“Unless he doesn’t.” She nods. “But…”
I knew she was going to stick up for him. Again, I remind myself she doesn’t deserve any grief. “You love him. I get it.”
“He’s a good man, Hadley. He’s just going through a bad time. He loves us.”
“I know, Mom. I know.”
While I eat quietly, she seems happy with the conversation we just had. She deserves to be happy. She works hard for us.
“You want to sleep in?” she asks, as she takes my empty plate.
“Maybe fifteen minutes, but I have a test in math class tomorrow.”
Once my stomach is full, I give her a hug then head upstairs to change for bed.
Fifteen minutes is all I need, I think as I lie down, and I will be able to avoid a conversation with Lana … and Pax.
~~~
As luck would have it, or at least my luck, it’s raining, and I have a flat tire on my bike that’s still in the bushes. I look down at Yolo, who flops on his side at my feet, yawns, and stretches.
“You have it so bad, Yolo,” I say as I step over him and sit down on the steps, hoping to wait out the rain.
Apparently, I am not supposed to ignore him because he sinks a claw into my hip. When I jerk away, he starts purring.
“Neutered,” I hiss at him, and he rolls to his side, flopping closer to me. “One more poke and it’s to the vet you go, Yolo. I’m not even joking.”
He seems to take it as a challenge as his purr becomes louder, and he reaches closer to me.
“Try me,” I snap.
He yawns and rolls his eyes—I swear he does—then rolls to his other side.
I look at my phone as the rain starts coming down even harder. Then I flop back on the porch and look at the ceiling as I wait it out.
“Hey, new girl.” My eyes pop open to see his brilliant blue eyes staring down at me. I look at him for too long, but it’s an almost hopeless cause not to. He is wearing dark jeans—not the skin tight rocker jeans some boys try to pull off, although I bet he could actually pull it off—and a white and blue striped polo shirt. This only makes his eyes stand out even more. “Need a ride?”
I sit up, a bit dazed, and shake my head. I look around for Lana, expecting her to have put him up to this.
“Come on; it’s pouring.”
“I’ll wait it out,” I answer, without looking at him.
He sits down next to me. “She didn’t mean it, you know.”
Still, I say nothing, but emotions burn and then swell in my eyes. I wish he would just go away. I really wish he hadn’t mentioned the incident at all.
“She was angry. She does feel bad.”
I glance over out of the corner of my eye, giving him a “yeah, right” look.
“Well, she will when she stops being pissed at you for being pissed at her.” He shakes his head, and his lip curves up on the corner. “Girls.”
“Girls?” I ask, wondering what that is supposed to mean.
“Emotional.”
“Right,” I huff.
“Let me give you a ride.” He stands and offers his hand.
I shake my head again.
“I won’t leave until you say yes.”
“Boys,” I retort, as I stand on my own.
“Boys?”
“Stubborn.”
“Hey, whatever works.”
Deciding to give in, I ride with him to school, but no words are exchanged.
~~~
I spend the rest of the week avoiding everyone at school. I still sit next to Lana, but neither of us say a word. I hide in the bathroom at lunch and refuse eye contact. Bee and Skylar seem to know what’s going on, and they give me space. Or they give her what she wants, which is fine since she was here first. Pax refuses to be ignored, though. Every day, he has picked me up after dropping off Lana, and every day, I have tried to ignore him.
Today, I don’t try.
“Wow, you’re just gonna get right in? No telling me you’re fine. No—”
“You don’t listen, anyway,” I say, as I pull the seatbelt over my shoulder and buckle it.
He laughs, putting the car in drive.
We pass by Blue Valley High and hang a left, going toward the lake. I haven’t been here yet, just driven by. It’s bigger than it looks from the road and surrounded by trees. The water is pretty clear as far as lake water goes.
After we cross over the railroad tracks, he pulls into the park in front of the inlet. I say nothing as my heart beats out of my chest. With no idea why he brought me here, I look down at my phone, avoiding him as he gets out of the car.
