“Nice work, what did you say?”
“I lead them to believe that crucial medical transport was needed for a group of tower engineers pivotal for the security of the north base. I said we already have sufficient medical supplies for the time being, but require immediate transport. Then he asked me for my identification and clearance level. After they verified my information over the computer, and with having no one to give the orders, they turned around. Not bad huh?” gloated Square Face.
“Not bad at all,” said Gene.
Chapter 14
The Map and Uncle Mark
“There's a cannabis farm about 80 miles from here. I've seen a large cylinder gas tank in the area. I pass by it all the time. It's going to run us near empty on gas, but I don't think we have a choice. There's a gas station closer by, but the hurricane demolished it by now. What do you guys think?” asked Russell.
“Well, I have enough gas for 80 miles. Gene?” Buckoy petitions.
“It's been a while since I've smoked. Hell, it's almost worth it just for that. Does anyone have a Bob Marley CD?” asks Gene.
“I'm guessing that was a yes, and I do have one somewhere around here,” Eagle Eye said as he searches through his CD case.
“Russell, you got that map Uncle Mark left for us?” requested Gene.
“David has it tucked away somewhere,” replied Russell.
“It's in the Hummer's glove compartment. I was worried I'd lose it, so I left it in there for safekeeping when Eagle Eye and I was listening to Black Sabbath by the Hummer in front of the mansion,” answered David.
“It appears he intended us to travel to Lake Tahoe,” construed Gene.
“That's clear up in Nevada isn't it?” asked Square Face.
“Yea, how did you know that?” Buckoy suspiciously questioned.
“They did a scene there in 'Sex in the City',” Square Face clarified, “That's a long way from here. I know of a lot of shelters around here advertised online to wait out the storm. Sadly, I was ordered to eventually hit these places, but do you guys think it's a good idea to go miles out of state?”
“Do you know about Mark D. Rifle? Don't even get me started with him,” started Gene.
“Here we go,” said Buckoy.
“My uncle would never lead us on a wild goose chase. We were born into a military family. He started out as a private just like anyone. Never asked for favors. Known for his cunning seriousness. Gained rank from his reputation of dominating various strategy games. He's a guy that was fascinated by history books. Just give him 5 minutes and he'll make a lifelong impression. By the way, his middle initial D. stands for Done, he always finishes what he starts,” tailed Gene.
“Mark is a close friend of mine from boot camp. We met each other managing one. Growing up, his parent's attitude with the strictness level depended on one thing; as long as he does well in private school, he can do whatever he wants. Mark loved smoking weed, as much as he loved winning both sides of a debate. He started smoking at the age of 14, and not too long after, he joined the school's Speech and Debate. Smoking gave him new ideas and core values that have motivated him to go above and beyond his assigned studies. After having credits to graduate as an honored valedictorian at age 16, he was peer pressured to stay another two years to play football as a Rhino. He figured he could use the physical challenge. All kinds of prestigious universities wanted him. MIT, Harvard, you name it. But he didn't want to become a lawyer or engineer, he wanted to serve his country; and he wanted to start from the bottom, just so everyone would know,” narrated Eagle Eye.
“I was there when he made his first real tough decision. We were football buddies at a school military gymnasium recruiting event. Deciding on rather to join the Air Force to become a pilot, or to join the Marines and become a Navy Seal killed him. He eventually chose to join the Marines because he would rather lead a troop into battle, than to be air support. I followed in his footsteps because I admired this guy. So now here he is today, a three star retired general volunteering to enlist in the Safe House effort in Nevada. Like Gene said, Mr. Rifle would never lead us out this far if it wasn't the safest place to be,” Sir King concluded.
Chapter 15
Farmer Joe
Now 10 miles from their destination, the smell is in the air. David wonders why people so often complain about how farms reek like hell. It smells like a pleasant fart. Kind of hard to imagine, but the smell is in no way repulsive. He chuckles from trying to nail a word to it. David starts talking to himself, “Cannabis farm huh, isn't that the plant telecasters be talking about on the news all the time. Dad referred to it as the magical plant. 'The mystical herb that will get you started in thinking of all kinds of things.' There's been a lot of commotion about legalizing it. I remember them saying that the approval rating has gone up at a steady 10% each year; at least for the past few years. What's up with getting high and listening to reggae all about anyway? Will I be like that if I smoke? A few of my friends at school smoke. They all seem much more mellow and happy then the rest of the crowd. Except when they start passing a bag of Ruffles around. People start getting serious about telling each other to pass the bag. What was that popular excuse? 'Oh my bad, I was zoning off. Crazy shit.' Not to mention getting all raddled up over drawing cards for the last chip. Seriously? I thought that was funny as hell. I would have just had an ace in the hole and pocketed a chip. After the winner of that draw ate what he thought was the last chip, I'd pull mine out and eat it. 'Got cha. I win.' Of course, knowing them, they'd probably bug me for a while saying, “Hey, you holding out on us? That didn't look like any harvest cheddar. I saw something like a red or blue Doritos chip. You got that new shit don't you? Come on man, share the wealth. We just smoked you out!” Funny people. Hopefully, if I play it cool, dad won't change his mind in smoking me out.”
