, “Studs?” he squeaked, “Really? You’re going there?”
I nodded resolutely even though I had absolutely no idea how I would escape from home to go, “Is that a problem?” I asked.
To be fair to Jules, he didn’t even bat an eyelid, “No,” he said with the hint of a smile, “Want me to come with you?”
He was totally offering me the hand of friendship – and quite possibly protecting me at the same time. I grinned, “That would be amazing.” I said. Mara couldn’t possibly argue about me going out with my brother, could she? Well, actually she could – the woman argued about everything and generally won. But she didn’t have to know where we were going, “Mara won’t be able to kick off if I’m only going out with you...” I blurted out before I could check myself.
Jules patted my shoulder, “I’ll look after you.” He promised, “I know a couple of the guys who work there – they have their hair cut by me.”
I brightened. I really was going to be able to go and watch Horatio play. This was amazing! “Cool,” I said excitedly, “– I said I’d get there just before his band play – around ten?”
Jules nodded, “Sure – pick me up?”
I nodded enthusiastically, “Thanks, Jules,” I said, “This means a lot.”
Chapter 5 – Happily married man...?
Horatio
“Hey, Danny.” I dumped my sports bag down on the bench beside him and shoved his shoulder.
He looked up at me and grinned and I had to blink. Damn he was far too good-looking. “Hey yourself.” He said, looking as if he was pretty much beside himself with joy, “I’ve got some good news – I can come and watch you guys on Friday. Mara’s away with something to do with work and my brother said he’d be happy to come along.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Really?” I asked, my heart starting to beat a little faster, “Wow! That’s great man!” I bumped his fist with mine, “Maybe we can have a drink together afterwards...” Dance together, get sweaty together in a whole new way... Damn, it was a pity his brother was gonna be there...
He nodded, “Yeah, Jules has really come through for me. He said he’d look after me and make sure I wasn’t mauled by all the guys looking for fresh meat.” He snorted, like it was ridiculous that anyone would even consider him attractive. He really had no idea...
“Good idea.” I muttered.
He looked at me with an eyebrow raised, “Seriously?” he asked in genuine surprise, “Are gay clubs really like that?”
I nodded. There was no point in lying to him. The guys that went to Studs went for one thing and one thing only – to find other guys to have sex with, “Ohhh, yeah.” I said, “They’re intense...”
Panic flared in his eyes, “Oh God.” He said breathlessly, “Maybe I shouldn’t come along....”
I grabbed his hand, “Please, man.” I said pleadingly, “I’d love you to watch me play.”
He smiled and nodded, “Me too,” he said, looking up at me and I swear something passed between us, something more than just being friends, but that was surely just wishful thinking on my part again? Of course it was. He was a happily married man...
Well, he was married at least. Happily or otherwise really wasn’t any of my business. I shouldn’t even be thinking about him as anything other than a mate.
But it was hard (yeah, that was too). He was beautiful and funny and intelligent and I honestly hung onto every last word. Something that the guys I played with thought was hilarious.
It wasn’t funny though. I was seriously hung up on him – something that had never happened to me before and I didn’t really know what to do about it apart from look for ways to spend more time with him.
Noah was probably the only one out of the three of them that had any sort of understanding. He had been in a disastrous relationship with an older guy called Martin. He’d raved about this guy but none of us ever actually met him, even though they dated for a good six months and he was convinced it was the real deal. Martin turned out to be straight, married with two children and had absolutely no desire to leave his wife and family for Noah. He’d been heartbroken when Martin had told him he would never be anything other than just a casual hook-up because he really hadn’t seen it that way. He was therefore, concerned about me seeing Danny, who was a year older than me and married. He got me on my own and tried to reason with me, “Dude.” He said, “The guy’s in a relationship – you need to look elsewhere – believe me there can be no good ending to this.” He was kind enough not to mention the fact that Danny was in a relationship with a woman and that I was totally delusional – but I guessed that was because he too had been blinded by love and had been hurt. He was just looking out for me.
I nodded with a sigh, “Yeah,” I agreed, “I’m not blind dude. I’ve seen his ring.”
Noah had grinned and winked, “And here was me thinking you guys were just mates. You old dark horse, you.” He teased.
He got a punch for that but my thoughts turned dirty... If only...
Chapter 6 – Invisible line...
Danny
I was crossing a line, albeit an invisible one. I knew it and I was quite sure that Horatio knew it too. I wasn’t about to cross back, though – this was the most fun and the most excitement I’d had in my life in years.
