Harper reached over and squeezed his forearm as he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “It’ll get better.”
Nodding, he took the bag of food from her lap and opened the driver’s door. “I know it will. I just have to get past this feeling of being in limbo.”
Not waiting for a response, he climbed out and walked around to the passenger side to open her door for her. One of the things the Navy and being a Dom had taught him was how to be a gentleman to women of all ages. Without a father and with two poor maternal figures raising him, many simple manners had escaped him during his youth. If it hadn’t been for a few good teachers in his elementary and high schools, Marco probably could have been classified as a Neanderthal by the time he entered basic training.
After unlocking the front door, he held it open for Harper, then followed her into the kitchen. Working together in silence, it wasn’t long before they were seated at the dining room table with full, heated plates of food and glasses of Pinot Grigio.
Harper swallowed a piece of chicken marsala and picked up her wine glass. “It was so sweet of the school children to sing ‘Amazing Grace’ at the service. It was beautiful.”
Nodding his head, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It was. That little girl who did the solo has some voice on her. Their music teacher said they’d been practicing it for weeks, ever since we found out there was nothing more the doctors could do. Nina had called the principal to give him an update, so the school could prepare for the news when she passed.”
“She told me. She said that back in junior high, one of her favorite teachers was killed in a car accident, and it was so hard on a lot of the students. She didn’t want the announcement to be a sudden shock to her kids like that. Nina loved them as much as they loved her. She left quite a legacy behind at that school.”
A sad smile spread across his face. “That she did.”
After they finished eating, they shared the chore of cleaning up. Marco returned from wiping the crumbs from the dining room table to see Harper standing still at the sink with her back to him. But she wasn’t completely still—the small movement of her shoulders made him realize she was crying although he didn’t hear a sound. Tossing the sponge on the counter, he grasped her elbow and turned her into his arms. “Shhh. It’s okay. You’ve been a rock through all this, so I was wondering when you were finally going to crack.”
Harper let out an un-lady-like snort before crying harder, her sobs now audible. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her tight. She rested her head on his shoulders as the grief she’d been holding back for days came to the surface. “I’m...I’m s-sorry.”
“Shhh. No apologies. Just let it all out. I’ve got you.”
* * *
Present
The steady beep of Harper’s heart monitor was a comfort and a curse. The noise was irritating, but it also meant she was still stable. The doctors had been optimistic she would wake at some point in the next few hours, but it couldn’t happen fast enough for Marco. One, he wouldn’t be convinced she was going to be okay until she opened those hazel eyes, which changed color depending on what she was wearing, and recognized him. And two, he wanted to hear from her lips that the baby was his, although, as soon as the little rug-rat had woken from her nap, it was crystal clear to everyone she was his daughter. She had his eyes and his mother’s nose, which both he and Nina had inherited as well. However, after his was broken in a bar fight during his early days in the Navy, it looked nothing like it used to.
Nina. Huh! His kid sister was in the great beyond, laughing her ass off at him now…it was either that or she wanted to kick his ass. He absentmindedly rubbed the tattoo, which he’d gotten shortly after her death, on his left upper arm. Hers was the only woman’s name that would ever be inked on his skin. She’d known very well how much he was against having kids of his own and his reasons why, despite her protests that he could overcome their crappy childhood and open his heart to a wife and children.
A wife and children. Holy fuck!
He dragged his hand through his hair. Marriage? Fuck, am I going to have to marry Harper? While the thought of Holy Matrimony filled him with dread, things could be worse—thankfully, the two of them got along well and were both obviously attracted to each other. And the sex that night had been off the charts. But what about the D/s lifestyle? It was a deep-seated part of him now. Would he be able to convince her to give it a try? Fuck! What the hell was he thinking? He wasn’t husband material—for that matter, he wasn’t father material either. Marriage was not an option.