“Come on.”
I don’t move while he walks around the car and opens the door.
“Why are we here?”
“Why not?” he asks, pulling his aviator sunglasses down to cover his eyes.
“I don’t—”
“Hadley, walk with me.”
I get out and follow him as he starts walking toward the well-maintained lawn by the water. We make our way to the dark brown sandy part, and I expect him to stop, but he doesn’t.
“We moved here three years ago when I was your age, and Lana was twelve. Our parents had just gotten married. Small towns like this will eat you alive if you let them, so you don’t let them. You focus on who you know you are and not what their small-minded misconceptions of you are. They make up what they want to, and there is absolutely no sense in fighting it. Lana took a lot of crap when we moved here. She was twelve, at a new school. Everything was new, different, and scary. I’m not making excuses for her behavior, but she has been through a lot.”
I look up at him, confused. “With Claire? Why are you with her then, if—?”
“I’m not with her. We’re friends. I am friends with everyone. It makes life easier.”
I nod, kind of understanding.
“I guess what I am getting at, Hadley, is she has never been happier than she is when she is with you. I really hope you can forgive her. She’s a good girl.”
We are standing on the little peninsula by the lighthouse, overlooking the lake. The water is rough, mirroring my emotions.
“Claire isn’t mean to me, and she never says anything bad about Lana to me.” I hope it doesn’t upset him, but why should it? He seems to keep her close, too.
“She’s not a good enemy to have—that’s for sure—but back then, when she said that crazy stuff about Lana, it was because I broke up with her. I wasn’t interested in playing the popularity game, and that’s what she is all about. I think she’s changed, though. I don’t like what she did, but we all have our issues.”
“The social classes.” I shake my head. I don’t like them. Too exclusive, too judgmental.
He looks over and gives me a smile that puts me at ease. “Jocks, preps, nerds—which one are you, Hadley? Better question, who do you want to be?”
“Am I supposed to know that at fifteen?” I ask quietly. I am not a dreamer in the typical sense. I am not even sure what I want, but I will someday.
“No. Absolutely not, because putting yourself in a class is so constraining,” he says in mock exaggeration. “Wars are started over differences.”
“Where do you consider yourself?”
“Well, right now, I hope I’m being a friend to a kid—” I inwardly cringe at the word ‘kid,’ and he stops talking. Apparently, it wasn’t just inward. “To the new girl,” he corrects himself, “who seems to be in a situation I understand. I just wanted to offer some advice.”
“You could have texted me.”
“I wasn’t sure I had the right number. You never replied to the ones I sent.”
“I was upset that night. I wasn’t trying to be rude.”
“I get that, but how about the ones I have sent all week?” he asks, as he bends down and grabs a few pieces of shale.
“You haven’t sent any others,” I say in confusion, as I pull my phone from my pocket.
He looks over at my phone and laughs. “Airplane mode.
”
“What?”
He takes my phone as he chuckles, thumbing through it and hitting a few buttons.
My phone goes crazy with messages and alerts, and I can’t help laughing at my forgetfulness.
“I bet you thought no one cared. Not true, new girl. Damn, your Insta is off the hook.” He keeps looking through my phone, and for some reason, I let him. “Oh, wow, you do that role play thing, too? What is with you girls?”
I shake my head. “Fangirls. Books.”
“Ah, yes, of course.” He hands me my phone then proceeds to skip rocks. “Looks like you were missed while off the grid.”
After he is done skipping stones, he watches me as I read through the messages. Twenty-two missed messages from Skylar, Bee, Claire, Lana, and the ones from him. When I look up, I can’t help smiling.
“It seems so.”
“So, new girl, where do you see yourself?”
“District 11, faction-less daughter of Nike, caste five, and—”
“Fangirl references.” He nods. “See? You and Lana are one in the same.”
“Where do you see yourself?”
He looks at his watch. “I see myself missing first period, and I’m all right with that.”
