I let out a long slow breath and say, “Look. I don’t trust you. But I guess it is only fair we at least talk about the babies.”
I see his facial expressions relax and he nods and smiles. “When,” he quietly asks?
“If your not busy I’d like to get this over with now. Seeing as I was interrupted at my job,” I say more harshly then I intended to.
He winces and shrinks back from the window, just a bit.
“I’m sorry about that,” he says.
Not acknowledging what he just said, I keep going on and say, “I’m sure that you know where I live since you know where I work, so you can come by my place in like 30 minutes.”
“Ok.”
“Yeah that will give me enough time to get home and get out of these shoes,” I say wanting to kick these damn shoes off and drive home barefoot.
He looks at me with a knowing look but does say a word about it. He just smiles and I drive off; leaving him staring at my tail lights as I make my way to my tiny apartment over in Southie.
After I make my way home and climb three flights of stairs, I finally get inside and sit down. I know that I should be changing into something more comfortable and soaking my feet to get ready for Carrick coming over to talk; but I just can’t seem to care like I should. I know I probably should talk to him about how we are going to both do this. But I just don’t want to be around him because I know what effect he has on me; and I can’t allow myself to go through that pain again. And I still can’t see myself with anyone else. I’m stuck in a lifelong pain that can never be fixed.
My eyes start to close as I lay back on the couch and fantasize on how in a perfect world Carrick and I would be together. We would spend our lives raising our babies; loving and cherishing all of the hours that we share together for the rest of our lives. Maybe live on that wonderful Island where we were first together; where he first kissed my lips, and where he first caressed my hips. Man, did I get lost in him.
Knock Knock
Oh shoot.
Carrick is here already. I look down at myself and wish that I would have just changed when I first got here. I still in my dingy old waitress uniform.
“Marissa, it’s me Carrick. Are you going to open up so we can talk,” I hear Carrick say from the other side of my door.
What do I do?
I quickly walk to the back of my apartment and say, “Come on in I’ll be right out.”
I go all the way into my room and shut the door before he sees me. I hear him walk into the parlor and shut the apartment door. My heart was thumping through my chest knowing that Carrick, my Carrick was on the other side of my bedroom door.
What was I going to wear, I think as I shakily try and take off my uniform. It was off in a few minutes, so were the feet busting shoes. Then I pop off my bra and panty set. It feels so freeing right now to be out of all those restricting clothes.
Looking in the floor length mirror at my naked body, I wonder if Carrick would ever find a body that has been filled with three babies, attractive again. I mean my stomach is just about as massive as my small body can stand. My breast are definitely larger; about the size of ripe melons. And my booty is nice and plump. Rubbing my stomach, I come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter anymore. It will never matter again. He doesn’t love me. He probably never has. Shaking off my disappointment, I step into my shower for a quick wash; and step out dripping wet when I was done. I put on deodorant, lotion, and some Chapstick; then I go in my room and quickly look through my closet to find something comfortable and appropriate to wear. I settle on one of my favorite things to wear, a comfortable maxi dress. I know that it is the middle of December, but I’m only going to be in the house. So I can be as relaxed as I want.
Carefully slipping the white dress on over my head, and tying a red ribbon headband in my hair I make my way over to my bedroom door.
Chapter 13 (Carrick)
After Marissa tells me to come in, I open the door to her apartment and walk in. Not only was she living in a neighborhood that wasn’t particularly desirable, but her apartment is small. I mean it wasn’t messy or anything but I could barely move around in here without a fear of bumping into something and knocking it over. So I carefully sit down on her small leather sofa and wait for her to come out from her room.
For a few minutes I hear a shower running, then nothing. I hope she is ok. When I don’t hear anything else for longer a time than I feel comfortable with, I get up off of her sofa and start back towards the rooms in her apartment. But I stop in my tracks when I hear a door opening and Marissa steps out. She is wearing a long flowing white dress. She looks absolutely stunning, but she looks mighty surprised to see me standing there in her hallway.
“I was starting to get worried about you, so I came back to check on you,” I say walking towards her.
She holds her hands up to halt me. I stop and just stand there looking at her.
“Why don’t we go back into the parlor to talk,” she says breezing past me, walking to her tiny kitchen. I can smell a scent of lilacs as she walked by me. It almost caused me to grab her and kiss those juicy lips of hers, but I didn’t. I just followed behind her and watched her get two bottles of water from the fridge, then turn and hand me one.
“We can sit or stand, your choice,” she said dryly.
This is going to be a long day, I thought as I sat down on her sofa hoping that she will sit beside me. But she doesn’t, she sits on a ottoman that was almost directly in front of me. She opens her water takes a long slow drink and looks in my eyes.
“So what did you want to talk about,” she asks me.
I was struck by how beautiful she was in the white dress that she was wearing. Her breast were nice and plump, and the rest of her body was thick in all the right places. Plus she had this amazing glow about her; it is dazzling.
“Oh I’m sorry I was just wanting to know how you were doing,” I say looking her over more. I didn’t intend on being so obvious but I just can’t help it.
