His eyes spitting fire, he took a step in her direction. Mirroring him, she took one back. He took another. She did the same and bumped into the door behind her. He placed his hands against the door, on either side of her head locking her in.
“Listen to me, and listen to me good, Alyssa. No one fucks with what’s mine, and she did.”
She’d known since the day he’d roughed up her ex no one messed with his anything, but she could handle her problems on her own. She didn’t need him to control her life. It’s what her father had done, and she wouldn’t put up with it.
Angry now, she shot back, “Listen to me, Trigger, and listen to me good. I can handle my problems. I don’t need you to do anything for me.”
“Like you handled your ex?”
Well, he had a point there, but it didn’t mean she was helpless. “I’ve given the club plenty of problems, and I’m not keen on the idea you added another. Don’t tell me I should’ve told you about a conversation I had with my friend. I don’t owe you any information about my life when I know nothing about yours.”
Eyes flashing, he shot back, “You’re mine. It fuckin’ means I handle everything for you.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be then.”
It struck a nerve, no denying it hurt him to hear it. He looked anguished, like she’d reached into his chest and ripped out his beating heart.
She regretted what she’d said instantly, would’ve without seeing that. She shouldn’t have said it. Really, she hadn’t meant it, not at all. She’d just been trying to make a point. She wanted him, cared about him. No, she more than cared.
His eyes never leaving hers, his voice rough when he said, “You still think Mia didn’t hurt me by making you even think about leaving me?”
Her heart clenching, her eyes welled with tears. She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I…My father controlled my life. I can’t live like that again. I can’t.”
He stood there staring at her for a long moment.
She pressed her palm over his heart. She didn’t know why, maybe to make sure she hadn’t ripped it out, to make sure it still beat. “I swear I didn’t mean it, Jace.”
Finally, he cupped her face and pressed his lips against her forehead then released a breath. “It won’t be like that with me, baby. I promise.”
She exhaled, wrapped her arms around his waist, and held him while he held her.
Pulling away from the embrace to stare into her eyes, he drew his fingers through her hair. “You’re mine. I take care of you. It doesn’t mean I control you. It means I handle shit. If it’s club shit, I handle it and tell you about it later. Everything else, I’ll talk to you about first, ‘kay?”
She nodded.
They had their first fight. A big one, but it hadn’t lasted long.
She smiled and buried her face in his chest, and then she bypassed her run for make-up sex.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“We gotta talk, Allie.”
Her chest tightening, she met his stare.
Their last night together, they’d finished eating dinner. Tomorrow, her brother would be back. His return would change the relationship Jace and she had shared for the last week.
It had been amazing. She was happy, content, more so than she ever remembered. Jace was exactly the man she’d thought him to be, despite the fact he was a biker with a nasty temper, despite the fact the club was involved in illegal activities she didn’t know the extent of.
Her brother insinuated they protected people, but what they did wasn’t entirely legal. There had to be more to it, and she couldn’t know. Still, she knew little about Jace’s past, about him, but he was kind, caring, affectionate, and attentive.
Aside from when she was at work, they’d spent every waking hour together. Every night when he got home, he kissed her thoroughly then asked about her day. He didn’t just hear her, he listened. She could see him thinking, analyzing as if she’d said something significant. Afterward, he ran with her and later showered. While she cooked, he sat on the counter, sipping a beer or drinking a shake, and talked with her.
When they sat on the couch to eat, he shifted her until he’d nestled her as close as possible. He insisted on doing the dishes, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. They watched TV, he kept her close, running his hands through her hair or touching her in some way. He was always like that, trying to find ways to touch her, even innocently.
They went to bed, and he’d make love to her, soft and slow. Only when she begged or when she teased him and he lost control would he take her hard. Afterward, he’d press her close, and when she woke, she’d still be that way.
