But right now, the idea of getting back on the proverbial horse didn’t sit well. In fact, it made me feel like I might break out into hives. “I think I’m done with guys for a while.”
One would’ve thought I’d just announced my decision to have a sex change by Kate’s stunned response.
“What?” I said when she still hadn’t said anything thirty painful seconds later. “I don’t need a guy, you know.”
“I know,” she said quickly. “It’s just…I thought…”
She stopped and we stood there looking at one another.
“Is this because of those guys in the parking lot the other day?” she asked quietly.
I frowned. No. Hell no. This had nothing to do with Alex or his dumb friends.
Her expression softened and something horrifyingly close to pity filled her eyes. “Does this have anything to do with why you cried at that frat party?”
I pressed my lips together and let out a little huff of annoyance. I should never have told her about that.
“Maddie…” Kate’s hand on my shoulder brought me back to the moment and I was keenly aware of the fact that Kelly and Tiffany and some of my other friends would reach us any moment now. “Maddie, you know you can talk to me, right?”
I gave a short nod. “Of course I can. But there’s nothing to talk about. Seriously, you’re making too big a deal out of that fight. It was just a misunderstanding, I told you.”
Kate took a deep breath and I just knew she was going to argue with me, so I cut her off.
“Look, if you don’t want to help me with this flag football league, I understand, okay?” I managed a silly grin as I wagged my eyebrows. “I know you and Levi are in your honeymoon period so if you two need your space—”
Kate groaned and rolled her eyes. “We don’t need space, Maddie.”
I knew that would annoy her and just like that, the topic was dropped.
I was kind of a genius, sometimes, if I did say so myself.
By the time our other friends joined us, I was ready to pitch the idea to them. Not surprisingly, the idea went over far better with these girls than with Kate. She’d never been much of a romantic…well, not until she’d met Levi.
Tiffany, my redheaded friend with ivory skin to die for, was beaming with excitement by the time I finished. “Leave it to you to find a way to meet hot guys while volunteering.”
I laughed along with the others but something inside of me turned over in my gut. And that was when I knew. I really was done with guys. Seeing Alex again was a vivid reminder of just how badly they could suck. I’d been trying to distract myself from thoughts of him and our relationship for a full year but where had that gotten me?
Maybe it was time I faced facts. I’d fallen in love with the wrong guy, and he’d never loved me back.
“Are you all right?” Kate asked. She was walking beside me and I dipped my head to keep her from seeing the pain on my face. “Fine. Just got a shin splint, that’s all.”
She didn’t say anything and I wasn’t sure if she believed me. It didn’t matter. I’d gone a whole year without telling anyone about my heartache, I wasn’t about to wallow in it now.
I took a deep breath. Nope. I was moving on, once and for all, but this time I knew better than to look for salvation in the arms of a hottie. What I needed was to focus on friends.
One friend in particular desperately needed my help.
“What do you guys think of Ox?” I asked.
“He’s hot,” Tiffany said instantly.
“Agreed,” Kelly said. “But he’s kind of scary.”
“Oh totally,” Tiffany said. “I mean, I’d never date the guy, but there’s no denying he’s hot.”
I looked over to see Kate rolling her eyes. I hadn’t really expected her input and I knew where she stood when it came to him anyway. He was her friend, end of story.
But Tiffany and Kelly had confirmed my suspicion. All could agree that the big guy was hot. Not cute, but hot in that buff athlete kind of way. His features weren’t classically handsome but he had a certain charm. Something rugged and manly.
I bit my lip. Not that I’d really noticed. He was my friend, and besides that, he wasn’t my type. He was the kind of guy who needed a long-term girlfriend, and that wasn’t how guys saw me. Even if they did, that wasn’t what I was looking for. Not at the moment, anyway. Maybe one day I’d get back on that horse, but it wouldn’t be any day soon.
“What do you think, Maddie?” Tiffany asked.
“Yeah,” Kelly’s voice turned teasing. “Are you into him?”
