by Amy Patrick
Over our heads, wind blew the tops of the pine trees, making a soothing shushing sound. The heat from the fire warmed one side of my face and body as the cool night air kissed the other side. The setting, the surrender, the pleasure of Aric’s kisses and his touch were making me wild with desire for him.
Hale, with all his kindness and tenderness, had never made me feel this way. I hadn’t wanted someone like this since… well, Josh. He’d obviously had vast experience, and while he’d been a jerk, he’d been a skillful one. I shivered in spite of the fire and Aric’s warmth. No. I pushed the encroaching panic away. This wasn’t Josh. This was sweet, patient Aric who’d helped me, been open with me, who’d given me no reason to distrust him.
And he clearly wanted me. His touch roamed over my body as if he needed to verify that I was actually there, real and not a fantasy. He slid a hand under the hem of my sweater. The sensation of the skin-to-skin contact made the rest of my body insanely jealous of my waist and stomach.
His touch ventured higher, and I became desperate to feel every part of Aric’s body in contact with every part of mine. As soon as possible. Before the fear could return and ruin this perfect feeling.
“Let’s go inside,” I whispered.
Chapter Fifteen
The Wrong Thing to Say
Aric pulled back and looked at my face, seeming simultaneously excited and wary. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Yes, let’s go—inside, to your room.”
He didn’t argue. He got up and pulled me to my feet, taking my hand and leading me toward his apartment, walking so fast I had difficulty keeping up with the pace of his long legs.
Thor left his spot near the fire pit and trotted after us through the door, then bolted up the staircase past us, nearly knocking me into the stairwell wall.
“Somebody’s ready for bed.” I laughed nervously.
“Yeah. Thor seems pretty anxious, too,” Aric said, looking back at me with a grin and a raised eyebrow. He continued up the stairs and waited for me at the top, flipping on the light switch. “Well, this is it.”
He gestured toward the open kitchen and living room space as I emerged from the staircase. It was tasteful and neat, obviously furnished by Mrs. Deering. I gave the room the barest glance then slipped my heels off and began unbuttoning his shirt.
Aric stood stock still, every muscle tensed, letting me do it. His breathing sounded like he’d climbed fifty floors worth of staircases instead of one.
“Your place is…” His shirt fell open to reveal a densely muscled torso, the powerful body of an athlete. “…very nice,” I finished my sentence, no longer caring about the lovely décor. The beauty in front of me was much more compelling. Unable to keep myself from touching him, I put my palms against his tight abdomen. No texture had ever felt better than his skin, hot and smooth, stretched tautly over the segmented hardness underneath. My hands skimmed up his body to his chest, hard and lightly covered with blond hair.
Aric’s eyes flared with heat, and I swore I heard him growl. He picked me up, sliding his hands under my bottom as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed me deeply and backed into the living room until his legs hit something.
I opened my eyes to see an overstuffed club chair behind him, and then we were falling into it. We ended up with me sitting in his lap, my legs trapped behind his back. We both laughed. He leaned forward, freeing my legs. I unwound them and went up on my knees, straddling him in the cozy chair. I lowered myself against him. Oh yes. Much better. In this position, our faces were even, so for once, he didn’t have to crane his neck down to kiss me. Other things were perfectly aligned as well.
I pushed my fingers through his soft, thick hair and took a moment to just look at him. And, wow. The gorgeous guy I’d been fighting so hard to deny my attraction to was right there in front of my face, holding me, looking at me with an expression that could only be classified as one hundred percent lustful.
Then Aric said the exact word I’d been thinking. “Beautiful.” And he kissed me again, palming my bottom with one hand and pulling me snugly against him. His other hand went exploring. Under my sweater, stroking the skin of my back then sliding around to the front, up over my rib cage. His fingers paused at the band of my bra.
