by Rachel Lacey
“Phenomenal,” she answered without hesitation.
“You ready to join us?”
“My keyboard would sound ridiculous on that song.”
“So let’s play something new. I’d love to hear the whole band on ‘Right Away.’”
“Oh, I—” Her mouth had gone dry. The idea of playing something she and Cole had written together in front of these guys? It felt a lot like taking her clothes off in front of them. And yes, she knew it would have to happen sooner or later if she was going to make a real go of it as a songwriter. But right now, at this exact moment, it was terrifying.
“Is that one of the songs you guys wrote together?” Naveen asked.
“Sure is.” Cole’s voice was full of all the confidence she lacked.
“All right. You guys play it through once, and then we’ll join in and feel our way through,” Tom said, setting his bass on its stand.
“Ready, babe?” Cole asked, giving her another big smile.
She chugged the rest of her drink and sat at the keyboard.
Cole swapped out the electric guitar for his Gibson, the one he’d played for all their songwriting sessions at home. Seeing it in his arms brought a sense of calm over her. She could do this. He strummed the first chord and gave her a nod.
She situated her fingers over the keys and began to play. It was a simple tune, more of a background melody to support his guitar and vocals. Cole joined her, his voice deep and raspy as he crooned the lyrics she’d written with him. She kept her eyes on the keyboard, blocking out the fact that there were two other men in the room, professional musicians watching and listening, forming their first opinions of her as a songwriter.
When they’d finished, Naveen and Tom both clapped.
“Yo, that’s not bad. A new sound for you. I like it,” Tom said, lifting his bass guitar to sling the strap over his shoulders.
“I think it needs a slow build,” Naveen said, his expression thoughtful. “Like, what if Jenn plays that opening bar twice, first on her own, and then you join in on the acoustic guitar. Tom and I come in on the chorus to bring it up.”
“I like that,” Cole said, nodding vigorously. “Yeah.”
“I do too,” Jenn agreed. “Let’s try it.”
She inhaled and blew out a long, slow breath, hyperaware that every eye in the room was fixed on her. She played the opening bar of “Right Away” on her own, the digitized piano music the only sound in the studio, and then, without pause, she played it again. This time, Cole joined her on the guitar, and as they reached the end of the bar, he began to sing.
She kept playing, keeping her full attention on the music so she didn’t screw up. Because she was no piano prodigy, after all. She played well enough to entertain guests who’d visited the house when she was growing up, and it had allowed her to sound out melodies while she wrote, since she wasn’t much of a singer. But now, she was feeling the pressure to perform, big-time.
They reached the chorus, and Naveen began to tap out a rhythm on the drums, simple and straightforward as he got the feel of the song, and yet…it changed everything. Tom added in a few rhythmic notes on the bass, rounding out the sound, and goose bumps rose up and down her arms. She wanted to close her eyes and absorb the moment, but she couldn’t because she might lose her place. So she kept her eyes on the keys, playing, listening, marveling in the wonder of this song she and Cole had written at home now being played by a full band.
If she’d had any doubts about her career aspirations, they were gone now. This was what she wanted. This was absolutely amazing. Thrilling. Everything she’d hoped for and then some. Her fingers slipped off the keys, and again every eye in the room was on her.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, scrambling to recover and find her spot, but the song had gone on without her, so she just sat back and watched. Listened. She let it awe and inspire her for every difficult, intimidating moment to come. These little moments were what it was all about, and watching these guys perform a song she’d helped write was her ultimate dream come true. She’d never envisioned herself as part of the music. Her dream had always been to remain on the sidelines, until Cole had pushed her for more.
“Okay?” he asked when they’d finished.
“So much better than okay,” she said, her voice breathless. “That was amazing.”
“We lost you halfway through,” Tom said, sounding amused. “Thought maybe you didn’t like the way we were heading.”
She shook her head. “The opposite of that. I lost my place, and then I just got lost listening to you guys. It was…magic.”
“Told you guys she was a musician at heart,” Cole said, such pride in his voice that she felt her whole body grow warm and tingly beneath his stare.
They played the song again, and again, stopping and starting as they tried out various sounds. Tom made a few suggestions for her piano music that added a whole new zing to the chorus. Naveen had a great ear too, constantly jumping in with ideas and suggestions. Each of them jotted down their own music as they worked, scratching out lines and tweaking them as they perfected the song. By the end of the night, “Right Away” sounded like a real song, the kind of thing she could imagine hearing on the radio. They recorded the final version, and Cole sent the digital file to each of them so that they could refresh themselves on it between sessions.
Listening to the digital playback made the goose bumps rise on her arms again. They sounded good. Cole sounded smooth and sexy, and the knowledge that those piano notes in the background were hers? It did funny things to the pit of her stomach.
“I think we should add this one to the lineup at Styx and Stones next month,” Cole said as they were packing up.
“Agreed,” Naveen said.
Cole looked her straight in the eye. “And I think you should play with us.”
