by Lyn Cote
Hannah had heard Martha’s worry repeated over and over in the past week of solid rain. The Wisconsin River and its creeks were already full, and the subsoil was soaked. In the spring, flooding had been narrowly avoided, but now the threat had returned fourfold.
“There was no need to thank Guthrie and me. We were just glad to get the roof done.” Hannah was becoming a little embarrassed. After all, she’d helped Guthrie with the roof for a selfish reason, to free him up to work on her parents’ home.
“Looking at you, I can’t believe you’re a carpenter.” Brandon gave her a quizzical look.
Hannah shrugged. Brandon, I haven’t figured you out yet myself.
“Mom showed me the videotapes she had of you and my great-aunts,” Brandon continued. “They are hilarious.”
She smiled, but wearily. This type of comment was also wearing on her. Yes, the taped cooking spots were amusing, but that didn’t diminish the quality of the recipes or the spontaneity the two aunts added to them. Hannah was proud of the recipes and the aunts. Her agent had called a day ago to say that the dairy wanted to continue to sponsor the spots after the first three-month contract and were talking about doing a promotional brochure booklet with dairy recipes. If that came about, her agent thought that demos might be picked up by Minneapolis and Milwaukee TV stations, too.
“I’m very grateful to your aunts.” Hannah raised her voice so others could hear. “They add sparkle and charm to the cooking demos. I am in their debt.”
Martha nodded. “This town has always underestimated my husband’s aunts. I’m so happy that these TV spots show what they can do.” She looked at Brandon. “You’ll be happy to know that Hannah insisted they be paid for their contribution to the project.”
Brandon looked more surprised than happy. “That’s wonderful.” He gave Hannah another searching look.
Guthrie approached Hannah from behind. He touched her shoulder. “They want us to go up to the attic for a few pictures.”
“All right,” Hannah assented, “but these have to be the last. I’m not very enthusiastic about all this fuss.”
Guthrie nodded to Lila and his mother but ignored Brandon.
“I think I’ll come along,” Brandon said with a note of challenge in his tone.
“Suit yourself.” Guthrie led Hannah by the hand to the attic.
Once there, Hannah and Guthrie posed for the two ladies who kept the church scrapbook while Brandon looked on. Brandon’s presence seemed to nettle Guthrie, whose expression became stormy. Then just the three of them, Guthrie, Hannah and Brandon, remained in the attic.
Gales of rain thrashed the roof. The intensity overhead matched the friction between the two brothers. Watching the conflict in their gazes and body language, Hannah feared this would be their big showdown. It seemed to her that they circled each other like wrestlers sizing each other up. She said a quick prayer for peace.
“So?” Brandon challenged Guthrie. “Go ahead. I know what you’re thinking. Ask me.”
Guthrie stared at his brother. “Where’s Deirdre? Didn’t she want to visit her family, too? You won’t tell Mom why she didn’t come with you. Her parents haven’t invited you over for as much as a cup of coffee—”
“Deirdre left me.”
Guthrie’s expression changed to shock. “Why would she leave you? What did you do to her?”
Brandon gave a sound of disgust. “Me? She’s the one who’s filed for divorce. According to her, I’m not the man she thought I was when she married me. I wasn’t rising fast enough for her. So she found a man with big bucks who was looking for a trophy wife. She decided his checkbook was just her size.”
Guthrie took a step forward. “That can’t be true. Dee would never do something like that. She loved you.”
Hannah listened in stunned silence as the two brothers evidently forgot her presence.
Brandon waved his hand dismissively. “You never knew the real Deirdre. I didn’t wake up and realize how selfish she was till Dad died.”
“Just because Dee isn’t here to defend herself, I won’t let you get away with saying things against her—”
Hannah wished she could disappear.
