by Craft, Maggi
“Does Lexi know?”
I knew that was coming.
“Mom, please don’t be this way. I’ll tell you, but please don’t tell anyone else.”
“Do you expect me not to get my feelings hurt when you confide in his mother but not your own? She was invited to your wedding—hell, she probably paid for it and planned it. I, your own mother, wasn’t even invited.”
“Mom, it was last minute. I’ve told you that ten times, and I didn’t think you would come. You are so busy, and to be quite honest, I didn’t want Kenedy there.”
“Oh, Arden, grow up,” she said.
That really pissed me off. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. You always think it’s me. It’s not me. Yes, I fell in love with and married her ex-boyfriend—whom she cheated on with my boyfriend at the time. So you’re right. I’m a horrible person. Look, I have to go.”
“Emily Arden Simms, please listen a second.”
“My name is Emily Arden Price, and I’m tired of arguing with you.” I was crying, which also totally pissed me off. “That’s why I choose Lexi over you. Because she’s easier to be around, easier to talk to, easier to trust. I can’t do this anymore, Mom. Good-bye.” I hung up. I felt horrible, but I was twenty-six years over this.
Slayde was standing in the kitchen when I hung up the phone. “Your mom?” he asked.
I nodded, and he hugged me and kissed the top of my head but said nothing. His only reaction to my issues with my mother were to listen and say nothing. He was probably a little surprised by my reaction, as I’m sure my mother was, but I needed my space from her. Not a constant reminder of what kind of mother I might be.
My phone rang again. It was Mom, and I let it go to voice mail. She hung up and called right back. Which made me cry harder. Slayde grabbed my phone.
“Hello … I’m sorry, but she doesn’t want to talk … I will … OK, bye.” He set the phone down and walked away.
“What did she say?” I followed him to our room.
“She said she loves you, she wants you to be happy, and if you ever want to talk to her, please call her.”
“You think I’m wrong, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But?” I asked.
“But nothing, baby. That’s your mom, not mine. I just think it bothers you, and I wish you’d talk to her and straighten your feelings out.”
“Well, I’m not there yet, Slayde.”
“Well, where are you?”
“At the moment, I’m pretty all over the place. Part of me wants to completely shut her out so that she can’t hurt me anymore.” My chest rose and fell with the heavy breath that was my realization that I needed my mom. “Then part of me wishes she could be like your mom and be there for me for all the things a mom is supposed to do when you have a baby.” I shook my head. “But she won’t do that. We know she won’t.”
He lifted my chin, so I had to look him in the eyes. “You never know if you don’t give her a shot,” he said quietly, then kissed the tip of my nose.
“I’ll think about it,” I mumbled.
“Good idea.” He kissed me. “I’ve got to go to work. I’ll see you later.”
Milly called and said she was in LA and wanted to meet for lunch. I was so ready to see her. I hadn’t seen her since I’d started showing, and I knew she was going to freak out.
She beat me to the restaurant, and I saw her sitting at the table, twirling a strand of her curly auburn hair around her finger as she played on her phone. She stood up when she saw me and bounded toward me.
“You are so stinking cute, A,” she screamed. She gave me a big hug and rubbed my belly. “I’ve missed you.”
She looked happier than I’d ever seen her. I was glad of that. I didn’t see her as much as I’d like. Even though I talked to her every few days, I still felt like we missed a lot of each other’s lives now.
“So, how’s Eddie?” I asked as we took our seats.
“He’s great. He’s got a job at a big software company, running their business department. He’s home every night by six, and it’s great.” She looked like a happy lovesick teenager when she talked about him. It filled me with joy.
“I bet. I’m jealous,” I said as I opened my menu.
“So, have you decided on any names?”
“Not really.”
She leaned over and rubbed my belly again, and I noticed a diamond ring on her finger. I grabbed her hand. “What the hell is this, Mills?”
She turned red. “I know, right?”
“It’s beautiful. When did this happen? How could you not tell me?” My feelings were hurt. How could she not tell me this? I should have been her first phone call.
“That’s why I drove to LA. It happened the same day you went to the doctor. I figured that was your day, so I waited.”
“Oh, Mills, no! You should have told me. I’m so happy for you. This is wonderful. How did he do it? Give me every detail.” I leaned across the table, grabbing her hand and checking out her ring.
She told me everything, and I listened as intently as she always did to my stories.
That night, I was exhausted from just being a big whale, so I wanted to take a shower and go to bed early. When I got out of the shower, I heard Slayde on the phone. “Damn, I forgot … I don’t know. I can’t imagine A wanting to do that tonight. She’s tired. I can’t believe I forgot. Taylor’s going to be so disappointed … All right, I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”
He hung up the phone and looked at me.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“Mom. Tonight’s the homecoming game, and Taylor’s on the homecoming court. I forgot all about it.”
“You know Taylor will be expecting you to be there, Slayde.”
“I know, but it’s gonna be crazy. You wanna go?”
“I guess, but it would probably be a good idea to take Dan or Tim or both.” I didn’t think it was a good idea for him to go without taking his bodyguards with him. “You know that the paparazzi will surely be expecting you to be there.”
