“All done,” Kayla said.
“Oh, and each person has to bring their very own barbecue. It can’t be from the Rib Joint and it can’t be made by someone else,” Heather said.
“You mean Everett can’t make Stella’s?”
Heather’s mouth turned up in a wicked grin. “That’s right. She has to make her own or be disqualified. I do hope someone brings pulled chicken, because that is my very favorite.”
“Then you will simply have to save room for Stella’s chicken. Her pulled chicken and her ranch potato salad are her specialties,” Nancy said. “What are you bringing, Heather?”
“Darlin’,” she said sarcastically. “If you will remember, I’m making the punch for the small table.”
Was it really a sin to slap a woman right out in public? And was that considered assault and battery, which was a felony, or would Jack call it disturbing the peace and let her off with a fine?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
On Friday morning, eight days before the ball, Annabel showed up at the Yellow Rose with a poster in her hands. Not just a little legal-size paper poster someone had generated on the computer, but a full-size glossy one showing something like Tara of Gone with the Wind in the background, stating the event’s time, from six to midnight with dinner (not supper) served promptly at eight following the drawing to unite the couples.
Annabel’s dark hair was laced with streaks of gray and if she didn’t keep a healthy supply of rocks in her pockets, a good, strong Texas wind could have blown her plumb away. She never left home without perfect makeup, hose, and heels and most of the time she wore a cute little suit. That day she was in perfect form, smile pasted on and high heels clicking against the tile floor.
“Good morning. I’m the poster girl today for the Yellow Rose Barbecue Ball.” She giggled. “Aren’t these simply divine? Heather did such a wonderful job of designing them. I’d like to put one in your window, Stella.”
She couldn’t say no but she damn sure didn’t want to say yes, so she nodded. Poor Annabel was grooming herself to take on Heather’s job, but Annabel would never be the second coming of Violet Prescott. She simply did not have enough mean in her bones or ice water flowing through her veins. Heather, with or without the fingernail, could fit the bill, so Annabel might as well learn to love the backseat.
“You want to leave it with me or hang it up yourself?” Stella asked.
Annabel flashed a smile. “I’ll be very happy to put it up myself. Y’all just go right on about your business. Don’t mind me. I’ll be done in just a second.”
She looked at the big display window with “The Yellow Rose” written in a half circle and “Beauty Shop” tucked up toward the top, but shook her head. “Not there.”
For two whole minutes she paced across the front of the shop, her heels making a noise on the tile floor like ducks flying south for the winter. Stella kept an eye on her while she combed out and teased up Lillian Thomas’s thin gray hair.
“What is she doing?” Lillian asked.
“Trying to decide where to put that poster. If she takes this much time with every one, it’ll be over before it’s advertised,” Stella whispered. Suddenly, her stomach knotted up and she barely made it to the bathroom before she upchucked everything but her toenails. When she returned, Annabel was still trying to find the perfect place for her poster.
She stopped what she was doing and glared at Stella. “I heard you are the cause of all this craziness. You look a little pale. Are you all right?”
“Yes, she is the reason for the barbecue ball. If she would have just gotten married right out of high school, she could already have her first divorce under her belt,” Piper said.
“Or if she would have chosen her own husband six months ago or picked one of those poor beggars that Nancy drugged and dragged to Sunday dinner, she wouldn’t have been in this mess. And I might add, we wouldn’t be searching for barbecue recipes,” Charlotte said. “And she is pale because she didn’t have time to put on her makeup this morning.”
Stella started counting backward and almost fainted right there in the floor. Holy mother of God! How was she even going to buy a pregnancy test without someone seeing and reporting back to the gossip hounds? Surely she was not pregnant. She was on the pill and it was more than 99 percent effective. Her stomach clenched again and she had to swallow hard to keep from rushing back to the bathroom a second time. She’d only missed one period and she could chalk that up to stress, right?
