by Leah Holt
She was simply stunning.
And in that brief second my desire shifted from just want into need as my chest constricted and my body filled from head to toe with electric sparks.
Ella is it, she's definitely the woman I've been looking for.
With a thin smile, she removed her eyes from mine and glanced down at her arms. "I—I brought you back your jacket," she said with hesitance in her voice, taking the jacket off her arm, and holding it out to me. "Thanks for letting me borrow it."
"Of course." Taking a step forward, I took the coat. "But, I'm pretty sure I told you to keep it."
"You did, but I can't keep what's not mine." Holding out open palms, she gave me a weak smile. "So, here I am."
Nodding, I lifted the coat up and bowed my head. "Thank you." Moving my eyes to the small bar against the wall, I asked, "Can I get you a drink?"
"No, that's alright, I'm not staying."
"You came all the way here just for this? To bring me a coat I don't really need?" Smirking, I placed the jacket on the back of the chair, letting my eyes dance around her body.
She was shifting on her feet nervously, her eyes frantically scanning anything and everything that wasn't me. "Is that so hard to believe?" she asked, her lip curling up to one side.
She didn't just come here for this.
After how last night ended, I was surprised she even kept the jacket and didn't throw it out the window on her ride home. Ella had been so upset, the fact that she held onto it said something.
"Why did you really come here?"
Rolling her eyes, she rocked her head on her shoulders, her voice low and strained. "Alright, maybe there's more."
"Maybe—no, there's definitely more."
Stuffing her hand into the back pocket of her jeans, she pursed her lips. "Okay, I also wanted to know what you were going to do about this?" Pulling out a small square of folded up paper, she opened it and handed it to me.
"You saw that, huh?" Ella cocked her brow, her eyes boring a hole into mine. "Stupid question?"
"Stupid question—you think? Of course I saw it, how the hell wouldn't I have seen it? It's on the damn front page." Folding her arms across her chest, her hip kicked out. "I'm wondering what you're going to do about it. You need to fix this, August, I can't have my face plastered on the front page of the paper."
"Why not? I thought women loved attention?"
"Wow, that's not being a dick in the slightest."
Chuckling, I smiled. "I'm sorry, I know, my sense of humor sucks sometimes. Seriously, I'm only kidding, I know it's bad, I do."
"Then fix it." Her tone was dry and unamused. There was no emotion on her face as she stood still as a porcelain statue, not even the slightest smile on her lips.
This girl is tough. But I'll break her.
"There isn't much I can do," I said, walking around to the backside of my desk and pressing my hands into the top. "The reporters are going to do what they want. I have no control over what they print. I suggest you get use to it, this might not be the last time you'll see your face in the headlines."
"There has to be something you can do. Pull some strings, make some phone calls, use whatever arsenal you have to make this go away." Running her fingers through her hair, she tipped her chin higher as she said, "You owe me that much, this is all your fault anyway."
"My fault?" Thinning my lids, I let my mouth hang open. "You do realize that if you hadn't freaked out like you did, neither one of us would be in this position. This doesn't just affect you, this isn't good for me either. You think I want to be on the front page for that?"
"Don't you dare try to pin this on me." Pointing at herself, her mouth crinkled. "I didn't do anything wrong. I went thinking you had an actual job for me, but what you wanted was way more than any man should ever ask from some woman they don't know."
Smirking, I let out a light laugh. "I think we both had a hand in last night. You can't put all of this on me, that isn't fair. I know what I asked wasn't exactly what you expected, but a simple no thank you would have been just fine."
Letting out a weighted breath, her lids lowered. "Alright, I didn't come here to argue with you about it. I have enough shit going on in my life right now. I'm broke, I can't find a real job, and to top it all off, I'm about to be homeless. I don't need this mess too, I just need you to fucking fix it. Make my life a little easier and make this go away."
Observing her for a moment, my face was stoic as I processed her words. I didn't think she meant to tell me all that, her expression told me it all spilled out on accident. You know the look I'm talking about; the deer in the headlights, my mouth kept moving without me wanting it to kind of look. The look where once that final word tumbles out, they pinch their lips shut and stare at you like they're hoping it was all jibberish.
Taking a step closer, Ella arched her brows high, her eyes opening wide. "Please, there has to be a way."
Raking my fingers through my beard, I tilted my head into my shoulder. I had the perfect answer, one that worked for both of us. All she had to do was say yes and all the drama surrounding this little event would vanish.
"I have an easy solution that can make this all disappear. . ." Letting my voice fade, I peered at her, hoping she could read my mind.
Ella's head angled a hair, her eyes lighting with a flicker of hope. "What is it?" she asked, quickly brushing her hand in the air as she kept speaking. "You know what, I don't care, whatever it is, just do it."
"You're agreeing then?"
"Yes," she said, nodding eagerly. "Make it disappear."
"Perfect, I'll send the papers to you this afternoon."
"Papers? Papers for what? Is it like a discloser that I won't talk to the reporters or something?"
"It'll all be in the paperwork."
"Wait," she said, jerking her head back. "What am I signing papers for?"
"We talked about this already, you're having my baby, it's the easiest way to fix all this."
