A pause of silence and then I could almost see the grin on her face when she said, “You’re definitely taken.”
“That’s all I needed to hear from you, Rose.”
“What do we do now?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course I’m going to worry about it! As insane as it sounds, you might be forced into a marriage before I even get back this week.” The edge to her voice was real, and I knew then that she did understand what I was dealing with.
“They won’t do that, Rose. The choice is mine. There are just so many factors we have to take into consideration before we go public with our relationship.”
“Like what?”
“Well, there are the obvious difficulties we’re going to face with my family and the church. But what about your family? How are they going to feel about all this?”
“They won’t care.”
“You don’t think they’ll have a problem if you marry an Amish man?”
The silence on the other end of the line went on uncomfortably long. When I was sure she wasn’t there anymore I asked, “Rose, are you still there?”
Softly she said, “Yes, I’m here.”
“What’s wrong—did I say something to upset you?” I didn’t get it. She told me herself I was definitely hers. Had the word marry bothered her?
“Um, I was just not thinking quite that far ahead, Noah. You know, I’m only sixteen.”
At least she was talking again. “When’s your birthday?”
“November thirtieth—why?”
“That’s only five months away. Courtships usually last that long anyway and often longer than that.”
“Oh” was all she said in a tiny voice.
Maybe I was moving too fast for her. She was young, and she wasn’t accustomed to our ways. It would take her some time to adjust.
Hearing hoofbeats on the pavement in the distance, and seeing the sun had been replaced by the grayness of twilight, I abruptly realized how late it was. My family would be arriving home soon, and I didn’t waste any time before asking her, “When will you be coming home?”
“Saturday afternoon, I think.”
“That’s good. We’ll meet in the fields again on Saturday, at five o’clock this time. Will that work for you?”
“I’ll be there.”
“I don’t know if I’ll get another chance to call you, Rose, so you be careful. And, Rose…?”
“Yes?”
“Remember that I’m here waiting for you.”
“I know. I won’t forget that.”
“Enjoy the movie.”
“Like I’m going to be able to focus on the movie after this conversation.” The prickle in her voice made me laugh again.
Then she added in a sultry voice that made my blood pulse harder, “Good night, Noah. Sleep well.”
“Good night, Blue Eyes.” Hanging up the phone reluctantly, I laughed, realizing she’d purposely used that warm-honey voice on me to keep me up all night thinking about her—the same way I hoped she’d be thinking about me.
9
Rose
The Thrill of It All
I SHOULD BE happy, lying on the soft blanket, surrounded by my friends with the warm late-afternoon sun soaking into my skin—but nope. I scanned the crowd gathered on the village green, listening to the local rock band do a decent imitation of Kevin Rudolf’s “Let It Rock.” No, I certainly wasn’t happy. I was totally miserable.
Where I really wanted to be was in the cornfield with Noah. But I’d have to wait until tomorrow for that, unfortunately. In the meantime I needed to put on a good act for my friends, who’d dealt with my moodiness the entire visit.
I thought the week would take forever, but actually, my busy schedule had kept the days flying by. Now I was so exhausted that I could seriously go to sleep right here in front of everyone. That was something Sam would do—not me. But here I was with my eyes closed, on the verge of entering dreamland. Worried I’d actually do it, I slowly pulled up into a sitting position, rubbing my eyes. I needed some major caffeine.
Each day had started out at six-thirty in the morning when Aunt Debbie woke me for a long day of dance camp. When I danced I usually forgot everything else, but it had been a struggle for me to stay focused that week. Ms. Lily had taken me aside on Tuesday and, without beating around the bush, asked me what was wrong. I managed to talk my way out of it, telling her the move had taken its toll and that I was missing Mom.
I felt some serious guilt after I said the last part since I hadn’t thought about Mom as much as I probably should have lately. It was a relief not to have all those emotional waves rolling through me at the mere vision of her face in my mind. Letting go of all the negative thoughts was like blowing out a giant gulp of air that I’d been holding in for what seemed like eternity.
For the first time in a long while I felt truly alive again. But the tickling of guilt was there, just below the surface, because feeling good meant not thinking about Mom. And I also felt crappy about lying to Ms. Lily. But I rationalized that it was better to lie to my instructor than to tell her the real problem was just a boy. How lame would that have sounded?
After dance camp each day, my evenings had been filled with dinners at Skyline Chili, movies and the mall, keeping me distracted for the most part. Amanda and Britney had been like masterful activity directors, planning something for every minute I wasn’t dancing. Amanda would arrive promptly at my aunt’s house at five every afternoon to chauffeur Britney and me to our nightly excursions. I should have been having a great time, but I just couldn’t get into it. My mind was always wandering to Noah, and I sure didn’t want to tell my friends about him. They would think I had gone loony and probably try to discourage me from a relationship with an Amish guy.
