by Leah Fleming
‘So now am I free to visit and speak at meeting houses unhindered by household duties?’
‘All in good time, there’s practical work for all of us to do raising homesteads before winter comes. Everyone will be needed in our new township, Good Hope.’
‘Named after this ship of doom, is that a good omen?’
He ignored my doubts. ‘The ship’s captain says we are doing well and it won’t be long now until we see land.’
Much as I had been longing for the voyage to be over, I was too caught up in his news to be thankful. ‘If I am taken by another family I will be beholden to them for years of service, as well as indebted to the Emsworths until I can repay my dues. How then will I ever be free to make my own life out here as a free woman or to minister to women’s meetings as was agreed?’
‘Be not so hasty. Serve in obedience with good humour and the years will go quickly enough. Happen it will tame thy restless spirit so that in time you make a dutiful wife and mother.’
‘I’ll be an old crone before that happens,’ I snapped. ‘I think I prefer to take my chance and wait to be hired from the ship.’
‘That is not our way and well you know it. Wait upon the Lord in silence. He will direct thy path. Have patience, young woman.’ With that he stormed off, leaving me sulking at his words. They were as welcome as water in a leaking ship.
I spent many hours in the company of these Huguenots, learning how badly they had been treated in their own country and how they had been forced out by the revocation of an Act of Tolerance. Many were bribed back into the old faith, or else banned from holding office, their children forced into baptism, their property forfeited just as had happened to us at Windebank. ‘Why can’t we all live in peace? We do no harm to anyone,’ I complained.
Henri smiled and sighed. ‘It is a tenet of our faith to endure blows and not to deal them out, but given time we’re an anvil that has worn out many a hammer.’
The mood on board was lifting as rumours of land ahead spurred us forward in hope. It could not come too soon since our barrels of pickled herring and oats were long gone. We were down to meagre ship’s rations tasting of foul mouldy peas and hard biscuits. There was no nourishment in those bowls of potage. All the poultry and edible animals were long slaughtered. Hunger was making us all tired and our skin erupted in boils.
Thank goodness our Yorkshire group had heeded William Penn’s advice, making enough sensible provision for us all, keeping most in good health. Now it was sad to see strong men withering, women fainting with hunger. It is my opinion that they should give everyone gold coins to travel in such discomfort, not make the voyagers pay for the privilege. The price has been too high for so many of us.
‘They’ve told us it will be a land of plenty, with rivers full of fish, grapes hanging off the vine, deer and cattle for our table,’ I said, trusting this was true.
Sabine raised her hands in horror. ‘Peut-être . . . Jerome, he writes me outside the city, wild animals living in forests as tall as the sky.’ She was pointing upwards ‘C’est terrible . . . full of savages, a wilderness to be tamed by sweat.’
Henri saw the alarm flit across my face and smiled. ‘You are young and the men are strong. After what we have suffered, there is nothing to fear from hard work. There is a question Sabine and I would like to ask. Now you are no longer indentured within your group perhaps you might consider working alongside us. We will be in need of domestic help and someone to help us in our new premises in the city. We have brought much stock. I only hope it is not ruined in the hold. `
My heart leapt at this unexpected offer. If I went with them I would be free to work out my passage away from the strictures of Jacob’s followers. If they didn’t want me then I could cut loose the ties that bound me. Why shouldn’t I do as I pleased with people I liked. I would be among fabrics, sewing and making clothes.
But suddenly there was excitement spreading through the ship like wildfire. ‘Land ahead, land in view!’ We are saved!’
There was a rush of bodies pushing to clamber on deck so unruly the crew men shoved us all into line. ‘Hours away yet, calm down.’
Sabine and I gazed across the horizon picking out the thin shore line that would change everything. By the mercy of Goodness our ship had found safe passage. The worst was over and the smiles of relief on faces around us told us that we had but another day or two on board.