She is breathtaking. I could see her shudder a little bit under my gaze. I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe things aren’t as bad as I thought they were. She shifted in her seat and finally answered my question.
“I’m fine; working, trying to save up money to take care of these babies,” she said rubbing her stomach.
Without asking my hand reaches over to her bump and I place my hand right off to the side of hers.
“Have you felt them move yet,” I ask moving my hand around her belly hoping I could feel something.
After a big gulp of air she says, “Um yeah, they move just about every time I have to pee; and anytime I eat anything and can hold it down.”
“Really. Maybe I should cook you something to eat then,” I joke.
“You know what I didn’t eat today, I should cook myself something,” she said and attempted to stand, but was put back down on her bottom when she tried to stand to her feet.
I was up and at her side in an instant.
“Rissa Baby, what’s wrong? Is there anything that I can do to help,” I ask as I grab onto her out-stretched arm?
I felt that familiar electric feel shoot from her skin to mine, or maybe my skin to hers. She felt it too; because she quickly yanked her arm from my grasp.
“No, I’m ok. My feet are just killing me from standing on them all day,” she says and reaches down to touch them, but couldn’t. So I reached down and took her right foot in my hands, and slipped her slipper off. Then I proceeded to rub her slightly swollen foot.
“You shouldn’t be working so much. I should be taking care of you guys.”
“I had to work. I needed to save money for them for when they are born; plus I needed as much money as I could get for my hospital bills, seeing that I don’t have health insurance where I’m currently working,” she say getting worked a little worked up.
“Baby I’m sorry if me saying that hurt you. I only want to be in your life.” She removes her leg from my hand and
stands up.
“Carrick please don’t call me baby; and you didn’t hurt me, you broke me down to a place were I will never be able to come back from,” she says with tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I know that you never loved me.”
“Why would you say that,” I request.
“Well when I saw you with Evelyn twice, I could see that I wasn’t ever going to be what you deserved. She loves you. You love her. I would never stand in the way of your happiness,” she said then turns and goes into the kitchen and starts looking through the fridge.
“Marissa, I know you might not believe this but I don’t love her. I don’t want to be with her. Both times that you saw her and I, she was the one who sneakily threw herself on me, because she saw you. She knew I loved you and was jealous,” I plead with her as I make my way into the kitchen, put my hands on her shoulders, and turn her around to face me.
She looked up at me with unsure eyes and whispers, “But I saw her on top of you and she was naked.”
I could see the hurt and anguish in her eyes as she relived that moment.
“She hopped in the car when I was leaving and said she would be stranded for and hour or so, and asked for a ride. I didn’t think it would be so bad since Mr. MacMurray was the driver. I knew she wouldn’t try anything. But I seem to have misplaced my trust in her,” I said.
She didn’t respond, she just stood there waiting for me to finish my thought. So I did.
“You see, she poured champagne and we both had a few drinks. Before I knew it I was tipsy. The last thing I remember I was being helped upstairs by her. Then I was being woke up by my mom’s voice yelling. I swear on my life that I did not have sex with her. I did not ask for what was happening. I was knocked out,” I said rubbing up and down on her arms.
I could feel the goosebumps forming on them under my hands.
“I don’t know. I just can’t believe that you think I’m more desirable to you than her. She’s beautiful,” she says shying away from me, looking down and her feet.
“Marissa, you are beautiful. From your sweet face, to your sexy body, to your amazing personality. I will never find anyone who is better. You are my love, my life. I’ve been a wreck without you. Can’t you see that I love you,” I say.
She searched my eyes for truth.
“I just, I don’t know,” she says turning her back to me and leaning down over the kitchen counter.
I walk up behind her and kiss down the back of her neck. She straightens up and stiffens at my touch.
“Carrick please stop,” she says half-heartedly.
I know she really didn’t want me to stop. She just didn’t want to admit it yet. So I turned her around gingerly and took her face in my hands.
“Can I kiss you,” I ask.
I have a feeling she is going to say no, but I hope she doesn’t.
She surprisingly nods her head yes and I leaned down and softly kissed her lips. She was nervous and tense at first, but after I nibbled on her bottom lip, she melted into me. She clasped her arms around my neck and returned my kisses with just as much hunger.
Soon her hands were clenching my hair and she was moaning as I kissed down her neck and stopped at the ample crease in her breast. First I slipped the top of her dress down past her breast and sucked her nipple into my mouth. Teasing it between my teeth; suckling and tugging on it until it perked up.
“Baby, you are so beautiful. I love how you feel in my mouth,” I breath on her tender nipple.
She tilts her head back and arches herself into me, but says, “I don’t think we should be doing this here.”
“Do you want me to stop,” I ask as lift her up onto the counter and slide her dress up her thighs. Then I move my hand up her thigh until I reach her center. She still didn’t say a word.
“Rissa, I asked you if you wanted me to stop touching you like this,” I say and slide my hand over her folds; and she was so hot.
