by Beth Andrews
She couldn’t help it, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. He returned her embrace, didn’t seem to mind that she was a crazy woman—wanton and easy one minute, needy and emotional the next.
He’d wait for her. Because he was attracted to her. Because he wanted to have sex with her. She was a grown woman, had been married, had a daughter. She’d had relationships other than Beau. She understood that sometimes the physical was just that. Physical. That it was all there was for some people.
But she’d had more, so much more with Beau, and she wanted that again. When the time was right. For now, she didn’t know what she wanted. So she’d do what Eddie was doing. She’d wait. She’d spend time with him and see what developed between them.
“Mommy!”
Cass’s cry had Harper hurrying into the living room. Her daughter was awake, sitting on the couch, her cheeks flushed, her hair wild, tears coursing down her face.
“It’s okay,” Harper said, picking her up and holding her close. Rocking her back and forth. “That must’ve been scary, huh? Waking up in a strange place. Shh...shh...”
Cassidy’s cries subsided to the occasional hiccup and she settled her head on Harper’s shoulder.
“Hey, there,” Eddie said to Cass in a low, soothing voice. “Want some apple juice?”
“Juice,” Cass said in a sleep-roughened voice.
Eddie went back into the kitchen. When he returned he handed Cass a sippy cup. She took it and drank deeply. When she was done, she grinned at him. “I want you.”
He held out his arms as if it was the most natural thing in the world to hold someone else’s daughter.
A noise had them turning. Max bolted to a sitting position, his hair damp with sweat, his T-shirt wrinkled, sleep marks on his left cheek.
“You feeling better?” Eddie asked.
Max nodded, stared at his blanket. “I’m sorry I was bad. I’m sorry I said I was gonna run away.”
Eddie shifted Cass to his other hip then sat next to his son. “I’m sorry I yelled.”
Max slid him a sly look. “And that you made me go to my room?”
“No, but in this one case, we can forget about that. But no TV or video games for the rest of the week for taking my phone without permission and for calling Mrs. Kavanagh.”
Max hung his head. “Okay.”
“Is there something you want to tell Mrs. Kavanagh?”
“I’m sorry I called you and said it was an emergency,” Max whispered.
“That’s okay. You know I’m always here for you, Max.” She was starting to become dangerously attached to him—and his father. Not a good idea considering she was Max’s teacher. Quite a few of her coworkers had kids in their classrooms that they knew personally—children of friends, nieces or nephews—but Harper liked to keep her personal and professional life separate so one didn’t cause problems for the other.
Looked as if it was too late for that.
“Why don’t Cassidy and I get out of your way?” she said, remembering how it had felt to have Eddie’s hands on her. She was confused and vulnerable, and while she didn’t usually mind letting her emotions get the best of her, she had a feeling this was one of those instances where it would be better for her to keep her head. “I’m sure you have a lot you need to do.”
She reached for Cassidy, who screamed and buried her face into the side of Eddie’s neck, clinging to him like he was about to join the French Foreign Legion and this was their last goodbye.
“Cass, please,” she muttered, “have some pride.”
Eddie stood, her daughter in his arm, his free hand on his son’s head. “Stay.”
“Excuse me?”
“For dinner,” he added. “I’m making lasagna.”
Max’s eyes widened. “You are?” He sent one of his shy grins at Harper. “That’s my favorite.”
“Brownie sundaes for dessert,” Eddie said. “But we could use some help putting it all together.”
He didn’t, she knew that. He didn’t need help with anything, didn’t want to need help. But he’d asked her to stay, had asked for her assistance, and even though it was for something small like getting dinner together, it meant something to her.
“We’d love to stay,” Harper said, knowing she was somehow setting herself up for a big fall, but unable to stop from making that climb anyway.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“I KNEW YOU and Harper knew each other,” James said to Eddie the next day while they stood toward the back of Harper’s living room, the football game flashing on her big-screen TV, “but I hadn’t realized you had a thing.”
Eddie sipped his beer. “We don’t.”
“No?” James asked with a raised brow. “You sure? Because it seems to me when a man and a woman—a single man and an attractive, smart, funny single woman—sit together at a hockey game and the single man shows up at the attractive, smart, funny single woman’s house to watch a football game, there’s something going on other than mere acquaintances.”
“You’re here,” Eddie pointed out. “You going to tell me you and Harper have something going on?”
“I’m here because I’m with Sadie and because Sadie and Harper are cousins. Sorry, man, you have no excuse.”
“I don’t need one.”
But he felt like he did. He felt as if everyone was watching him, wondering why he and Max were there, trying to figure out if there was something going on between him and Harper. He didn’t even know the answer to that question. All he knew was that he’d had a really good time with her and Cassidy yesterday. He’d taught Harper how to make Pops’s lasagna, and she and the kids had made brownies. It’d been nice. Normal. Exactly the type of situation he’d hoped for when he’d married Lena, the kind of Saturday night he’d dreamed of having with his family.