The quiet, dark nights when I lay awake in bed for hours was the most difficult time of all. That’s when I’d replay every conversation, look and touch I experienced from my short time knowing Noah. It was beginning to wear me down physically to get up early in the morning and dance my butt off each day while my stupid brain wouldn’t allow me to sleep at night. Ugh, I was like one of the walking dead from the lack of shut-eye.
And the thoughts that plagued me at night were harassing me now. What the heck had Noah meant about how my family would feel if I married an Amish man? Was he serious? He sure didn’t sound as if he was joking around. After all, his people got married young, and he was eighteen, ripe and ready for a wife. My face flushed with that thought, and I hurriedly covered it with my hands before someone noticed.
The crazy thing, the absolute insane and ridiculous thing, was that each night that I tossed and turned, I fantasized about what it would be like to be married to Noah. And a part of my brain, a large part of it, in fact, was enjoying the make-believe way too much. Ideas about college and vet school, or owning my own dance studio, began to fade away smaller and smaller, until the life I’d always dreamed about for myself was beginning to seem like a distant memory. I wanted to be with Noah more than anything else at the moment, but I was scared to death of what that meant for my future.
Absently, I chewed on my pinkie nail while I checked my phone. I was so bummed out that Noah hadn’t called again. I knew he would have, if given the chance, but it still irritated me. It was pretty hilarious that he was talking about marriage and he couldn’t even call me on the phone. Even worse—we hadn’t even kissed yet.
With that thought, my eyes traveled over my friends. Amanda was snuggled up to Heath, sitting between his legs with her back and golden head resting against his chest. Britney was up swaying to the music, and Erin, Sam’s old girlfriend, was plastered to his side, whispering into his ear. Whatever she’d said made him laugh. For a long second I watched him brush the blond hair from her face and lightly kiss her cheek.
Feeling like a perverted voyeur, I quickly looked away, sighing. The Amish kids could never hang out like this, with boys an
d girls mixed together, touching and enjoying each other. They couldn’t listen to the band and feel the music pumping through their veins, and they would never excitedly go to the DMV for their first driver’s-license photo.
There were so many things that they would never get to do. But then there were other things, like the quiet evening rides or the nights alone together without the distractions of a TV or a computer.
That thought caused the heat to again spread under my skin, and the only thing I could do about it was reach over to the cooler, take out a soda and press it to my cheek. It only helped a little, though.
“Hey, how are you doing, Rose?” Tyler sat down unnecessarily close to me. Smiling at him, I had to admit that he was cute, with his curly brown hair and friendly green eyes. I might have even gone for him this summer if I hadn’t met Noah. For so long the thought of having a boyfriend wasn’t really on my mind, but maybe I was finally at the point in my life when I actually wanted one.
“Fine. How ’bout you?” I asked as I listened to the band doing another popular rock tune.
He leaned in close to my ear, and I shifted my head away as far as I could without actually moving my butt. He didn’t seem to notice my attempt to escape. He said in a deep voice, “Do you want to go hang out after the concert?”
As usual, Sam picked the worst possible timing to do me a favor when his voice suddenly boomed out, “Hey, Tyler, leave Rose alone. She already has a boyfriend.” I attempted to shoot a warning look at him, but it was too late—everyone had heard. Including Amanda, whose mouth hit the ground, her eyes popping with betrayal.
“What the hell do you mean Rose has a boyfriend? She hasn’t said a word about it all week,” she demanded of Sam. When he shrugged his shoulders and grinned, she rounded on me. “Do you really have a boyfriend?”
“I think boyfriend is a little too serious for our relationship. I mean…I’ve been spending a little time…hanging out…with this guy. That’s all.” I stumbled through, wishing I could just blow away with the wind that was now picking up.
“What’s his name?” Amanda asked, dropping onto her knees directly inside my personal bubble. She was pressing me uncomfortably back toward Tyler, who hadn’t moved yet. I’d caught a glimpse of his face an instant before Amanda attacked me. He wasn’t pleased.
“Noah,” I said softly.
“And he’s Amish. Can you believe it?” Sam’s voice cut the air again like a razor blade, followed by his chuckling. He put his arm around Erin and whispered something into her ear that caused her to look at me wide-eyed and interested.
“Sam, could you just shut the hell up for once in your miserable, good-for-nothing, useless life,” I shouted as I stood in a lightning-speed movement that sent a rush of blood to my head. Without giving the big mouth a chance to respond, I stomped away with furious strides. Yeah, I was being pretty dramatic, I knew, but I felt totally justified—and I needed to get far away from the mophead and everyone else for that matter.
“Hey, Rose, wait up.” It was Amanda. Britney was close behind her.
When she saw the tears welling up in my eyes, she grasped my hands and pulled me to a stop, asking, “Why are you so upset? I was just messing around with you. I mean, at first I was pissed off that you didn’t say anything to me about your first boyfriend, but I understand why you’d feel weird talking about this particular guy—even to us,” she said, glancing at Britney, whose brows were raised expectantly. “We’re your best friends, though. You can talk to us about anything.” She glanced away, pausing for a second before adding, “That is, unless you don’t trust us.”