17
Jenn hurried down Central Park West, phone in hand. She was running ten minutes late to her hair appointment, and she absolutely could not stand to be late. Walking as fast as her legs would carry her, she skirted Columbus Circle and continued onto 8th Avenue, headed for the subway station on 57th Street. After she’d had her hair cut and styled, she thought maybe she and Cole should go out somewhere. Her hair always looked so good when she left the salon, sleek and shiny in a way she was never able to replicate without professional help. Maybe they could go to that new club he’d mentioned the other night…
A sharp, staccato rat-tat-tat-tat-tat met her ears, and everything just stopped. She heard screams, felt the warm spray of blood as it spattered her arms and face.
Run. Run…
But her legs wouldn’t move. Her ears were ringing, and the sour taste of terror filled her mouth. Someone bumped into her, jostling her to the side.
“Watch it,” an annoyed voice said to her left.
She wrenched her eyes open—when had she closed them?—to find herself standing in the middle of the sidewalk on 8th Avenue. People bustled by on either side, giving her dirty looks for holding up the flow of pedestrian traffic. She was in New York, not Las Vegas. The sound of a jackhammer reverberated from a construction site across the street.
A jackhammer. Not gunfire.
Oh my God. She was completely losing her grip. Her heart drummed against her ribs, her lungs felt like they’d collapsed, and a cold sweat had broken out across her body. Another person jostled her as they brushed past, shaking her back to her senses. She moved off to the side, leaning against the concrete wall of the office building behind her, gulping breaths until the little spots dancing around the edges of her vision had cleared.
Fuck this.
She needed to find a way to get over these panic attacks—or whatever they were—like yesterday. She didn’t have the time or the patience to deal with it, and now she was another five minutes late to her hair appointment. Screw it. She ducked over to the street and hailed a cab. That shaved ten minutes off her commute, and she used her time in the cab to compose herself.
Two hours later
, still annoyingly jittery but with seriously awesome hair, she walked in the back door of Cole’s town house. The sound of the TV reached her ears. He was watching the game. What game, she didn’t know, but it had commentators jabbering on, a crowd cheering, and the occasional shrill blast of a whistle.
She followed the sound into the living room, where Cole was sprawled on the couch, wearing nothing but athletic shorts, a beer in his hand. “I’m home.”
He turned toward her, a wide grin spreading on his face. “And you look fuckin’ fantastic. Did you do something to your hair?”
“Fresh from the salon. You like?”
“I love,” he said, motioning for her to join him.
She set down her bag and joined him on the couch, allowing him to pull her in for a kiss. She closed her eyes, her chest pressed against his, his lips on hers, and felt herself fully relax for the first time since that awful moment on the sidewalk hours ago. For a few blissful minutes, she just sat there, half sprawled across his body. “Long day,” she murmured finally.
“Want to turn in early? I have all kinds of ideas of things we can do in bed.” His voice rumbled through her, deep and sexy and delicious, and it brought a smile to her face.
“Actually, I was thinking we should go out, you know, while my hair’s looking so fantastic and everything.”
“I like that plan too,” he said, “because we’ll still end up in bed together afterward.”
“Kate doesn’t need me until one tomorrow,” she said, still snuggled against his bare chest with her eyes closed.
“Even better. I know the perfect place. The Lion’s Main has live music every night of the week. On weeknights, they let up-and-coming bands and musicians have a venue to play, and a lot of them are pretty fuckin’ good. Plus, we can have dinner there too.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“I’m playing there with Naveen and Tom in a few weeks,” he said in that low, scratchy voice. It created the most delicious friction over her skin and filled her with warmth. “Really want you to join us.”
She sucked in a breath, and her eyes popped open. He’d been asking ever since their first studio session last Friday. “I never wanted to play for an audience, Cole, only to write music.”
“Potato, po-tah-to. That song isn’t the same without you.”
“I’ll consider it,” she whispered, but after what had happened earlier, her confidence was seriously damaged.
“You could join us just for that one song. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
She didn’t respond, just closed her eyes again, breathing him in.
“I know the manager there. He’s an old buddy of mine, so I can set tonight up for us all on my own.”
At that, she smiled. He was so touchy about her using her connections as a celebrity assistant to make arrangements for them. Just because she made the call didn’t mean she was acting as his assistant, but it was sweet that he cared so much about the semantics. It was just one more little thing about Cole that made him so different—superior—to most men she’d encountered in this business, and just in life. It genuinely bothered him for her to do anything for him that an assistant might, and that said a lot about how he viewed her.
“Okay. You make the call while I go get ready.” She gave him a kiss and then slid out of his lap. She headed upstairs to the master bedroom, relieved to find that the last echoes of her earlier panic had finally dissipated. Cole tended to have that effect on her.
Thirty minutes later, she was dressed in black skinny jeans, knee-high boots, and an aqua top made out of a shimmery material that tended to really sparkle under club lighting. She accented her outfit with a chunky necklace and earrings. Her hair was blown out in glossy waves that reached just past her shoulders, courtesy of her trip to the salon.
“I have got to be the luckiest man in the universe,” Cole said from behind her.
“Why is that?” she asked, turning to face him. Her breath caught in her throat because he’d changed into gray denim pants and a black tee that hugged his muscular physique. His hair was rumpled, his cheeks coated in stubble, and he was absolutely the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
“Because I get to take you out tonight, show you off, and then bring you home to my bed.”