I scoffed. “Of course not. You know he’s not my type.”
“You have a type?” Tiffany laughed.
“Yeah, since when?” Kelly added.
I smiled but it felt forced.
“I’m not interested in Ox for myself,” I said. “But I do think he has potential.”
It was a buzzword and I wielded it with precision. If my friends were dogs I would have seen their ears perk up. Fairfield wasn’t a big school and girls like Kelly, Tiffany, and me—AKA girls who liked boys—we’d been there done that with the lot of them. The great hope was that there was a stone left unturned. A diamond in the rough, if you will.
I heard Kate’s quiet groan and ignored her. I knew what she’d say. It was none of my business, he wouldn’t want me interfering, blah blah blah. But the thing was, she didn’t know Ox like I did. He wouldn’t ask for help, and he probably wouldn’t even admit that he needed it.
But I knew he was lonely, and I knew he deserved to love and be loved. It wasn’t every guy who’d stick up for a friend like that. And much as he might’ve groaned and glowered, he’d joined that softball league over the summer on his own, and he’d joined that soccer camp when I’d asked him to.
He might not admit it, but he wanted companionship. I could be his friend, and I would…but he needed more than that. He deserved someone who loved him above all others.
My heart hurt a little at the thought.
Maybe we all deserved that.
Kelly made a hmm noise as we all walked back toward the gym. “I’d consider dating him.”
I shot her a look out of the corner of my eye. Kelly? I mean, she was blonde and pretty and super sweet, but…
But what?
I narrowed my eyes a bit as I studied her. I just couldn’t see it. But if she was interested, I wouldn’t rule it out. I might’ve known Ox better than most, but I didn’t know what kind of girl he liked. Since he’d come to Fairfield he’d never once dated anyone, as far as I knew.
And I always knew.
“Seriously?” Tiffany said. “But you said yourself he’s so scary.”
I frowned over at Tiffany, ignoring Kate and her sighs. “He’s not scary.”
Well, okay, maybe he was a little intimidating. But only because he glared all the time.
Tiffany gave a little snort of disbelief. “Yeah, well not to you. He obviously likes you.”
I stopped walking. “What? No, he doesn’t.”
Tiffany stopped too and then Kelly and Kate followed suit. Tiffany arched her brows. “He totally fought, like, ten guys to save your honor.”
I gaped at her in disbelief. I hadn’t explained why Alex and his friends had shown up but gossip had spread and the rumor was that some guy who had a thing for me was pissed when I’d jilted him.
I hadn’t taken the time to disabuse anyone of that not-so-true bit of gossip. As far as rumors went, it was probably the best light I could be cast in. Smoldering seductress who leaves college guys heartbroken and desperately in love.
The thought had my lips twitching upward, but I came back to reality as I realized that I hadn’t thought too much about what people would think about Ox’s involvement. “People think he likes me?”
Kelly’s eyes widened. “Doesn’t he? I heard Ox has been pining after you for years.”
Kate let out a snort of amusement and I shot her a glare. “Hey, it’s not that unthinkable
.”
Kate pressed her lips together. Okay, yeah, it was pretty unbelievable if you knew the two people involved.
“So it’s true?” Kelly asked.
“Of course not.” Something about her curiosity set me on edge. What, one word from me and now suddenly she was interested in Ox? What a follower. Ox deserved better than a sheep.
Her sudden smile didn’t make me feel any better. “Good.”
Tiffany’s mind seemed to be going in the same direction. “Why?” she said, her tone laced with suspicion. “Are you going to make a move on that giant freak?”
“Hey!” Kate and I snapped at once but it was Kate who got their attention. She rarely spoke, let alone raised her voice. “He’s not a freak just because he’s quiet.”
The other two girls stared at her with wide eyes. No one could really argue that without outright insulting Kate to her face. And while neither Kelly nor Tiffany was extraordinarily close with Kate, nor was either extraordinarily nice—neither was a witch and they knew when to gracefully accept defeat.
