by Lea Hart
“Oh…well, we’re taking a break. Things got a little complicated and I needed to step back.”
Mrs. Bellamy lifted her champagne glass and took a sip. “Complicated is the very definition of love. Put any two people together, add one of the strongest emotions there is, and that’s all you’re going to get.”
“I suppose.” She took her own glass and ran her finger over the rim. “I got hit with a lot of information in a short amount of time and truth is, I was overwhelmed. Gambling, sex parties, prostitutes, and sex videos were a little too much for me to take in one day.”
Throwing her head back, Mama Bellamy let out a laugh. “Are you sure you’re talking about your life and not a soap opera?”
“Exactly,” Bree said loudly.
“Let me see if I can figure this out correctly. That nasty ex of yours has some socially unacceptable habits and that fighter got caught with his pants down and a camera in the room.”
Tapping her nose, Bree nodded. “You’re absolutely correct.” She lifted the bottle of champagne and refilled their glasses. “I just wanted a nice to man to fall in love with and I ended up with an episode of Dr. Phil.”
“If only it were that easy. Nobody has that, even if it looks like it from the outside. Relationships are messy business. Look at what we’ve been reading. Tender Is the Night shows the Divers almost destroying each other. Human relationships are complex even when people do their best.”
Bree looked out across the yard and then shrugged. “I know. I just couldn’t handle all the complexities at once. Matt and I have taken a break and I’ve finally gained some perspective.”
“And what does that perspective tell you?”
“That some people are worth fighting for and love is about what a person does.”
Mama Bellamy patted Bree’s hand and smiled. “I couldn’t agree more. I was lucky enough to have a successful thirty-five-year marriage before Mr. Bellamy passed, and I learned that love is a daily choice. No one tells you about the arduous nature of a romantic commitment before you get married. The reality is that the choice to love can sometimes be hard to make and even harder to fulfill. I was lucky because I married a man who was up for the task, and when I wasn’t feeling loving, he was, and vice versa. All those big feelings that you have in the beginning change over time, and if you’re lucky you end up with something richer.”
“I think that fighter of mine might be the one.”
“I think there’s another fighter who could be the one for my daughter, but she’s not quite ready yet. I’m hoping that seeing me go off on a road trip with my friends will give her the freedom to do something about her happiness.”
“Me too,” Bree said quietly.
“You too…what?” Kendra asked as she walked out with a tray.
“We’re hungry,” Mama Bellamy answered.
Bree noticed that Kendra wasn’t totally buying it but she hoped that she would let it go. “I’ll get the rest of the food.” She hopped up, walked into the house, and put the rest of their lunch on the tray. By the time she made it back to the table, Kendra was busy quizzing her mom about her road trip plans.
Listening to all the places they were going to visit made Bree realize she would love to do something like that with Matt. Which told her she was ready to open her heart up again. Despite their differences, despite the sex tape and anything else that came along. Time passing had a way of showing what was important and what wasn’t, and the last two months had shown her that she missed him like crazy. Somewhere along the way, she’d become attached to him, and his absence had been felt from the moment he walked out her door.
Months ago, she’d tried to tell herself that being loved badly wasn’t going to define who she was, and for a hot second, she had let it. All the crap with Grayson had spilled over onto Matt and that wasn’t fair. Truth was, when Grayson had told her she wasn’t enough, she had let it infect her mind, and seeing Matt getting it on with someone made her believe that she would never be enough for him. Her head resembled a dark cesspool sometimes and she let all that stuff fester.
Sitting in this beautiful backyard with her best friend and her second mama made her realize she would be more than enough when the right guy came along. Maybe it was Matt. Perhaps not. Either way, she was going to let all the garbage go. Who and what Grayson was had little to do with her. He’d already sucked up enough of her happiness, and she wasn’t going to give him an ounce more.
Her brother had always told her that she had three choices—give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got. It was time to give it all she had. If things didn’t work out with Matt after that, then she would have no regrets. When she texted him back later, she was going to tell him she was ready if he was. God willing, it hadn’t taken her too long to get her mind right.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Monday, May 1st
Living in Vegas wasn’t Matt’s favorite thing and he was glad that his time in Sin City was almost done. He’d been in town for the last six weeks, training with new coaches, and he was nearly through.
His first week had been spent at the UFC facility, and he’d learned a ton of new things. He’d done everything from pulling a power sled on the Olympic-size sprint track to learning about cryotherapy.
One of the most beneficial things he’d done was seeing his sparring matches on a big screen minutes after he finished. It had helped him think about his fight strategy in a new way.
Which led him to the coach he’d been working with for the last couple of weeks. The guy was helping change the way he reacted when caught on the ground. Which was his biggest area of weakness.
He checked his phone as he walked out of the gym and noticed that Bree hadn’t responded to his last text. Checking his watch, he realized she was probably still at work. She’d probably send him something later. At least he had that to look forward to.
