He’s quiet, stopping to stare out the window, lost in his own thoughts for the longest time. Jason and I watch him. He looks so alone.
“We kept that promise for so long,” he whispers. “It was hard. We had to watch our family die one by one. Our grandfather begged and our father threatened. Alecia was afraid of what he might do to make sure she bore a child. It was easier to force her to carry than it was me. We both knew he was capable of making sure she became pregnant so I helped her run. She hid from him and from what we are.
“You’ve no idea of how hard it was for us. The need to reproduce is embedded in our blood. How were we to know the need to murder our children was not there as well? We couldn’t risk it. There were times it was a physical torture to resist our very nature, but we endured.”
“What changed?” Jason asks him.
“Alecia met John,” Sabien smiles bitterly. “She fought hard, but there was never really a choice. Your father didn’t make it easy for her either. He pursued her with a vengeance. He knew he loved her and real love is not something that can be easily defeated.”
“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing,” I take a deep breath, holding back the giggles.
“For our family it is,” Sabien sighs. “We were to be the last, never to force what we are upon anyone else.”
“Did she leave because she wanted to kill us?” Jason asks softly. The same question bounces back and forth in my head now that he’s voiced it.
“No,” Sabien tells us adamantly. “Never. She would have hurt herself first. All she ever wanted was to keep you safe and happy.”
“Safe from what?” It is the one question that haunts me. It’s the same question I asked I my mother in my dreams.
“From others of our kind. Alecia thought that if she changed her name, didn’t use her magic, and didn’t shift, it would be fine,” he sighs heavily. “We may be the last of the Deveraux’s but we are not the only ones with gifts. There are many who would seek us out to kill us.”
“Why would they want to kill us?”
“Power is always in the blood, Jason, and the magic that courses in our blood is more ancient than most. Many would sell their souls to gain even a taste of the power we have.”
“But not me or Jason,” I laugh hysterically. I can’t help it. It’s just all too much—magic, werewolves, and the murdering of children. The thought that my mind has really snapped occurs to me and that I’m trapped in some kind of delusion. “Kill on sight, remember?”
“They’re afraid,” Sabien eyes me carefully. “You don’t understand the strength of will it took for your mother to resist her very nature for over two hundred years. They’re afraid of what you and Jason will be capable of. Our gifts get stronger, more pronounced with each generation. Considering what your mother was capable of, the two of you will be extraordinary.”
“So our blood is chocked full of . . . power,” Jason’s words come out strangled. “But because they are afraid of what we might become, they’re willing to waste that power by killing us?”
“Yes.”
“You keep saying our kind. What exactly are we?” Jason asks hesitantly.
“Witches,” Sabien smiles at him. “Not the kind of witches you read about or see on TV, but real witches with magical abilities. Our family also carries the lupine gene. No one else in the magical community knows this. It is a well guarded secret.”
"How did she die?" I ask abruptly. I need to know how my mother died. It’s a burning need that has melted the hysteria away for a moment.
"She jumped from a cliff to keep them from gaining her blood."
Sweet Jesus...NO...I saw....
Bessie Mae, you're fine!
Jason and Uncle Sabien stare at me.
Calm down, I'm here, Bess. You're fine.
No, I’m not.
"Why did she leave us?" Jason asks, his eyes on my face.
“They found her, the trackers. She left to pull her scent away from her family. She didn’t want to go, but she had to. By leaving, she kept all of you safe. They would have killed you.”
“She could have taken us with her,” Jason says.
“No, she couldn’t have.”
“Why not?” he demanded.
“It wouldn’t have been fair. You would always be running. You and Alex were just children and she loved you too much to do that to you. Alecia wanted you to have a normal home with family and friends, something she’d never had until she met John.”
“Do you honestly think any of that ever mattered to us?” Jason asks quietly. “All we ever wanted was our mother. When she left, it broke us in more ways than we can ever possibly tell you. Do you know what it’s like to pick your baby sister up off the ground crying, trying to find a way to make it better when you feel the same way yourself?”