Mara had gone away on her weekend conference. She hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye and I realised as I was getting showered and changed to go out to the Studs and Steel nightclub that I actually wasn’t in the slightest bit bothered by that. I was however, exceedingly nervous that I was going to stand out like a sore thumb in the middle of millions of cool, gay guys as the only heterosexual in the room...
And I wasn’t even heterosexual. I was a fucking fraud. I didn’t fit into either category. I didn’t identify as gay and I didn’t really believe I was straight anymore either. I was neither one thing, nor the other...
I guessed that I could try identifying as bisexual – but I didn’t even really think I was that. I’d met and fallen for Mara a long time ago and had never really considered being unfaithful – therefore I’d never gone looking for another woman and definitely not a man... Until I met and kind of fell for
Horatio, I’d never fancied anyone.
How fucking pathetic was I?
The doorbell rang and my heart rate increased by another couple of notches. Fuck. I so wasn’t ready for this.
I answered the door. Jules was stood on the other side of the threshold with a friendly smile on his face. He looked every inch the gay man around town, dressed to impress and with fucking perfect hair, “Ready yet?” he asked.
I shook my head and shot an arm out, dragging him inside. “I’m freaking out.” I admitted, “Do I look horribly straight and totally like I won’t belong there?”
Jules smiled, “You look adorable.” He said, “What sort of an idea do you think gay guys look like? Do you think that they’re somehow some sort of mystical being that’s automatically cool and in control of their lives – because believe me – it’s nothing like that. They’re all the same as the rest of us. They’re just men, Danny – just like you and I.”
I nodded. It was alright for him with his perfect skin and fabulous hair – and immaculate dress sense, “Yeah,” I agreed, “but look at you and then look at me.”
Jules nodded seriously, “Yeah, you’re a hunky, manly-looking guy and I’m a twinky, girly-looking guy.”
I frowned, “But you’re so beautiful.” I moaned and realised that I actually meant it.
He nodded, “Thanks,” he said as if he totally already knew that, “so are you, dude – don’t ever think that you’re not. It’s no wonder this Horatio fellow wants to get to know you better.”
I blushed, “We already know each other pretty well. We’ve hung out quite a lot recently.”
He smiled, “I’m really pleased for you – you need a good friend.”
I cleared my throat. I needed for him to know that I’d realised something recently, “I think I want him as more than a friend, Jules.” I said quietly, “I want to look really good tonight – for him.”
Jules raised an eyebrow, “Okay.” He said slowly, “Just to be clear – are you telling me that you’re not exactly straight, then?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head, “I have no fucking idea what I am – I’m just crushing so badly on my best friend that I have a hard-on most of the fucking time and I wake up in the night covered in spunk.”
He smiled, “Wow.” He said, “Sounds like you’ve got it bad.”
I nodded. I had it worse than bad. I was falling in love. “Help me.” I said.
He nodded. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to the stairs, “Let me style your hair for you – the rest of you is fabulous – just let me do something with that ‘dad’ style you’ve got going on – no offence.”
“None taken,” I murmured, feeling totally relieved that he was going to make me look better. Thank God he was a hairstylist...
Ten minutes later I stared at myself in the mirror and I hardly recognised myself. For starters I looked about ten years younger. The way Jules had teased my hair into something completely different to the ‘dad’ style as he’d so eloquently put it had been nothing short of miraculous, “You’re a fucking genius.” I murmured, “Thank you so much.”
He chuckled, “Danny, bro’,” he said, “Relax – Horatio must be into you to have asked you to come and watch him play.”
I nodded, “I think he is... I hope he is.”
Jules frowned, “What about Mara?” he asked, “What’s going on with her?”
I didn’t want to tell him about the mind-games or the broken plates and the numerous beatings I’d endured over the last few months and I really didn’t want to talk about the pan of hot water she threw at me, missing me by mere inches, “It’s not great.” I admitted, “But she’s away with some colleagues on a team-building exercise at the moment, so...” I actually thought she was having an affair with her boss but to be fair it was probably more wishful thinking than anything else.
Jules reached out and squeezed my arm, “Let’s hope she builds something else with them then – like a relationship – so you can escape her.”
I smiled, “Yeah.” I agreed before we both looked at each other and laughed. “Not that lucky.” We said in unison.
We headed out. Jules had called an uber and we were there another fifteen minutes later. We got out and Jules started heading for the door. “Wait.” I called after him.
He turned in surprise, “What’s up now?” he asked.
“I just need a minute...” I was shitting bricks over going inside.
Jules nodded, “It’s just like any other club – only it’s full of guys looking for guys, oh, and there are sexy pole dancers to look at.”