Throwing out her arms, she shook her head. "No, no, no." Slicing the air with her hand, she shot me an angy glare. "There's no fucking way and that's not what I meant. I meant do something to make this all go away, not make it real."
"Everyone already thinks you're pregnant anyway. Why not give the people what they want?"
"You're delusional, August. I'm not doing that."
"Why not?" I asked, moving to her side. "It would be perfect. You could come stay with me, and I'll take care of everything." Reaching out, I gently touched her arm, softening my expression. "Look, we both need something. You need money and I need a baby. I'm not just doing this for fun, we're in the same situation. If I don't do this, everything I have is gone, all of it."
"August, it's not the same," she said, letting her eyes fall over my face. "You're talking about bringing another life into this world on false pretenses. A baby shouldn't be born like this, it's wrong, it's not fair to the child, it's not fair to me or to you. A baby should be born out of love, not necessity. How could you even think this is the answer?"
"We could make it work. The baby would be loved, I would love it and so would you. It wouldn't be born into cold arms and uncaring parents. People have babies all the time and don't plan it. One night stands turn into life long relationships. This would still be better than that, this child would have everything it ever wanted. You could have everything you've ever wanted."
"There's more to life than just money, August." Ella's eyes shot to the floor, her tone questioning. "Besides, you can't give me what I really want."
"Everything revolves around money, it doesn't matter which way you look at it. It's sad, and I know it shouldn't be that way, but it is. You said it yourself, you have nothing, you're about to lose your place, I can make it so you don't have to worry about any of that."
"You can't buy me off like that. You act like this is an easy decision, but it's not."
"Look, the point is you'd never have to struggle another day in your life, not one. And th
is child, it would have every opportunity in the world, no door would be closed."
Biting on her bottom lip, she stood silent for a long second. "I don't know, August."
There was something about that moment, the way she looked at me, the delicate light in her eyes, she was so beautiful. Her voice was firm, but also weak, as if I was slowly working my way through the cracks in her shell.
She's thinking about it, she's really seeing the big picture.
"Look," I said, gripping both her arms and turning her to face me straight on. "If there's one thing I did learn last night, it's that you're the one I want. I don't want to look anymore, I found what I've been searching for in you. So, just think about it, I don't need an answer right this minute."
Her eyes darted between mine, lips parting. And all I could think about was kissing her. I wanted to taste her skin, her tongue, every inch of her body. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair and wrap it around my hand to tug her head back.
I felt primal, wanting to claim her body, marking it as mine. I had never wanted one person in my life so badly. But Ella Day had imprinted herself into my brain. I expected I'd have to go find her, never thinking she would walk into my office on her own.
Yet, here she was, looking up at me with big doe eyes, her mouth begging to be kissed, even if she didn't realize it.
"August—" she started to speak, but I stopped her.
Pressing my finger to her lips, I silenced her. "No more talking, you have a choice to make. Lose everything along side me, or have everything together? It's up to you."
Chapter Nine
Ella
What the hell am I doing?
Pacing around my apartment, I kept looking at the time, and checking my email, wondering when the papers would pop up in my feed. I wasn't sure if I was thinking clearly, or if I had literally just lost my mind, but I was honestly going to weigh his option as plausible.
It was the money. Did that make me shallow? Self-centered? Irresponsible and a poor judge of values?
I'm definitely losing my fucking mind. There's no other rational explanation.
Grabbing my phone, I sent Kayla a text. 'You around? I could use a drink.'
My phone pinged immediately, her response giving me a feeling of relief. 'Sure! Just tell me when and where.'
Telling her to meet me at our usual place as soon as she could, I slipped my feet into my flats and headed out the door. I had to tell her what I was thinking, and I needed her to give me a valid reason as to why I shouldn't even allow this idea hold any weight.
You don't need her for that, the list is endless. The small angel on my shoulder spoke up, reminding me that we were talking about a child, not selling a car or an old radio. A baby, a child, someone who need us their entire lives.
But it could also wipe my slate clean, giving me a chance to get out from the quick sand I felt like I was sinking in.
The sneaky red devil whispered against my ear drum, his words sweet and easily to swallow. Money, you need the money. This is what you've been waiting for. This is your out.
My brain kept going back to what it would do for me; me, me, me—Am I really this selfish? Could I really bring a baby into the world for my own benefit?
Walking into the bar, I found an open booth in the back and slid inside. I kept watching the door, checking my phone, fiddling with my hands, then repeating the same cycle. It felt like I was in some wild dream and none of this was real.
I waited for the moment when my eyes would pop open and I'd jolt up in bed, sitting in the cold sweat of a crazy dream. That moment never came, I wasn't dreaming.
A waitress came over and asked me what I wanted to drink. Ordering a beer for both myself and Kayla, I sat anxiously, my eyes stuck on the door.
Placing the two bottles down, the waitress gave me a smile. "If you need anything else, just let me know."
"Thanks," I said, taking a sip from the bottle and running the sharp edge of my nail across the dewy label.