It’d taken a good hour but Harper had finally relaxed. After what had happened between them in the pantry, she’d wanted to analyze it, discuss it. Not everything needed to be spelled out, did it? He found her attractive. He wanted to touch her so he did. He’d made his intentions clear. He wanted her in his bed. He’d be patient and wait, but he hoped she didn’t keep him waiting too long.
James, obviously tired of not getting a rise out of Eddie, wandered over to talk to Harper’s father. Her house was packed with people. When she did a Game Day—as she called it—she did it big. Her parents, her mother-in-law, Sadie and James, Sadie’s parents and younger sister, Charlotte, coworkers and friends of hers and Beau’s. Eddie felt like an outsider, like all the pieces were round and he and Max were square.
This was a far cry from how he preferred to spend his weekends. He hated parties, hated trying to think of conversational topics, so he stayed in the back of the room, kept his gaze on the television screen. The Steelers got an interception and a cheer rose from the crowd. He shouldn’t be here, but he hadn’t been able to refuse her invitation, not after she’d reissued it again last night before she’d left his house, seeming as if she’d really wanted him there.
Now he wasn’t so sure. Yeah, she’d been pleasant when they’d arrived. Pleasant. Polite. Too polite. Too distant for his taste. Not that he needed everyone to know his personal business but after she’d taken their jackets and told them to help themselves to something to eat and drink, she’d barely said two words to Eddie. Could hardly even look him in the eye.
It hadn’t even been a full day since he’d had her full attention but he wanted it again.
He missed her.
It was stupid, and it pissed him off, but he wouldn’t deny it.
He caught sight of her as she made her way back into the kitchen. She laughed at something someone said, stopped to speak to a middle-aged man, then continued on her way. Eddie followed, stepping into the kitchen as she put dirty dishes into the sink.
He came up behind her and pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.
Squealing, she jumped and whirled around, the silverware in her hand arcing in the air before hitting the floor with a loud clang.
“Eddie! God,” she gasped, slapping her hand over her neck as if he’d been a vampire and had taken a huge, bloody bite. “You scared me.”
Obviously. He shoved his hands into his pockets, viciously cursing the blush heating his cheeks. “Sorry.”
She smiled but it looked pained. “No. That’s okay. I guess I’m just...jumpy.”
He glanced at the doorway. Still empty. “Maybe we could try that again.”
He leaned down to kiss her. She leapt back. “Did you need something?”
You.
He frowned. He didn’t need her. He wanted her. Big difference. Need came with strings and expectations. Expectations came with the possibility of failure.
“A beer?” she continued, already heading toward the fridge. “Or maybe something else to eat?”
He shook his head and she shut the refrigerator door.
“Where’s Max?” she asked.
“Playing with Cass.”
Max, like his father, preferred the known over the unknown and he wasn’t friends with any of the other kids who were there.
“Good,” she said. “That’s...good. Are you enjoying the game?”
“No.”
She frowned, chewed on her lower lip. She looked pretty today, her hair pinned back on the sides, her Steelers jersey hiding her curves. He’d come because she’d asked. He’d come because he hadn’t been able to stay away, just like he’d asked her to stay for dinner last night because he hadn’t wanted to let her go. Not yet. If he wasn’t careful, she’d have him wrapped around her finger, doing everything she wanted, trying to be who she wanted him to be.
He was starting to wonder if that’d be a bad thing.
He moved closer so that only a foot separated them. “I didn’t come for the game or the food.”
“Don’t tell me,” she joked lightly. “You came for the free beer.”
“I came for you.”
Her expression softened and her lips curved into one of her real smiles, one filled with warmth. “That’s—”
“The Ravens just scored,” her cousin Charlotte said as she came into the kitchen carrying an empty tray. She glanced curiously between them. “And we need more nachos before things get ugly out there.”
“No problem,” Harper said, her voice weird. Guilty. She grabbed the tray and practically ran to the other side of the kitchen. What the hell was that about?
“You okay?” Charlotte asked. Long and lean, her bright red hair and freckles reminded Eddie of the old rag doll Maddie had as a kid.
“I’m good,” Harper said. “Just...upset Baltimore has the lead back.”
Sadie came in, looking like a blonde fairy playing gypsy in a long, swirling skirt and puffy shirt, followed by Joan Crosby.
A man couldn’t escape people in this house. Now, because he’d wanted a few minutes alone with Harper, he was surrounded by women.
Joan smiled at Harper. “Anything I can do in here?”
“I’m just going to mix up another batch of margaritas,” Harper said, setting the cheese-laden tortilla chips in the oven.
“I’ve got it,” Sadie said, pulling ingredients from the fridge.
Harper linked her hands together at her waist. “I hope Steve’s feeling better,” she blurted to Joan before looking at Eddie. “Joan’s husband is under the weather.”
Since he had no comment about that, he kept silent.
“Can I make him up a plate for you to take home?” Harper continued.
“That’s sweet, but I’m sure he’d rather just stick with his ginger ale and saltines,” Joan said, not meeting Harper’s eyes.