A moan had his gaze whipping to where Harper lay in the hospital bed. She stirred for a moment before falling silent again. Well, that was a good sign, he guessed. It was the first sound she’d made all night. His eyes roamed her face. God, her skin was almost as white as the sheets she was on. Who had done this to her and why? Even if this was all a misunderstanding and the baby wasn’t his, he would still hunt down the bastard who’d dared to hurt Harper. He owed it to his sister, and to her, to make sure she and the baby were safe. Then he would give her whatever financial support she needed, and when she met someone who would make a good husband and father, he would step aside and let her be happy. Fuck!
A cup of coffee entered his line of vision and, momentarily startled, he glanced up to see Brody handing him the brew.
“You look like you could use a good cup of coffee. Unfortunately, all I could find was this sludge—it just might double the hair on your balls.”
Marco snorted and took the proffered cup. “Thanks.”
Tilting his head toward the bed, Brody asked, “How’s she doing?”
“The doctor hasn’t been in yet, but the nurses tell me her vitals are stable. She was moving and moaning a minute ago, so hopefully she’ll be waking up soon.”
“Good.” His friend stuck his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and sighed heavily. “When she does wake up, bro, just channel the man all the subs like to bring their problems to for comfort and don’t go all pissed-off Dom on her. There’s got to be a good reason why she didn’t tell you about Mara and why her mother thinks you didn’t want anything to do with them.”
“Really?” He shook his head as his anger began to surface again, but his gaze stayed on the woman in question. “Maybe Harper regretted having my kid and told her mother I was the bad guy in all this. It’s not like she didn’t know how to fucking find me.”
A frown came over his teammate’s face and his voice dropped in noticeable annoyance. “Don’t give me that fucking shit. I saw and talked to her almost as much as you did during Nina’s cancer. She’s good people, and I refuse to believe she intentionally hid your baby from you. And stop trying to convince yourself Mara’s not yours, fucktard.”
Leave it to his best friend to let him know he was being an ass. He knew Brody chose to see the best in people he met, despite seeing the worst mankind could do to each other as a SEAL and operative. But Marco couldn’t get past the fact that Harper had been pregnant for nine months, and it had been five months since she’d given birth, and he was just finding out about it now.
Unable to meet the geek’s irritated glare, he stared out the window. The sun had been up for about an hour or so…life was continuing as normal for so many people and he wished like hell he was one of them. “Hey, change of subject, how the hell did you do that last night…with the baby, I mean?”
“What the fuck are you talking about? What did I do with the baby?”
He faced the other man. “You know…holding her and all that…that baby talk shit.”
A soft bark of laughter escaped Brody and his eyes lit up in amusement. “Baby talk shit? Oh my friend, do you have a lot to learn. I know kids give you the heebie-jeebies, but holding a baby is a piece of cake. Now, changing diapers is something to freak out about. Especially when that shit starts to smell. It’s yucky poo-poo, as my nephew, Brendan, would say.”
That’s when it hit Marco. Back in Texas, the geek had three sisters and
two brothers. They’d started cranking out rug rats a few years ago, which was right around the time Marco had stopped visiting them with his buddy. The Evans family was close, loud, and boisterous, and very, very, big huggers. While they had always welcomed him with open arms, he tended to feel out of sorts amid the chaos, which always seemed to occur with the large family. Growing up, Nina and he never had friends over, and while he did have friends in school, their parents weren’t always too keen on having him in their homes. He hadn’t been a bad kid. He’d just lacked manners, decent clothes which hadn’t come from a thrift store, and had a foul mouth on him, thanks to his mother and grandmother’s penchant for cursing. Now he was comfortable in groups and one on one, but he still had trouble adjusting to his friends’ energetic families. He preferred things to be low-key gatherings, and still felt like the outsider, waiting to be told he wasn’t good enough to be invited into people’s homes.
Soft sounds emanating from the bed caught both of their attention. “Mmm. Mara…Mara…”
Leaping from the chair, Marco hurried to Harper’s side and took her hand in his. “Harper…Harper, sweetheart, wake up.”
