by S. Walden
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
I squeezed his hand, and he opened it, cupping my cheek with the used wet wipe. I should have laughed at how silly it felt, but I knew it was only because he was trying to caress my skin, and the wipe was in the way.
“You’ll be late for class, Cadence,” he said, and as if his voice were the signal, the bell rang, shattering the enchanting moment. He stood up and walked to the trash can, tossing the wipe before turning to face me once more.
“I have wet wipes in my desk because I never know when I’ll need them,” he said.
“Oh.”
“I can make them stop,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“The . . . bullying.”
I grabbed my books and stood up.
“No. There’s nothing you can do,” I said, walking to the door. “They’ll grow tired of it eventually.”
“It’s not right,” Mr. Connelly said. “I can do something about it.”
“No, Mr. Connelly,” I said. “Please don’t. You’ll only make it worse.”
He looked angry, but not with me. He looked angry because he knew I was right. There wasn’t really anything he could do. He remembered high school. He knew the rules, fair or unfair.
“Let me give you a late pass,” he said, walking to his desk and scrawling his signature on a pink slip of paper. I took it, unlocked the door, and slunk out without a word.
I stared at my hands in every class for the rest of the day replaying Mr. Connelly’s ministrations. He had to know it was inappropriate. Why would he touch me like that? And why did I let him? I could have said no. I could have walked away. But I didn’t want to. I wanted him to clean my hands, to say kind things to me, to make me laugh. I realized that Mr. Connelly was one of the only nice men in my life right now. Did he sense that? And was he taking advantage of it?
***
“I’ve got a proposition for you.”
I watched a tall girl with long black hair plop her lunch tray carelessly on the table across from me. A few of her steamed vegetables flew out of their container, landing in front of me with a wet plunk. I looked down at my own vegetables and decided I wasn’t hungry.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m Avery,” she replied, opening her chocolate milk. She grinned and took a swig, then got right down to business. “Okay, so I’ve been watching you the past few weeks.”
“Creepy.”
“Totally, but just hear me out. I’ve been watching you, and I know you don’t have any friends. I know what’s going on with you.”
“You do?” I shifted nervously in my seat.
“Mmhmm. You made a huge mistake and got in major trouble with your parents, and now they won’t let you do a thing, right? They won’t let you out of their sight. Am I right?”
“Um . . .”
“You can’t drive. You can’t go anywhere except school and church. I’ve seen you at church, by the way. People keep asking when you’re coming back to youth group.”
“Never,” I replied.
Avery laughed.
“Why don’t I know you?” I asked. “I mean, if you go to my church and all.”
“My family moved here a year ago, and while you were picking up trash on the highways, I was attending youth group at your church and learning all about your deviant behavior.”
“Hmm. So I guess you already know my name, and that’s why you didn’t bother to ask?”
“Oh, I know exactly who you are. You’re Cadence Miller, the girl who got high, robbed a convenience store, and went to juvie for ten months,” Avery said. “You’re the girl who avoided real prison by the skin of her teeth. Lucky.”
It was true. I was a few months shy of my seventeenth birthday when I was sentenced, the age teenagers are tried as adults in Georgia.
I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Hey, no judgment here,” Avery said, throwing up her hands.
“One time,” I muttered. “One freaking time.”
“It only takes one time for your life to be over, Cadence. But I think I can help,” Avery said.
“Why would you wanna help me?” I looked around the cafeteria. “You probably shouldn’t be sitting with me, actually. People might start putting hate notes in your locker.”
“Like I care,” she replied flippantly. “Now listen. I think this”—she moved her forefinger back and forth between us two—“could be very mutually beneficial.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“Uh huh.” I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.
“I don’t have any friends, really, because I didn’t bother to make any last year. You don’t have any friends because you’re a criminal.”
“Thanks.”
“Let’s be friends and help each other out,” she continued.
“Why? Shouldn’t you try to make friends with some of the students here in good social standing? I’ll completely ruin your reputation.”
“Not likely. But I can help with yours,” Avery said. A wicked little grin curled her lips.
“I don’t get it.”
Avery leaned in close. “Look, Cadence. You wanna go to the movies, right? Maybe go to the mall every now and again? Sneak off to get an ice cream cone? Well, I wanna go to parties and sneak around with Gavin.”
I nodded, intrigued.
“You want some freedom. I want some freedom. But we both know you’re not getting it unless you’ve made a nice new friend at school who just happens to be a student leader in the youth group at church. And makes straight A’s. And never misses curfew. And just happens to be freaking amazing,” Avery said.
“Are we talking about you?” I asked, and grinned.
“Cute. And yes. You’re looking at her.”
“I’m confused. If you’re so wonderful, surely your parents let you go do stuff,” I said.
“Uh huh. I have a ten o’clock curfew.” She stared at me with deadpan eyes. “On the weekends, Cadence.”
“So how can I help?”
“I want us to be each other’s alibis,” Avery said.