“No, it’s not you, Amanda. It’s me. I’m just a stupid idiot, that’s all,” I said, feeling I was sinking to an all-new low.
“Let’s go to the car and you can tell us all about it.” She pulled me through the crowd forcefully, past the mobile ice-cream trailer and shops until we arrived at her sporty little red Camaro. An hour later Amanda and Britney knew everything. All the gory details about the sordid four-day-long relationship with an Amish boy that had already progressed into a possible marriage proposal. They had exhausted every possible question and in turn analyzed each of my answers to the point of mental exhaustion.
Looking at them now, their faces bright and thoughtful, I hoped the interrogation was over. Britney was twirling a section of her nearly black, shoulder-length hair absently through her fingers with intense concentration in her brown eyes. Amanda, who looked like a beach goddess from California, simply stared at the steering wheel before turning to me.
“I think you’re being too serious about this, Rose. Just have fun and see where it leads” was all Amanda said. I nodded lamely at her in total surprise. Who would have thought she’d be so open-minded about it all.
“Yeah, and make sure you call us every day with updates,” Britney demanded.
“I’ll try. Do you mind taking me back to my aunt’s now?” Amanda had compassion and granted my request.
For the first time in a week I immediately fell asleep when I hit the bed. I didn’t know if my body had finally had enough, or if what Amanda had said gave me a more restful sleep. But I knew one thing for sure. I would try to have fun with Noah before it had to end.
* * *
The drive home was free of voices except those blasting through the radio in Sam’s truck. He had enough sense not to say a thing to me. Justin was fast asleep in the backseat, having spent a similarly sleepless week with his friends, due to Xbox fatigue.
I’d woken Sam up extra early, whacking him in the head with his jeans to get him moving. That was a fringe benefit of going home early—making him suffer for his big mouth. He didn’t argue with me about it, and here we were arriving home at nine in the morning. I hadn’t seen any activity at Noah’s when we drove past. I wondered if he was lucky enough to still be in bed or if he was out toiling in a field, until my thoughts shifted in another direction when I saw a silver BMW parked beside our house.
Forgetting that I hated him for a second, I looked questioningly at Sam, who shook his head in confusion. We parked and decided to leave Justin asleep in the truck. I rolled the windows down to make sure he didn’t overheat and then walked to the house with Sam.
Intuitively, I knew something was up. I guess Sam did, too, the way he was hanging back with me, in no hurry to reach the house. I got an uneasy feeling as the door started to open before we reached it. We both stopped dead, and my jaw dropped in shock. An attractive middle-aged woman with shoulder-length dyed-blond hair, wearing a short black skirt and a button-up blouse, which wasn’t tucked in, came out the door. Dad was right behind her and for a brief instant before he noticed us standing there, he had his hand on the middle of her back.
Oh, my God. This can’t be happening. My heart stopped, my stomach rolled and I felt faint all at once. I actually started to sway, but Sam’s hand gripped my arm, steadying me.
The look of agonizing guilt on Dad’s face was the worst part of all. The screaming and cussing I wanted to inflict on him just caught in my throat. I couldn’t say anything. All I could do was stand there, dumbly watching the woman mumble to Dad, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She cowardly slipped by us with a tight smile and went to her car. She drove with speed to the road, leaving just the three of us standing there in the new-morning air, waiting for a showdown.
Dad was the first to speak after he regained an ounce of his composure. “Where’s Justin?” he asked with concern, but I figured he was also trying to divert attention from himself.
I still couldn’t talk. I was too numb to move my mouth. Sam, on the other hand, didn’t have that problem.
“He’s asleep in the car. Who the hell was that woman, Dad? Some ho you picked up at a bar?” he said in a high-pitched voice, not holding any emotion back.
“Don’t ever call her that again, Sam,” he said angrily. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to be mad at us when he was the one having the affair.
“What do you
want us to call her—Mom? ’Cause that ain’t happening, I can tell you right now,” Sam said with tempered wrath, somewhat keeping control. I was satisfied with the way he was dealing with the situation and decided to let him continue doing the talking.
With a heavy sigh, Dad slid a hand through his thick dark hair that showed only a touch of gray at the temples. He was in perfect physical condition, a man in his prime. For the first time, the thought occurred to me that maybe he missed Mom for reasons other than those Sam, Justin and I missed her. Well…I guess that’s obvious now.
“Kids, I didn’t mean for you to see that, really I didn’t. I never dreamed that you’d be home so early on a Saturday morning.” He breathed another deep sigh, and with great discomfort continued, “Her name is Tina Nolan. She’s the director of personnel at the hospital. We had several dinners together this week while you guys were gone…and there’s a mutual attraction between us.
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