Take a Look At Me Now

by Anita Notaro

  William felt less apprehensive now, for some reason. She looked terrified, he decided. He was curious.

  ‘Mr Hammond, my sister’s death was a huge shock for . . . the family. We were twins, as you’ve probably realized . . . so we were incredibly close.’ She looked away and fidgeted with her pristine white blouse.

  William went round to her side of the desk immediately. ‘I’m very sorry. Your sudden appearance here caused me quite a shock. Please forgive me if I appeared . . . rude in any way.’ She looked like she might burst into tears at any second and he could have kicked himself for his initial frosty reception. ‘Can I get you anything?’ he asked anxiously. ‘A drink of water, perhaps?’

  ‘No, thank you . . . I’m fine.’ She lifted her head and her vulnerability gave William the beginnings of an erection. He moved away slightly and leaned against the edge of his desk, caught off guard for the second time.

  ‘I was very sorry to read about her . . . death.’ He searched her face for a moment, wondering why she’d come. His antennae shot up. ‘All of this must be very hard on the family?’ he ventured, anxious to find out more.

  ‘There’s only me,’ she said quietly. ‘And I’m just beginning to sort out her affairs, so I wanted to introduce myself and let you know that I’ll have to start making plans for the business shortly. I’m afraid I’m no beautician.’ Lily smiled. ‘I’m much less glamorous . . . a cook, actually . . . so I’m looking at the option of turning the salon into a café. And I’m sure you’re wondering what on earth all this has to do with you . . .’

  William felt excited by her. It must be the startling resemblance to Alison, he decided. He gave her one of his most charming smiles. ‘I’m delighted to meet you.’ He saw her questioning look. ‘You gave me quite a shock at the beginning, that’s all, and I’m just sorry our first meeting had to be under these circumstances. Are you certain I can’t get you a coffee?’

  She shook her head. ‘I only came because it wasn’t clear if you had any further appointments scheduled and I’m not sure if Violet can be of any help . . .’

  ‘Violet?’ He wondered what was coming.

  ‘The other beautician in the salon.’ She looked flustered again. ‘I’m not sure you’ve even met her? I’m afraid I didn’t really know anything about Alison’s private clients, in fact I knew very little about her business really.’ She shrugged. ‘I was always too busy having fun, I have to admit.’ She smiled. ‘Or just being lazy.’

  She looked far younger than her sister and William relaxed. It was clear she knew nothing about his relationship with her twin. He was anxious not to frighten her off. On the contrary, he wanted her to think well of him.

  ‘I don’t want to offend you in any way, Miss Ormond, so I hope you’ll understand what I’m about to say next. It’s just that I’d . . . hate to think of you as being vulnerable in any way because of your sister’s death.’ William was comfortable again, playing the role of benefactor. His power was restored. ‘Therefore, I feel I have to ask you if money is an issue for you now?’

  Lily shook her head quickly. ‘Oh Lord, no, that’s not why I came . . .’ She stood up immediately.

  He put his hand on her arm. ‘Please, let me say this. Your sister was a very . . . dear friend to me.’ He saw her slightly questioning look. ‘As well as a . . . business contact, of course. And now, I suppose I feel a certain responsibility towards you, in a way. So,’ he paused, ‘if there’s anything you need, financially or otherwise, I would be only too happy to help.’ He liked playing God; it was what he did all day. And he was surprised how protective this woman made him feel. Alison had never had quite that effect on him. Initially, once he’d realized who she was, William had been convinced that this girl was out to cause him trouble, but now he was equally convinced she was what she said she was.

  ‘I don’t need money . . . honestly.’ Her tone was soft. ‘But thank you, anyway.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Alison left me very well provided for,’ she told him as she reached for her coat. ‘I simply wanted to make sure you knew about what happened and . . .’ She looked a bit lost. ‘. . . And introduce myself, basically. Actually, I hadn’t realized I’d be this nervous. I feel a bit foolish coming here, to tell you the truth.’