Annabel whipped around. “Nancy might have started something with her prayer request, but this is going to be the beginning of a whole new wonderful thing called marriage ministry and it will be a cultural affair for Cadillac. Miz Heather is working very hard on it.”
A blast of heat flooded the shop when Nancy pushed through the front door. “Wow, those posters look expensive,” she said.
Annabel was truly flustered. “This is going to be a wonderful event. We couldn’t have anything less than professionally done posters to advertise it. After all, this first ball is the foundation for something bigger and better each year.” She quickly removed the sign saying that there would be no more men’s haircuts given at the Yellow Rose and taped the sign in the window of the glass door. “Good day, ladies. Thank you for letting me put a poster in your window.”
If Agnes is grooming you to be next in line for her title and Heather is dethroning Violet, what’s going to happen to Cadillac? Stella’s inner voice asked.
Who gives a shit about Cadillac? What if I’m pregnant? Stella argued with the voice.
“Will Jed be upset or happy?” Stella mumbled.
“What did you say, honey?” Nancy asked. “I was watching Annabel and didn’t hear you.”
“I was just thinking out loud.”
Nancy pulled out the side of the poster, laid her cheek on the glass, and peeked at the bright colors.
“Hey, you can go outside and look at it from there,” Charlotte hollered.
“Oops,” Nancy said when the poster fell off the window and landed on the floor. “Guess the heat and me messing with it made the tape let go. But don’t worry, I can fix it. When I get done it will stay up there until eternity dawns.”
She jerked a partial roll of duct tape from her purse, held the poster back up to the window and ripped off long strips of gray tape. When it was firmly in place, it was slightly askew and looked like crap from the outside, but she seemed quite happy with her work.
“Good thing I’m following Annabel around. She means well but she just doesn’t have the equipment to work with. I done fixed the ones she put on the door at Clawdy’s and at Bless My Bloomers. I reckon I’ll have to check the one at the convenience store and over at the community center soon as she gets them put up,” Nancy said. “So, Lillian, how’s your garden this summer? Grasshoppers got your cucumbers yet?”
Piper flipped through the hangers at the Ross store in Sherman. She found a cute little black lace dress that might have worked for the ball, but only the outer skirt came to the floor. The lining was supposed to stop at midcalf and let the lace show legs from there down. Piper held it up to her body—the lining would have had trouble covering the elastic in her underpants, so she put it back on the rack.
“I refuse to pay a lot of money for something I’ll only wear once. We should have started looking before it was only a week before the ball. Remember when we were in high school? We fretted about our prom dresses for months on end,” she told Charlotte and Stella.
“But you might get to dance with Rhett again,” Stella said. “Can you believe that Mama duct-taped those signs all over town? Heather is liable to go up in flames and throw her out of the Angels.”
“Hey, I’m just happy she didn’t use a Magic Marker to draw mustaches on the gent and the lady pictured on them. Did you see the way they were dressed? That man looked like a sissy from the last century
with those knee britches and buckled shoes,” Piper said.
“And the lady with her hair all done up two feet high and that ball gown with a hoop skirt sure don’t look like she’s going to a Texas barn dance, does she?” Stella laughed.
“I’d have liked to see Nancy use a Magic Marker to turn the mansion in the background into a barn or a one-hole outhouse.” Charlotte held up a lovely pale-green halter dress with a rhinestone clasp, which would show off cleavage. “Think Boone would like this?”
Stella motioned toward the empty cart they were sharing. “Put it in here and we’ll take it to the dressing room. I’m not going with less than six and I’m not leaving without a dress.”
“And I’m not spending a lot of money,” Piper said.
Charlotte smiled. “Darlin’, we’re in the discount store of the South. I don’t think anything in here would knock too big of a hole in our checking accounts.”
“But after the dress, we’ve got to buy shoes and jewelry,” Piper reminded her.
Stella held up an off-white ankle-length lace dress with spaghetti straps. “I might forgo the jewelry and get one of those temporary tats on my shoulder just to rile Heather.”