I rocked my hips forward against him, and his kiss deepened, turned more intense. His hand slid up over the satiny cup then both his hands were under my shirt, caressing me, kneading the softness he found there. Excitement blasted through me. I rose up on my knees and pushed myself down against him more tightly, winning a groan from his chest.
Aric moved his mouth to my neck, speaking to me as he dragged hot kisses across the sensitive skin. “God, I love this chair. I am taking this chair with me no matter where I go, even if I have to steal it when I move.”
I couldn’t help but laugh in between gasps. I moved my hands to hold his face between them, speaking with my lips touching his. “What about the bed? Should we make sure you’ll want to steal it, too?”
He went completely rigid, then his arms gripped me hard, almost painfully so. His beautiful face was severe. “Heidi. Are you serious? Are you sure?”
I nodded and he immediately stood up, holding me, carrying me toward a door at the far end of the room near the fireplace. Inside, he set me down and clicked on a small lamp. He didn’t immediately take me back into his arms, just looked down at me with serious eyes.
I didn’t want a lull in the action, didn’t want to give myself time to second-guess this or let any unwanted memories creep in. I grabbed the bottom hem of my sweater, and pulling it up over my head, tossed it aside. Aric stood entirely still, wearing an expression of fervent concentration and desire. Encouraged, I loosened the button on my pants, opened the zipper and let them drop, revealing black panties that matched my bra.
For a moment Aric just stared. His eyes swept over me, and then he blinked as if uncertain this was actually happening.
“Heidi.” His tone was worshipful when he finally spoke. “If you had any idea how much I want you—you’d run.”
And then he had me wrapped up in his arms, moving us toward the large bed positioned diagonally in the room. Falling back onto the mattress, he pulled me on top of him. His strong arms held me tightly against his body. His mouth went to my neck, so readily available to him in this position. Then he covered the top of my chest in kisses and licks and soft bites, working his way down to the edge of the demi-cups.
I locked my elbows, pushing my palms into the bed on either side of his head, straining against him, trying to give him better access to his target. “So, you’re a fan of girl-on-top,” I said, my voice hoarse.
He disengaged his mouth enough to mutter, “I don’t want to crush you. You’re so little.”
“Don’t worry. I’m tougher than I look.” My voice was low and thick, sounding like someone else to my ears. And I was someone else in this moment—a girl swimming in sensation, in the response I had to Aric, unafraid for once of the kind of pain it might lead to.
Aric made another surprisingly erotic growly noise and flipped us, his weight pressing into me. It was a feeling like no other, hard and heavy and perfect. Propping himself on an elbow, he held my face in one hand as he took my mouth with deep, drugging, powerful kisses.
His hand slid to my shoulder, pushing my bra strap down my arm and then gliding lower to unfasten the front clasp. A bullet of heat shot through me, detonating in my center and erasing all my thoughts except for a desperate desire to get rid of the scraps of clothing remaining between us. Now now now.
My sense of urgency was growing, but Aric seemed happy to browse. He drew back and stared down at me. “You are so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re actually here. I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” Between kisses he whispered all the words I wanted to hear from him, the words any girl would want to hear in such a moment. And then—he said exactly the wrong thing. “It’s never been like this before.”
And just like that, my thought
s, my fears came roaring back. All the good feelings drained away, replaced with a transfusion of bile that made me want to be anywhere but here with a guy who had the power to give me so much pleasure… and inflict so much emotional harm.
I stiffened and pressed a palm against Aric’s shoulder, causing him to lift his head in confusion. It’s never been like this before. The exact words Josh had used the first time we’d made love. Or rather the first time we’d had sex, since love had obviously had no part in it for him. What were the odds?
“What’s the matter? You okay?” Aric mumbled like someone emerging from a dream.
“No.” I squirmed to free myself of his weight, and Aric rolled to the side, allowing me to wiggle out from under him.
“What happened? Did I hurt you?”
“Not yet.” I sat up and pulled the listing sides of my bra together, closing the clasp with a snap that sounded like a gunshot in the quiet bedroom. I scooted toward the edge of the bed.