  ‘Please don’t.’ He moved closer. ‘I’m very glad you came to see me.’ It wasn’t quite true. ‘I’m so pleased to have met you.’ He held out his hand. ‘In a funny way I feel it’s what she would have wanted.’

  ‘Well, I really don’t want to take up any more of your time. You seem like a very important man, judging by the number of people out there.’ She indicated over her shoulder. ‘I’m sure you’re extremely busy.’

  William nodded, happy to wallow in his own power for a moment.

  ‘Anyway, I’m glad we met face to face.’ She picked up her bag. ‘And you have the salon number if there’s anything we can do for you in the future. For the moment it’s business as usual.’ She seemed to be struggling again. ‘Violet is there all the time, is what I mean.’

  William was very moved by her, and physically excited at what was already happening between them in his head. ‘Thank you.’ He took the hand she offered. ‘And once again I’m very sorry for your loss.’

  Lily extracted her hand gently, just as he realized he was still holding it. ‘It was nice to meet you,’ she said shyly.

  ‘You too.’

  ‘Goodbye.’

  He watched as she strode from the room. She had a different walk, but the same long legs and swinging hair. He thought she was thinner, almost boyish, and that made her seem more childlike. He was definitely aroused by her.

  William moved quickly towards the door then, aware that his secretary might be trying to charge her for a first visit. He shook his head silently in the direction of her office. Adele followed him inside immediately. ‘I’m sorry about that, sir. I’d no idea she’d take so long. She insisted that you knew her family and that her sister was a friend of yours.’ His secretary was rambling on. ‘I thought it was tomorrow she was due in. I should have warned you in advance.’ William saw she was flustered. ‘Shall I bring in—’

  ‘Give me a minute, please. I’ll buzz you.’ He didn’t look up. He knew from her voice that she was annoyed with everyone, him included. And he was already running late, which seemed to upset her much more than it did him. As soon as he heard the door close he relaxed back in his chair.

  What an extraordinary turn-up, he thought, going over it again in his head. It seemed incredible that she didn’t know anything, but then Alison had always been very discreet. It was one of the reasons he’d gotten involved in the first place. William had too much to lose otherwise. As for Lily, she certainly wasn’t the type of woman who’d have had any trouble getting a man. But then neither was Alison. William had to admit he’d been picturing them having sex almost from the moment Lily had identified herself. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she looked younger and fresher than Alison, or perhaps it was just the idea of starting something new, with a complete stranger.

  He knew he had to tread very carefully. Alison had come highly recommended and William had no intention of putting himself in a compromising position. Still, it could be exciting: Lily was a different prospect altogether, he’d bet money on it.

  He jumped up and strode towards the waiting room, feeling vigorous and energetic and important. Suddenly this day felt much less stressful.

  15

  DAVE

  DAVE’S RESOLVE WAS going back and forth like a yo-yo. Despite the fact that he had no idea whether she knew anything about him or not, he simply couldn’t get Lily Ormond out of his mind. He was dying for a good shag anyway, which didn’t help. He kept telling himself it was just that she looked so like her dead sister. Christ, he was even beginning to fantasize about the threesomes they could have had, which was a bit sick given that he had twin girls himself and he’d knife anyone who even looked at them crooked.

  He knew it didn’t make sense, but he
missed Alison. It wasn’t just the sex, although that had been fantastic. It was the whole package, especially the fact that she always made him feel like a stud each time he saw her. And she seemed genuinely interested in his views and, what was more, she really listened.

  He loved going to the flat. Even though he didn’t need to, he took extra care with his appearance, and as soon as he got in the car and headed for Wicklow he felt brilliant. Having Pink Floyd pumping out on the CD player was part of the ritual. Got him in the mood.

  Dave loved his car anyway. It was his one indulgence – well, his one serious one, apart from clothes. Everything else went on Marie and the girls. He begrudged them nothing. Kirstin and Lola – the twins – were nearly nineteen and going to college. Dave was very proud of that. Kirstin was studying journalism and Lola, the really brainy one, was a first-year pharmacy student. They were the only kids for miles around who had stayed in school past second level. But then Dave had made it easy for them, done deals with them even. They got their first independent holiday, all expenses paid, when they passed their junior cert and two spanking new Mini convertibles when they got their points for college.