Brandon interrupted, “I should have known better than to fall for Deirdre! She drove a wedge between us from the beginning. I came back from school out east and thought you two had just dated. Why didn’t you tell me what the depths of your feelings were for her? You still haven’t forgiven me for marrying your first love, but you don’t know how lucky you are. Did it ever occur to you that the reason I couldn’t help Lynda or you out was that Deirdre spent every penny I made before I even brought the check home? Do you know how I felt when Dee told me she was leaving me? You couldn’t guess. After four years with her, I felt nothing but relief!” Brandon turned away and hustled down the steps.
Guthrie headed after him. Hannah was right behind Guthrie. At the bottom, Brandon headed to the party, but Guthrie turned to the door. Hannah followed him. One second outside and chill rain soaked Hannah to her skin. Guthrie hurried ahead of her. By the dim light of the high pole lamp, she ran after him, slipping and stumbling on the wet gravel. He reached his truck and wrenched open the door. Sprinting, she closed the gap in time to throw open the passenger door as he cranked the key in the ignition.
“I’m going home!” he shouted over the noise of the rain pounding on the truck’s roof.
“I’m coming, too!” She clambered inside and slammed the door behind her.
He clenched the steering wheel. “Stay here. I’m not going to be good company.”
“You shouldn’t be alone now.” Brandon’s words about marrying Guthrie’s first love must be true. The thought made Hannah heartsick.
“I’m going to be alone the rest of my life.” He glared at her. “I might as well accept that fact.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Her words startled her, but she wouldn’t take them back. It didn’t have to mean anything more than one friend helping another. Even though she wanted so much more from Guthrie. Pushing away her own reaction to Brandon’s news, she matched Guthrie’s stare. Rain dripped from her hair and slid down the back of her neck.
He gunned the motor and took off.
Chapter Thirteen
Hannah had to hold on to the handgrip over the door as he sped down the road and out of town. The late September wind had picked up, and the rain could only be termed a deluge. The wipers battled in vain. She didn’t know how Guthrie managed to stay on the road. The only explanation was that he knew the road well enough to navigate without seeing it.
She wished she’d brought her purse and cell phone with her. She hoped her parents wouldn’t worry about her. But they would want her to stay with Guthrie and help him get over the shock of hearing that Deirdre had left Brandon for another man. After the breakup with Edward, Hannah knew how he must be feeling.
Guthrie slowed at an intersection.
Before Hannah could gasp, a low black car came out of nowhere—right across their path.
The truck fishtailed. Guthrie wrestled the steering wheel. He pumped the brakes. The truck skidded to a halt, sliding onto the muddy shoulder.
He jerked it into park. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Hannah leaned her head back, the shock waves vibrating through her.
“Idiot!” He hit the wheel with both hands. “He could have killed someone!”
She nodded. Us! He could have killed us! God, go with that driver and please keep him from hurting anyone, himself included.
Guthrie threw open his door and climbed out.
Anxious to help, Hannah got out the passenger side, right into the muddy shoulder. Her sandals sunk into the mire up to her ankles.
Gripping the door, she hoisted herself onto the seat, composed herself, then lifted her feet outside into the shower. Within seconds, the mud had been rained off. She closed her door and crawled over to the other side and let herself out, her need to help Guthrie pushing her i
nto the harsh elements. God, guide Guthrie so he can see the truth about himself and his family. Help him to feel Your love for him.
In the glow of the red rear lights, Guthrie was standing on the highway staring at his back passenger side wheel, buried in the muck up to the bottom of the wheel rim.
“Can you get it out?” she shouted, shivering, her wet clothes clinging to her in the lashing wind.
“Yeah! I’m just disgusted with myself for getting stuck.”
That sounded more like the Guthrie she’d come to know. Already his good humor and honesty were reasserting themselves. Thank Heaven! “It wasn’t your fault! Anyone else wouldn’t have been able to avoid a collision!”
He climbed up over the wheel well and into the truck bed. “Can you help?” He held a long wood plank over the side to her.
“Sure!” She accepted one, then another rough, wet plank and propped them against the side of the truck.