The intense schedule he was putting himself through was the only thing that saved his sanity. After he’d walked out of Bree’s house months ago, he wasn’t sure how he was going to manage it. Turned out, he hadn’t. His brother had pulled his ass out of their favorite bar a couple of times before he got himself together.
He’d requested a week at the UFC facility the day after a record-breaking hangover and had been training ever since. If he had stayed in town, he probably would’ve ended up sitting on Bree’s doorstep, begging for another chance.
Truth was, he’d barely kept his dignity together before he got himself out of town. The countless times he drove by her condo was a testament to that. And, when he’d sat in front and waited for the light in her bedroom window to be turned off, he knew he’d gone over the edge.
He was in love and would never be whole until they were together. At thirty-two-years-old, he’d finally fallen.
The girl of his dreams was completely unexplainable. At first, he’d thought she was a good girl, but once he got to know her he’d realized she was everything. Funny, smart, honest, and sexy. So…fucking sexy.
There wasn’t a thing he didn’t miss about her and that included her annoying habit of talking when they were watching a show. He could hardly wait to be lying in bed with her and watching How It’s Made and have her make comments or ask questions. It had taken him a while to realize she saw watching TV as an interactive activity. The only time she’d been quiet was when they were watching an episode of MythBusters they’d both seen. He’d discovered that she asked questions only during the first and second time seeing a show. After that, apparently, she could watch it quietly.
Stupid shit like that made his breath catch when he thought about it. Small, mundane things that had turned her from a woman he liked to a woman he loved. When he’d gone through the nutrition course at the UFC facility, he had wanted to call her and tell her all about it because he knew she would be interested. Maybe they could come back and take it again after his title defense fight.
There were a lot of things he wanted to do after his fight. The first thing on
his list was taking Bree away for a week and staying someplace that didn’t require clothes. Someplace private where they could celebrate. His fight in July had become a line of demarcation about when he was going to start living again. Somehow, he knew Bree was going to be back in his life before he had to enter the cage.
It was a belief that had become a driving force. It was a belief that kept him on this side of sanity.
He lifted his key fob, clicked the doors open on his car, and saw Bruce pull into the parking space next to him. Throwing his bag into the back, he waited for his friend to get out of the truck.
“Hey, man. What brings you to the south side of Vegas?” Matt called out as Bruce climbed out of his truck.
“I’m going to work out with Roy. He promised to fix my ground game.” They clasped hands, gave each other a bro hug, and then stood silently.
Matt lasted a whole minute before asking how Bree was doing. “She’s been texting me back every day, so don’t feel like you’re being disloyal by telling me anything.”
Bruce rocked back on his heels as a hot wind blew across the parking lot. “I think she’s doing better. No more circles under her eyes and fake smiles. I saw her yesterday before I left town and she looked genuinely happy for the first time in months. It was like some kind of weight had been lifted off her shoulders. I asked her about it and she didn’t say much.”
“Maybe the news about our test results has her feeling better.”
“Maybe, but we always knew those were going to come in clean. I think she is closing in on finding out who’s responsible. My sister can’t let anything go and she wasn’t going to rest until she knew how our tests ended up inconclusive.”
“Do you think it’s Grayson?”
“Not really and neither does she. He hadn’t been there long enough to pull something like that off.” Shrugging, he pulled his bag out of his car and locked it up. “You want to grab something to eat later on?”
“Sure. Call me when you’re done and I’ll meet you.”
Bruce looked around and ran his hand over his head. “I don’t love the desert, but there sure are a lot of good resources here.”
“I’m with you, man. I miss the smell of the ocean.”
Bruce lifted his hand, and they fist-bumped. “Call you later.”
“Good luck in there. Roy’s gonna make you feel like a pretzel.” He climbed into his car and checked his phone one more time to see if Bree had sent anything. When his screen was blank, he did his best not to feel disappointed. Maybe whatever was making Bree feel better would eventually translate into him feeling better. He started his car up and prayed like hell he was right.
***
San Francisco
Walking down the busy street, making her way toward the hotel, Bree felt the wind rush against her face. Why had she agreed to meet with Grayson? Berating herself silently, she wished she had insisted they meet in the office. He’d asked for the meeting regarding the allegations she and Nicole had filed against the doping manager who had administered Matt’s and Bruce’s tests months ago.
Victor and his team had done a thorough investigation and they now had enough evidence to present to the district attorney. If USADA didn’t agree to their terms, they were ready to file a suit.
As far as she and Nicole could tell, this was the work of an individual as opposed to an organization trying to commit fraud. The meeting with Grayson was a professional courtesy. Despite their tumultuous past, Bree was trying to behave as maturely as she could.
The anger about their relationship had disappeared for the most part because, ultimately, she was grateful that it had ended before they walked down the aisle. That was the thing she was choosing to focus on because, quite frankly, she had wasted far too much time thinking about the whole thing.
The last thing she needed to do was poison any more of her future with her past. It was done and she had a pretty terrific guy she hoped was still interested.
Walking up the hill toward The Ritz-Carlton hotel, she hoped they could get through this with civility. He was staying at the hotel and she had agreed to meet him there, as opposed to trying to come up with someplace else. Why he wasn’t staying at his parents’ house was a question she avoided.