“You guys see that? It looks like someone down the road is waving at us. Maybe a farmer or hitch hiker. Should we pull over?” asked Buckoy.
“Not to sound racist, just not if he or she looks Korean. Not after what we just went through,” said Gene.
As they approached the man, he turned out to be a red neck farmer. They pulled over next to him.
“Hi, can we help you?” offered Buckoy.
“Hey, my name is Joe. You guys can call me Farmer Joe. As you can see, I grow and have lots of cannabis. I'm really short of food right now. My family fled with both cars from that storm they've been raving over the radio about. I stayed behind to keep an eye on the farm. This whole thing is a big conspiracy if you ask me. Ain’t any way I'm leaving here just because the wind's picking up. And just because God granted the sun and moon some alone time with cloud cover, doesn't mean those damn skeptics are right about their conspiracy,” Farmer Joe informed.
“We have enough food to give you a month's provision. We're looking for a fill up on gas and perhaps a pound of pot my good sir. Can you help us?” inquired Buckoy.
“I have plenty of both. Let me tell you, God is starting to show his sense of humor. He always has your heart in mind though. He knows its limitations; both sorrow and grace, and AL-be-damned if God is not messing with me today. I'm so hungry, I was about to eat my leather boots. Speaking of that, I'd better take it out of the fire. Hurry, please come with me. You guys are going to get some great sleep tonight. With all the horses gone, the hay barn doesn't smell half as bad. So, please tell me, do you guys have anything to make spaghetti?” asked Farmer Joe.
“I'm glad to say we do. Here, have some of these power bars. It'll help settle your stomach for dinner. How long have you been out here all by yourself?” questioned Buckoy.
“Almost a month now. But who's keeping track anyways? You know what I mean. I'll tell ya, the Amish didn't see this coming. How are you supposed to keep track of time without electronics when God starts making it seriously cloudy? You can't tell day from night anymore. I guess you could use a bottled water to steadily drip water over time, but that would only take care of the ticking se
conds. Who's going to have the energy to count all those hours? And where's the water going to come from? By the time it takes me to find the well and come back with water, the clock's going to be drained empty. What am I supposed to drink? It's crazy we're all still alive,” stated Farmer Joe.
The reach the barn and start trying to make themselves feel at home. Farmer Joe says he was the official cook in the family, and so he offered very politely to have the honors. Looking at the burnt boot, Sir King offered to help and David wanted to watch. Relieved, Russell, Eagle Eye, and Gene left to fill the gas tanks. Buckoy and Square Face go around scoping out the place.
Once it came time for dinner, they all gathered around Farmer Joe's fairly big dining table. The seats were haystacks, but what the hell, the table was nice. Joe started with the prayer, “God, thank you for this delicious meal in front of us today. Thank you for bringing such friendly guest to my door steps. I pray that people don't misunderstand your way of teaching, and may everyone here live long full lives. If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to pass this bong around the table before we start eating.”
“Sounds good to me Joe, we all haven't smoked in a long time. Some of us have never smoked before. I suggest we all get high tonight and embrace our blessings. What do you say Russell?” asked Buckoy.
“I'm down. David? Would you like to try some of the sticky icky?” offered Russell.
“Sure dad, I'll get high with you guys for the first time,” David casually responded with a hint of enthusiasm.
Thank yous to Farmer Joe went around the table. They all got high and complimented him on seasoning the spaghetti so well. It turned out fantastic. Sir King and David started a conversation about how Farmer Joe has a grip load of unlabeled seasonings ordered strictly by color nicely aligned in a cabinet above his stove. After an hour of chitter chatter, the yakety-yak dies down. They noticed Farmer Joe stopped talking for the past couple minutes.
Chapter 16
Square Face's Formal Oath
After getting high for the first time, Square Face started tripping out over Farmer Joe's religious talk and started thinking of Mr. Rifle's success story. Recognizing Mr. Rifle's idea and approach to an American dream gave Square Face an embraceable hope that he too can start from the bottom and get where he wanted. He idolized this country for empowering such extraordinary leaders. He broke out, “I'm saddened that your way of life would sound impossible to my home community. I must be a part of this movement for freedom. I just hope my past actions with your crew shows that I am indeed an honest and trustworthy man.”
Farmer Joe broke his silence, “I can't believe this. So it's fact huh. I secretly resented him at first, but I was still willing to smoke him out because I thought he was an American serving with you fellas. Now that I know he was a part of that N. Korean terrorist plot that killed both my wife and 25 year old son, I have to say that you men are no longer welcome here. N. Korean terrorist lovers are not welcome in my home. Please leave now, before I do something rash. I suggest you head down to the Catholic Church 5 miles down the road. There you'll find Father Steve to beg forgiveness to. Good day to you all.”
“I thought your family fled from the storm,” inquired Sir King.
“I lied. I was just seeing if you guys knew. Let’s just hope we don't run into one another in the future okay? Thank you for the food. Goodbye now,” parted Farmer Joe.