Something’s going on there, Eddie thought. But it wasn’t his place to point out to Harper that her mother-in-law was being less than honest.
Joan glanced at Eddie, her smile dimming. “Eddie, I hadn’t realized you and Harper were friends.”
“We went to school together,” Harper said quickly.
“Of course. That’s...nice,” Joan said, making it sound anything but. “I hope neither of you mind my saying so, but I wonder if it’d be best to keep more...distance between the two of you. At least until Max is no longer in Harper’s class. I think we all know how complicated these situations can be.”
“Actually,” Sadie said, “Eddie and Max came with me and James.”
Harper sent her cousin a grateful look. Eddie narrowed his eyes.
Son of a bitch.
This, coming here, was a mistake. She didn’t want him here, didn’t want anyone to know there was something going on between them. He never should have touched her yesterday. He was getting all mixed up. Confused. She was confusing him, making him think thoughts he didn’t want, making him want things he’d long ago given up on.
He’d made that mistake once before, he wouldn’t do it again.
“Thanks for the beer,” he said, handing Harper his empty bottle before walking away.
“Max,” he said, sticking his head into the playroom, “get your stuff.”
Harper came up behind him. “You’re leaving?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”
He wished he didn’t have to look at her, that he didn’t have to see her confused frown. “I have things to do.”
“At least let me walk you out—”
“We know the way.”
* * *
HARPER WATCHED EDDIE’S back as he walked through her living room and out the door. She was glad he was leaving—which only made her feel guilty.
Why not? She’d felt guilty all day, might as well heap some more onto what was becoming quite a large pile. She hated this. Hated feeling so torn, so sneaky, as if she didn’t even have a right to invite a man to her home. As if her friends and family were watching her, judging her.
Hated that she’d done or said something that had hurt Eddie’s feelings, made him feel as if he wasn’t welcome there. As if she didn’t want him there.
She hurried outside, caught up with him as he held the door to his truck open and Max climbed in. “Is something wrong?” she asked.
He faced her. “You tell me.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
He just watched her. Waiting. Patient.
He shifted. Okay, maybe not so patient.
I’ll wait for you.
He’d told her that but maybe she’d taken advantage of his willingness to give her time, his understanding.
“Look,” she said, “if you’re mad at me—”
“I’m not,” he said, flicking her a cold glance.
“You are. I’m sorry if it seemed as if I was ignoring you—”
“You’re embarrassed by me.”
Her head snapped back as if she’d been slapped. “That’s ridiculous.”
“You don’t want people to know anything is going on between us.”
She gripped Eddie’s arm and tugged him toward the rear bumper. “This is all so new and...unexpected. And with Joan here I didn’t want to do anything to hurt her. I didn’t want to...throw it in her face that I’m seeing another man. And I’m not even sure if we are seeing each other,” she said. “We went to dinner, and Cassidy and I hung out at your house for an evening. So who’s to say what’s going on? If anything,” she added quickly.
“Then there’s no reason for you to be embarrassed or to act weird if I go to your house. If nothing’s going on between us. You could barely look at me.”
“That’s not true.” But instead of sounding certain, her voice came out thin, as if she was lying. Oh, God, she was so lying.
He
checked on his son then edged closer to Harper, lowered his voice. “I’m not a lawyer. I work with my hands. I sweat and my work is hard, sometimes dirty work but it fulfills me. I’m not comfortable around people I don’t know. I can’t talk someone into doing something. I’d rather keep my thoughts to myself.”
“Wha...what are you trying to say?” But she was afraid she already knew.
“I’m not Beau. And that’s not good enough for you.”
“That,” she said firmly, “is not true.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I just need some time. You said you’d wait.”
He nodded but looked as if he regretted giving her that promise. “How about when you’re ready, you just let me know. You can sneak over to my house and no one has to know what you let me do to you.”
“Ouch,” she whispered.
“The truth often hurts.”
But that wasn’t the truth.
Was it?
“This has nothing to do with my being embarrassed of you,” she insisted. “It’s just not anyone else’s business.”
“You’re right. It’s not. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of either.”
His quiet words almost undid her. He brushed past her and climbed into his truck. She stepped aside while he backed up. She wasn’t ashamed of him. He may not have done well in school but he was bright and creative. He may not charm a crowd but he spoke the truth, and the words he said mattered.
And she’d somehow made him feel less than because she was afraid to move on. Afraid to admit to her feelings, to let people know that she was seeing someone else.
Was that so wrong? She could hardly spring him on everyone, let them all know that, hey, even though Beau had been dead only eleven months, she’d put her feelings for him aside and decided to move on with her life as if he’d never been her husband. As if she hadn’t loved him.
It had nothing to do with Eddie. Not much to do with him. Except he didn’t understand that. He thought she considered him somehow less than Beau. She’d hurt him. She didn’t want to hide him away like some dirty little secret, but that was what she’d done, she realized. That was how she’d made him feel.