by Susan Meier
She spent the afternoon trying to put it out of her mind, but the thought that her dad had taken advantage of her crept into her brain every few seconds. On the heels of that she remembered the look of longing in Jericho’s eyes and the way he could nonetheless turn away, and she experienced a pain so sharp it stole her breath. Could it be that she had lost the love of her life because she’d trusted her father?
Rayne had thought she was at the lowest point of her life when she was so broke she couldn’t afford food, but she suddenly realized that recognizing her dad might have used her beat out going hungry as her lowest point. She’d come home depressed from the biggest rejection of her life and the one person she trusted beyond all others had used her. Deliberately. For his own gain. Not caring that his using her might have consequences for her.
At seven o’clock that night she couldn’t take her internal despondency anymore. She rose from her desk at the Chronicle office and walked to her house, where she took her car keys from the holder by the back door and headed out of town. At the Capriotti’s horse farm, she didn’t hesitate. She got out of her car, jogged up the porch steps and knocked on the door.
Elizabeth, Jericho’s mother, answered. “I’m sorry to bother you, Mrs. Capriotti, but is your husband home by any chance?”
Jericho’s mother didn’t instantly answer. She took a few seconds to study Rayne and Rayne stood still under her scrutiny. Finally, she smiled and lightly said, “This isn’t business, isn’t it? Because my husband’s off duty for the day.”
Though her voice was light and cheerful, Elizabeth was clearly protecting her husband. Rayne didn’t blame her. “It’s more personal.”
“Not an interview?”
Rayne shook her head. “No, ma’am.”
“Okay, then, I’ll get him.” She turned and walked back the corridor to the right, disappearing through what appeared to be the last door at the end of the hall. After a minute she stepped out of the room and said, “Come on back, please.”
Rayne took a breath and strode down the hall and into the room, which was an office or den. Ben Capriotti rose from a well-used but obviously expensive, brown leather sofa and Rayne nearly froze. This was another difference between her family and Jericho’s. Her family was poor and his was rich, and she didn’t know how or why she’d forgotten.
Ben pointed at a chair that matched the sofa. “Have a seat.”
“Uh, no. Thanks, though. I just came because I wanted to…” She took a breath. “There’s no easy way to say this. So I’m just going to come right out and apologize for what my dad and I did to you in the last election.”
To her surprise, Ben burst out laughing. “Apologize?” He screwed up his face in exaggerated confusion. “To a Capriotti.”
Rayne took another long breath. “Yes.”
“May I ask why?”
“I know the rumors are around town that my dad owed money.”
“To a loan shark,” Ben supplied. “The other half of that rumor is that he couldn’t pay it back so he agreed to do everything in his power to get Auggie Malloy elected.”
“Yes.”
“But he failed.”
“Yes,” Rayne agreed. Knowing she couldn’t speak for her dad, but wanting to right her part of things, she said, “I’m here because I want you to understand that I think what we did was wrong.”
“Not selling any papers?” Ben asked sarcastically.
“Or ads.” Rayne shook her head. “But that’s not why I’m here. I’ve decided to give up the paper,” she said, only that second realizing it was true. Why would she want to keep it? Her dad had made a mess of their reputation in Calhoun Corners, but he’d also fixed it so that she could walk away. He hadn’t contacted her in weeks. He’d deserted her. And she could have a job in Baltimore or Washington or Chicago with less strain, less stress and a real paycheck. “So I’m not apologizing to make my life easier. I’m just apologizing.”
“And I should accept your apology just like that?”
“I came home from Baltimore crushed because the man I had been living with left me. I wasn’t myself. Had I been, I would have seen that my dad was going too far. I would have pushed him to tell me why, and I wouldn’t have taken any part in the election stuff.”
“Your boyfriend had left you?”
Elizabeth’s question surprised Rayne so much she turned to face her. “Yes. And I know that’s not much of an excuse—”
“Were you together long?”
“Since college.”
“Seven years?”
“Six.”
“And he just left?”
Tired, defeated, Rayne shrugged. “Yes, and I was absolutely devastated.” She faced Ben again. “If I had decided to stay in Calhoun Corners I was going to make the paper nonpartisan again. But there’s no point to me staying—”
“I thought you wanted to keep the paper so your dad would have something to come home to?”
Jericho’s voice came from behind her and Rayne nearly panicked. The Capriottis were formidable as individuals. As a group they were nearly overwhelming.
“I don’t think my dad wants to come home.”
“You don’t know that,” Elizabeth said, sliding her arm around Rayne’s shoulders.
“Okay, what about this, then?” Rayne said, shifting away from Elizabeth. “Maybe I don’t want to be around when he does come home.”
Ben snorted a laugh. “I can understand that.”
“Ben!” Elizabeth turned to Rayne again. “You’re upset and I can see that you feel terrible about the election. But you were only doing your job.”
Rayne laughed slightly. “You’re not making my dad look any better. Besides, even Jericho realized my dad set things up for me to move on. It’s time I accepted that and did it.”
“But your dad is your only family,” Jericho said from his position at the door.