It was then the cold realisation hit me that Ellinor would not see this promised land. Her body was fathoms deep in the ocean behind us, while an unknown path lay before me with strangers. The joy and relief I first felt at the Boyers’ offer melted into uncertainty.
Ellinor may not have survived but our joint mission still stood. I could not just abandon her vision by going where I pleased. Would she mind me leaving the Yorkshire Friends? In a few days we would be put ashore to fend for ourselves. I could leave knowing Henri and Sabine had a community waiting to receive them close to Philadelphia. There would be a place for me there with kind masters whose beliefs were not that different to my own. Perhaps I could slip away and no one would be any the wiser. The temptation grew but it didn’t sit easy on me.
If I went with them I would be living up to everything that was said of me in the past when I fled Scarperton: wilful, disobedient, unreliable, weak in spirit and, if I left others to pay the rest of my passage, dishonest. But oh, how I longed to say yea, not nay.
It was then I noticed Mary Emsworth approaching slowly, holding Liddy on her hip. ‘Joy, a word please,’ she said softly. I stepped aside from Sabine to let her have her say.
‘It has troubled my soul that I sent you away for no good cause but fear. The example you set in nursing Ellinor has shamed us. Joseph and I are burdened by the thought we caused you great sorrow at a time when you were in dire need of friendship and support. Please accept our apologies and continue with us in our new venture. Sam and George will give me no peace if you’re not with us. It was unthinkable for you to be left alone. It was not what was agreed in London. I fear the lack of good sustenance and weariness has addled my judgement. Are we now of one mind?’ She held out her hand in friendship and I grasped it with relief. Thus was the decision taken from me and the temptation avoided.
Much as my heart would prefer to have the company of Sabine, my duty lay with my own sort wherever they settled so I smiled at Mary. ‘All forgotten, Friend, we must stick together to make Good Hope a fine dwelling place.’
She took my arm and together we took a closer look at the approaching shore.
That night there was much singing and jigging between deck and above. A fiddler played merry tunes, the sailors danced a hornpipe and my feet were tapping at the beat, watching fellow travellers circling round to the music. It was a still and starry night, lanterns flickering in the darkness.
‘Come and join us,’ beckoned Captain Thane. I shook my head, reluctant to refuse but knowing it was not our way. I should be down below sitting in thanksgiving, not standing brazenly watching the excited dancers. How I ached to join them but then I would have a foot in two places and it would be misconstrued. Yet my feet tapped as I was drawn to them despite my wavering resolve.
‘Go and dance with the handsome young soldier. He has his eye on you.’ Henri teased, seeing me watching the soldier. Sabine poked me in the back as if to shove me forward. ‘To dance is good?’
Could she sense from my flushed cheeks that I was tempted to swish my skirts alongside the jolly group? Music has always stirred me.
‘No,’ I replied with a firmness I didn’t feel. ‘It must not be.’ It was then I told Henri I could not go with them when we left the ship. They sighed. ‘Tant pis . . . Pity, I think you would prosper well amongst us. But we respect your duty to your friends.’
Duty, there was that word again. It lay cold as ice on my chest. What was duty without love?
23
How can I describe those first hours of discovery as we sailed up the De La Warr river towards the City of
Brotherly Love! The vessel crept so slowly towards the landing station that we were able to gaze at leisure on the vast forests, the sandy shorelines and coves while hawks soared above us. Suddenly I knew this was the wide river of my dreams at last. Men with painted faces stared back at us from their tiny boats and naked children scampered away at the sight of us waving to them.
‘Savages!’ cried Mary, clutching Liddy to her hip.
‘I have it on good authority that they are peaceful people if treated fairly. William Penn has signed a treaty with them.’
Mary was not convinced. ‘But are we not taking their land?’ she asked.
‘It’s been bought, not stolen. They will keep to their own territories and many are eager to work alongside us, I am told.’ Jacob was trying to reassure us with hearsay.