Piper picked up another off-white lace dress and held it up. “You should buy this one or at least put it in the cart to try on. Look, it’s got a little train in the back and oh, I do like the satin buttons all the way from shoulders to train. It’s gorgeous and it’s been marked down three times, so it’s a steal.”
“And you are not getting a tat, not even a temporary one. Everett would throw a fit,” Charlotte said. “I think a strand of pearls is what you need with that dress. Borrow your mother’s. Those that belonged to your grandmother. Then you won’t have to buy jewelry.”
Stella took the dress from Piper and put it in the cart. “I like it and it’s in my size.”
“So you are making pulled chicken and potato salad. I think I’ll make broccoli salad and barbecued pork chops,” Charlotte said.
“How in the hell am I supposed to make her eat my chicken? She hates me and sure won’t trust me not to dose it with something,” Stella mused aloud.
“First, you tell her that it’s much too spicy for her delicate nature. Then you tell her that you really made it for Quinn because he has always loved it so much. Believe me, she’ll eat it then.” Piper tossed two dresses into the cart. “I don’t know why we’re buying dresses. If it was billed as a barn dance we’d be wearing tight jeans and western-cut lace blouses.”
“Cultural affair, my ass. This is Cadillac, Texas, where folks get excited about hot peppers and chili, not dancing some fancy waltz shit in a barn. I can’t even picture Boone in knee britches,” Charlotte fussed.
Stella held up a dark-green dress in Piper’s size. It was chiffon over satin with a shorter underskirt, but this one was designed to stop at midcalf, which would put it about knee length on Piper. The halter top was draped in soft folds that would draw the eye to her long, graceful neck.
Charlotte took the hanger from Stella and draped the dress over the cart. “Put your hair up in a messy French twist with a glittery clasp, and Rhett is taller than you so you can wear high heels.”
Piper tossed another dress into the cart. “Y’all are forgetting something very important here. Charlotte automatically gets drawn in with Boone because they are engaged, but there’s no tellin’ who Heather will draw out for me and you, Stella.”
Stella patted her on the arm. “Not to worry. Agnes can do magic from a hospital bed. If she swears you will be dancing and dining at the ball with Rhett, then it will happen.”
Nancy rounded the end of the long dress rack and waved. “Hey, y’all out huntin’ down a cheap dress for this ball?”
“Yes, we are.” Piper raised a hand to high-five with Nancy. “Good job on all those posters.”
Nancy slapped her palm and said, “I used up a whole roll of duct tape fixin’ those posters, but by golly, it’ll take a muscle man to bring them down off the windows.”
“Are you sure Agnes hasn’t recruited you to take her place in Cadillac instead of Stella?” Charlotte asked.
“Oh, no, I don’t have red hair. I’m just a minion for the new queen.” Nancy bent her knees in a bow to Stella.
“Stop it. When she springs that joint, she’ll want her crown back.” Stella laughed.
“You mean her horns?” Nancy said. “I’m surprised, Stella. I thought you might take Agnes’s lead and wear overalls redone into a dress.”
Stella held up the lacy dress. “What do you think of this one? Agnes and Rosalee are the only ones who get to go in fancy overall dresses. Rest of us have to be properly attired.”
“It’s beautiful. My mama’s pearls would look good with it.”
Charlotte pushed the cart closer to Nancy. “Throw whatever you find in here and we’ll all go to the dressing rooms together. We’ve already told Stella that your pearls would be good with the dress. I’m leaning toward this pale green and Piper is looking at the dark green.”
“Well, I’m damn sure not wearing pink or blue or yellow, since that’s the colors of the whole shebang. So it could be that green will be my color, too.” Nancy started going through the dresses in her size.
Stella held up a cute little white eyelet lace sundress with a defined waistline and a full skirt. “I like this for the shower on Sunday. What do y’all think?”
“It’s cute, but it’s a wedding shower. You think you should wear white?” Nancy asked.