He climbed out and took one.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ll put these under the wheel, then drive onto them and out.”
“Won’t they just sink in the mud?” she asked. “I tried to get out the other side and sunk up to my ankles.”
“It’s all I’ve got!”
“Okay.” She watched him work the planks under the mired wheel.
“Get in,” he directed.
She hopped inside and slid across the seat. He climbed in and slowly gave the truck enough gas to ease them out of the mud. He parked on the road with his four-way flashers on, then retrieved his planks and threw them into the truck bed.
The rest of the way home he drove more carefully, and she started to relax in spite of her soaked clothing and concern for Guthrie. By the time they reached the farmhouse, she was shivering in earnest with the chill.
“You’re going to catch a cold,” he said gruffly.
“I’ll be f-fine.”
“I’m going to get you inside and into a hot shower.”
She thought of arguing and then wondered why. This was the Guthrie she loved, the man who couldn’t help caring for others. She grinned. “Sounds too good to be true.”
He parked and hustled her through the unrelenting rain and in the back door. “Now run upstairs and shower. I’ll put the kettle on for hot tea.”
“Oh, please, I’d love some of that spiced cider your mom brought from the farmer’s market, warmed up.”
“I’ll put it on now.” He pushed her toward the staircase. “Take your time.”
She paused. “I’ll save you some hot water.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m not cold. I’ll just change into some dry clothes.”
Hannah hurried through a steamy shower and into her new blue flannel pajamas and matching thick terry-cloth robe and slippers.
“Cider’s hot,” Guthrie called from the kitchen. “Your parents called and said they’d be home soon.”
She scurried down the steps and into the warm kitchen, redolent with the fragrance of apples and cinnamon. “Mmm. That smells delicious.” She sat down and accepted the daisy mug with a cinnamon stick in it. She held the cup between her hands and touched it to her cheek, then her forehead, enjoying the warmth it radiated. Her kitten, Sunny, hopped on her lap and began kneading a spot on the thick terry cloth for himself. Hannah enjoyed petting the soft fur, the cat’s purring soothing her frazzled nerves.
Guthrie sat across from her, still looking upset.
Dear man. “Why don’t you tell me about it? A trouble shared is a trouble halved.”
He hung his head. “What do I need to tell you? You heard it all. No secrets left.”
Impulsively, she reached over and took his hand. Her palm tingled with the contact. Edward’s touch never overwhelmed her like this. “I told you about my engagement.”
“I don’t have any engagement to tell you about.”
“Brandon said—”
“My brother said a lot, too much.”
His dour mood had lifted, but traces lingered. She hated the fact that a woman had come between the brothers. Whether Brandon’s words had been true or not, they’d upset Guthrie. She didn’t know what to say, how to go on. She closed her eyes, asking for inspiration, then looking up, she asked, “Don’t you trust me, Guthrie?”
At this, he met her gaze. “Sure.”
“We’ve become friends, and friends don’t dodge the truth.”
“I guess so.” He nodded.
“Did Brandon tell the truth? Did you love the girl he married?”
He slipped his hand from hers. “Yes.”
Bereft of his touch, she waited, letting this one word really sink in. She shivered at what it meant. Guthrie had loved Deirdre. It explained so much, why Guthrie hadn’t married yet, why he hadn’t been happy to see his brother come home for a visit. Guthrie’s faithfulness was one of his most endearing traits, but it could also work against him. Did he still have feelings for Deirdre? He hadn’t given Hannah any hint of it. Did she have a chance with this man?
Still stroking the silky kitten, she began slowly. “I thought I was in love with Edward. Maybe you thought you were in love with Deirdre. Perhaps if you saw her now, you’d think a lot differently.”
“I can’t believe what Brandon said. Deirdre loved him.” He twisted halfway from her.
“But we all change. You’re remembering a high school girl.” She longed to rise and walk around the table. She wanted to cradle Guthrie’s face in her two hands and stroke his thick hair. He was such a dear man. She’d never thought or felt this about Edward. Why hadn’t she noticed it at the time?
