Kate nodded and turned to Levi. “This is true.”
“Let me guess,” Levi said, nodding toward the empty seat beside me. “Ox?”
I shrugged. I had other friends—I had lots of friends. But Ox had sort of become integral. He’d become a part of my inner circle, so to speak. The four of us had become kind of a crew at school. A foursome.
I scowled over at my friends. “He wouldn’t have made this party any more fun.”
Kate looked like she was trying not to laugh. “Go talk to him. You’ll feel better.”
I set down my pizza once and for all. “Fine. I’ll talk to him.”
“And when you’re ready,” she said. “You know you can always talk to me.” She gave me a meaningful look. Guilt flared again. I should have told her last year.
After the breakup I’d been happy that no one knew about Alex because no one looked at me with pity or asked how I was doing. Everyone around me acted normal because I was acting normal and after enough time had gone by I realized that it wasn’t a total act anymore. It was almost like none of it had ever happened.
It was like one of those proverbs. If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?
If no one ever knew I dated a dirtbag, was he ever actually my boyfriend?
My whole secrecy thing had a certain sort of brilliance to it. It just wasn’t always obvious to the casual observer.
Levi and Kate were staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
They exchanged another telepathic look that drove me nuts. “Are you going to talk to him?” Kate asked.
I sighed for the millionth time. “Yes. Fine.” Guilt was winning out over irritation and my voice softened a bit. “I’ll go see him today.”
Chapter Five
Maddie
The anger was back a millionfold by the time I pounded on his door later that night.
He was ignoring me.
I repeat—he was ignoring me. If anyone here should be ignoring anyone it was me. Instead, I was pretty much stalking the guy. His address had been easy enough to get from one of his teammates, but I the fact still remained—this annoyingly overprotective brute had turned me into a stalker. Great, thanks a lot.
I’d been texting him all afternoon and not one response. I even called and left a message saying it was an emergency—which, admittedly, was an exaggeration. I just wanted to make sure he was all right, that was all. Maybe tell him I was sorry that him getting in a fight got him suspended.
Not that I’d asked him to.
The woman who opened the door looked surprised to see me. She was joined quickly by an older man who had to have been Ox’s dad. He looked just like him except that his giant size didn’t seem to be made entirely of muscle. The woman, on the other hand, was tall but super slim. They were both smiling at me with a question in their eyes.
“Hi,” I said, giving them my brightest smile. “Is Ox home?”
They gaped and me and his mom kind of sputtered for a bit before saying, “Yes, yes! He is at home.”
Oh man. I’d kill my mom if she were ever so incredibly obvious about the fact that I never got visitors. Poor Ox.
No, not poor Ox! I clung to my anger as his mother led the way up the stairs of their large, sprawling house.
After she knocked on a bedroom door she turned and gave me a weird sort of smile. Like she was grateful or something.
And now the guilt was back.
God, what was it with Ox? Whenever he was around my emotions went into a tailspin.
A voice of logic desperately tried to point out that it wasn’t his fault.
I refused to listen. It felt good to be angry.
I wasn’t typically an angry person, but anger was so much better than any of the alternatives.
His mom and I both heard a gruff response in answer to her knock and her smile brightened as if this was the best thing that had ever happened. She opened the door. “Honey, a friend is here to see you.”
He didn’t respond but I was pretty sure I could translate his silence. I don’t have any friends.
At what point had I started putting words to Ox’s long silences? I wasn’t exactly sure. But at some point along the way I’d gotten it into my head that I could understand him. That we understood each other.
Stupid.
I was such an idiot sometimes.
His mom threw the door open wider and gestured for me to go in. Ox was hunched over at his desk, but his head was turned toward the door. I stopped short just inside the door because his eyes…holy cow, those eyes.
The guy was glaring pretty much all the time, but I’d never seen him look like this. I suddenly had a good amount of respect and sympathy for the players who went up against him on the other team. They had to have nerves of steel to face this guy and live to tell.
His mom closed the door behind me and I jumped just a little.
He didn’t break the sudden tense silence—of course he didn’t. A fresh wave of anger hit me and I clung to it as I stomped over toward his desk. Sitting like he was, we were pretty much the same height. I could actually look him in the eyes without tilting my head back and I took advantage of my new power position. “You’re ignoring me now?”
He didn’t flinch, he just kept staring at me like I was some stranger standing in his room.
“Seriously?” I continued. “Is that how you want to play it?”
Nothing.
“Look,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m sorry about what happened, okay? I’m sorry you got suspended from the team.”
I should have stopped right there. I should have, but I didn’t. “I never asked you to get involved.”
He turned his head down, like he was going to go back to studying.
“Did you hear me?” I took a step closer so he couldn’t ignore me. I hated being ignored. “I didn’t ask you to help.”
“And I didn’t ask you to come over here,” he muttered.
“What?” Sometimes when Ox spoke it was so low it was hard to hear. But this time it wasn’t that I didn’t hear him, it was that his words took me by surprise.