Aric slung an arm around my waist, stopping me. “Heidi, what the—talk to me. What happened?”
I kept my back to him and looked at my lap. “I can’t do this.”
He sat up behind me, pressing his chest along my back. I straightened my spine so our bodies stopped touching.
“Okay,” he said and let go.
I rose from the bed, searching the floor for my pants, my sweater. All the while I could see him in my peripheral vision, staring at me. I got dressed, not looking at him, not speaking. I didn’t know what to say. Sugar, this was bad. Why had I ever come here in the first place? Because I’d wanted him, that’s why. Now all I wanted was to escape. This was so much worse than if we’d never started anything.
I went to the bedroom door and opened it.
“Heidi.”
I stopped, staring ahead at the grain of the wooden door.
“Heidi, look at me.”
I turned slowly to face him.
He still sat on the rumpled bed, shirtless, gorgeous… scowling. “So you’re just going to leave, huh? No explanation. One minute you’re on fire, the next you’re ice cold. Just like in the edit bay. And now you’re going to walk out without a goodbye?”
I stared at him, tempted to run back to those strong, beautiful arms and confess the whole humiliating truth about my past. My icy fingers gripped the door handle, my toes dug into the thick carpet beneath me.
“Good bye.”
I left his room and let myself out the front door. Aric did not follow me.
Chapter Sixteen
Cold Shoulder
Aric was in the newsroom talking to Colleen when I arrived for work Sunday. He looked up as I walked in then dropped his gaze back to her upturned, smiling face. I’d bet if he’d started foreplay with her, she wouldn’t have frozen him out and left him with a grievous case of blue balls and no explanation. No, Colleen didn’t look the least bit conflicted. That was probably very attractive to him right about now.
As I approached, she whipped her head around. “Hey, Heidi. Aric and I were talking about the game yesterday. Exciting night, wasn’t it?”
She had no idea. “Yeah, it was… interesting. How’d it go for you and Dennis?”
“Oh, we had great luck getting interviews with all the players. For some reason, they were lining up to talk to us.” At this she threw a flirtatious see what you’re missing? glance at Aric. Then she turned and picked up her designer purse from her desk. “Well, I’ve got a thrilling Catfish Festival to cover. Have a good day, Heidi—don’t work too hard. And Aric—we’re on for tomorrow? One o’clock at the gym?”
He nodded, and Colleen flounced out of the room, leaving a cloud of perfume and hormones behind. This would’ve been the perfect time for one of those words we were forbidden to use on the job. The one that came to mind started with a “B.”
I went to my desk, trying to pretend my heart wasn’t pounding out of my chest over Colleen’s last remark.
Aric approached me. “How are you?” His voice was soft, cautious-sounding.
“Fine,” I lied. To keep the conversation off of last night, I turned it back to Colleen. “Do you think she saw something at the game?”
“Are you referring to when you kissed me? I doubt it. She and Dennis were all the way across the field… why?”
Because I’m eaten up with jealousy. I shrugged. “The policy. You know.”
He smirked. “Right. I should’ve known that’s what you were worried about.” His tone had hardened.
“Well, what if she did? What if she goes to Janet?”
“Janet wouldn’t care.”
“But Mr. Aubrey…”
Aric turned away, walking back toward his desk as he answered, clearly bored with the conversation. “I wouldn’t worry. She’s not going to tell. Who would do that?”
Okay, so, uncomfortable day ahead. After I left Aric’s place last night I’d decided it was for the best that things had stopped where they had. Yes, there was crazy mutual attraction between us, and we’d given in to it momentarily. But he knew as well as I did—with both of us in this transient business—there was no future for us. It would be stupid to get too attached to each other. And I was already flirting with danger in that department. Knowing myself, if I did sleep with him, I’d have a hard time not getting seriously attached.