My eye was taken by a bare-chested girl covered with beads, in a skin skirt fringed at the hem, her black hair braided tightly and decorated with feathers. I waved but she darted back out of sight.
There was so much to see as we slowly edged towards the landing stop of the new city. It was a bustle of ships and cargo hauled by men with black faces and arms. Here we would be lodged with Friends for some nights. First was the weary wait to collect baggage, barrels and what was left of our poultry stock. I kept my hand on the boys for fear of them getting lost among the crowds milling around waving letters and kerchiefs. I saw Sabine enveloped in the arms of her husband. We had promised to keep in touch somehow as we made our sad farewells. I felt I was losing a kindred spirit, regretting my decision to stay with Jacob’s group but accepting I had no real choice in the matter.
We were escorted by Friends down a long street to a small dwelling where we would be housed until Joseph and the group could verify where our settlement was to be located and claim the acres of land that went with it. I would have liked to explore all the new buildings and the shops but my duty was first to the children and my employer. We were all exhausted from the travelling and in no fit state to be seen abroad.
The memory of those first days on dry land is hazy to me now. I recall that the city was most civilised to the eye with streets laid out in a pattern of orderly lines. There were elegant houses with gentle folk walking the pavements in fancy clothes edged with lace and ruffles, with silver-buckled shoes and silken hose. To my relief there were also many plainer citizens with familiar tall hats and sombre clothes.
How wonderful it was to receive fresh fish and fruit, cool beer and clean water and to change our linen at last. I would have liked to jump into the river and swim away the grime of the voyage but it was not allowed.
Soon it was time for this brief respite to end as we were summoned to a meeting to discuss the whereabouts of our new township. Once again it was stressed there must be shelter and land cleared before winter, food conserved and bought in. Each of the purchasing families would have a hundred acres to clear and fence in the fullness of time. But first they must build a house from wood and my duty was to help in any way I could to safeguard the children and the supplies. We were to start a small school. Education of both boys and girls is a necessity in our community.
As we set forth on that first trek into the wilderness our hearts were lifted by the farewells of Friends. There were carts lent for the journey but they were filled with baggage, supplies and the elderly. I walked behind with George and Sam.
As we passed a stockade I caught a brief glimpse of Captain Thane exercising his men. He stopped on seeing me and took off his cocked hat and bowed. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment as the other women noticed this singling out and tutted amongst themselves, giving me looks of disapproval. I would have to explain this at the women’s meeting. What was remiss in acknowledging his kindness to me during the voyage and Ellinor’s last hours? I had done nothing wrong, nor encouraged his attentions to warrant the reproach that would surely come. I bent my head low and turned towards the children, pretending he was nothing to do with me. My discourtesy to him did not sit easy.
As we trudged on Jacob stopped back to chivvy our weary legs into walking another mile along the rutted track that passed for a road.
‘Where do we lodge tonight?’ I asked, hoping it would not be far.
‘Where the Good Lord directs us to shelter among the trees where we can find sticks to make a fire,’ came his answer.
Why did I find his pious comments so irritating, when once I had hung on his every word?
Lately I caught him staring at me as if to question me further, but then he hesitated as if fighting some inner battle and retreated. Even Mary had noticed this and teased me. ‘I think the Lord has charged him to love thee and make thee his helpmeet.’
I laughed away her comments, aware that as one of the few single women not spoken for, I would be subject to this sort of scrutiny until I was safely betrothed to one among the community. I will freely admit I gave none of the single servants a second glance. I was here to fulfil my mission to teach children. I had no thought of marriage with Jacob. He was a little too fond of his own opinions for my liking.
There was nothing holy about that first night under the stars, sheltering in a makeshift tent of twigs and blankets, huddled under cloaks nipped by ants, the strange forest noises calling in the dark with only a fire to guard us.