“Oh, wow. Oh—”
“You gonna be in trouble?” he asks, as we walk toward his car.
“Are you?”
“No. They don’t call home until after second period class, and I’ll be there by then.”
“I think I would really like to just go home.” My parents will be fine with it. Mom’s at work and Dad will never know I even left.
“Really? Now, why would you do that and miss out on a perfectly good day at school?” He smirks and points to my phone. “You have some reading to catch up on?”
“Maybe.” I try to hold back a smirk … and fail.
Tutus & Cowboy Boots
Part 1
By Casey Peeler
Chapter1
Cadence
I grab my dance bag and toss it over my shoulder. Laura, my best friend and duet partner, walks out of the dance studio behind me.
“So this is it,” she says with sadness in her voice.
“I guess so. What am I going to do without you?” I ask as she embraces me. “I mean why did my dad have to do something so stupid? And why am I the one being punished for it?” I ask as we pull apart.
“Just promise me if you have a chance to come back home, you will. I don’t know how you’re going to survive out there in the middle of nowhere. Do they even have cellphones?” Laura questions.
“Yeah, I’m sure they do but who knows if there will be any signal in the middle of a field. Well, I better get going. I have dinner tonight with Dad and his home-wrecking secretary. Maybe if I put on a smile, he’ll change his mind.”
“I got my fingers crossed,” she says while holding up her hands. I smile, but deep down I know better. My father is a selfish son-of-a-bitch. Not only did he mess around with his secretary, but he didn’t even put up a fight for me so tonight is our goodbye dinner. I know Laura wants me to come back, but it will never happen. I just hope and pray that my future isn’t as bleak as I envision it.
As I walk into our spacious apartment, I quickly drop my dance bag in the laundry room and hurry to get ready. Dad moved out six months ago and now this house is cold and all my memories that made it a home are all distorted. I knew Mom would sell it eventually, but I wasn’t prepared for her to move out of the city. And we’re not just moving to the suburbs, we’re moving to fucking Hillbilly USA. Never in my life did I think my mom would resort back to her Southern roots. She always told me she left for a full-ride to NYU and she’d never move back. When she met my dad, I’m betting she didn’t see this in her future. Tomorrow morning, we’re loading up our new Suburban, also known as our peace offering from Dad, and heading south to Delight, North Carolina. I can tell you right now, there’s nothing delightful about that town.
I check the time on my phone and have exactly fifteen minutes to catch the subway to get to Dad’s on time. I arrive at the station with five minutes to spare. As I stand waiting on the platform, I wonder if he’s going to do something special tonight. Oh! Maybe he’s changed his mind and will ask me to stay. I continue to ponder the possibilities as I take my seat. At exactly seven o’clock I knock on Dad’s door and am greeted by the home-wrecking bimbo. I smile as sweetly as possible, but underneath I want to take my nails and mess up that pretty face and rip out that bleach-blond hair. She lets me know Dad is in his office as I step into the apartment.
“Hey Dad,” I say as I lean on the doorframe.
“Hey Cadence. How was school and dance today?” he questions like he genuinely cares.
“It was great! I had so much fun telling everyone goodbye,” I say sarcastically.
He pauses and looks at me. “Don’t be like this. You’re leaving tomorrow. Can we please have a pleasant night?”
“Of course,” I say as I turn to help the bimbo set the table.
Dinner is the same routine it has been each week since he moved out. I try to convince him to let me stay here and he gives me the same bullshit about needing time with the bimbo, and making their relationship work. I want to scream, what about our relationship? I’m your favorite girl. At least that’s what he always said. I guess he lied.
When we finish eating, I leave my dishes on the table. That bitch can clean them her damn self. Dad asks me to sit on the patio with him. He makes small talk for a few minutes, and then I know what’s coming. Goodbye.
“Cadence, I really wish things were different, but your mother believes that going to Delight will be best for you. I agree.”