“That sounded very caveman-ish,” she said, walking over to him.
“You bring it out in me.” He drew her in for a lengthy kiss. By the time they parted, her body was warm and needy, and Cole was sporting a rather impressive bulge in the front of his pants.
“We’d better go before you turn full caveman and throw me on the bed,” she said with a playful wink.
His eyes flashed dangerously. “The thought did cross my mind.”
“You can act on those thoughts in a couple of hours.”
“Fair enough.” He reached for her, and together they walked downstairs.
She grabbed her bag and followed him to the back door, where the car was already waiting. They climbed into the backseat together, not talking much as they drove across town. When they arrived at The Lion’s Main, they were ushered upstairs to the VIP lounge where they ordered burgers and beers and chatted with the handful of other people there, all of whom already knew Cole and were subsequently enthusiastic about meeting her too. After they ate, they settled in near the railing of the balcony as the band began to play on the stage below.
Cole moved to the beat, a beer in one hand, the other resting on her hip. She danced with him, careful not to spill her own beer. The band had a female lead singer and a hard-rock sound that was easy to groove along with. Jenn couldn’t help checking for the location of the emergency exits, though. Maybe because of what had happened on the street earlier, there was a tense knot between her shoulder blades that just wouldn’t leave.
“Pretty good sound, hmm?” Cole murmured in her ear.
She nodded, leaning into him so that her back rested against his chest, but she still couldn’t shake the feeling of unease rippling through her. The band was great. The venue was great. Present company was great. When was she going to get over this anxiety around concerts and loud noises? Tomorrow, she’d call her therapist again and come up with a plan, because she was not okay with living like this.
To distract herself from her own mind, she turned and kissed him. He reached around her to set both of their beers on a nearby table and pulled her into his arms. Their mouths met, hot and eager. She closed her eyes, feeling his lips on hers, the warmth of his hands splayed protectively across her back. His kiss lit her up from the inside out like he had ignited a fire deep inside her that only burned when they were together.
It was magic.
“Can you picture us down there together?” he asked when they paused for air.
She followed his gaze to the stage below. The band was still going strong, singing a song about forbidden love. “I can picture you down there,” she said finally.
“I see your keyboard over where their guitarist is standing.” He nodded toward the spot, a reverent look on his face. “You’re flanked by Naveen and Tom. I can’t wait to test out the crowd’s reaction to our new music.”
“You do this a lot, then?” she asked, steering the conversation away from herself.
“Yeah. I play clubs like this one while I’m writing new music. Helps me get a feel for which songs are crowd-pleasers, and I find that playing live really reenergizes me. It gets almost stifling sometimes when I’m locked in the studio day after day.”
“I can see that. Is the show here the first one you have scheduled?”
He shook his head. “The second. We’re playing Styx and Stones the week before.”
“Okay. I’ll watch you guys the first time, and then maybe I’ll join you when you play here.”
“I like the sound of that.” His arms tightened around her, and he cupped her chin to bring her lips back to his for another kiss.
“You ready to get out of here?” she whispered against his lips.
“So
ready.”
“I think it’s time for that caveman act we talked about.”
By the time they made it home, Cole was already rock hard and aching for Jenn. At first, he’d attributed his overwhelming need for her to his dry spell before her, but they’d been sleeping together for almost two weeks now, and the intensity of his desire hadn’t ebbed. If anything, it had grown stronger.
“Much as I love that new hairdo, I’m ready to muss it up,” he growled, pressing her against the wall in the entrance hall so that his cock rested between her legs. He slid his hands through her hair, anchoring them across the back of her head. “Soft as silk.”
Jenn let out a breathless sound, arching her hips against his while her hands slipped beneath the bottom of his T-shirt and gave a solid tug, lifting it over his head. He released her long enough to get rid of the shirt, and she used the momentum to slip her own top over her head too, revealing a skin-colored strapless bra beneath. He popped the clasp, and it fell to the floor.
She leaned forward so that her breasts pressed against his chest, kissing him while her hips moved against his. He lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him while her mouth ravaged his and their hips thrust together.
“Need you so bad,” he mumbled into her mouth.
She clutched at his shoulders, grinding herself against him. “Too many clothes.”
Next thing he knew, she was fumbling with the button of his jeans. The hiss of his zipper being lowered made everything inside him heat up. Then they were scrambling, frantic, until their clothes lay in a crumpled heap on the floor around them. He held the condom from his wallet in his right fist. “Here or the couch?” he asked.
“Here,” she said, reaching for his cock and giving it a firm stroke. “And hurry.”
“My fucking pleasure.” He ripped open the packet, sheathed himself, and lifted her, bracing her against the wall. She reached between them to position his cock, and he lowered her inch by inch until his full length was nestled inside her.
She closed her eyes, and the look on her face was so exquisite that he almost came just from watching her. Need rose inside him like a crescendo, as if he’d just stepped onstage for the encore after the biggest performance of his life and the noise and the energy from the crowd hit him with that shock wave of adrenaline that always made him hard as steel.