“The little shit hadn’t stood a chance.” His chest expanded as he resisted the upswell of emotions.
“Don’t hold it inside.” She moved, raising herself up enough to look at his face in the darkness. He could barely make out her murky features. “It’s not good for you,” she said, resting her hand on his neck. “Let it out, Jimmy. I promise I won’t judge you.”
He exhaled on a harsh laugh. “I’m okay. It’s just…aside from the inquiry committee…I’ve never told that story to anybody.” He cupped her face and found wetness on her cheek. “Why are you crying, darlin’? You didn’t even know Big Rig.”
“My tears aren’t for him, you silly man. They’re for you. And the devastation you must have felt. That’s why you quit the SEALs. Oh, Jimmy—”
“The committee ruled it an accident of friendly fire. They swatted me on the ass and sent me back out into the field. I got to walk away from a murder free of charge, just like my daddy did.”
She squeezed his shoulder. “You are nothing like your father! The situations couldn’t be more different.”
Jimmy shook his head. “You don’t even know how he killed my mother.”
“Tell me then.”
“The bastard mentally and physically abused her for years and her pregnancy with Jonas didn’t stop him. He wanted to her to lose the baby, but somehow she managed to carry it to term. She was so weak and malnourished when she went into labor she died hours after giving birth.”
“I’m sorry, Jimmy,” the Duchess said softly. “I was right, though. You’re nothing like him. Your father was a very bad man who preyed on an innocent woman.”
Jimmy flinched as her words echoed their situation. He had to tell her the truth. Somehow, he had to find a way to tell her. “Duchess, I—”
“You tried to save your friend’s life and it went horribly wrong. You didn’t walk away free of charge. You’ve been punishing yourself for the past decade. It was an accident. One that you paid dearly for. It’s time to forgive yourself and move on.”
“I ain’t looking for forgiveness,” he said.
“That’s too bad, because I’m giving it to you. Somebody has to. Let it go, Jimmy. Let your friend rest in peace.”
It was shocking to have forgiveness thrust upon him when he wasn’t expecting any. Big Rig’s widow had forgiven him a long time ago, but it didn’t count because she didn’t know all of the facts. To consider letting go of the guilt when it had become such an intricate part of who he was felt strange. And yet, a part of him longed to let go of it and forgive himself for the tragic accident he’d caused in his dumb-assed youth.
Sophie slid on top of him and straddled his hips. His body was instantly intrigued. “You’re thinking too much,” she said as she reached between them and took him into her hand. Blood rushed from his brain as she began to stroke him. “Just give it some time and you’ll see I’m right.” She shifted across his body to reach into the opened nightstand drawer. She came back with a condom packet.
He sucked in a harsh breath when she slid the condom over his erection.
“Darlin’, I have to tell you something. I—”
“Hush,” she said, putting her finger against his lips. She kept it there as she concentrated on filling herself.
When she was firmly seated, she braced her hands on his chest.
His skin prickled and hummed, and his erection twitched with the need for friction. He gritted his teeth and curled his fingers into the bed sheets, forcing himself to be still.
When she finally started to move, it still wasn’t enough. She rode him at a measured trot, like a lady putting her stallion through its paces. Jimmy’s eyes had finally adjusted to the low light and he saw her clearly now. Her regal posture was a seductive contrast to the unfettered beauty of her breasts bobbing gently with her movements. She was the portrait of “The Wanton Duchess.” A work of art, if he ever saw one. Pressure gathered in his lower back and his balls tightened, but he resisted the urge to take over and finish it. This was all about her pleasure, not his. His could wait.
Too soon, this moment in time would be gone forever and he would never see her in this glorious state ever again. He regretted that. He regretted the fact he would never see her lift her chin and sniff at him when he was being a knucklehead, or see her nose wrinkle with irritation when he said something she didn’t find amusing. He’d never see her tropical green eyes glaze over with lust when he came inside her and rode her until she shattered in his arms.