Her head whipped back and forth on the pillow as the beeping from the monitor picked up speed. Her arms and legs struggled to fight whoever or whatever her unconscious mind had conjured up. She moaned louder and the pain he heard there pierced his gut. “Brody, get a doctor in here.”
“On it.” The geek rushed out of the room.
Marco stroked her cheek, being careful to avoid the bruises on her face from when she’d hit the floor after being knocked down. “Harper, honey. Wake up. The baby’s okay. You’re okay. Come on, sweetheart. If you wake up, I’ll have your mom bring the baby here, so you can see for yourself she’s okay.”
“Mara!” Her scream was followed by her jerking awake and her eyes flashing open in sheer panic. Obviously confused, she began swinging her arms and fists at him, and he grasped her wrists so she wouldn’t hurt herself…or punch his lights out. Damn, the woman could pack a wallop. He wondered what she could do if she was completely aware of her surroundings.
“Harper. Shhh. It’s okay. It’s me…Marco. Calm down.”
“W-what?” She stilled as her eyes focused on him. “Marco? Where am I? Where’s my b…”
He saw the moment she realized she almost said ‘baby’ before she slammed her mouth shut again. His teeth ground against each other. Now wasn’t the time to discuss why she hadn’t told him he was a father, there would be plenty of time for that later. Taking his teammate’s advice, he channeled his inner, gentle, understanding Dom. Yeah, good luck with that. “The baby’s okay. She’s with your mom.” Her relief was evident on her face. “Do you remember what happened?”
The look of confusion returned as she tugged one of her wrists from his grasp and brought it to her bandaged head. “I don’t…I’m not sure. What happened?”
They were interrupted by Brody’s return with a doctor and nurse in tow. Marco stepped away from the bed so they could exam her, but remained close by. Vitals were checked, a light was flashed into her eyes, and a litany of questions were asked to determine if she knew her name, the date, and who the president was, among other things. After the doctor said he wanted to keep her another day for observation, Harper became upset. “No! I can’t. I have to get home to take care of my baby. I can’t stay here.”
The doctor eyed Marco who nodded. “No worries. She’s not going anywhere. Her mother is watching the baby.”
“But…”
His glare told her he’d tie her to the bed if he had to. “No buts, Harper. I’ll tell you everything that happened, but you’re staying here until the doctor says you can go home. End of argument.”
He could see she wanted to prove him wrong and continue to argue, but she wisely kept quiet until the doctor and nurse left the room. But then all bets and kid gloves were off. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” she hissed.
“For now, I’m your bodyguard…” He couldn’t hold back any longer. “And apparently the father of your baby.”
Her mouth opened and closed several times in shock until Brody cleared his throat and they both turned to face him. “Should I stay and play referee, or should I step outside and keep everyone else away from the door while you two hash this out?” He grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “Personally, I’d like to stay and watch the fireworks.”
“Out,” they growled simultaneously.
The pain-in-the-ass sighed dramatically and headed for the door. “Fine. Just keep the decibel level down, will ya? This place is filled with sick people trying to get better, and some really hot looking nurses—especially the brunette doing paperwork at the desk. Holler if you need me—but not too loudly.”
The moment the door closed and they were alone, Harper sat up, and despite the blood draining from her face at the sudden movement, pulled the blanket off her body. When she began to swing her legs over the side, Marco growled. “Don’t fucking think about it, Harper. You’re not going anywhere and you won’t like what I’ll do to you if you try to get out of that bed.”
Instead of arguing with him, Harper’s coloring turned from white to green and she clutched her stomach. Having seen that look before many times in the military, and on Nina’s face after her chemotherapy sessions, Marco lunged for the plastic basin on the bedside table. Throwing it into Harper’s hands, he was just in time as she puked into it. The stench curled his own gut, but he fought the urge to join her while he pulled her hair out of the way as she emptied the contents of her stomach. When the retching finally slowed, she began to sob and Marco’s heart clenched.