We kept the big river to the right of us as we headed upstream through a vast wilderness of shrubs and trees. Our meals were little more than bread and cheese, cool water and sips of milk from one of the surviving goats. There were three such nights before we reached a bend in the river with a marker on a tree that Jacob insisted was the beginning of our township. ‘Look around at the supply of timber, fresh water, fish, deer and forest fruits. Everything is at hand for our convenience.’
I looked around with dismay at the unclaimed land that must be hacked from the forest. This is what we had crossed an ocean for, this piece of God’s earth that must be forever home.
‘Let’s just wait on the Lord in silence,’ Jacob added, seeing the weary faces of the group stunned by the tasks ahead. ‘Here we can build a new Jerusalem, a fortress of holiness and fruitfulness.’
No one spoke, too overawed to offer an opinion as we bowed our heads and tried to hide our fear. How would we build a proper town from a forest of thick oak and scrub? How could we keep our children safe?
On that first night Mary wept tears of despair. ‘I thought there would be houses ready for us,’ she sighed, ‘or at least some decent shelter.’
‘Now lass, none of that,’ Joseph encouraged her flagging spirits. ‘Take heed of Jacob’s words. We have everything we need around us. Tonight will be but a makeshift tent but tomorrow we’ll chop down enough wood for a frame. Amos the carpenter will guide us all.’
Morning broke to the sound of axes and crashing trees; stumps were gouged out of the ground and all the kindling stored to be dried in the sun. My hands were soon blistered, my body sweltered in the heat but every able body must lend their weight to make the first clearing. We reread William Penn’s Treatise for guidance again: ‘Four hands in four months’ time may easily clear five and twenty Acres for the plow.’
His instructions were so precise that there was no excuse not to follow them but for the heat and the weariness. Some were still weak from the voyage and splitting staves of wood for planking was beyond their strength. But I look back on those first days with a warm glow. We battled together against the terrain as one. It was only later that things turned to bitterness and we battled each other; but I digress.
Within days there was a temporary dwelling erected for the old folk and the younger women and children to rest in shade even if it felt as if we were back between decks on ship again cloistered together in harmony. Many of the men slept in foxholes. The tent served as our meeting house. As I looked around I wondered how many of us would survive the coming winter. This was no place for the feeble and old bones.
Within weeks Joseph and his friends secured a fence around his patch and cleared the earth enough for us to p
lant turnips and roots. We were also encouraged to plant Indian corn as we would barley and oats in the old country. We were lucky enough to arrive in the warm season but were plagued by biting insects that caused great weals on arms and legs that itched to high heaven. Gideon Smith, the apothecary, made salves of herbs and grease to soothe the worst sores.
Each family was responsible for their own acres but if help was needed they would leave their own work to guide and advise another. Jacob turned his hands to anything required. I had to admire his stamina and determination that Good Hope would be ready to face the onslaught of winter. This meant Amos and another Yorkshire craftsman, Caleb Gibbons, building a boat to take people downstream to Philadelphia to purchase hay, seed and whatever was needed to complete the building work before the river froze over, as we were warned it would.
My task was to help wash and dry all the soiled linens and clothing at the river’s edge with a cake of lye soap and a good rock to thrash them against. It was good to scrub away all the stench of the voyage but the very smell reminded me of Ellinor’s terrible dying hours. How her weaving skills would be missed but more than that, her absence left a great gap in my spiritual life. Who would sustain my faltering faith and purpose?
I found my mind wandering on First Day as we sat in silence, wondering if the patches on my clothing could be mended and stockings darned neatly enough not to show too much. At least the company assembled on the benches didn’t reek of stale body odour but of linen and wool dried in the fresh air. I thought about Sabine and her fine lacework collar, the cut of her garment and the life she would now be living close to the city. She too would be mourning the loss of her son. Perhaps I might be allowed to take a journey to visit her one day. Then Captain Thane’s handsome smile flashed into my mind and I felt my cheeks flushing at the thought of him wanting to dance with me. What was wrong with dancing and singing? There was not a spiritual thought in my head and I was glad no one could read all this muddle.