Piper pulled another one from the rack. “Here is the same dress in green. It matches your eyes and you could wear your cowboy boots with it. The ones that have that green Celtic cross in relief on the front.”
“That’s a great idea. Y’all buyin’ something for the shower?” Stella asked.
“I’ve got a new capri set I’m wearing,” Nancy answered.
“I’m buying. You know how I love clothes, and a shower is a wonderful excuse to get something brand-new,” Piper said.
Stella saw a grass-green dress on the rack and pulled it out. “Mama, what about this one?”
“Oh, honey, I’m too old and my arms are too flabby to wear something sleeveless, much less a spaghetti strap like that.” Nancy smiled.
“How about with this?” Piper held up a short-sleeved off-white jacket trimmed in satin ribbon the same shade of green.
“It goes with it,” Stella said. “See, right here, it says that it’s a two-piece outfit. Someone must’ve knocked the jacket off and then it got hung on a separate hanger. And for the record, Mama, you work too hard on the farm to ever get baggy arms.”
Nancy beamed. “Thank you, honey. Let’s go try on all this finery and then go across the highway and have us some catfish. I’m treating tonight because y’all are helping me buy something I don’t want to go somewhere I don’t want to go.”
Stella had been planning on finding a way to buy a pregnancy test that evening, but with both her friends and her mama in her company that wasn’t going to happen. She hadn’t mentioned a word about it to Jed and she hadn’t thrown up again, so maybe, just maybe, it was nothing more than nerves that kept her from having a period. And hopefully it was eating leftovers that had made her sick.
Charlotte pulled the cart back and quickly added two more dresses. “Thank you, Nancy. But don’t forget we have to buy shoes to go with these dresses or we’ll have to come back again.”
“Well, crap! I forgot about shoes. Good thing you remembered, Charlotte, because I’m not wasting another night on the most boring thing we’ve ever had in Cadillac.” Nancy sighed.
“It could turn out to be a riot.” Stella laughed.
“Maybe we should have an ambulance there just in case?” Nancy followed the three women and the cart to the fitting rooms at the back of the store.
“Heather has the television station from Sherman com
ing down to cover it,” Piper said.
“Was that girl born stupid?” Nancy frowned.
“It’s the big-city ideas coming out of her. She has visions of grandeur because she moved from Tulsa to little bitty Cadillac,” Piper said.
“Honey, that girl lived in Ripley, Oklahoma, population less than five hundred. She went to college in Tulsa but she wasn’t raised there,” Nancy said.
“So Ripley.” Stella giggled.
“Believe it.” Charlotte laughed with her.
“Or not!” Piper finished the sentence.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Alma Grace wore a chin-length wedding veil attached to a glittering tiara with a cute little floral sundress. Rick was decked out with a bow tie, a garter around his arm, and a top hat. They had the place of honor under a decorated arch in the huge living room.
Tansy swept across the room and hugged Nancy. “I’m so glad you and Stella came today. Come over here and sit beside me.”
Tansy was a self-proclaimed psychic and her predictions were right about 50 percent of the time. The other half she blamed on her crazy cockatiel not doing his part in being her muse. As usual, she looked like a gypsy in a flowing multicolored skirt, dozens of gold bangle bracelets up her arm, and fancy sandals that laced around her ankles.
Charlotte and Piper arrived and Tansy ushered them to seats right behind Nancy and Stella. “This way we can all be in a group. I’ve got dozens of questions about the ball.”
Stella took one look at three eight-foot tables stacked full of presents and whispered to Nancy, “Mama, swear to me that you won’t let anyone give me a wedding shower. I’ll allow a bridal shower with lots of pretty things from Bless My Bloomers, but I don’t need ten toasters.”
“No, ma’am. We like our parties in Cadillac too well for that, but I will promise you that I’ll help write thank-you notes. And so will Piper and Charlotte. That’s what bridesmaids are for. Do you have a fellow or maybe a date in mind?” Nancy asked.
“Maybe,” she answered.
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