“I can’t get there.” Her pace faltered and she slumped forward.
“Why can’t you? You’re almost there, Duchess. Don’t stop now.”
She grunted in frustration and started moving again, but not quite as gracefully as before.
He couldn’t hurt this woman. He was nuts to think he could. If he took her father away from her, she would hate him. And he knew he couldn’t bear seeing that hatred in her eyes.
When she sought his mouth for a kiss, he brushed the sweat away from her brow. He was drenched from the effort of holding back.
“Help me,” she whispered against his mouth and his heart constricted.
“Sit up and put your hands on the headboard.” He scooted up until his head bumped the wood and she could reach. “Now, brace yourself, darlin’, and ride.”
He guided her hips with his hands and drove upward to meet her downward thrusts. Their rhythm increased until she was galloping at full tilt, her tits bouncing wildly as she strained for the finish line. He let go of her waist to cup her breasts. When he rolled the distended nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, she groaned deeply and her inner muscles contracted violently around his erection. He grasped her hips and surged upward, slamming into her once, twice, a third time, until an atomic bomb detonated inside his brain and he followed her over the edge into oblivion.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Sophie lifted her face toward the warmth of the morning sun. The narrow dock she stood on protruded from Saba’s rocky coastline. A warm ocean breeze ruffled her hair and wrapped the skirt of her sundress around her legs. Her skin was still hypersensitive from the amazing night she’d shared with Jimmy. Her muscles ached in places she didn’t want to think about, but nothing, not even the sailboat they were waiting for, could spoil how wonderfully alive she felt.
She was in love.
Madly, stupidly, unexpectedly in love.
This was what it was supposed to feel like. The affection she’d felt for Andrew, the man she was supposed to marry, was a tepid kiddy pool compared to the hot, riotous sea of emotions she felt for Jimmy Panama. Love wasn’t supposed to be safe or predictable. Love was a risk. Something one fell into. It was meant to sweep you off your feet like a tadpole in a tempest.
The metaphor made the smile on her face widen.
Jimmy called her name and she turned to see him walking down the dock toward her. When he was in earshot, she said, “Was that Jonas on the phone?”
Jimmy shook his head. He stopped in front of her and took both of her hands in his. “That was my buddy from the airport. He said two suspicious-looking characters just got off a plane. They didn’t look like typical tourists.”
“Albatross’ men.”
“That’s what I’m thinking.” He slid his arms around her waist and tugged her closer until they were chest to chest.
She settled against him, draping her arms around his neck. “As lovely as our time in Saba has been, I’m ready to leave. I feel cornered here.”
“We’ll be gone before they can figure out which way we went.”
He bent his head to kiss her. When his tongue brushed against hers, a thrill spiraled through her belly and she sighed into his mouth.
It had been like this all morning.
Jimmy had been sweet and attentive since waking her up with a slow, burning kiss similar to the one he was giving her now. He’d taken her leisurely this morning until she was writhing beneath him mindlessly and they both came together with the subtle bu
t violent force of a tsunami. Afterward, while she took her turn in the bath, he went up to the main house and gathered breakfast to bring back to the room. They’d picnicked on top of the bed, feasting on homemade blueberry muffins, tropical fruit slices, and hot coffee. It was the perfect ending to a perfect night.
And yet, the magic hadn’t quite ended. It lingered still. In the palpable energy that vibrated between their bodies and encircled them in a blissful bubble like an invisible force field. Hope blossomed in her heart that perhaps their perfect night was just the beginning of something. Perhaps something precious and rare, like her parents had once shared.
“What are you thinking about, darlin’?”
“Nothing,” she said too quickly, and he gave her a puzzled look. She buried her face in his neck to hide her thoughts. “I was just thinking about my father. How we’ve hit a dead end.”
“Maybe not. I’ve been thinking about that letter. Your father talked about Tortola being a haven. Not many people know about you or your momma—”
She pulled back to look up at him. “So it’s unlikely they know about his connection to the island. Do you think that’s where he’s hiding?”