  They were both lookers, too, and were always bringing home boyfriends with smart cars and even smarter addresses. No worries there: Dave could hold his own with any of them.

  Marie, on the other hand, often felt intimidated. She was always giving guests tea in real china cups and making sure everything on the table was matching; a total giveaway of their working-class roots, Dave felt. That and the fact that she’d refused to move from the council house they’d bought nearly thirty years ago, hence the three extensions – and that didn’t include the double-glazed porch, another of Marie’s attempts to keep up with the Joneses. Never mind that some of the Joneses on this particular road were well known to the Gardai. Marie felt insecure with everybody, even the local drug barons.

  That was one of the reasons he’d been attracted to Alison. She was different to any other woman he knew. Alison had class. And money couldn’t buy that. Dave had watched her over the years and learned a lot. Like how rich people don’t care if the cups are chipped or the cutlery doesn’t match. Not that Alison was rich; he knew she wasn’t. But she came from money and Dave knew you could smell that a mile away. He kept thinking about their nights together. He’d always brought a bottle of champagne. Good stuff, not that Buck’s Fizz shite that Marie thought was posh. And Alison really made an effort from her shiny hair to her polished nails. Also she never seemed to be in a rush, usually suggested a drink afterwards, although mostly he drank and talked and she listened and laughed.

  They’d met by accident. He’d been working on a big project in Rathnew just after she’d opened the salon a few miles away. He used to see her coming and going to the salon when he went into Wicklow town to meet the architect he was working with. One day he followed her as she came out, and admired her voluptuousness as well as her confident stride. As soon as he saw her go into the smart Italian coffee shop he started going there too. She always ordered the same thing, a double espresso and a side order of hot milk. Right from the beginning he’d been attracted to her, even before he heard her voice. It was almost as if she had a sore throat and when she laughed with the guy at the counter Dave thought it sounded deep and dirty. He started making special visits to the salon, usually towards the end of the day when she was more likely to be alone. He guessed she must be the owner, so he called in once or twice and bought gift vouchers he didn’t want, just so they’d get chatting. Eventually he told her he wanted her advice on a Christmas present for a client, and she agreed to have coffee with him.

  Then he asked if the salon ever did treatments for men. She told him they did, so he had manicures and pedicures and facials to beat the band, just to be near her.

  Months after their first meeting he told her about his marriage. Dave remembered it well. It was during his first-ever back massage. He was so horny he had to keep thinking about his wife walking in on them, just so he could turn over on to his back when asked – without her seeing the state he was in.

  When she told him that she sometimes made special appointments in the evening for one or two of her male clients he couldn’t believe his luck. In fact, that first night he called to the flat at the appointed time Dave wasn’t at all sure he was going to get anything other than a back rub.

  Afterwards he was in heaven. The two hours with Alison had been one of the highlights of his life and Dave wasn’t going to stop for love nor money. Sometimes he was scared she’d end it, decide she didn’t need the money or something, so he bought her expensive presents in an attempt to keep her. A couple of months ago he’d spent a fortune on a big leather handbag that he’d seen her gazing at in a magazine. He’d watched the way she’d run her fingers over the glossy advert and he casually asked her about it. She told him all about her handbag fetish and he carefully noted the make and tried to remember the exact model. He wasn’t sure he’d gotten it right until she’d screamed with pleasure when he gave it to her, then told him it was too expensive. He’d laughed and said she was worth it, just like that TV ad kept telling women. And so it had continued right up until a week before her death.

  Eventually, Dave decided he had to do something. He dithered for days and then left a voice message on Alison’s mobile number, the one he knew she reserved for special clients.

  ‘Hi, eh, I don’t know if this is the number for Lily, Alison’s sister, but my name is Dave. I, em, met you at the funeral. I was a . . . friend of Alison’s and I, eh . . . just wondered how you’re doin’ like? I hope things are working out OK for you and if you want you could give me a ring some time.’ He left his mobile number and hung up, red-faced.