But with Ty’s return, everything would change, and the fact he often showed up at her house unexpectedly didn’t help. The guys would still watch her, which meant likely Ty would arrange for others to watch her. Meaning, Jace couldn’t come and stay. Another one of his brothers would be there, and they were supposed to be at most friends.
More than likely, he wanted to talk about this, but the way he said it and what he said sounded so ominous. In her experience, that phrase was usually followed by “this isn’t working out,” and so, she held her breath and waited for him to speak.
“Baby, come here.” Standing against the wall in her kitchen, he opened his arms wide.
She walked over to him and fell into his embrace.
He kissed her forehead, then cupped her cheeks, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. “Things are gonna change. Nothing we can do about it. Don’t wanna hide this from your brother, from the club. Don’t wanna hide you, but we gotta for a little while.”
She nodded.
“I’ll do what I can, Allie, to be with you every chance I get, but I gotta get back to club business, and I gotta get back to Tina and Della, too.”
“I know,” she whispered.
He sighed heavily. “Fuckin’ hate this shit.”
She hated it, too. She wanted things to stay the same, wanted to wake beside him, make him dinner at night, and sleep beside him. Call her selfish, but she wanted to stay in the perfect bubble they’d created for themselves where there was no club business and no responsibilities beside the two of them.
She nodded.
“I’m gonna try to arrange to watch you as much as I can, and maybe one night or two a week you can go to Tina’s. We can eat together or you can make dinner here, and I’ll bring them over. Friday nights, we can meet at the club and try to sneak out.”
She nodded.
He ran his thumb over her lips. “It’s gonna be hard. Seeing you and not being able to touch you, but we’ll do it until we’re ready, ‘kay?”
“Yeah.” She looked away from him. “Do you think anyone will say anything?”
His eyebrows lifted in question. “About?”
“Mia said Cuss, Tiff, and Lynn knew about us. I didn’t deny it, and if you were as angry at me as you were at her, you probably confirmed it too.”
He shook his head. “Wasn’t angry with you, Allie. Was just fuckin’ angry.” He paused for a moment, his gaze scanning her face. “Cuss won’t say shit ’cause I’m his brother, and it isn’t any of his business. Besides, he’s a man. Men don’t fuckin’ gossip. He’ll warn Tiff not to say anything, not that she’s around the club much anyway. As far as Mia goes, think she knows better than to say shit after I talked to her, and she’ll warn Lynn to stay out of it.”
“Okay, honey.” She’d never before called a man any form of endearment, but she was glad it slipped.
His eyes widened. He broke out in a wide grin and looked so beautiful smiling, staring down at her that she lost track of thought. Not the first time he’d smiled, but every time he did, she got lost.
“So glad you fuckin’ kissed me. Totally worth it.”
She didn’t understand the last part of his statement, but too lost admiring his grin, she didn’t bother to ask.
****
The door unlocked then opened. Tyler strode through, opened his arms
wide. “Missed me?”
She smiled and nodded then gave him a big hug. Pulling away, she walked into the living room and sat on the couch. “How’d it go?”
He followed behind and sat beside her. “Work’s work. Same shit. Different day.” He shrugged. “How was your week, Allie?”
A tough question. She and Jace had sex, fought, became exclusive, fought again, and then made up. They’d spent the week living together and acting like a married couple. She’d also gotten in an argument with Mia, whom she still hadn’t spoken to but needed to, sooner rather than later. None of this, she could admit.
“Good.” Not a lie, the truth. Fights with Jace and Mia aside, it had been a great week. Still, she hoped Ty didn’t sense how much she omitted.
“Trig was here all week?”
“Yep.” The entire week there’d been traces of him everywhere. His boots and clothes in her room, his cut draped across her couch, his wallet and keys on the counter. He was messy, but she loved it. Every piece of Jace scattered around her apartment served as a reminder he was there. Now all gone. The only thing left was his faint scent and the memories. Everywhere they’d been, made love, kissed, and caressed.
“How’d it go?”
Oh, God. Really? “Good.”