“Sorry,” Tiffany mumbled.
“I don’t think he’s a freak at all,” Kelly said, all wide-eyed innocence.
“You said he was scary,” I pointed out.
She shrugged. “Yes, well, that’s just because he’s intimidating. But I’ve never been one to be intimidated by a guy.” She gave us a saucy wink before strutting her stuff toward the guys who were walking nearby.
“She only likes him because she thinks I do,” I said to Kate as Tiffany followed after her friend.
Kate gave another little snort of amusement but this one was in agreement. “They say imitation is the biggest form of flattery.”
I arched my brows in her direction. “Then consider me flattered, I guess.”
“But you don’t really have a thing for Ox, right?”
Now it was my turn to stare at her in disbelief. “Of course not.”
She nodded quickly. “That’s what I thought, it’s just…”
I heaved a sigh. “Spit it out already.”
Her eyes widened and I instantly felt like a jerk. I knew better than anyone how hard it was for my friend to open up, even to me. Lately my patience just hadn’t been what it usually was.
Kate said pretty much exactly what I was thinking. “It’s just that you’ve been acting a little…off lately.”
I sucked in a deep breath and started toward the locker rooms.
Kate followed, picking up her pace to determinedly stick by my side. “It’s fine if you’re upset about something, Maddie. You don’t have to pretend—”
“Who’s pretending?” I snapped.
I was. I was pretending. Last year at this time I’d had a bleeding, broken heart and wounded pride and yet I’d somehow done such a fabulous job pretending nothing was wrong that everyone around me believed it. Why was it so different this time?
Maybe because this time there were witnesses.
I should never have let Ox see me cry. That had been the beginning of the end. Now I couldn’t seem to be around him without entering a whirlpool of emotions, and I couldn’t seem to open my mouth without giving myself away.
Kate placed a hand on my arm. “Maddie, we’re worried about you.”
I shrugged her off. “We?” I said, my voice uncharacteristically sharp, but I couldn’t seem to stop it. “We who?” I stopped and faced her, a now-familiar irritation rising up in me despite the fact that my brain was ordering my mouth to shut.
My mouth didn’t listen. “By ‘we’ I assume you mean you and Levi.”
Her silence was answer enough.
“So you and your new boyfriend are worried about me.” Disbelief came across loud and clear. “Please. You two are happily living in your little bubble so don’t try and pretend like you care about anything else.”
Her eyes widened even further as her mouth fell open. “Maddie, I don’t know what’s going on but you need to talk to someone,” Kate said.
The sweetness and softness of her voice was like acid on my guilty conscience and I found myself snapping at her again before I could stop myself. “That’s rich coming from you,” I said. “You don’t speak at all unless I force you to, but you’re going to stand there and lecture me on how I should open up? To you?”
I didn’t stick around to see her hurt expression. I turned and fled, not toward the locker room but toward the parking lot. There were only two periods left but I couldn’t sit through them.
Everything about this gym class had made me furious beyond reason. Tiffany and Kelly with their sheep-like admission that Ox was a catch. The fact that Kate couldn’t leave well enough alone.
I ignored her when she called after me and I refused to think about how much trouble I’d be in for skipping school.
In that moment I hated myself, but I hated everyone else around me more.
Chapter Eight
Ox
Levi and I were not friends. But that didn’t stop him from talking to me.
“Dude, I’m worried about her.”
I shoved a book into my locker and ignored him. Maybe if I kept ignoring him he’d go away. It was bad enough that Maddie kept pestering me with questions about this football league. The last thing I needed was to get caught up in Levi’s relationship drama.
He wasn’t going anywhere, it seemed. Leaning back against the locker next to mine, he furrowed his brow and remained oddly quiet.
“Seriously, man,” he said. “I’m worried.”
Well, oddly quiet for Levi. The guy typically talked nonstop and loudly. Maybe being with Kate was having a calming effect on him.
