by S. Walden
My heart melted. Just a little. Dad didn’t usually do nice things like that, and it made me feel extra awful for lying to him.
“Mexican,” I said, and grinned.
Dad smirked. “Well, I guess I can make two stops.”
Who was this man? He should have yelled at me and grounded me for lying.
I practically raced up the stairs and locked myself in my room after Dad left to pick up dinner. I called Avery immediately.
“Yeah?”
“What the fuck, Avery?!” I screamed into the phone.
“What the fuck?” she said, confused.
“You can’t remember that I’m at Mark’s?! You can’t think to lie for me. You’re supposed to be fucking good at it!”
“I had no choice, Cadence. Mom showed up unannounced. She knew you weren’t here. I told her you’d gone home early because you weren’t feeling well. I didn’t know your dad would call her. When the hell did your dad start calling my mom?”
“He called because I wasn’t answering,” I snapped.
“And whose fault is that?”
“Fuck you!”
“No, fuck you, you little bitch. Start answering your fucking phone when people call you!”
“I was in the middle of fucking my boyfriend!”
“Then maybe you should stop fucking around so much and be mindful of your dad so you don’t fuck up our arrangement!”
“Yeah? Well maybe I just needed to get fucked, okay?! I didn’t know that fucking my boyfriend might fuck me over!”
“Fuck!” Avery screamed.
“Ouch.”
“Cadence, what did you tell your dad?”
I huffed. “I lied about going to the mall.”
“The mall? Oh, that’s real good. Good job, Cadence. That’s a really good story. Going to the fucking mall. Wow.”
“He believed me!”
“Uh huh.”
“He did,” I insisted. “I told him I didn’t want to tell him because I figured he’d say no, and I missed going and shopping.”
“This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
I sat silent.
“Well?”
I said nothing.
“Cadence?”
Nothing.
Avery sighed. “Cay-Cay?”
“You’re being really mean.”
“I’m sorry. I am. Look, it’s not a dumb story. If your dad believed it, then I’m sure it’s fine. I just freaked out for a second.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry about what happened. I had no idea my mom would show up.”
“I’m sorry for not answering my phone.”
“Did you see my millions of texts? I snuck them in when Mom wasn’t watching me.”
“No. I didn’t even look. I just called you as soon as I could,” I said.
“Well, give yourself an hour to go through them all,” Avery said.
“I’m sorry, Avery.”
“Okay. Enough with the apologizing. We both screwed up. Let’s just be better, okay? We’re getting a little sloppy. Gotta tighten this shit up, all right?”
“All right.”
We said our goodbyes, and I stayed in my room until Dad came home with dinner. Avery was right: we had some tightening up to do. I just had no idea that my life was moving in the opposite direction of caution. I had no idea how sloppy I was about to get.
***
I glimpsed Ms. Gibbons sitting on Mr. Connelly’s desk, her legs dangling over the front of his side drawers. Who the hell did this bitch think she was sitting in such an intimate position with my boyfriend? The jealousy was instantaneous, and I burst through the door.
“Excuse me?” Ms. Gibbons said, looking at me with annoyance painted all over her face.
“I need to ask Mr. Connelly something,” I replied.
“Well, if you hadn’t noticed, we’re in a meeting,” Ms. Gibbons said. “What you should have done was knock. So go back outside, close the door, and knock politely.”
I’m not a violent person. Ever. But it took all of my willpower to keep from pouncing on her, grabbing her stupid ponytail, and dragging her to the floor where I’d kick the shit out of her.
“Did you hear what I said?” Ms. Gibbons asked.
“It’s all right, Sarah,” Mr. Connelly said. “I don’t mind. Cadence, what did you need?”
What did I need? I didn’t think that far ahead. All I knew was that some bitch was trying to move in on my man, and I needed to burst through the door. It didn’t occur to me to have a reason why.
I stood with my mouth hanging open, unable to think of a reply.
Ms. Gibbons rolled her eyes and turned back to Mr. Connelly.
“Anyway, it’s just gonna be a small get-together. A few of the math teachers. You should come,” she said, and placed her hand on his forearm.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll think about it.”
“Please do,” Ms. Gibbons replied. Her eyes lingered on his for a few seconds before she hopped off the desk. She walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
I stared at Mr. Connelly.
“What, Cadence?” he asked.
“What party?”
“I’ve no idea. Some party Sarah’s throwing.”
“Are you going?”
“Probably not,” he replied.
“Do you like her?”
Mr. Connelly looked at me flatly. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Well, you seemed to like her ass,” I said.
“Huh?”
“I watched you look at her ass when she walked out of here.”
Jealousy. Such an unattractive quality. I was bleeding it, and I knew I looked ugly.
“Cadence, I wasn’t looking at her ass.”
I couldn’t let it go. I knew I should, but I couldn’t.
“I saw her hovering all over you in the cafeteria yesterday,” I said. “Why were you eating with her?”
“Because I’m a teacher and she’s a teacher,” he said.
“So what?”
“I can’t sit with you every day at lunch, Cadence. People might start to wonder,” Mr. Connelly replied.