“Jason . . . ”
“No, Uncle,” his voice is hard. “She made a choice and it was the wrong choice.”
I squeeze my brother’s hand. Mine is still shaking from shock, his from years of anger and rage. I understand his rage. I feel it, but we have each other. We will always have each other.
“I’m sorry,” Sabien tells us, “so sorry.”
“It would seem that they have found us anyway,” I change the subject. Best to leave some hurts good and buried. I will deal with my dreams later. Sweet Jesus, but I’d seen her die . . .
Bess!
“They’ll keep coming?” I ask, ignoring the mad giggles once more.
“Yes.”
“What do we do then?” Jason asks.
“You haven’t come into your powers yet.” He starts to pace again. “The lupine gene can take up to a hundred years or so to mature enough to allow you to shift . . . ”
“A hundred years?” I interrupt him. Holy crap! Did he just say a hundred years?
“You will live a very long time, honey,” he smiles.
A hundred years? Morgan is a shifter. Just how old is he?
I hear him laugh in my mind. How is he doing that?
“The two of you shouldn’t be showing any signs of the gene for at least another fifty or sixty years.”
“Wait, you said the children were murdered who didn’t have the gene. How could they tell if they didn’t show any signs?” Jason questions.
“On the inside of your left wrist there should be a birthmark. It’s very faint, but it is a bite mark.”
We both look at our wrists. Sure enough, if you look closely, there it is.
Well, crap. It’s true, all of it.
This majorly sucks.
“You are showing signs of the gene now, both of you,” Sabien laughs harshly. “Jason, you’re faster and stronger than anyone you know. I’ve seen you play football. You have an agility that defies logic. It’s amazing. I had thought the gene was dormant in you, Alex, but I’m not so sure now.”
We both look at the broken mug on the floor.
Freak show, coming soon to theaters near you.
“Does that help us?”
“I don’t know, Jason.”
“What now?” I ask.
“The immediate threat is gone. I took care of it. There won’t be a scent for whomever comes looking for them to find.”
“But more will come?” my voice shakes. I already know the answer.
“They always do, Alexandria, but I promise you, I will find a way to keep you safe.”
“You won’t leave us?”
Sabien takes my face in his hands. “I swear to you upon my own life, I will never leave you.”
Why should I believe him? Mom left us.
“Believe me, honey,” he tells me, reading my face.
I try to nod, to say something, but another bout of giggles strikes me.
“Maintenant sommeil,” he whispers and catches me as I fall forward.
“What did you do to her?” I hear Jason bite out.
“I put her to sleep . . . ”
My mind goes dark. Blessed silent sleep.
Chap
ter 21
I wake up to the sound of a whispered argument and . . . growling.
Growling?
Images flood my mind and the sounds of shifting, breaking bones haunt me. Please, no more, I think, trying to push the memories away.
“Shh, Bess, everything is fine. You’re safe.” He strokes the back of my hand in slow soothing circles.
Morgan’s here. He’s one of . . . them. It has to be him growling, but at what?
Light blinds me as a bedside lamp flares to life. Once my eyes refocus, I see Devon is the culprit. So that’s who Morgan has been arguing and growling at. I should have guessed it, but I’m so tired. Wait . . . Devon? He should be in the hospital. There’s no way he could have managed to escape injuries.
“Devon?” I rub the sleep out of my eyes. “What . . . how?”
“I’m fine, Cara,” Devon soothes.
“You can’t be fine, Devon.” I push myself up into a sitting position, fighting the dizziness that threatens. “I saw the cat sink claws into you. You should be in a hospital.”
“Go ahead, Devon,” Morgan’s voice is grim. “Tell her why you don’t have a scratch on you.”
“Do you not think she has been through enough already?” Devon asks through clenched teeth.
I am so over this bickering. It’s making my head pound worse.
“Both of you will stop fighting right now. I’m sick to death of it.” I look from one to the other. “I need you both, so please, just please stop arguing.”