“You must have wanted me to touch you like this, because you’re not wearing any panties,” I say as I slowly move one finger inside her tight wet pussy. Her muscles instantly clamp down on my finger; and I try as hard as I could to not let go of the hold I had on my own pleasure, at how wonderful she felt.
“Oh Carrick, please,” she purred as she began to rock on my hand.
“Please what. Tell me what it is,” I say and slide another finger into her wetness, and her breathing speeds up. I can feel that she will soon be at her peak, and I want to be inside her when she lets go. So I lift her up off the counter and start back to the back of her apartment.
“Which door,” I demand.
“The green one,” she says and I damn near kicked it off of its hinges.
I gently place her down on the bed and reach for the lamp on her side table, but she stops me and says, “Please leave it off.”
“Why,” I ask?
“Because, well because my body doesn’t look the same.”
But I turned it on anyway and looked into those wondrous eyes of hers.
“I know your body doesn’t look the same. You are amazing just the way you are; My ravishing flower. I will never tire of gazing at your delicious body. Please don’t ever think that you are anything less than amazing,” I explain.
Then I proceed to kiss her lips with a hunger that I could no longer contain.
“Baby do me a favor and lay on your side with your back to me,” I whisper into her ear.
She looks at me unsure, then does as I ask. I quickly take off and toss my clothes to the floor; and climb into the bed behind her. When I am directly behind her I lift her leg and place it on my thigh, then I reach around and stroke her bud. She bucks in my hand.
“Are you ready.”
“Yes Carey, I need you so bad.”
“Say it again,” I say as I rub my thickness on her sweet delicate folds from behind.
“Carey,” she hissed as I gently slid my thickness into her, slowly filling her up.
“Oh Carey, oh how I’ve missed how you fill me up with your love,” she cried.
That was all it took for me to loose it. But I didn’t want to just ram into her so I slowly rocked in and out of her wetness, trying to enjoy the feel of her before I let go into her warm center.
After a few more moans and bucks from her, I couldn’t take it anymore. I let go. I pushed myself deep into her and groaned with pleasure through her screams.
As we both came down, all I could do was lay there with her into my arms; and all I could do was feel like the luckiest man alive.
Chapter 14 (Marissa)
Oh no. What did I do? Here I am waking up from the best sleep that Ive had in a long time; and I feel Carrick’s arm wrapped around my center protectively, and his he snoring into my shoulder. What do I do? I can’t move without waking him up, and I have to go pee. After a few minutes of me laying there trying to figure out what to do, I decided to pry his arm from around me as gently as I could. Eyeing him the whole time, making sure he didn’t wake as I tip-toed to the bathroom.
After I peed and washed my hands, I look at myself in the mirror. I see a throughly ravished mouth. A face that is lit up with desire, and a body that is throbbing with so much pent up passion that the thought of what Carrick and I did last night has my hands sliding down to my center, and gently rubbing my swollen bud.
“Oooh Carrick, how I’ve missed you,” I say, as my eyes close and my head falls to the side.
“You did now,” I hear Carrick say from behind me.
I instantly remove my hand from between my dripping thighs and open my eyes, to see him standing behind me in my bathroom doorway. He has a massive smile of his face while he leans on the door frame.
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were standing there,” I say, then try and slip past him.
“Where are you going,” he asks, whispering in my ear as I pass him.
I stop and shiver as the heat pouring off of him
registers with my body and mind.
“I um I’m going to work. I should have been there a few hours ago,” I say then walk pass him and riffle through my drawers, trying to find something comfortable to wear.
I usually wear that uniform, but my body hasn’t been fitting into it properly, so I’m trying to find something that will be somewhat acceptable. I pull out a pair of stretch jeans, panties, bra, and a long sleeve t-shirt. When I turn to go back into the bathroom, Carrick is still standing in the same spot watching me like he is trying to figure something out.
“Marissa, I know that you are used to taking care of yourself, but I would love to help you; to be there with you taking care of our babies.”
“But,” I start to say, but he quickly shuts me up with the softest kiss.
“Please be with me. Let me love you, let me show you how much I love you and our family,” he says rubbing my belly.
“I don’t know,” I say shaking my head.
“You don’t know what,” he asks while rubbing his hands up and down my arms, looking at me with the softest most loving eyes.
“I just don’t know if I could go through being hurt again by you. I just love you too much to see you or even think about you with another woman,” I say as I feel myself start to tear up at that very thought.
“Oh Honey I love you. I’d never hurt you. Please believe that,” Carrick says then gently kisses my cheek, then my forehead; and when he is about to kiss my lips we were both surprised by a loud banging on my front door.
Bang Bang Bang Bang
“Who is that,” Carrick asks?
“I don’t know. No one has ever been here but me. No one even knows where I live,” I say and make my way to the parlor and look out the peep hole.
“Its my boss. I wonder what he wants,” I say to Carrick.
“Maybe you should see so we can get back to other more important things,” he says with a deliciously evil grin on his face.
It's Not My Island Page 9