“You’re probably right,” he groaned.
That was the problem with being a celebrity. You couldn’t just get in the car and do stuff like everyone else. That kind of freedom was something everyone else took for granted.
Dan and Tim were both able to go, and I was glad they did. When we got to the football game, it was crazy. I thought that we were gonna be mauled. A crowd formed around us, and I had to hold on to Slayde’s arm so I didn’t lose him. Finally Slayde told Dan to take me to sit down and he’d be there in a minute. He led me away from the shoving fans.
I found Lexi, who’d saved us a seat. Dan sat behind me. I told him he could leave if he wanted to, but he said he’d stay. I didn’t know if that was because Slayde had told him not to leave me, or if he just wasn’t up to fighting off droves of teenage girls. After a few minutes, he got a phone call and said he had to go help with Slayde anyway.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea,” Lexi said as she pointed at the bottom of the bleachers.
Dan and Tim were trying to get Slayde into the bleachers, but they were having a hard time. I looked down and saw Slayde taking pictures with a group of girls. They were squealing and making such a scene that no one was paying attention to the game, but instead, everyone was pointing at Slayde covered in little girls. Lexi and I both giggled. About five minutes later, he finally got to us.
“You have lipstick on your face, baby,” I said and laughed as I wiped it off.
“Hell, I’m just glad to make it here in one piece.” He looked flustered, which was unusual.
“Did you go see Taylor?” Lexi asked.
“Yeah.” He hugged his mom. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’s here. He’s gone to get us all something to drink,” Lexi replied as Slayde sat next to me, straightening his clothing back the way it should be.
Dan and Tim sat down behind us, and Slayde looked at them and said, “I don�
�t know what I’m gonna do with you two if you can’t handle a bunch of little girls.” We all laughed.
Dan said, “I think guarding the president would be easier than walking you through a crowd of women. It’s crazy.”
I noticed that Slayde still looked bothered by something, and he usually handled things like this better than that. I leaned over to him and whispered, “Are you OK?”
He forced a fake smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
But I didn’t believe him. “You don’t look fine. What’s going on?” I brushed against him with my shoulder.
He turned back to me and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers between mine. “Nothing, baby, I just don’t like having my pregnant wife getting pushed around like that. That’s all.” He smiled a genuine smile at me.
“Are you sure that’s the real reason, and it’s not really that you wish I wasn’t in the way of all those girls?” I teased him.
He rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, “Yeah, that’s it.” I laughed at him, and he seemed to go back to his happy, normal self after that.
After homecoming court, we decided to leave while everyone was distracted by the halftime entertainment. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw Kenedy standing there. I hadn’t seen her since I left Paris. I wanted to turn and walk the other way, but it was too late. She’d seen us.
“Well, look at you,” she said in a catty tone I didn’t appreciate.
“Kenedy, we were just leaving,” Slayde said and walked around her, dragging me behind him.
“Slayde, I think she can speak for herself,” she snapped.
“What do you want, Kenedy?” I asked.
“You’re my sister, and I haven’t seen you in over two years. Don’t you think that’s weird?”
“For our family, no, and this isn’t the time to stop and talk. I’ll see you later.”
“Arden, wait. I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what? Trying to break Slayde and me up, sleeping with Brady, or trying to turn our mother against me? Which one is it? As far as I’m concerned, I only have one sister, and that’s Isabelle. Have a nice life, Kenedy.”
She looked completely shocked by my honest outburst. “Really, Arden? You’re such a bitch.”
I felt Slayde tense up. Dan got between Kenedy and Slayde, and we were able to leave. I was crying by the time we got into the car. “I hate her.”
“She’s not worth the energy, baby. She will never change. Let it go.” He put his arm around me and let me cry.
“That was so embarrassing. How dare she pull that shit in public? Now do you understand why I want nothing to do with those people?”
He squeezed me and kissed my forehead.
When I looked at my phone the next morning, I saw that Mom had called three times before I had woken up. About the time I started moving around, I heard the gate buzz.
“Who’s here?” Slayde asked groggily. The gate had woken him up.
“I don’t know yet.”
Slayde got out of bed and looked at the gate camera. And gave me a look. “It’s your mom.” He pushed the button and let her in.
“Slayde, why did you do that? I don’t want to see her.” I started throwing on clothes. I really didn’t want to deal with her right now. Damn, Slayde!
He grabbed my arm to calm me. “You don’t have to see her. You can stay in our bedroom if you want to, and I will talk to her.”
He let her in the front door, and I went into the kitchen, so I could still hear what they were saying.
“Hey, Susan,” he said. He wasn’t exactly friendly, but Slayde’s like his mom, incapable of being rude. The fact that he called her by her first name said a lot about what he thought of her. Slayde’s family was from the South, and they said ma’am and sir and definitely didn’t call an elder by the first name unless they were invited to.
“Is Arden here, Slayde?” Mom asked.
“Yes, but I’m sorry, she doesn’t want to see you.”