They respected Farmer Joe's demand and left without further conflict. Gene thought it would be a good idea to head 5 miles to that church. He said, “Square face, it'd be an honor to have you come on board. Don't mind Farmer Joe, it wasn't your fault. We're going to take you down to the church where you'll get a chance for confession and a formal oath.”
“Thank you Gene. I won't let you down,” accepted Square Face.
It didn't take long for them to reach the front parking lot of the church. Once inside, they all scattered and did their own thing.
Russell and David sat themselves on the front bench and started praying.
“I hope one day Farmer Joe will realize that good people can be misled to do bad things,” prayed Russell.
“Hi mom, it's me. I hope you're doing well up there. I just got high for the first time today. I enjoyed it a lot until Farmer Joe kicked us out. He was a good man; I hope he will soon cope with his loss,” prayed David.
Gene led Square Face to the confession room. There, they met Father Steve on the other side. Gene said it's going to be Square Face's first time. Father Steve welcomes him in. Square Face requests to acknowledge his sins out loud in Korean. Father accepts. It took about 10 to 15 minutes in there, and Square Face comes out a bit emotional.
Sir King, Eagle Eye, Buckoy and Gene are waiting at the podium to swear him in. Sir King is to the left holding an American flag. Eagle Eye's to the right holding an Oregon flag. Buckoy held out a bible in the front middle for Square Face to put his hands on, and Gene's at the podium about to lead the repeat, “I, your name, solemnly swear off my ties to the N. Korean dictator, to protect the American citizens, and to embrace liberty and justice for all.”
Square Face follows the repeat and adds, “Till the day I die.”
Chapter 17
Destination Lake Tahoe
It was an estimated 5 day trip taking the back roads, but it only took 3 days with lady luck. Early the second day, they ran into a premium gas semi-truck at a truck stop. Square Face bragged a little about his truck driving days for this KimChi business before joining the military. Offering to drive, he said he'd be more than happy to help. He got the part.
The semi-truck allowed them to focus on a more logistical back path without having to pit stop for refuel. They stopped twice a day for breakfast and dinner. Lunch is always junk food in the car.
Once they reached the border of Lake Tahoe, stagnant traffic was so abundant in all directions that Gene decided to hike the rest of the way. At about 90 miles from the mark, and 80 miles for possible radio contact, they started a debate on how to approach it. Buckoy wanted to risk a longer hike towards downtown Lake Tahoe in search for ATVs. Downtown is 20 miles away and 12 miles off course. After little commotion, they unanimously decide to head downtown.
“It's surprising to see all these abandoned cars and empty skyscrapers with no survivors in site. Where did they go? We were only in the basement for a month. Now the thriving veins of this city are dried up. How did it happen?” questioned David.
“Uncle Mark will have the answers,” said Eagle Eye.
They detoured to more than one department store before finding enough mobile transportation: an ATV at a G.I. Joe's hidden under some debris, two motorcycles at a Honda dealership, and multiple bicycles at a bike shop. Russell and David road the ATV, Gene and Sir King road the motorcycles, and Buckoy, Square Face, and Eagle Eye road speed bikes.
After 15 miles of riding, now 87 miles from their destination, Buckoy's leg gave out. Gene and Sir King switch rides with Buckoy and Square Face. Eagle Eye trades with Russell. The trip continues for another 30 miles and then Gene calls it a day.
They started camp in the middle of a rarely seen four way empty intersection. Earthquakes were still happening, so staying in a building came to be a bad idea. Gene and Russell stay up and play chess next to a campfire Sir King managed with debris. Russell couldn't go to sleep because he was off his medications. Gene, although exhausted from the trip, stayed up from the excitement of being so close. Sir King is just a pyromaniac who loved maintaining campfires. Buckoy and David went to sleep. Eagle Eye sat on top of the Hummer keeping lookout and monitoring channel 23. Square Face went for a tour walk around the city. He is fascinated by all the unique structures and unbelievably tall skyscrapers. Square Face comments to himself, “I can't even see how high this building goes with my flashlight. Just amazing.”
Chapter 18
An Ambushed Awakening
It was a surprise attack. Looking around, Eagle Eye couldn't see them, but their voices were clearly echoing in from many
directions. The voices were American, but he was still nervous. They might think we were N. Koreans.
Pressured to make verbal contact, he didn't wake anyone up. He grabbed his radio and found the batteries were dead. He quickly changed them with spare batteries form his side pocket. The first interception to came over the radio is, “Be on high alert, assemble an aggressive formation around this area. We've already caught one N. Korean around here. There could be more than meets the eye.”
“Shit. Not good. Not good,” Eagle Eye utters to himself, “Hold fire, we are here under orders from Sir Mark Done Rifle. He's a three star general who happens to be my partner's uncle. My partner Gene is sleeping in this tent as we speak. Our destination is to a Safe House located approximately 57 miles from here.”
“Put Gene Rifle on the line. Move slow, and don't trying anything foolish. We have you surrounded,” ordered their squad leader.
“This is Gene. I'm a two star retired general coming to pitch in. My driver's license number is 7789425. Look me up, you'll see,” established Gene.
“Sir, please walk towards the flashing light to verify your ID with a thumbprint please,” ordered the squad leader.
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