I felt lost, almost like I was standing outside my body and watching from the shadows. Surreal, that was the best word to describe what I was thinking about doing. It was out of character for me, an option I could never have imagined I'd ever entertain.
"Hey, hey, hey." Kayla's voice floated through the air as she slipped into the seat across from me. "This one for me? Or are you double fisting tonight?"
Lifting my face, I gave her a half smile. "That's yours, not that I won't be double fisting by the time tonight's over."
"Oh lord, so, what happened? What did he say?" Taking a sip of her drink, she tapped her nails against the glass, impatiently waiting for an answer. "And don't lie, I know when you're full of shit." Throwing her finger up, she pointed it in my face.
Groaning, I let my head drop further into my chest. "I don't have a simple answer, Kay."
"Well, what did sexy Mr. Burke say? Can he do anything about the article?" Her smile grew wider as her lids lowered playfully. "Tell me he at least blew your mind to make this all worth it."
"He blew my mind alright, but it's not in the way you're thinking—" Picking up the bottle, I tipped it in her direction. "August needs something from me to fix this, and in all honesty, it's crazy—and I'm actually thinking about doing it."
"It can't be that bad, I mean it's one article, it's really not the end of the world." Kayla took a big sip of her beer, her eyes set on the ceiling. "Besides, it's not like he can't afford to have anything he wants. What could you possibly give him that he doesn't have already?"
"He wants me to have his baby."
Spitting the beer from her mouth across the table, a fine mist coated my arms and neck. "What did you just say?" she asked, her voice panicked, but not completely certain that she had heard the right words.
Grabbing a napkin, I wiped the alcohol off my skin. "Do you really need me to say it again?"
"I'm sorry, it just doesn't sound right. Maybe you heard him wrong, maybe he meant something else?"
"There was no mistaking it, Kay, he was very clear with what he wanted. I'm waiting for him to email me some paperwork about it."
"Wait—you're seriously thinking about doing it?" Holding up her hand, she tilted her head. "Did he slip something in your drink that's making you act all impulsive and shit?"
"No," I said, shrugging my shoulder. Rolling the beer bottle in my fingers, I kept my eyes on the glass, watching my reflection as it warped and changed shape. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing, I don't even know who I am anymore. The only thing I know is that I'm running out of money and that scares the shit out of me." Lifting my eyes to hers, I begged her. "Tell me I'm crazy, tell me it's a bad idea, tell me anything that would make more sense than actually going through with this."
Kayla stared at me, but she didn't have the look on her face I would have expected. She didn't look shocked or horrified, she wasn't raising her voice and throwing out her father's name for the purpose of sueing the guy.
Tilting her head deeper, she let her eyes roam around my face. "El, you know I love you, and you know I'll stand by you with whatever you do. But, I can't give you an answer to this, you have to decide this for yourself. Although, if I'm playing devil's advocate here, we are talking about August Burke. How many woman can say that a man like him, asked them to have his baby?"
"Probablly a few, he did post an ad for it, remember?" Giggling, Kayla started laughing with me, and I began to feel more relaxed. "Would you do it?" I asked.
"If it was me, and I was single, yeah, I know I'd at least consider it. It's fucking August Burke, that's enough to give me pause and really weigh my options."
"I didn't know who the hell he was at first."
"That's because you always have your head buried in a book or sheet music."
"Kay, I feel like this should be a no brainer. I mean, who puts an ad in the paper for a damn baby? It just seems so insane. And I feel even crazier for considering it."
Softening her eyes, Kayla gave me a thin smi
le. "Here's what I really think, you're not crazy. You're a girl who is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Lucky for you, that hard place has stone cut abs, and a face that can make you forget your own name. I think you should see what he sends you, and take it from there."
"I'd be having a baby, Kay, that's a pretty big life change. I feel insane for even debating it, like I'm seeing this as a way out and not for what it really is. I'd be getting paid to bring a new life into the world."
"It would be a big change, but if anyone could do it, you could. You're great with kids, El, don't over think it. If we're looking for honesty here, I say you got nothing to lose."
"Wait, wait, wait. . ." Holding up my hand, I cocked a brow. "Didn't you tell me not to contact that ad? And didn't you say it was creepy and weird and it gave you a bad feeling?"
"I did, but that was before I knew who the mystery man was. Now I know, so it changes my opinion. He's a good guy, El. His family is always donating to charities, and he's not someone you see with a different woman every other night. He's smart, handsome, and I don't doubt he'd take care of you and a baby."
Kay went on to talk a little more about his family. She had information about his parents, she knew where he went to highschool, and what type of car he drove.
"How do you know this stuff about him?" I asked.
"My father has been the lawyer for his family for years, we've met a few times in passing. But being a Burke, his family has also been in the paper on and off for years."
I should have fucking known. I knew his name sounded familiar and there was a certain level of recognition when I saw his face. But Kayla was right, I spent all my time trying to build my career, I didn't really pay attention to anything else going on around me.
My phone jingled, signaling a new email had come through. Picking it up, I opened the screen, and saw it was from August. "Here it is." Kayla got up from her seat, moving to sit right next to me, and looking over my shoulder as I opened the attachment. "What are you doing?" I asked.