“What about what I think? I’ve lived in New York my entire life. Do you really think that I’m going to be able to fit in, in that spec of a town? Not to mention it’s my senior year. I have some amazing companies looking at me. Dad, everything is done. I need to be with Lauren. We’ve already choreographed our senior piece. How am I going to find a partner, learn a new piece and find a decent school? These are big name companies. They don't want someone from some little hick town. You sent me to these schools because they were the best. Do you honestly think the best are in Delight, North Carolina?”
“It will work out.”
“Right, just like you and Mom.” I stand. “I guess I need to get home so I can finish packing,” I say as I stalk toward the door.
“Cadence, don’t do this. I don’t want you to leave like this.” I start to laugh as I turn to face him.
“Funny thing is. You didn’t think once about me and how I felt when you put our family second. Bye Dad.” As I open the door, he calls to me.
“Cadence!” I take in a deep breath and stop in the doorway. “No matter what I love you. Just remember that.” I nod.
“Love you too Dad,” I say as I close the door. It’s true because no matter what, he’s my dad.
Walking up to our building, I see every light is on in our apartment. I take a deep breath. I don’t want to cry. I want to be mad. Mad at my dad who doesn’t want me and mad at my mom who is taking me away from everything I’ve ever known. I check my reflection in my camera app to make sure no tears have escaped then make my way inside.
“Cade, is that you?” Mom asks as I pass her bedroom.
“Yes,” I say hurrying to my room. I don’t want to talk right now.
“How did it go?”
I laugh. “How do you think?”
I kick off my shoes, and Mom walks into my room as I begin to remove my jewelry. “That bad, huh?”
“Oh, best time ever, Mom,” I scoff.
“I’m sorry,” she says as she pulls me into her arms. I refuse to cry in front of her.
“It’s okay. I don’t need him.”
“Actually, it’s not. As much as I want to say you don’t need him. I know that he’s your dad, and you do. Things will change. Just give it time.” I nod. “Now, you need to go to bed soon. Tomorrow is going to b
e a long day. The movers will be here at eight.”
“Okay. Night Mom,” I say.
“Love you, Cadence.”
“Love you, too.”
Chapter 2
Cadence
“Cadence.” I hear my mom’s voice as she knocks on the door. I pull the covers over my head. “Cade. It’s time to get up,” she says. I hear my door creak open and know I have no choice. It’s time to face reality. My life, as I know it, is over. Feeling a dip in the bed, I wait to hear what she has to say next.
“Honey, I hate this as much as you do, but it’s what’s best for us. Gran is willing to let us stay with her until we can get on our feet. Who knows maybe you’ll even like it there,” she says as she pulls the covers back. I pull my pillow on top of my head to keep out the light. “Seriously, Cadence. We don’t have much time. The moving crew will be here soon.” Knowing there are only a few items left to move, I get out of bed. “That’s my girl. Come on. Once they finish up, we’ll be on our way.”
I put on something fashionable yet comfortable for our ten-hour ride to Delight. Pulling my covers off my bed, I quickly fold my comforter and say goodbye to my bed. I might have to say goodbye to it, but there’s no way in hell I’m leaving my Lilly Pulitzer comforter. That’s out!
Walking toward the foyer, Mom stares at me. “What?” I ask.
“You know we can buy a new one,” she says.
“Yeah, but this is mine, and I’m not leaving it,” I say.
She shrugs her shoulders, and brushes it off. We take the remainder of our personal items and place them in the Suburban. Thankfully, Mom has shipped most of our clothes and valuables. We are taking a final look around the apartment when the movers arrive. Not only is Mom selling the apartment, she’s selling all the furniture. She said Gran has everything we need for now so it’s not worth taking it with us. Gran’s idea of décor and this place are polar opposites so I think Mom is crazy for not wanting to keep our stuff. When I pushed her to keep some of it, she grumbled something about not wanting any of his crap as a reminder. It all just sucks and Gran’s house is a time warp to the sixties with god-awful country flair. It would be nice to have some pieces to remind me of home.
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