“I know he can be moody, just wondering.”
He was always angry or so she’d thought before the last week. Now, she knew better. He was more temperamental than anything else. He got in nasty moods, but not as much as he smiled and laughed.
She shrugged, praying her brother would stop talking about Jace before she started flushing, thinking about all the places they had sex. “I guess, sometimes.”
“So he was nice?”
Sighing heavily, she rolled her eyes. “If you were so worried about Jace being moody, then why’d you make him watch me for a week?”
“’Cause he’s moody, and I knew he wouldn’t fuckin’ hit on you.”
He had a point. Jace hadn’t hit on her. She hit on him. That’s how it started. “None of the other guys would hit on me either.”
“They’d flirt though. Tellin’ you how good you cook, offer you rides, and shit like that. Didn’t want you to start getting ideas.”
Ideas, ugh? Damn, her brother could be way off sometimes. She wasn’t interested in any of them, never had been, except Jace. Not that she was complaining; she was glad he’d been wrong this time. Even if she and Jace didn’t end up working out, she’d enjoyed a week of pure bliss.
“Why don’t you want me dating any of the men in the club?” Perhaps she shouldn’t have asked, but she needed to know. It would be useful when she told him the truth.
He quirked a brow. “Allie, don’t start getting any ideas.”
“Ty, I’m asking because it doesn’t make sense for someone who’s joined this club for life, who’s always talking about the club being a family, being so against me dating any of them. It doesn’t add up. If they’re such good people, why aren’t they good enough for me?”
He held her gaze then finally said, “Told you this, Allie. Outta thirty guys in the club, two got steady women. What does that tell you?
“Besides, you went to an Ivy League school, got a master’s. You made six figures not too long ago. You’re class. Not many of the guys went to college. Some of them didn’t even graduate from high school. They aren’t good enough for you. Not one of them.”
She understood. But to her brother’s standards, no one would ever be good enough for her. And she didn’t think Ty, despite having the best intentions, fully understood sometimes those who didn’t appear to have accomplished much at all had accomplished the most.
To most, she’d accomplished a lot, but in truth, she accomplished none of the things that really mattered. She went to an Ivy League school because she’d busted her butt studying and had the monetary means, but she’d studied what her father chose. It’s the way her life had been. Until recently, she’d never stood up for herself, never stood up for what she wanted, what really mattered. She wasn’t married and didn’t have kids. Those were the things she wanted, that mattered to her—to find someone who truly loved her and build a family and a life with him. If she died tomorrow, no one but Ty and, maybe, Jace would miss her.
Besides, her heart wanted Jace. She didn’t care if he graduated from high school or if he had a college degree. Obviously, she didn’t care he partook in questionable activities. The thought barely crossed her mind. All she knew was how she felt about him and how he made her feel. With him, she wasn’t an object. She was a person, a woman who deserved to be loved. He accomplished this in the simplest of ways, the way he was with her, caring, attentive, and affectionate. No other man had ever been that for her.
“I get it, Ty,” she whispered. “But I’m starting over. I don’t earn six figures anymore because I don’t want to. I want to work with kids, and it’s what I’m doing. I don’t get paid much, and I’m not complaining because I finally like what I do. I don’t need a man with a degree or a man who makes six figures. I want what I’ve always wanted—someone who loves me.”
He smiled then shook his head. “Don’t want this life for you, Allie. It can be rough, and you don’t deserve rough. You deserve easy.”
She looked away from him. “Who’s watching me tonight?”
“Me. Don’t know if you realized, but it’s Friday, means the guys are at the compound, partying and getting laid.”
“And you’re missing out because of me?”
“Yeah, didn’t think you’d want to go.”
He couldn’t be more wrong. She wanted to go. She wanted to see Jace. It would be hard to stand in the same room and pretend nothing changed, but it was better than nothing at all. Even thinking of seeing him, her heart began racing, but she couldn’t let on. She schooled her voice before she spoke. “I don’t mind going, Ty. Wouldn’t mind hanging out with Mia and Lynn.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he smiled. “You sure?”