“Kate’s fine,” I said. I obviously didn’t know what was wrong with her to make him so worried but I knew Kate well enough that she was fine. She would always be fine. Beneath the ducked head and the blushing, she was a tough cookie.
A tough cookie who’d probably slap me upside the head for calling her a cookie.
Levi finally seemed to come out of his stupor to give me a narrowed-eyed look, like I’d just sprouted horns. “Not Kate,” he said. “Maddie.”
I stopped, turning to face him fully.
Levi held his hands up. “Whoa, whoa. Don’t look at me like that. I’m not your enemy, man.”
I let out a grunt of annoyance. This guy with his jokes. I wasn’t mad at Levi, and he knew it. But what he’d said made me worried. It just so happened that I expressed worry, fear, anger, and just about every other emotion in the same way.
It wasn’t like I meant to look pissed all the time.
Although, to be fair, more often than not I was angry about something. Usually at the way the people around me were treating one another.
“What’s wrong with Maddie?”
“She’s been acting weird, man.” Levi shook his head. “She yelled at Kate the other day. Now the two of them are barely speaking.”
I furrowed my brow as I tried to take that in. Maddie didn’t do angry—well, at least not with anyone but me, as far as I knew. Those guys in the parking lot were being outright rude to her and yet she still remained calm. I’d never seen her so much as frown at one of her friends, least of all Kate. If anything, Maddie was overprotective of her quiet friend.
“Have you noticed anything weird with her lately?” Levi asked.
I shot him a look. If I had, I sure as hell wouldn’t go blabbing about it. But the answer was yes. Of course I had. She’d been nothing but weird since that night with the party and the crying.
Oh, the crying. I couldn’t remember it without finding my hands balled up into fists. What I wouldn’t give for another shot at the jerk who’d been so rude to her.
And Alex. What the hell was that guy’s deal?
“I think you should talk to her.”
My attention returned to Levi and I was pretty sure my look spoke for me.
“What? It’s not a terrible idea,” Levi said.
I arched my brows.
“Okay, fine, so maybe you’re not much of a
talker,” he said, stating the obvious as he was wont to do. “But that’s all the more reason you should be the one to talk to her.”
I stared at him, waiting for some sort of explanation that would reveal his warped logic.
“She likes you,” he said.
I like you. Despite myself, her voice came back loud and clear. Those words, spoken in her clear, melodic voice had been playing in a loop for days now. I still didn’t know if I believed it, but hearing it from someone else—someone like Levi, no less—it was jarring.
“She likes everyone,” I muttered.
Levi shrugged. “Maybe. But whatever’s going on with her right now, she’s not talking to her other friends about it. You might not be her confidante, but whatever happened in the parking lot last week…”
I shot him a glare. Every guy on my team had asked me about that fight and if I didn’t tell them any of the details, I definitely wasn’t going to tell Levi.
He met my glare with unabashed interest. “You know, don’t you?”
I glared.
He was unfazed. “Huh. Kate suspected that all this has something to do with that party up near campus, and she thought that somehow you were involved.”
He was digging. In all fairness, I believed Levi was honestly worried. He, like Kate, considered Maddie to be a good friend. She’d taken both of them in just like she’d done with me.
She had friends who were normal and popular, just like her. But unlike them, she’d made it her mission to befriend the unfriendable. Like me. Like Kate. Like Levi.
“Hey Ox.”
I looked down to see a redhead whose name was currently a blank. I recognized her, of course. Fairfield wasn’t big enough to have total strangers in our class. But she’d never once spoken to me before.
“Hi Tiffany,” Levi said, his tone dry as he said hello to the girl who was clearly ignoring him. All of her attention seemed to be on me.
Huh.
She shot Levi a quick look. “Hey.” Then she was back to smiling up at me, her head tilted to the side as she gave me a flirty grin. “Will I see you at the league practice tomorrow?”
The Perfect Score (Kissing the Enemy Book 3) Page 8