He looked up and his gaze met mine and held it. “I never asked to be your friend.”
His words hurt so badly he might as well have punched me in the gut. I blinked rapidly as air rushed into my lungs too quickly. “So…what? This is all my fault because I was nice to you?”
He let out a noise that made me think this was how he’d gotten the nickname. Although maybe “bull” would have been a more fitting name because his nostrils flared as he grunted.
“What?” I snapped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He glared at me.
I shook my head in disbelief. “You’re seriously mad at me because I befriended you?”
He stared at me for so long I didn’t think he was going to respond. But then he lifted a hand, ran it over his short dark hair and spun around.
Apparently he thought this conversation was over.
I disagreed.
“No,” I said, chasing after him when he stood and walked away from me. I came up beside him and tugged on the sleeve of his T-shirt until he turned to face me.
Wow, he had muscles. I mean, I’d always known that but I wasn’t often this close to him or this…alone. I was suddenly hyper-aware of a lot of things I’d never noticed before. Like how good he smelled—all detergent and soap and manliness—and how he was just the right height for me to wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face against his chest.
It was oddly appealing right now. I mean, I was aware that he was currently glaring down at me but there was a very big part of me that hated confrontations and kind of just wanted to cuddle up against him for a quick snuggle.
I wasn’t lying when I’d said that I was all over the place these days. I couldn’t seem to stick to one emotion for the life of me, I just kept ping-ponging all over the place around Ox.
He didn’t say anything, he just stood there looking do
wn at me. I should’ve known he wouldn’t, but it still sucked.
“Say something,” I demanded. “Say anything.”
“We’re not friends.”
Anything but that. I blinked up at him, hurt by his words but also hurting irrationally for him. Because while he was still glowering down at me, I thought I saw a flicker of pain there. Remember that story about the bear with a thorn in his paw?
That’s what was racing through my head, even though I knew it was ridiculous. He was angry, and maybe that anger was somewhat justified. He was bitter and mad that he’d been suspended and maybe he blamed me or…
Or maybe that’s not at all what he meant.
“Do you mean you never thought of me as a friend?” I asked, trying not to sound as hurt as I felt. “Or do you mean you don’t think you were ever my friend?”
His frown deepened. “Is there a difference?”
I nodded. “The first is hurtful and mean, and the second makes me sad.”
He stared at me.
“The second is also untrue,” I added, in case that wasn’t clear.
He didn’t stop frowning.
I reached out and touched his arm and felt his muscles flex and tense at the touch. “Why would you think I wasn’t really your friend?”
He stared at me in silence. Again.
Well, this wasn’t going to work. It was impossible to have a conversation when only one of us was talking. “Fine,” I said with a sigh. “Be like that. I only came over here to say I was sorry you got into trouble.”
He stared at me some more.
“And I am sorry.” I bit my lip. Stop talking. Stop talking. Just stop talking.
So maybe this guy wasn’t much of a talker. That didn’t change the fact that I was. Words tumbled right out of my mouth. “But why did you have to go back there and confront him?”
He didn’t answer.
Nope. Not this time, mister. I took a small step toward him. If I got any closer we’d be touching, and while part of me really wanted to hug him, I wasn’t quite ready to let go of my anger. “Answer me,” I demanded. “Why would you go back there when I specifically told you not to?”
He was quiet. I thought he wouldn’t answer. But then he said, “He made you cry.”
I blinked. It wasn’t exactly a mind-blowing answer but something about the way he said it, the simplicity of it—it made me want to cry all over again. “You can’t just go around threatening everyone who makes me cry,” I said.
“Why not?”
I could have sworn I saw a twinkle of mischief in those dark eyes. Now it was my turn to stare. Was he…teasing?
I nibbled on my lower lip as I tried to figure him out. I’d thought I’d had him pegged. I mean, not totally. Nobody was that simple, I knew that. But he’d seemed fairly cut and dry. A shy guy in the body of a killer athlete. He intimidated everyone around him so of course he didn’t have friends. And that was where I’d come in. I’d always hated seeing people not have friends.
But now…
Now I would have given anything to know what was going on in that thick skull of his.
What he’d said before still nagged at me. “What did you mean about me not being your friend?”
He wasn’t going to answer, I could see that. He looked like a stone wall standing in front of me. But I wasn’t going anywhere. I crossed my arms again, pursed my lips, planted my feet, and arched my brows in challenge.
Two can play this game, mister.
I thought I saw the corner of his mouth twitch up but then his dark eyes flashed with an emotion I couldn’t name. He caved first. “I’m your charity case.”
I gasped. “What?”
His shrug belied the darkness in his eyes. He was hurt.
Oh crap, it was impossible to stay angry with the big brute when he was so clearly in pain. Damn me and my stupid gushy heart. “You are not a charity case.”
He didn’t look moved. It wasn’t even clear if he’d heard me.
I put a hand to his chest, because touching him seemed to be the only way to make sure he heard me.