I nodded. It sounded like erection city to me... “Okay.” I squeaked, “I think I’m ready.”
Well... Nothing could have prepared me. The place was incredible.
It was stainless steel and mirrors for as far as the eye could see. The bar was all the way down one side of the club from the main entrance to the bathrooms at the back of the club.
I had absolutely no idea where Horatio and his band mates were hiding out but that was okay. It wasn’t like I was alone and they’d be out in ten minutes or so.
I gazed around in awe as Jules ordered us a drink each from the bar.
There were three guys up on a podium each. They were all incredibly good-looking, with lithe, trim bodies and I felt my heart rate increase just from looking at them. Wow. They were so damned good-looking – and the moves they could perform on their respective poles – incredible. I doubted there was a guy in the room that wasn’t affected by them.
I could see what both Jules and Horatio meant about the place now. It was a hotbed of hormones. Each and every guy in this place had come here for one thing. They all wanted to have sex with someone.
For the first time in my life I had to admit to myself that I wanted the exact same thing. I wanted Horatio...
Chapter 7 – Never make a move...
Horatio
“So, do you uh, do you think he’ll really come?”
I looked up into Noah’s concerned face and shrugged, “I don’t know man, I don’t know.”
He sighed, “I really hope he does – even if I do think you’re crazy to have fallen for a married man.”
I smiled sheepishly at him, “I know it’s stupid.” I said, “And I’m in no way wishing to get in the way of their relationship.” But I was so sure that he wasn’t actually happy with her, “I’m not trying to break them up. I’ll never make a move on him.” Unless he makes one on me...
Noah nodded, “I know you wouldn’t do that.” He said loyally, “You’re such a good guy.”
I cringed inwardly. I was about as far removed from a good guy at this moment in time with the dirty idea that were conjuring up in my mind knowing I’d got Danny all to myself tonight. Assuming he didn’t bottle it of course...
My phone pinged at that moment, making me jump. “I’m here – where are you?”
“Oh, my God.” I looked up at Noah, “He’s here! He came! He actually came!”
Noah beamed at me and punched my arm, “I really hope he divorces her.” He said sincerely.
I laughed out loud in surprise, “Noah!” I scolded, “I’m good with being mates.”
He shook his head, “No you’re fucking not.” He scoffed, “You’re in love with him – just like I was in love with Martin. Be honest with yourself if no one else.”
Fuck. He was right. “No, I’m not.” I agreed, “I want him to be mine.”
Noah patted my arm sympathetically, “Hang in there, mate.” He said, “He came to watch you to a gay joint – without his wife and he’s obviously confided in his brother. Martin never told a soul about me. I really think that’s got to count for something.”
Yeah, maybe...
“One minute, guys.” Justin poked his head into our dressing room, “Ready to rock the house?”
I grinned and nodded. Now that I knew Danny was here, I was ready for literally anything.
*
Having a regular slot at the club mea
nt that we had quite a decent fan base. The floor was crowded with guys, some were dancing with each other to the music, others were just stood having a drink and watching us play but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves.
I’d scanned the room and found Danny. He’d said he was coming with someone but I wasn’t prepared for how utterly pretty the guy was that he was stood with. Christ, there was absolutely no questioning his orientation... He screamed twink from the designer boots on his feet to the tips of his perfectly gelled hair.
Danny looked different tonight too. I usually saw him straight from work and I assumed that he was in his work clothes. He was wearing a smart dress shirt tonight though, with a pair of dark, skinny jeans that hugged his thighs and left little to the imagination. His hair looked amazing tonight too. He looked younger – and sexier than ever...
Finally, we were done. I hopped off the stage and made my way through the crowd to where he was stood.
“Danny!” I leaned in and gave him a manly hug.
He hugged me back and pulled away, beaming at me, “That was fantastic, mate!” he exclaimed enthusiastically, “You’re really good!” Turning towards the slightly shorter and much slighter guy stood with him, he introduced him to me, “This is my brother, Jules.”
Jules grinned and stuck his hand out to shake mine, “Nice to meet you.” He said, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
I blinked. Seriously? Danny had talked about me? Noah reckoned that was a good thing… “All good, I hope.” I said.
Jules just raised his eyebrows and smiled. I felt my face heating up and was rather glad of the atmospheric lighting in the club even if it was rarely obvious that I was blushing. I turned to Danny, “So, what do you want to do now? Do you, uh, fancy dancing?”
He nodded, his smile back on his face and turning my insides to mush. Jeez, I was in so much trouble... “Sure.” He said. Turning to Jules he asked him if he minded being left for a while.
When Danny met Horatio... (The Band Book 1) Page 3