I laughed. Hard. This chick was insane.
“Um, Avery? Why do you think your parents would even let you hang out with me? Surely they know all about my juvie history.”
“Yes, they do. And they also know that they have an awesome daughter who wants to be a good influence on you and get you back into youth group. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to bring you back into the fold, establish myself as a loyal, positive influence in your life, and then slowly gain the trust of your parents. Suddenly it’ll be, ‘Oh, you’re spending the night with Avery? Have fun, honey!’” Avery sat back in her chair satisfied. “Go ahead and say it. I’m amazing.” She popped a potato chip in her mouth and chewed while she smiled.
“You’re deluded,” I replied. “There is no way this plan would work. I mean, you think parents don’t call each other? You think my parents wouldn’t call yours to check up on me?”
“No, I don’t. Not once I’ve shown them that I’m a girl they can trust.”
“Why me? Why not some other girl?”
“Because I can’t trust my plans with someone else. And I know you’ll lie for me.”
I bristled. “Why do you think that?”
Avery sighed patiently. “Because, Cadence. You’ve been trying to show your parents how good you are for how long now? And where has it gotten you? Can you drive yet? Are you allowed to go out on the weekends yet? Is your dad letting you date?”
I couldn’t argue with her. She was right. All my efforts to show my parents I was trustworthy fell flat. I was still a prisoner, and would be one until I graduated. If I wanted to have any kind of fun my senior year—and I’m talking about innocent fun like going to get a damn ice cream cone—then I’d probably have to lie to them.
“I want to use you, okay?” she went on. “But in exchange, you can use the hell out of me.”
I shrugged. I didn’t want t
o commit just yet.
Avery huffed. “Once my parents see what a great influence I am on you and what a good girl you’ve become, I’ll be sleeping over at your house. Understand what I’m saying? Sleeping over,” she said, putting air quotes around “sleeping over.”
I giggled. “Ohhh, I get it! You wanna lie to your parents about hanging out with me when you’ll really be off somewhere in a parked car going down on your boyfriend.”
“Try him going down on me,” Avery replied. “And yes, you’re finally starting to get it. And you can do whatever you want when you’re ‘sleeping over’ at my house.”
“So you don’t really wanna be my friend at all.”
“Seriously?”
I chuckled, shaking my head.
“Look at it as a partnership. If a friendship develops, then all the better. But I think what you and I need right now is freedom over friendship.”
Freedom over friendship. I liked the sound of that.
An inconvenient yet mercifully fleeting image of Mr. Connelly doing me in his car flashed in my head, and I gasped. Then I coughed to cover up the gasp. Avery didn’t seem to notice. She was too busy scheming.
“So what’s the first step in this plan of yours?” I asked.
“To get you back to church, missy.”
“There is no way I’m going back to youth group,” I said.
“Oh, yes you are,” Avery argued. “Youth group is key to the success of this plan. And frankly, I’m surprised your parents haven’t already made you go.”
“I screamed and threatened to kill myself,” I said.
“No you didn’t. They’re probably still just really embarrassed and don’t want you venturing out of the house too much.” She thought for a moment. “Or they’re really freaking lazy and don’t wanna drive you.”
I nodded.
“We’ve gotta get your car back,” Avery said, mostly to herself.
I knew I needed to stop her before she got completely out of control.
“Avery? I hate to break it to you, but I’m not sure this plan of yours is gonna work.”
“Yes it will work. But you’ve gotta play along and do what I say.” She looked at me with pathetic desperation. “Freedom, Cadence. I’m talking about freedom. How long has it been for you?”
I scratched my head and thought for a moment. “Too long.”
“Exactly. Same goes for me.”
“This could all blow up in our faces, Avery,” I said.
Suddenly I was worried. I didn’t feel that way while she was explaining her plan, probably because it was so amusing that I had a hard time taking it seriously. But she was dead serious, and apparently in great need of a “sleepover” so that she could get with Gavin all night.
“You realize I snorted cocaine,” I said.
Avery furrowed her brows.
“All I mean is that this’ll take some time. Your parents aren’t going to accept me right off the bat, and my parents won’t be so willing to let me hang out with you. Doesn’t matter how good you are.”
“You underestimate me, but at least you’re in,” she said, her face lighting up. “It starts tomorrow. You’re gonna ask your parents if you can go to youth group.”
“They’ll probably say no,” I replied.
“How can they say no to a daughter who clearly wants to get her life back on track? You’re not asking to go to a rock concert.”
“They won’t let me drive.”
“I figured, but I may just be able to work something out with that. Leave it to me,” Avery said, then stood up and grabbed her tray. “Hey, I didn’t see you take one bite this entire time.”
“That’s because I didn’t,” I replied.
“Start eating,” Avery said. “Your parents need to see that you’re normal. If you don’t eat, they know something’s wrong. Parents measure the emotional health of their children based on food intake.”