“You don’t know . . . ”
“Leave it be, Morgan,” Devon interrupts him, his voice low and hard.
“Why don’t you just tell me, Devon?” My voice sounds tired. “I don’t think there’s anything else that could shock me today.”
“Tell her,” Morgan taunts.
Devon snarls at him.
Whoa.
“Are you a shifter too, Devon?”
“Not in the sense you are thinking.”
“But you are something?”
He nods, looking down at clenched fists.
“Well?”
“I do not wish to frighten you, Alexandria.”
I’m already so scared he’s lucky I’m not screaming. Really, how bad can it be?
He lifts his head and meets my gaze.
Red ringed onyx eyes stare into my own.
Too much, too much! My mind shudders back from what I see and I pull my hand away from Morgan.
“I told you it was too soon,” Devon snaps at Morgan.
I feel the force of my fear, coupled with the pain and anger I’d felt all day, course through me, looking for an outlet. A buzzing starts in my ears. It won’t stop. My skin begins to crawl like thousands of tiny insects are covering me.
“Bess?” Morgan’s voice is wary.
Devon glares at him, accusation in his glowing black eyes.
“Alex?” Morgan reaches out a hand to me.
“Don’t,” I flinch away from him, my eyes never leaving Devon. What is he? The buzzing grows louder, demanding an outlet.
“What . . . are . . . you?” I manage to ask.
He shoots a concerned look at Morgan before answering. “It’s complicated. Even I’m not quite sure what I am. I was cursed three hundred years ago and I’ve yet to find another like me.”
Three hundred years? It really is just too much. The buzzing overwhelms me and I snap, just like that day in junior high school, only this time I have nowhere to run. My vision blurs, heat blazes to life inside of me and I see a tinge of red. The scream comes out of nowhere. I can’t hold it back. The force that has been running wildly under my skin escapes with that scream. I feel it flow out of me. The windows in the room shatter, spilling glass outward.
Morgan and Devon dive out the broken windows. Seconds later the door slams open. Jason scrambles in, baseball bat in hand, looking over every inch of the room. Sabien is behind him and Dad follows. He pulls me into his arms.
“What?” he asks, the fear and concern make his voice hard almost. “What happened?”
“Make it stop, Daddy, please make it stop,” I whisper into his shirt.
“Make what stop, honey?”
“The buzzing.”
“Buzzing?” Sabien is instantly beside of us. “Do you hear it or feel it?”
“Both. It feels like my skin is crawling.”
Sabien smiles at me. “It’s alright, honey. It’s normal. You’re waking up. I know it’s scary, but the buzzing will lessen soon.”
“Normal?” John snaps. “There’s nothing normal about hearing a buzzing noise.”
“Of course there is, John,” Sabien tells him, his voice clear and sharp. “She simply has an ear infection. That’s what’s causing the buzzing.”
“An ear infection,” John nods. “Of course.”
“You should go to bed now, John,” Sabien continues in the same tone.
“Bed, yes, that’s a good idea.” He kisses the top of my head and then strides out of the room. We all hear his bedroom door shut.
“What did you just do to Dad?” Jason growls.
“I simply made him forget. He’ll wake up in the morning thinking he had a strange dream.”
“I don’t think he can forget the windows,” Jason snaps.
Sabien frowns and closes his eyes. The glass begins to flow back into place and becomes whole once again. He repairs both windows before arching a brow at his nephew. Jason’s mouth hangs open.
“Alex,” his voice is soft and soothing. “I’m going to put you back to sleep. You need to rest. Your body needs to adjust to the changes taking place. Okay?”
Changes? My skin is crawling like thousands of bugs are running through an all expense paid trip to Walt Disney bug land. My body aches. My head throbs and the buzzing swarms through my ears. Changes? It feels more like I’m being ripped apart by gale force hurricane winds.
“Maintenant sommeil.”
I barely feel the pillow under my head before I black out. Again.