“Yep, let me get dressed.”
They rode to the compound in Ty’s SUV. He parked. She hopped out and took a deep breath, forcing her nerves to settle. As soon as they strode in, blaring music greeted them. She folded her hands into each other, walking along the hallway beside Ty. When she stood under the threshold leading into the living room, she smiled. Her eyes scanned the room until she found him.
Her heart fluttering, the pounding so loud now she thought it might pop right out of her chest. Damn, he looked good, sitting on the couch, beer in hand, wearing his usual: jeans, black shirt tight around his chest, and his cut. He stared at her, as if he’d been waiting for her, as if he knew she’d arrived, but his eyes hardened, jaw clenched, and brows furrowed.
She couldn’t help the doubts crossing her mind. Maybe he didn’t want her there. Maybe he had a change of heart. Maybe she’d done something to upset him.
Trying to silence her rambling brain, she forced herself to look away and spotted Lynn rushing toward her.
“Hey,” Lynn said, brightly.
She closed the distance between them. “Hey.”
“Miracle.” Cuss strode up to her, smiling.
She smiled at Cuss. “Hi, Cuss.”
Lynn grabbed her hand and dragged her toward the kitchen. “Come, let’s get you a drink.”
The kitchen was empty except for Mia, who sat on the counter, a sad, apologetic look on her face. Not the fun-loving, quick-to-blab Mia. Allie bit the side of her lip, knowing she should’ve called Mia. She shouldn’t have waited so long.
Closing the distance, she said, “I’m sorry.”
Mia’s eyes watered. “No, Allie, I’m sorry. I should’ve never said what I said. I didn’t mean to imply—”
“I care about him, Mia, a lot, so I can’t blame you for looking out for him because it’s what I want for him.” She hugged her tight.
“Thank you, Allie. You’re a good person.”
Pulling away from her, she smiled. “He’ll come around.”
Mia
shook her head. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, Allie. I can’t blame him if he doesn’t, and I don’t expect him to.”
“You were only—”
She shook her head. “I didn’t realize it at the time, but I forced you to doubt this life and in doing so, I forced you to doubt him, too. From what you’ve told me, and from knowing him, he’s falling for you. I could’ve ruined it because of what I said.”
She paled, then swallowed. Could he be falling for her? Was he playing angry as a ruse or had he been pretending that morning?
“Relationships are hard and take a lot of work. I added to an already complicated situation.” Mia reached out, placing her hand over hers softly. “Just so you know…I’m rooting for you.”
She smiled, shakily. “Thanks.”
“Enough of this.” Lynn jumped in, handing each of them cosmopolitans in martini glasses. “Drinks are ready.”
“We’re being fancy tonight,” Mia quipped.
Lynn winked. “In your honor, of course.”
Allie forced another smile and sipped her drink.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Trig hadn’t laid eyes on her yet, but she was there. He felt it inside him. Sitting on the couch, nursing a beer, he forced his muscles to relax. His gaze gravitated to the threshold, knowing with every breath in his body she would appear.
Allie, so fucking beautiful, wearing a pair of tight jeans and a black blouse. One look and his heart started pounding so loud he swore it could be heard over the blaring music. His fist tightened around his beer, fighting the urge to close the distance between them, wrap his arms around her, and kiss her until she was weak in the knees.
That morning, he’d made love to her and came staring into her beautiful eyes. She made him pancakes. They ate together, and then he kissed her before she left for work. But it didn’t feel like hours ago, it felt like days. Right then, seeing her, and not being able to do everything he wanted to do, stung.
For him, nothing ever came easy. This was more of the same. He’d finally found a woman he wanted for keeps, and she was his brother’s sister, off limits. For the time being, they had to keep quiet.
Running Wild (Hell Ryders MC Book 1) Page 19