“It’s worth checking out.”
Excitement bubbled up inside her, but she bit her bottom lip to contain it. “Does that mean we’re going to Tortola?”
“I was thinking you might like to see where you were born.”
“Yes, I would.” No longer able to contain her grin, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Finding Mitch on that island will be a shot in the dark.”
“We’ll find him. If not on Tortola, then somewhere else. I know we will.”
He hugged her then, nuzzling her shoulder while she toyed with the silky strands of hair that curled against the back of his neck.
He inhaled deeply. “You smell nice.”
“I’m not wearing perfume.”
“I know.” He lifted his head and started to smile, but something caught his eye. “Jonas is here.”
Sophie turned to see the twenty-five-foot sailboat bearing down on the dock.
“About time you showed up!” Jimmy shouted to his brother when Jonas threw him the line. Jimmy anchored the boat to a dock cleat and then tossed his black duffel into the rear of the boat.
“Good morning, Jonas,” she said with a bright smile. Even Jimmy’s taciturn brother couldn’t spoil her giddy happiness this morning.
Jonas gave her a slight nod.
Acknowledgment. That was progress.
Jimmy’s brother was still dressed in black from T-shirt to shoes. He looked completely out of his element, and yet, he traversed the slippery deck as if he’d been born to the sea.
“Are you ready to go, sweetheart?” Jimmy asked.
She hesitated as she eyed the great white beast swaying gently in the water alongside the dock. The boat’s railing was only a piece of nylon rope strung between four poles. Though she’d faced her fear of the water and relearned how to swim, she wasn’t eager to put her skills to the test.
“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”
Jimmy’s hands settled on her waist. “Aquaman, remember?”
She nodded and smiled at him.
“We’ve got about fourteen hours of sailing ahead of us,” he said. “I’d like to put as much distance between us and Albatross’ bozos as we can.”
“Then let’s go, Aquaman.”
After helping her board the boat, he escorted her to a seat in the cockpit where he instructed her to sit tight and watch out for the boom.
“What’s the boom?” she asked.
“You’ll know it when you see it coming.” He gave her a wink before he hoisted himself up on top of the cabin and followed the narrow walkway around to untie the boat from the dock. Once they were free, Jonas sat across from her, silently steering the vessel until they were well underway.
When Jimmy returned to the helm, he whipped his shirt over his head baring his magnificent torso before taking a seat behind Sophie and relieving Jonas of the tiller. Sophie sank back against Jimmy while he steered the boat with his free hand.
Jimmy’s brother disappeared below deck presumably to sleep and didn’t resurface for several hours.
The sailboat rocketed along like a seabird gliding above the water. A sturdy wind billowed out the mainsail and kept the heat at bay, but the sun still warmed Sophie’s skin. An occasional swell splashed over the gunwale, wetting the deck, but she’d long ago removed her shoes and curled up on the padded bench seat between Jimmy’s thighs.
She was resting against him with her eyes closed when he murmured in her ear. “Are you awake?”
“Yes.”
“Look out to the right.”
She saw nothing but smooth open sea and a cruise ship far off in the distance.
“What am I looking at?”
“Wait for it.”
Several moments went by as she waited. Then, about twenty yards away, the sea bulged just before an enormous gray head breached the surface. The sperm whale rose halfway out of the water only to flop backward with a great splash.
The sailboat rocked gently in its wake.
Sophie’s shriek morphed into delighted laughter. “Bloody hell! That was a whale!”
“She’s got a baby with her. Keep watching.”
A moment later, a considerably smaller gray head came up for air and then sank back down below the surface. The mother whale breached again, plunging up toward the sky before splashing down with incredible force.
Sophie grabbed onto Jimmy’s thighs as the boat rocked harder this time. He locked his arm around her waist and whooped like a little boy. They watched the whales in mesmerized silence until mother and baby eventually turned east and moved away from the boat.