“And you’d rather eat with her,” I added.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” It was the second time he said it, and it sent me over the edge.
“I’m not being ridiculous!” I snapped.
“Cadence, I have work to do,” Mr. Connelly replied. He sounded bored.
Oh, hell no.
“So what? You’re tired of having a teenage girlfriend now? Wanna go bang some loser high school math teacher instead?” I spat.
Mr. Connelly picked up his pencil and started working. It infuriated me.
“I saw the way you were looking at her!” I screamed.
“Do you wanna get us both in trouble?” Mr. Connelly hissed. “Lower your voice.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child,” I spat.
“Then stop acting like one,” he countered.
“I’m not! I’m calling you out for being an asshole!”
“She’s a work colleague, Cadence. Get some perspective. You know I don’t like her. This has to do with your insecurities. Your out-of-control jealousy. I should have been prepared for this.” He dropped the pencil and walked over to me.
“Prepared for what? The fact that I react like a typical eighteen-year-old girl? Well, I’m sooo sorry I can’t be mature enough for you! It’s obvious you’re so much wiser and centered than I am!”
“Evidently.”
“You’re a condescending jerk!”
“And you’re acting like a little bitch.”
I slapped his face. Hard. So hard, in fact, that he hissed, then worked his jaw side to side to ease the pain.
He grabbed my upper arm. “Do that again and I’ll fuck that eighteen-year-old pussy of yours right here in this room.”
“What?!”
Mr. Connelly yanked me into the storage closet and slammed the door.
> “What, Cadence? Are you really gonna try to act offended? I bet if I slipped my hand in your panties, I’d find out you weren’t.”
I raised my hand to him again, and he caught my wrist above my head.
“That’s getting old. And I warned you. You think this is some movie?”
He trapped my arms behind my back and pulled me close against his chest.
“Is that what you think?” he cooed. It was sultriness and arrogance rolled into one. “You wanna turn this into a movie?”
He crushed his mouth to mine, and I bit his lower lip. I couldn’t blame it on instinct. I did that shit on purpose.
“Fuck!” he hissed, drawing back to look down at my face.
I struggled against him trying to free my hands, but he held my wrists firmly with one hand while his other went to the back of my head. He pulled my hair hard, forcing my head back to an almost unnatural angle. I whimpered.
“I want you to kiss me, Cadence. Without biting me.”
He set his mouth on mine once more, and I surrendered to the kiss. I was completely at his mercy with my head tilted at such a sharp degree. He pried my mouth open with his tongue, tasting me violently, sucking my bottom lip until it ached. I whimpered again.
He released me and spun me around, forcing me up against the back wall. His hands went to the button of my jeans, and I didn’t fight him. I didn’t want to. Something about his kiss changed my entire perspective. He didn’t want Ms. Gibbons. He wanted me. He loved me. And he was about to prove it.
He yanked my jeans and panties down my legs, letting them rest around my ankles. I heard the unbuckling of his belt, and then reality barged in, loud and hostile.
“Mr. Connelly, we’re at school,” I whispered.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he said.
It was the second time he said “fuck.” He never said that word, and it scared me. I saw him out of control for the first time.
“Hold on tight, Cadence,” he said, and I felt his arm reach around my lower abdomen. He hoisted me clear off the floor, feet dangling inches from the cold tile.
“Mr. Connelly, I don’t think—!”
“Cadence, for Christ’s sake. Stop talking!” He plunged himself inside me.
I gasped at the sudden impalement, my body slippery with arousal from our fight. What was wrong with me that a fight made me sexually excited? Or perhaps it wasn’t the fight. Perhaps it was Mr. Connelly’s kiss, his anger, his determination to do me in this closet whether I wanted it or not.
“God, you feel amazing! So tight,” he breathed, pumping me hard from behind while I clutched desperately at the wall.
I felt myself slipping and grabbed at a shelf above me, hanging on while he used my body in a new way. It was rough, but not like the forcefulness he’d used in the past. This was pissed off roughness, and I swear he meant to fuck the bitch right out of me. There was nothing poetic or beautiful about the way he did it. It was raw and animal. Deep, dark masculine desire. And my body responded to it, molded to it, yielded to it.
It didn’t even take long.
I. Came. Hard. But I had the good sense to keep my mouth shut. It was desperately unfair because staying quiet seemed to compound the intensity of my orgasm, and I thought I would die. I thrashed about wildly, unintentionally encouraging his orgasm, and he came in me with a strained cry from somewhere deep in his throat.
He continued to hold me suspended in the air after it was over, breathing heavily.
“Cadence? This’ll be a mess,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Can you reach those paper towels above you?”
I grabbed the roll.
“Tear one off,” he said, and I did what I was told.
He took the paper towel from me and placed it between my legs.
“Ready?”
“For what?”
He set me on my feet at the same time that he pulled out of me, and I felt the instant ooze of semen. I was mortified. We’d always used a condom; I’d never felt what it was like to have semen drip from my body. I clutched the paper towel between my legs, facing the wall because I was too embarrassed to turn around. I heard Mr. Connelly buckle his belt.