She forced herself to concentrate on the words he needed to hear. “Even if Deirdre came back here, do you think she’d still be the same girl you knew?”
He shrugged and propped his elbows on his thighs. His chin rested on his fists. “I don’t know what to tell you. Everything’s happened all at once.”
“I don’t know how you feel about me now. But I thought the other evening after Hunter was found, you and I came close to… I think we could become more than friends, Guthrie. Or, at least, we have a chance to go in that direction.” She paused, her heart speeding up with uneasiness. She had to be honest, but she couldn’t take all the risks. Guthrie had to do his part.
He stared at the floor. “Dee and I dated on and off all through high school. She’d run hot, then cold, if you know what I mean.” He glanced up.
Hannah nodded.
“After senior prom, I told her I loved her, but she didn’t want to marry. She said she wasn’t ready to settle down. I thought I’d just have to wait until she was ready.”
Closing her eyes, Hannah imagined how Guthrie must have reasoned this out.
“Then I graduated from high school and Brandon came back after finishing law school. Mom and Dad had a party for us. The next thing I knew Dee and he were dating, then when he got a job offer in San Francisco, they eloped.”
Hannah hated to be cynical, but everything Guthrie said made her believe Brandon’s words at the church had been true.
“The only way I accepted Dee marrying Brandon was that she loved him more than she had cared for me. But now he tells me she didn’t. How can I believe in love?”
Oh, Guthrie, you don’t understand subterfuge, dishonesty or selfishness at all. Lord, give me the words, Your healing words.
Careful not to disturb the kitten napping on her lap, she took his hand. “You do believe in love. I don’t think you realize what a loving man you are. You are a man filled with love for his family. That’s love.”
“That’s not the kind of love I mean.”
“Every kind of good love is related. Don’t tell me you don’t believe in love when I see the love you have in action.”
He pulled his hand away and wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“Guthrie, are you going to let all that you are, your strength of character, your kind heart, be turned inward, wasted? Or are you going to share it?”
He turned a sombe
r gaze to her.
I love you, Guthrie! She imagined wrapping her arms around Guthrie and reveling in his warm, brawny embrace. “You helped your sister when she really needed it. Not just with money, but with time and affection for her children. You’ve forgiven the man who hurt her and your father during his last days on earth. You carry a load of debt for Lynda and her children, yet you didn’t charge the church a penny for the labor to fix the roof. You are a wonderful man.”
He pushed his fingers through his hair. “I’m just a regular guy.”
She swallowed, gathering her courage. She had to shock him out of this blue funk. “You have to use the same honesty with Brandon that you used with Billy.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean when you saw how much Billy loved his kids, you began to give him a second chance.” The kitten on her lap slept peacefully as she stroked its soft fur. The cat’s blissful slumber contrasted with the wrenching emotion in Guthrie’s voice. She centered herself in her love for Guthrie, her spirit of trust in God.
“How can I know if what Brandon has said is true?”
“Maybe that isn’t what God’s trying to get you to learn with Brandon.”
“Well, what am I supposed to be learning?” Guthrie grumbled.
Hannah gathered her thoughts. “You changed toward Billy because you saw that he had changed, reformed. Maybe with Brandon, you need to show love to him whether he’s right or not. God doesn’t love us because we’re good. He just loves us—no matter what.”
Guthrie stilled, gazing into her eyes. “For while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,” he recited softly.
She nodded and replied with a companion verse. “We love Him because He first loved us.”
He exhaled deeply. “I’ll pray about it, but I’ll need God’s help to get over this…if I can get over this.” He looked into her eyes. “Why do you put up with me, Hannah Kirkland?” He lifted her hand and kissed it.
Her heart thrummed in her ears.
“I’m sorry if I upset you tonight,” Guthrie continued. “I wish we could go away somewhere and be together. There are so many things I’ve wanted to tell you, but here it’s just one thing after another—”