“Yeah,” Rayne agreed, facing him. “And he used me. Worse, I should have been smarter. He made a damned fool out of me and for the past three weeks everybody’s known it but me.”
Ben said, “Now, come on, Rayne. That’s not true,” at the same time that Elizabeth said something equally sympathetic, but Rayne hardly heard them. Coming face-to-face with the truth that her dad had used her was bad enough. Realizing he’d made a fool of her was harder. But the worst was the way he’d made it so she wouldn’t stand a chance with someone like Jericho Capriotti because he had always taunted his dad.
It really was time to move on, but this wasn’t something she needed to discuss with the Capriottis. She was too filled with emotion. If she stayed she’d cry. And she’d already embarrassed herself enough in front of these people.
She pivoted away from Elizabeth and Ben and bolted past Jericho before he could stop her.
Rayne was pulling her car into the driveway of her house before Jericho caught up to her. He jumped out of his pickup and skipped two of the three steps of her porch so he could grab her arm, forcing her to an abrupt halt.
“This is wrong!”
“What? That my dad used me or that I was too damned stupid to see it?”
“That you’re leaving!” He captured her shoulders and heaved in a breath to prevent himself from shaking her silly. “Damn it, Rayne! You can’t take the blame for what your dad did! And if you leave now that’s exactly what you’ll be doing.”
He stopped because Rayne was staring up at him with her pretty blue eyes. He didn’t see the upset he had seen when she looked at him from across his father’s den. He didn’t see the tears that he knew had threatened in the final seconds before she shot out the door. He saw only awareness of their nearness and he didn’t stop to think. He tightened his hold on her shoulders and yanked her to him so he could kiss her.
But after only a few seconds, she pulled back and gazed at him. Her eyes were filled with hope, so much hope that Jericho nearly cursed because, like an insensitive idiot, he’d given her the wrong idea.
But she must have read that i
n his expression, because she stepped away from him and without a second’s hesitation, turned and unlocked her door. She slipped inside her house without offering him the chance to come in, letting him know she understood.
He might like her, but he didn’t want to.
“Everybody’s making too big of a deal out of this.”
Jericho peered up from the stack of papers he was reviewing to see his father standing in his office doorway. “Too big of a deal out of what?”
Ben closed the office door before he said, “This election thing.”
Realizing his dad’s visit was personal, not an official Calhoun Corners matter, Jericho tossed his pencil to his desk blotter and leaned back in his chair. “I’m not sure I follow.”
Taking the seat across from Jericho, Ben said, “I know that Mark Fegan tearing me apart in the papers seemed all wrong. But the truth is that’s politics.”
“You had just had a heart attack—”
“That’s exactly my point! I had had a heart attack. The editor of the paper had the right to question my competency.”
“But he only did it to get himself out of trouble.”
Ben sighed. “Doesn’t matter. I had had a heart attack and the townspeople had a right to wonder if I could still do the job.”
Jericho chuckled. “Being mayor of a little town like this one isn’t much of a job.”
“It’s still a responsibility,” Ben said, shaking his finger at his son. “And the people of this town deserved a good mayor.”
“And they’ve got one.”
Ben took a long breath. “Jericho, you’re missing my point. Everybody’s angry with Rayne Fegan for what her dad did.”
“She helped.”
“She investigated, which is her job. It was the paper’s job to hold me accountable. It was her job to follow her boss’s orders.”
“Okay,” Jericho agreed, though he had no idea what his dad wanted.
“You heard her last night. She wants to leave. If people don’t come back around to supporting the newspaper soon, she will leave. We’ll not only lose our local paper, it will also look like I more or less ran the Fegans out of town.”
Finally seeing that his dad was worried about being accused of something he didn’t do, Jericho nodded. “I get it.”
Ben rose with a sigh and began to pace Jericho’s small office. “I don’t think you do. I’m concerned with the fact that we could lose our newspaper.”
“It’s not much more than gossip.”
“It’s still our connection to each other. Having birth and wedding announcements, a place to put high school football scores and Mary Talerigo’s recipes binds us. Makes us a unit.” Ben faced Jericho. “We need that paper and I don’t want her to go.”
Jericho took a breath. “And what exactly do you want me to do about it?”
“I’m going to go around town this week and chat with the local business people.”
Jericho nodded. “Sounds reasonable.”
“As mayor I can’t encourage them to take ads, but I can point out the town’s loss if she goes and let them draw their own conclusions.”
“Makes perfect sense.” But still didn’t explain what his dad wanted him to do. “What else?”
“If she comes to you for advice, I want you to encourage her to stay.”
That would be the worst thing he could do. He’d already given her the wrong idea twice. Three times would be grossly unfair. “Dad, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. And not because you’re the only person in town she responds to, but because you started befriending her weeks ago. Before anybody realized how serious her problems were. You’re the only person who can make it look like you really like her.”
Running his hand down his face, Jericho said, “No.”
“I’m not asking you as mayor. I’m asking you as your dad. Or maybe just another human being. She’s all alone, Jericho. She needs somebody.”