“I really need to see her.” She sounded like she was crying. But that’s impossible. The woman has no emotions.
“Well, I’m sorry, but you will respect her wishes in our house.”
“Please, I’m begging you to go get her.”
“Why? What’s so important that you came here today that hasn’t been important in the last year and a half? You haven’t seen your daughter in a year and a half, Susan. That probably has a lot to do with why she doesn’t want to see you now.” I peeked around the corner and saw Slayde standing there with his arms crossed. I knew he would defend me, no matter what he really thought I should do about the situation.
My mom licked her lips and tucked both sides of her short blond hair behind her ears. Her five-foot-two-inch frame was hunched slightly; she looked very humble at that moment. She was looking up at him with a pleading gaze. I expected her to fight back, but she didn’t. I had never seen anyone stand up to my mom, especially on my behalf. My mom was a damn good attorney, and you were wasting your time to argue with her. Most people gave in to her within minutes, but Slayde wasn’t budging.
“Slayde, I know that you love my daughter, and you are just trying to protect her. I respect that, but I need to talk to her. This nonsense has gone on too long, and I want to put an end to it today. Please!”
I walked out of the kitchen and stood by Slayde. Mom’s eyes welled up when she saw me. She looked me up and down before speaking. “Arden, you look beautiful.” She put her arms around me and hugged me. I wasn’t expecting that. At first I flinched, but after a moment, I somewhat hugged her back. “Thank you for seeing me.”
“You wanna go sit in the living room?” I couldn’t believe I was saying that, and neither could Slayde, I guessed, because he looked at me funny.
She nodded and followed me into the living room. She sat on the couch and motioned for me to sit by her, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I sat across from her in a chair instead. I looked up, and Slayde was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and brows pinched together. He knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t really OK with all of this. Even if it had been my idea.
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked.
We both asked for water, and he disappeared into the kitchen.
“Arden, I know that you and I are very different, and that has a lot to do with why we aren’t close.”
I interrupted her. “No, it doesn’t. We aren’t close because we hardly know each other. You were never around when I was growing up, and I practically raised Kenedy and Gia myself. That was really not fair. I was just a child myself. I shouldn’t have had to cook and clean up after myself. Much less two younger siblings. You were the mother. You were supposed to do that.” I was furious, and tears were stinging my eyes. Mom had started crying again too, which made everything worse.
I didn’t even realize I was raising my voice until Slayde came back into the room with our water. He stood in front of me with his back to her as if she wasn’t there. “Are you OK? You don’t have to do this, baby.”
But I was mad now, and I wanted to let her know how shitty of a parent she was, and how much better off I was because I got out of her house.
“No, I’m fine.” I gave him a look so that he would know I was OK.
“All right, I will be in the kitchen,” he said and looked at me as if to make sure I was OK with that. I nodded my head and looked back at my mother.
“Arden,” she said.
“No, I’m not finished. You came to my house to talk to me, and you are going to listen to me first. You have four daughters. How many times did you ever go buy tampons, Mom? Forget that—you didn’t even explain to us what the hell we would need them for. Thank goodness for sex ed, or I still might not know. Cassie Silverman’s mom had to take me to go by tampons for the first time. What does that say? That I would rather ask the mother of a friend to go buy me tampons before I dared asked my own? It says you sucked. Why should I forget all that because you’re sorry now? That’s just the t
ip of the iceberg. Shopping for school clothes, school supplies, prom dresses—these were all things most mothers did with their kids. But not you. You sent your assistant and your American Express in your place. What about me having to take Kenedy and Gia to the health department for birth control because I was so horrified that I’d end up raising their kids too? You took my childhood from me and didn’t bat an eye. I hope it was all worth it, because I don’t want anything to do with you. And I don’t want these babies to have anything to do with you either.”
I was so hysterical that I didn’t even realize I’d just told her that I was having more than one baby until she said, “Babies?” through the tears.
“Mom, please leave. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Please, let me speak.”
I saw Slayde walk back into the room. He was standing in the doorway, waiting to hear what I was going to say, I guessed.
I motioned for her to speak. “Go ahead—say whatever you came here to say.”
“Arden, there isn’t one thing I can say to you to make any of that different, and I know that. I am truly sorry, but I never meant to be a bad mother. It just turned out that way. I can’t change any of the past, but I don’t want to not have you in my future. Whether you believe me or not, I really do love you. I’m never going to be perfect, but I am trying to get my priorities straight in my life. And I have to start with the most important, and that’s you girls.”
I interrupted her. I was no longer crying. “Why should I believe you? What’s changed?”
She hesitated for a minute and then said, “I’ve been in remission from breast cancer for four months, and I figured out what’s most important. It’s definitely not work.”
I was so stunned that I couldn’t wrap my mind around it enough to make out a clear thought. I just sat there a minute or two before I looked up at her. “Why are you just now telling me this? Why not before now?”
“I didn’t want you to worry about it. It wouldn’t have changed anything,” she said.
“But you wouldn’t have been alone.” As angry as I was with her, I now felt like I’d been punched in the gut.