Kendra and Maggie had insisted that it was because he was on the outs with them. Which was completely possible, considering his lifestyle. All it would take was one person figuring out who he was and how much money his family had to come up with bribery. A couple of photos from a camera phone at one of those sex parties and his life would be over. Not to mention the folks he gambled with.
Nodding to the doorman as she entered the hotel, she said a silent prayer of thanks that it wasn’t her problem. Her guardian angel had been working overtime when she let her escape relatively unharmed.
Walking through the lobby, she appreciated the quiet elegance. The muted grays and creams always made her feel calm. She stepped through the archway of The Lounge restaurant and saw Grayson sitting at a table next to the window. He dressed in a black suit, white shirt, and yellow tie, and for a second she saw a glimpse of the man she used to know. He looked completely at home in the elegant surroundings and she hoped he would eventually find a way to live honestly.
She strode over and greeted him as she took off her coat. Slipping into the red leather chair, she kept a neutral expression. “Should we get started?” she asked without preamble.
“Let me get you something to drink,” he said quietly. He motioned to the waiter and when he arrived, he asked for two sparkling waters. He gave her a small smile and pulled out his portfolio.
The fact that he remembered she always drank sparkling water at meetings was strange. Truth was, this whole thing was strange. Just as she was about to speak, he held up his hand. “Yes?” she asked.
“I just wanted to take a moment and apologize for my behavior a couple of months ago. When I called you after I got the job with the USADA, I wasn’t in a good place. To be completely honest, I was terrified of the company finding out about…”
“About what?” she prompted him.
“The things that I like to do in my free time. I figured that Bruce and Bryce had told you about our conversation or they were about to, and I didn’t want you to do or say anything that could cause me problems.”
Leaning back, she crossed her arms. “You know you handled that in about the worst way possible. It was all your bluster and anger that made me do a little digging. Had you left it alone, I probably never would’ve found out. Bruce and Bryce have never said a word to me and I expect they never would’ve. When the drug tests came back as inconclusive, I assumed you were behind it and started digging.”
Running his hand over his forehead, he let out a sigh. “I fucked it up from one end to the other.”
“Yes, that’s a pretty accurate description.” She stacked the papers inside her folder and made sure they were perfect before she said anything. “Why didn’t you just tell me what you were into when you called off the wedding? It would’ve made the whole thing much easier.”
He let out a sharp laugh and then raised an eyebrow. “Sure, Bree. You would’ve shot me on the spot if I had come to you and said, ‘By the way, honey, I’m into some kinky shit and the vanilla we’ve got going on just isn’t going to cut it.’”
The waiter delivered their drinks and when he left she felt an uncontrollable laughter start to bubble up. The kind of laughter that would make the room look her way. She slipped her hands under the table and dug her nails into her palm. It helped a little and the laughter that erupted was only mildly crazy-sounding.
Grayson handed her a napkin and waited patiently. “Let me know when you’re done.”
Dabbing her eyes, she got herself under control and sipped some water. “That is the first time I’ve laughed over the whole debacle. You have to admit, it’s kind of funny.”
“Maybe for you!”
“Oh, stop being so dramatic. I’ve had enough time to think about this, and
what you’re into isn’t the most depraved thing I’ve ever heard of. So what? You enjoy sex parties. Big deal.”
“Who the hell are you and what have you done with that sweet, innocent southern girl I was engaged to?”
Waving her hand, she smiled. “Right here. I’m not as sweet or innocent as you believe me to be and I could’ve handled the truth. The crap you slung about never loving me and me not being enough hurt me a lot more than knowing you were into bondage would have.” Running her hand over her skirt, she shrugged. “Truth is, I’m glad you ended it. We were mostly friends and any marriage we had would’ve ended in disaster.”
His shoulders dropped and a faint smile appeared on his face. “Thank you, Bree. I can’t believe how good it feels to hear you say that.”
“I figured out that we really never had more than friendship. I saw what I wanted to see and there was a part of me that knew I wasn’t in love but I didn’t want to face it.”
“Maybe if I had invited you to a sex party, we could’ve worked.”
She snorted and shook her head. “That would be a hard no.”
He flattened his hands on the table and grinned. “Yeah, that was wishful thinking. You are exactly who I should marry if I wanted to make my parents happy and live the life they see me having. Too bad it’s the weird stuff that makes me happy.”
“Maybe it’s time you accept who you are and quit hiding. Might make it lot easier.”
“Yeah, that’s what part of this trip is about. I’ve got some guys breathing down my neck for money I owe and I’m going to ask my parents to allow me access to my trust fund. It’s going to get uncomfortable and ugly but I don’t have too many choices.”
“What’s up with the gambling?”
“I play high-stakes poker to get the adrenaline rush I crave. It’s exciting and makes me feel alive.”
“How are you going to keep it up and live in Colorado? Can’t imagine the USADA is going to let something like that fly.”