“That’s the problem. She does need somebody. Somebody who really cares about her.”
Ben shook his head. “And you think you don’t? I was there last night when you ran after her when she left our house. I’m not sure why you came back so soon but if you’re stopping yourself from being her friend because you think I want you to stay away, I don’t.”
When Jericho said nothing, Ben sighed. “I did not mean to hurt her last night. Had I realized how serious this problem was for her, I never would have been cool with her when she came to me. I can apologize for being insensitive last night and tell her I’ll do anything I can to support her, but she needs a friend. You could be her friend.”
When Jericho arrived at the paper offices that night, Rayne silently opened the back door and walked away. Behind her, she heard the soft click when the door closed and enough rustling that she knew he followed her to her front office. She took her seat behind her desk and said nothing as he sat on the chair behind the desk across from hers.
“We need to talk.”
Rayne still said nothing as he slid the rim of his Stetson between his thumbs and forefingers, obviously nervous. She had no idea why he was here, but her heart pounded in anticipation. Nobody had ever been uncontrollably, irresistibly attracted to her the way Jericho seemed to be. When he’d kissed her the night before, she knew it had been because he couldn’t stop himself. She should have been angry that he just ran away the way he did, but something inside her thrilled to the way he lost control with her. It was simple. It was elemental. It spoke of whispered words in the dark or long afternoons with nothing to do but make love.
Still, she wasn’t an idiot. Their situation wasn’t ideal. She was on the wrong side of an entire town and would probably have to close the paper and get a job in the city. If that wasn’t enough, feuding fathers stood in the way of them doing anything about their attraction.
She didn’t know if Jericho had come to remind her of those things, or to tell her he wanted to try to work out their situation, but either way, she felt as if her future was on the line.
Finally he said, “My dad came to see me this morning.”
“Really?” She couldn’t stop the pounding of her heart or control the trembling of her body, but she did manage to make her voice sound solid and strong. If he was here to tell her he couldn’t have anything to do with her because he didn’t want to be involved in her troubles, she wasn’t going to look like a wimp or the sad little girl nobody wanted. He wanted her and if he was too stubborn to do something about it, she wasn’t going to make rejecting her easy on him.
“Did he want to make sure you never talked to me, too?”
“Actually, he wants to make sure that I don’t stop talking to you because of him.”
Everything inside Rayne stilled. If his dad had no problem with their relationship, then that was one stumbling block gone.
“Not only does he think the entire election thing got blown out of proportion, but he thinks Calhoun Corners needs your newspaper and he doesn’t want you to go.”
The paper. Jericho hadn’t come to her tonight to talk about them. He’d come to talk about the paper. Rayne struggled to control the sense of disappointment that squeezed her lungs. She refused to be needy.
“Too late. I sent out résumés today. As soon as somebody hires me, the paper closes.”
“That’s not right.”
“Really? Though my father went about his attacks on your dad in a way that was a tad more personal than professional, as editor of the newspaper he had every reason in the world to question the competency of a man who had just had a heart attack. Yet, the whole town is behaving as if we committed a crime. We didn’t. We did our jobs.”
“That’s what my dad said this morning.”
“I never should have apologized to him last night. I was upset about my dad, the paper, and being dead broke and probably hated by at least fifty percent of the people in my own damned hometown. It was a mistake to let your dad think we thought we were wrong or that I was weak or that he could m
anipulate me simply by refusing to accept my apology.”
“He figured out you had hit your breaking point last night. That’s why he came to me. After the way I chased you, he knows I care about you.”
Her chin lifted. “But not enough to have a relationship. To actually be seen with me in public.”
“That’s the difficult part of this situation. Your troubles with people in town and our feuding dads were a convenient excuse for me to keep stepping back, so I never had to be completely honest with you about why I didn’t want a relationship.”
“I’m sure you’ve got a great reason.”
“My last girlfriend ran off with my best friend.”
Though she felt a twinge of his pain, she pretended indifference. “How clichéd.”
“Then you’ll really love the fact that when they left I went on a drinking, gambling, fighting spree.”
She shrugged. “At least you’re predictable.”
“And for once I like it.”
That stopped her cold and she caught his gaze. “You liked drinking, fighting and gambling?”
“No. I like being predictable.”
He smiled crookedly and Rayne’s heart melted. He was without a doubt the most handsome man she’d ever met, but now that she was getting to know him she realized she liked his personality a lot better than his looks. He was strong enough to deprive himself of things he wanted to assure he had the things he believed in. He was smart enough to know the difference. All her life he had been one inch out of reach, and it appeared that the pattern continued.
“I like being safe. Normal. Trustworthy.”
Continuing to feign indifference, she busied herself with stacking papers on her desk. “And being seen with me would make you unpredictable?”
“Being your friend would be fine.” He caught her gaze. “Becoming lovers wouldn’t.”
Her whole body trembled when he said the word “lovers.” Her pulse scrambled. Her limbs turned to mush.
“I had my experience with settling down with a woman. I had to seduce her into my life and constantly jump through hoops to keep her happy.”