His eyes narrowed and darkened at my touch but he didn’t pull back. I licked my lips, stupidly nervous about getting this right. I mean…I knew what he meant. Of course I did. Kate teased me all the time about taking on charity cases—both actual charities and kids at school. But I never saw anyone as a charity. I saw them as people who needed a friend. Was that so wrong?
“I wanted to be your friend,” I said. “Because you seemed like you needed one.”
Wrong thing to say. I saw it in the way his nostrils flared and his eyes sparked with anger.
“No,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant—”
He placed his big hand over mine and pulled it away.
“I meant that I wanted to get to know you and see what you were thinking and—”
I was interrupted by his hand on my elbow. Gently—ever so gently—he steered me toward the door, walking me like I was a child or a crippled great aunt or something. When we reached the door, he held it open.
I gaped up at him. “Are you kicking me out?”
He didn’t answer, but that was answer enough. Letting go of my arm, he held the door open and leaned against it, as if barring me from his room.
Fine. Fair enough. I knew when I wasn’t wanted.
The door clicked shut behind me and it felt surreally final. Like he’d just shut the door on our friendship.
Or at least, that’s what he thought.
I turned to stare at the shut door for a moment before coming to a realization. I might have befriended him as a sort of charity project. Maybe. But he’d become more than that.
I heard his low voice in my head clear as day. He made you cry.
My heart twisted a little. Maybe, just maybe, I was being too hard on him for his part in the Alex debacle. I mean, he’d only been trying to defend me.
I didn’t love the fact that he went behind my back, but his intentions were good. Honorable, even.
I sniffed and started to move as I heard his mother coming up the stairs. “Leaving so soon?” she asked. Her bright smile looked too hopeful and the disappointment was clear in her eyes.
Ugh. She just wanted Ox to have a friend. And that’s all I wanted too.
“I have to go,” I said, adding with a grin, “But I’ll be back.”
By the time I reached the front door I knew how I could make this right. It was so simple, really. I needed a distraction and Ox needed back on the team.
A plan was brewing that Ox would probably hate. I glared up at the ceiling as if maybe he could sense my frustration through the floor.
Yeah, he would definitely hate this plan.
So really, it was a win-win.
Chapter Six
Ox
Kicking Maddie out had been for the best.
I knew it was for the best, but that still didn’t make me feel much better as I roamed the halls Monday afternoon, just waiting for my next class to start.
It was easy to avoid the stares. That didn’t bother me. That I was used to.
Apparently my fight on Friday was still news, and the fact that I’d been suspended was all anyone seemed to care about. I wasn’t conceited enough to think I was indispensable, but as a starting defensive lineman the team would be at a disadvantage without me.
It wasn’t the stares that got to me, it was the silence.
I’d gone years without having a single friend but I must’ve gotten used to having Maddie’s nonstop chatter to break up my day because I felt the silence around me like prison walls.
The silence was all-consuming. It was suffocating.
And I was overreacting. Not something I normally did. A muscle in my jaw twitched at the memory of the fight on Friday and of the pathetic words that had slipped out when talking to Maddie. Maybe I should rephrase that. I didn’t normally overreact…until Maddie came along.
I managed to avoid eye contact with Maddie a
nd Kate in our history class. Two more classes to go and then I’d be done. I was aware of Maddie calling out to me when we entered the hallway after class but I ignored her.
I got through another class without talking to her or seeing her. Soon enough she’d grow tired of talking to a brick wall and she’d give up. I knew this from experience.
I wasn’t always such a loner. Once upon a time I’d thought it would be cool to have friends.
I’d been wrong.
After the class I heard my name shouted out again, but this time I couldn’t ignore it. “Oscar Valencia.” Only my coach used my full name and only when it was serious. I stopped walking and faced the stares that were fixed on me as I headed toward his office.
If he wanted to finish the lecture I’d walked out on, that was fine. I could take it. Maybe it would even get me out of last period.
My hopefulness took a nosedive the moment I stepped into his office.
Maddie whipped around to face me, a brilliant smile on her face. I blinked at the sight of her. What the…what?
What’s she doing here?
That’s what I wanted to say. Words, though. Not my friends.
“As this young lady is here to discuss you, I thought perhaps you’d want to listen,” my coach explained as he walked past me to drop down into his office chair.
I glared at Maddie and her smile grew.
I would not smile back. What are you up to?
She came to my side and sort of squeezed my arm in a side hug. I recognized the gesture for what it was. She wanted to make up. She wanted me to say we were friends again.
Not gonna happen. Not because I was angry. I wasn’t. I never had been…not with her, at least. I’d just been pissed at myself for getting involved in someone else’s business. Hadn’t I learned my lesson about having friends and getting close?
Answer: yes. Yes, I had.
I knew better, yet somehow this little pixie had smiled her way into my life and I’d just sat back and let it happen.
Well, not anymore.
“Great,” Maddie said, as she took the seat across from the coach. “Shall we discuss my proposal?”
The Perfect Score (Kissing the Enemy Book 3) Page 6