“Did you see that?” Sophie said, spinning around to face him. The wind blew Jimmy’s blond locks back from his suntanned face. The powerful muscles in his bare shoulders flexed. He looked like a surfer at his leisure. Relaxed, at ease, and more content than she’d ever seen him. When he grinned, her heart swelled with love. She cupped his jaw and kissed him, just because she could. The kiss was short but very sweet.
He squinted toward the horizon. “Stuff like that is why I love being out on the water.”
She grinned at him. “That was bloody amazing.”
Jonas cleared his throat from the companionway.
Sophie was draped wantonly across Jimmy’s bare chest. She straightened away from him, hoping her blush didn’t show.
“The creature emerges from the deep,” Jimmy said. “You get any shut-eye?”
Jonas’ face was splotchy with color and there was an impression in his cheek from something he’d slept on. Sophie found it oddly endearing. He was younger than she’d realized.
A maternal feeling brought her to her feet. She went to him and looked up at his hard, expressionless face. “Have you eaten?”
Something, possibly surprise, flickered in his black eyes. “No, ma’am,” he rasped.
“I’m going to root around the galley for something to eat. I’ll make supper for us.”
He nodded and then stepped aside to let her pass through the companionway.
Sophie was stirring a pot on the stove when Jimmy joined her in the cabin. She wasn’t a very good cook, but she knew how to heat something up. She could also make a mean bacon buddy with the correct ingredients on hand. British bacon was not the same as that strip of pork fat American’s referred to by the same name. It was one of the few things she missed from home. A proper English breakfast, the contents of her closet, and high tea at Fortnum’s. Tea… What she wouldn’t do for a nice cup of loose-leaf Earl Grey.
“Something smells good,” Jimmy said as he took a bottle of Corona out of the fridge and twisted off the cap with his bare hand. He leaned against the sink and took a sip.
“Beef stew. I found a tin in the pantry. Will Jonas be joining us?” She had set
the table for three.
“He’ll eat by himself later.”
“Your brother is a bit of loner.” She raised the wooden spoon to her mouth and tasted the steaming broth. Too much salt. She winced. Good thing she hadn’t added any extra.
“He’s always been quiet.”
“How old is he?”
“Twenty-four.”
She frowned, thinking about that. “He seems older.”
“That boy has been to hell and back. It’s a miracle he ain’t dead or in jail.”
As she took the pot off the burner and turned it off, a thought struck her. “How old are you, Jimmy?”
“Old enough.”
“I’m serious.”
“Thirty-six. I’m an old man, Duchess.”
“You have the sense of humor of a fourteen-year-old boy, so averaging that in makes us about the same age.”
“Hey, now.” He rolled up a dish towel and snapped it at her bum.
Her squeal of surprise dissolved into laughter. But when he tried it again, she grabbed the towel out of his hands. “Stop it or there will be no dinner for you.”
He came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. “That’s all right. I’m only really interested in dessert.”
“Well, I’m hungry for food, so go sit down at the table.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Go.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
When they were seated at the table, Sophie took one bite of the over-salted tinned stew and set her fork down. Jimmy, on the other hand, seemed to have no qualms about eating rubbish for dinner. She watched him dig into the bowl with enthusiasm. “Jonas was an infant when your mum died,” she said as she reached across the table for Jimmy’s Corona. Beer would at least make her belly feel full.
“He was.” Jimmy looked at her funny when she took several deep swallows from the bottle.
“I’m sorry, should I fetch my own?”
The corner of his mouth quirked. “It’s all right. I just never pictured you as a beer drinker.”
“Oh, I most definitely am not,” she said before taking another long gulp.
“Most definitely.”
Feeling guilty for finishing off the bottle, she slid off the bench and went to the fridge to retrieve two more Coronas. She gave one to Jimmy. “That must have been very hard on him. Being raised without a mother. What does he do for a living?”
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