  A couple of hours later his phone rang, signalled by one of those top-twenty rappers cursing and generally being obscene. The twins were always changing his ringtones and it drove him bonkers. The incoming number was withheld. Normally he’d let an unknown caller go to voicemail but he was picking up everything today, just in case.

  ‘Dave speakin’.’

  ‘Hello, Dave, this is Lily Ormond, Alison’s sister. I just got your message.’

  Dave couldn’t believe his luck. ‘Oh, hello there, how are you?’ His accent changed as he immediately moved out of the office and headed towards his car for some privacy.

  ‘I’m fine, thanks, Dave, how are you?’

  ‘Great, great. Listen, I hope you didn’t mind me ringing. It’s just that, well, we met at the funeral and I was wondering how you’re gettin’ on, like?’

  ‘I’m coping. It’s been tough, but I have some good friends. And I’m keeping myself busy, which always helps, or so they keep telling me.’ He could hear the tiredness in her voice and he wanted to make it better for her, although he sensed a leather handbag wouldn’t do it.

  ‘Yeah, it’s what they say all right, time heals and all that.’ He was waffling. ‘I suppose you have to start somewhere.’ Dave had no idea what to ask her then and it had been him who’d rung her in the first place. Luckily, she saved him the trouble.

  ‘Dave, I hope you’ll forgive me if I mentioned this already when I met you at the funeral, but how well did you know my sister? How did you two meet?’

  There was a pause and Dave sensed she wasn’t finished so he waited, trying to decide what to say.

  ‘It’s just that I’m still trying to piece everything together,’ Lily continued. ‘Because she worked in Wicklow she had a whole network of friends that I didn’t really know . . .’ Her voice trailed off.

  ‘Well, eh, I met her in the salon, actually. I was working on a big building project locally.’ He rabbited on for ages and she asked him a couple of questions. Eventually, desperate to find out if she knew about him, he added, ‘I used to visit her . . . in the flat . . . sometimes.’

  ‘I see.’ From her voice, it sounded as if she didn’t know what to make of that.

  ‘Yes, well, she often helped me with gift vouchers – presents for client
s, that sort of thing.’ Dave hadn’t a clue what to say next. ‘I was . . . eh . . . very fond of her. Very fond indeed. She was very good to me over the years.’ Christ, it sounded like Lily hadn’t a clue what had been going on.

  ‘Dave, would you like to drop down . . . to the flat, I mean . . . some evening?’

  He couldn’t believe his ears. ‘Do you mean for a visit, like?’

  ‘Yes, perhaps we could have a coffee . . . and a chat?’

  It wasn’t quite what he had in mind but it was a good place to start, find out a bit more about her. ‘Yes, I’d, eh, like that very much actually. When?’ He winced because he sounded so eager.

  ‘Why don’t I call you in a day or two, now that we’ve made contact? Is it OK to use this number?’

  ‘Yes, certainly. If I, eh, can’t talk I’ll call you straight back.’ He hoped he didn’t come across like a lovesick schoolboy.

  ‘Fine. Well, it was nice to speak to you, Dave.’

  ‘Yes, you too, Lily. You too.’

  ‘Goodbye for now. I’ll be in touch.’

  ‘Great, bye for now.’ Dave hung up and rubbed his crotch. Christ, just the thought of her had given him one hell of a hard-on.

  16

  RICHARD

  ‘YOU’RE A LOVELY fella.’ The glamorous granny with the dyed yellow hair and gold hoopy earrings tweaked Richard’s cheek as if he was a podgy nine-year-old.

  ‘Get outta here, Alice, or I’ll have to bar you for sexual harassment.’ Richard opened the door for her. She was one of their regulars.

  ‘Jaysus, that’d give the girls at bingo something to talk about all right.’ Alice manoeuvred her tartan shopping bag on wheels. ‘See you tomorrow, love.’