Bright sunlight assaults my eyes when I wake up. I snap them shut. I do not like waking up to the sun. My eyes are very sensitive to bright sunlight. It actually hurts, especially when I first wake up. Dad had special curtains made to block out the light for my room years ago. Even at Compton, I’d had the black-out shades because of my eyes.
Cracking my eyelids, I look around and find myself in Jason’s room. My brother is asleep on the floor, his baseball bat clutched in one hand and his old stuffed dog, Pup-Pup in the other. He told me he got rid of the old toy years ago. Such a liar.
The next thing I notice is the massive headache. It feels like my head is going to crack open. Yesterday comes flooding back and I am wracked by a bad case of the shakes. Memories hound my mind, tormenting me.
My head feels like its imploding as image after image rushes back and I remember, not just yesterday, but all of it. Dear God, please, I don’t want to remember, but either God isn’t listening or doesn’t care that I can’t take much more.
The itsty bitsy spider climbed up the waterfall, I hummed to myself as I ran to the swings. I loved the swings. The air was cool as it bathed my legs and I shouted for Mommy to swing me. We were in matching yellow dresses and Mommy laughed as I told her to swing me higher and I screamed when I went up higher than ever before.
I saw it when I was up in the air. It was a big, black cat. I tell Mommy to look at the kitty. I heard her breath catch in her throat and she pulled me off the swing. Then she put me in the yellow bubble slide and told me not to come out until she came to get me.
Mommy looked scared. I’d never seen her scared before and I started to cry when she left me. The big cat walked toward her growling and snarling, its teeth gleamed in the sunlight. I didn’t hear what Mommy said, but then she let out a big roar and then she . . . she . . . she changed. My mommy was gone and where she was now stood a big wolf. It growled at the cat and snapped its teeth.
The big cat launched itself at the wolf and the wolf jumped to mee
t it. They clashed mid air and fall, their bodies twisting and rolling as they fought. I saw their teeth tearing into each other, saw them snap and snarl as they tried to kill each other. I cried louder. Where did my mommy go?
The cat let out a cry and I heard something snap. The wolf had the cat pinned down and was tearing its throat out. Then the wolf looked up at me and I shrank back. Was it going to eat me too? It turned and grabbed the big cat and pulled it into the woods.
I don’t know how long I waited in the slide, but Mommy came out of the woods. Her clothes were torn and she was limping. She came over and it took her a long time to get me to come out of the slide. I was so scared, but she promised me it would be okay. I just cried harder and then I stopped. The fear went away and I couldn’t remember anything. Everything was okay.
My mother must have caused me to forget. I’d been hysterical, crying, and unable to move out of fear. She’d done the only thing she could to calm me down, she must have used some kind of magic. In doing so, she’d relieved the fear in that moment, but those memories have haunted me all my life, they’ve made me think I’m insane, that I was destined to be committed to a mental hospital. All these years, I’ve thought I was crazy, but I’m not. Everything I’ve ever dreamed about is real. Those vague memories that have haunted me day and night are awful and they’re as real as the sunlight pouring into my brother’s window. I’m not crazy. I’m just really, really messed up.
How can this have happened? It isn’t fair. Everything about me has all been lies. Even now I feel it, this alien force running through me, laughing at me. I don’t want to be a freak of nature. Isn’t it enough that I’ve grown up feeling out of place, like I don’t belong, thinking I’m crazy? HA! I guess I’ve been right all along. I don’t belong. I am different. A freak show.
I should have known what little happiness I’ve found over the last few weeks wouldn’t last. How could it? Eventually, everything I love is always taken from me. Why? Why can’t I just be a normal person with a normal life and normal friends?
My thoughts flash to Morgan and Devon. A shifter and a self-proclaimed monster. Which is worse? What am I supposed to do? How can I be friends with them anymore? How can I not? No matter how scared I am, I need them. The thought of never seeing them or speaking to them again terrifies me more than the knowledge of what they are.
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