“Are you all right?” he asked softly.
I nodded.
“Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head.
“Will you look at me?”
I shook my head again.
He stood close behind me and cupped the paper towel between my legs.
“Are you angry with me?” he whispered.
“No,” I whispered back. “I’m not angry at all. I just feel stupid. I didn’t know this is what happens.”
“I’m sure it’s all out now,” Mr. Connelly said. He took the paper towel and balled it in his fist.
I bent over and pulled up my panties and jeans while Mr. Connelly stood watching. When I was clothed and composed once more, I looked at him. He seemed tired but happy.
“I love you,” he said. “I know you may think I was using you, and I realize I was being rough, but I was showing you how much I love you. I don’t want anyone else. I want you, Cadence.”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist, holding on to him hard.
He leaned over and whispered in my ear. “But I won’t say it wasn’t fun straightening out that attitude of yours.”
I pushed against his chest, hanging my face as I felt it ache bright red. He chuckled and opened the closet door.
“I’m going to the bathroom to get rid of this,” he said, holding up the used paper towel. “You need to eat something before the next period.”
I nodded and followed him out of the room.
***
“What are you doing here? The bell’s gonna ring in, like, five minutes,” Avery said, watching me plop down beside her with a Coke and bag of chips.
“I was told to eat something,” I said, still dazed.
“Why are you all red?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously. “You don’t have P.E. before lunch, do you?”
No, but I had one hell of a workout.
I shook my head.
Avery narrowed her eyes. “Oh. My. God.”
“What?” I snapped.
“You just fucked Mr. Connelly, didn’t you?” she whispered.
“Hush! You wanna tell the whole cafeteria?”
Avery looked around. “Cadence? We’re the only ones at this table. Now did you or did you not just fuck your very hot math teacher at school?”
“Just shut up with the “f” word,” I said. “I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Get over yourself and answer me.”
“Yes! Okay? Yes we did!” I shoved a chip in my mouth.
Avery slapped her hand on the table. “Oh. My. God!”
“Stop saying that,” I hissed.
“Was it good?” she asked, nudging me.
I grinned reluctantly. “Amazing.”
“Where?” she squealed. “Where did it happen?”
“In his classroom closet.”
“Ooo, you two are dirty. I love it!” she said. “Has this happened before?”
“No.”
“Well, what made you guys do it? I mean, talk about taking one huge ass risk.”
“A fight.”
Avery sighed dreamily. “God, I love fucking after a good fight.”
“Will you stop saying the “f” word?!”
“What did you fight about?”
“Ms. Gibbons,” I said, scowling.
“Oh my God. She is such a freaking ho. Was she trying to get with your man?”
I nodded.
“A ho and a bitch,” Avery said. “But I don’t get it. Why’d you get mad at Mr. Connelly over it?”
“Can we talk about something else?” I asked, stuffing my face.
“Oh, I get it. You were super jealous and decided to pick a fight. Am I right?” Avery asked, grinning.
“Maybe,” I mumbled.
“Jeez, Cadence. Grow
the fuck up already,” Avery said.
“I’m leaving if you say that word one more time,” I warned.
“Fine. But you need to grow up,” Avery replied. “I mean, did he give you any reason to believe that he wanted to get with that Gibbons ho bag?”
I shook my head.
“Then what is your problem?”
I sighed. “I’m terrified of losing him, okay? I’m just this ordinary girl who’s not very good at math. I don’t know why he loves me. He keeps telling me, but I can’t commit it to memory. I’m totally insecure, and I hate myself for it. I don’t want to be the insecure girl.”
“You know what I keep hearing?” Avery asked. “‘I’.”
I sighed again.
“This has nothing to do with Mr. Connelly and the way he feels about you. It’s evident. He fu—”
“AVERY!”
“Sorry. He made love to you in his closet,” she said. “At school. Big risk. That’s total love.”
I chuckled because it sounded so stupid, him doing me in his closet.
“The issue here is you and how you feel about yourself. You need an attitude adjustment.”
“Well, I got one,” I replied before I could stop myself.
“Really?” Avery sounded intrigued.
The bell rang. I stood up, and she grabbed my wrist.
“Sit. Tell. And hurry,” she ordered.
“Are you serious?”
“You bet I am.”
I rolled my eyes. “He did me up against the wall from behind.”
I’ve never seen someone smile so brilliantly. I swear I could see all of Avery’s teeth. Including her back molars.
“But you’re, like, a munchkin,” she said. “Ergonomically it couldn’t work. What? Did he do you on his knees?”
I blushed fiercely. “He lifted me off the floor.”
“Come again?”
“Are you trying to be clever?” I asked.
“He lifted you off the floor? Like how?”
“We’re gonna be late for class,” I replied.
“So don’t care right now. Tell me how he did it,” she said.
“He reached around and hooked his arm around my hips. And then he just lifted me up. Like I didn’t weigh anything. Before I knew it, he was doing me.”
Avery’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “That’s. So. Hot. And impossible. And freaking hot.”