I looked over the day’s assignment log—packed for both news and sports. Aric and I still had to work together, so I guessed we’d just pretend last night hadn’t happened. I took a deep breath, put on a pleasant expression, and went back to the sports office. He was watching the sports feed online.
“We should probably get started,” I said. “We’ve got a lot to cover.”
His eyes didn’t leave the monitor in front of him. “Yeah. I don’t really need a photog for my stuff today—I’ve got to run from town to town grabbing video—no standups. If you have a busy day, you might be better off just going it alone.”
“Oh. Okay. Sure, yeah, that’s fine.” He still didn’t look at me. I continued speaking to the side of his face. “Okay, well, have a good day then,” I chirped, the sound as forced as my smile.
He threw a lazy wave over his shoulder. “See ya.”
So, that was it. He’d finally had enough of my running away and my unexplained hot and cold behavior. He and Colleen would start working out regularly, while he and I went back to being just co-workers. And that was good. Good.
Breaking things off with Hale had been hard enough, and I hadn’t even made that officially official, wimp that I was. If I were to let myself really fall for Aric, if I admitted the extent of my feelings to him, to myself, how would I ever deal with losing him when the time inevitably came? Better to just avoid the whole thing and go back to life as usual.
# # #
Worst. Day. Ever. If being pursued by Aric had been nerve-wracking, being ignored by him was excruciating. I’d been basically useless on my shoots, cranky, distracted, picturing the way Colleen had stood so close to him, hanging on his every word, the way he’d looked at her and laughed at some asinine thing she’d said.
And then of course there was the non-stop looping memory reel of last night, the way Aric had touched me, the way he’d tasted. God, why couldn’t I just stop wanting him?
Back in the newsroom later, we stayed in our separate areas, not speaking except to say “excuse me” when we’d both had to go to the printer room at the same time. During the newscast, Aric came out onto the set, we did our happy chit-chat for the viewers before the sports segment and more of it at the end of the show. Fake, fake, fake. At the first notes of the closing music, he simply stood up and walked off the set.
I followed him to the newsroom. “So, any big plans for your days off?” Other than assisting Colleen as she tones her teeny-tiny glutes? I made my voice light, trying to somehow break the unbearable impasse between us.
Aric walked back to his desk, grabbed his bag, and turned right back around, heading for the newsroom door in long strides. “Good night,
Heidi.” And then he was gone.
Okay. So, not interested in small talk. He was obviously angry or hurt or both. He wanted some kind of explanation for my bipolar sexual behavior, and I couldn’t blame him. But what could I do? It wasn’t like I was going to tell him the whole sordid story.
Chapter Seventeen
The Whole Sordid Story
I pulled my car into the Deering’s driveway around eleven-thirty, half-hoping Aric’s truck wouldn’t be there. It was. His windows were dark. The night air was chillier than expected as I crossed the drive on shaking legs and stood in front of his door. I raised my hand to ring the bell and froze. What was I doing? If Aric even answered the door he was likely to ask, “What do you want?”
I wasn’t sure I knew the answer to that.
In a perfect world, you found the right guy, recognized him instantly, fell in love, and he fell in love with you. Happily. Ever. After. But life wasn’t perfect. No guy was perfect, no matter how great he might seem on the surface—I’d learned that lesson thoroughly.
Maybe the best you could hope for was mutual attraction, and Aric and I certainly had that. So much so that I was standing on his doorstep in the middle of the night, ready to bare my soul. If all we ever had was happiness-for-now instead of happily-ever-after, wasn’t that a good thing? It was better than nothing and far more realistic than the fairy tales, anyway.
I pushed the button and waited. The stairwell light came on inside the fan-shaped window at the top of the door. A flash of blond fur zipped past the window, followed by a quick glimpse of long male legs and a blue shirt.
“Heidi.” Aric’s face and tone registered surprise when he opened the door and saw me. He’d changed out of his work clothes into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. His feet were bare. He did not invite me inside but stood looking at me, waiting.