“Interesting,” I replied, gathering my partially eaten sandwich and untouched vegetables on the tray. I stood up and headed for the trashcan. Avery followed.
“It is interesting, smartass, and it’s true. So start eating.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, dumping my tray and heading to sixth period.
There was a note waiting for me in my locker at the end of the day. It was Avery’s number. I added her contact information in my cell phone and called her immediately.
“It’ll work,” she assured me. “Just get your butt to youth group next week.”
***
Mom dropped me off in front of the church at 6:45 P.M. Avery was outside waiting for me and ran to Mom’s car before she pulled away.
“Mrs. Miller?” she asked, poking her head through the passenger side window.
“Yes?”
“I’m Avery.”
“Oh, hi Avery,” Mom said pleasantly. “I spoke to your mother on the phone last night.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Avery replied. “It’s nice to meet you, and thank you for letting Cadence come back to youth group.”
“I’m glad you encouraged her,” Mom said. “And you’re sure it’s not a big deal taking Cadence home afterwards? I can always come get her.”
“No, Mrs. Miller. It’s totally cool.”
Mom nodded. “Your mother mentioned you’re a student leader. What are you in charge of?”
“Community outreach. I help organize events,” Avery replied.
Mom snorted. “Well, I think Cadence should be able to help you with that. She knows all about servicing the community.”
It was the bitchiest, snarkiest thing my mom had ever said. I wanted to slap her.
Avery didn’t miss a beat. “I was planning on asking her if she wanted to help me with an upcoming project. Would you let her?”
“I’ll have to ask her father, but I don’t see why not. Keep her busy doing something good.”
It’s like I was totally not standing right there in front of them.
“Well, thanks for considering it, Mrs. Miller.” Avery looked behind her at the church doors. “We should probably get going.”
“Okay. You girls have a nice time, and Cadence?”
“Hmm?”
“Be on your best behavior.”
Suddenly I’m a loose cannon. What the hell? Did she think I was sneaking in a flask of whisky or something? Did she think I was planning to disrupt the meeting with a striptease? What on earth was wrong with my mother that she felt the need to treat me like I was a complete idiot?
I nodded and walked away, not bothering to wait for Avery.
“Okay, that was perfect!” Avery squealed when she caught up to me.
“That was bullshit,” I replied. “How could my mother talk to me like that?”
Avery grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.
“Cadence, listen. First off, you can’t cuss on church property. Second, your mom was being a total bitch to you, okay? But she’s probably gonna let you help out on the next community project with me! Do you understand what that means?”
I grunted.
“It means you’ll be able to go places with me! It means you’ll have responsibilities after school which means you’ll probably get back your driving privileges!”
I didn’t think about that.
“This is amazing!” Avery said. “Now don’t mess it up. You better be an angel at home. I don’t care what your parents say to you or how unfair they treat you. Rise above it.”
“I’m seventeen! Why should I be expected to rise above anything?”
“Because I need you to, that’s why,” Avery said through gritted teeth. “Now slap on a smile and let’s get going.”
“You’re really bossy.”
“Smile, please.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the church.
I expected to see Gracie. I did not, however, expect to see Dean, and I froze as soon as we entered the auditorium.
“Avery!” I hissed, pulling her close to my side. “What is Dean doing here? How is he alrea
dy out of juvie?”
“Good behavior. Didn’t I tell you his parents were making him come?” she asked.
“Um, no you didn’t. Why would you force me to come here if you knew he was here? Don’t you know our history?”
“Cadence, rise above it, okay?”
“I don’t want to rise above it!”
“Cadence,” Avery said, leaning over to whisper in my ear. “I will totally kill you if you mess this up for us.”
“No, because I’ve already killed you.”
“No, I killed you first because you’re being a big baby,” she said.
“Nooo, I killed you first because I hate your guts.”
Avery grabbed my hand and hauled me out the doors. They barely closed before I screamed, “He was in our group!”
“I know that.”
“He brought the cocaine!”
“I know that.”
“I made out with him!”
“I didn’t know that.” Avery’s lips curled into a grin.
“Stop smiling!” I demanded. And then I hid my face in my hands. “I’m mortified.”
Avery pulled on my hands. “Cadence, look. I’m sorry he’s here. But he’s in the same situation as you. His parents are making him come. They monitor him twenty-four seven. I mean, frankly, I think they should. He’s a total dopehead. Or was a total dopehead. But I knew if I told you about him, you wouldn’t come, and I needed you to. Just don’t look at him. Focus on our amazing plan and how it’s going to allow you freedom. Remember that freedom we talked about?”
I nodded reluctantly. “Is he coming back to school?”
“Yes. He starts Monday, I think.”
I growled.
“Will you chill out? If he was as high as everyone said he was, then I doubt he even remembers making out with you.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Oh, don’t be so sensitive. I’m sure you’re a fantastic make-out partner.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s not just about that.”
“Then what is it? And you’ve got about five seconds,” Avery said, glancing at the time on her cell phone.