CHAPTER 5
Thirteen Months Ago
Harper had been trying to suppress falling apart for Marco’s sake, but the past few days…hell, the past few months came crashing down around her. Nina had been closer to her than her own sister had ever been, and watching her dwindle down to ninety pounds as her life drained from her body had been heart-wrenching. They had become best friends within a week of being assigned as dormitory roommates in college and it wasn’t long before they were telling each other their deepest darkest secrets. Secrets about which they were sworn to silence.
Marco’s strong arms enveloped her as she cried into his shoulder. His hands rubbed up and down her back slowly while his solid chest rumbled with his low murmurs of comfort. The heat from his body warmed the chill which had sent shivers down her spine. Inhaling deeply, she savored the leather and citrus scent of his cologne. Nina had gotten it for him a few Christmases ago, and after smelling it on him that first time, it had become Harper’s favorite scent. Unfortunately, it made her wish Marco wasn’t the man he was, instead of being the man she wanted him to be. The man she could fall in love with and who would fall in love with her. The man who would marry, settle down and have children, and, eventually, grandchildren with her. Nina had been after him to open up his heart to a woman he could spend a lifetime with, but he’d made it clear on several occasions that a wife and children were something he would never commit to. And Harper refused to settle.
As her sobs ebbed, she lifted her head and brushed the last few tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it in front of you.”
He didn’t respond, nor did he release her. In fact, she swore his embrace tightened around her. The temperature of the room appeared to have spiked sometime in the last few minutes and the air crackled with sexual electricity. She was suddenly aware of the bulge in his pants, which she couldn’t ignore if she tried. His charcoal-colored eyes pierced her own hazel ones and she saw heat in his stare. Not anger-heat, but, holy hell, lustful fuck-me raw heat. Her tongue wet her lips and the movement drew his gaze. His pupils flared as he moved even closer. A split-second of panic was replaced by desire, and she prayed she wasn’t misreading or imagining the situation. While he wasn’t a forever kind of guy, right now, she didn’t need forever. She needed comfort…the kind of no-holds-barred, balls-to-the-walls comfort which wou
ld make her forget her grief—if only for a little while.
He inched closer still and his voice dropped to a raspy, pain-filled whisper. “Tell me to stop, Harper. Tell me to let you go and not kiss you.”
Her voice was just as low and hoarse from her crying. “I can’t.”
A groan was dragged from his lungs seconds before his mouth came down on hers. The kiss was far from gentle, instead, being hard, demanding, and dominant, and it was just what Harper had hoped for. One of his hands snaked up into her hair, now down from its bun, and held her head in place as he took her breath away. The other hand at her back crept down to the swell of her ass and she wished he would rip her dress off because she never wanted to wear the bleak reminder of her loss again.
* * *
Marco had to be out of his mind, but he couldn’t stop if he tried, especially since Harper made it clear she wouldn’t ask him to. He’d always found her attractive, however, it was something he fought to ignore. Hooking up with your kid sister’s best friend was one of those taboo things, such as hitting on a friend’s current or ex-girlfriend. It only caused trouble for everyone involved. But Nina was gone, and the only other person in this scenario he had to consider was the woman whose arms were wrapped around his neck and was rubbing her delectable body against his. Thankfully, his dress pants gave him plenty of room for his cock, which was now fully erect and throbbing.
Holy hell! He wanted her in the worst way. Wanted her warmth, her comfort, her submissiveness, but most of all, he wanted her to make him forget if only for a little while. The submissiveness was something he could do without occasionally. Vanilla was okay with him, as long as it wasn’t all the time. There was a time and place for everything, and now was the time for comforting each other. Joined by their mutual loss, for a few hours, they could help each other grieve and, hopefully, heal.
Watching From The Shadows: Trident Security Book 5 Page 4