“We have something special, Molly!” Julian exclaimed. “I know you are the right woman for me, and I'm not letting go of you until you realize I am the right man for you!”
“But--”
“No!” Julian bellowed. He could not let her finish her thought, because he knew her words would obliterate his heart. “You made me a better man, Molly. Love is about finding someone who makes you the best possible version of yourself, and that is exactly what you have done for me. You have made me more passionate... you brought back my warmth. You make me happy, and I'm not willing to give up on you that easily.”
Molly opened her mouth to respond, but he laid a finger over her lips. He still had his arms around her, holding her in place. There was no escaping Julian Crawford's arms—he wouldn't allow it.
“I need you,” Julian continued. “Tell me you care about me, as I care for you. Change your mind. Tell me I am the one you want, or my heart might never recover.”
“Julian...” Molly had been trying to fight her tears, but it was impossible to ward them off. When a few of them slipped down her cheeks, Julian tried to kiss them away. The feeling of his lips on her cheek was almost as titillating as her first kiss with Daniel. “I can't. I care about you, Julian, but I can't...”
“You won't change your mind?”
“I cannot change my mind,” she reiterated. “I'm sorry.”
Julian's arms slipped from her waist as he finally released her. He took a few steps backward, hanging his head in shame. “And now I feel like a fool.”
“Please...” she whimpered, “please, don't...”
“I would have clung to you forever, if I thought I had a chance,” he sighed. “But you are resolute... and I see how hopeless I am. Now I should excuse myself.”
“Will I ever see you again?” Molly repeated the question, because she was so afraid he would be gone from her life forever, and she could not bear the thought.
“I am sure we will cross paths again, if fate will allow it. Now...” He squared his shoulders and took a deep breath, attempting to restore what was left of his destroyed dignity. “I wish you all the happiness in the world, Miss Moseley. No one deserves happiness more than you. Farewell.”
He slipped through the door before she could utter another word.
As soon as he was gone, she collapsed on the settee and expelled a tremendous sob.
Chapter Seventeen
“Married?!” Agatha shrieked. As she trundled along the garden path, her cane wobbled in her liver-spotted hand. “You're getting married?!”
Molly and Daniel walked behind the older woman, letting her set the speed. Her fiance was beaming at her as they sauntered forward, arm-in-arm. “Yes, Gran. That is precisely what I said!”
“Married...” As she repeated the word a third time, Agatha shook her head with disbelief. “I never thought you would get married, girl... what with you being a spinster and all that. And to Lord Rocksavage, no less! After all this time, why now?!”
Lord Rocksavage responded, “It took me too long to recognize my true feelings. When I was forced to consider a life without Molly, it felt as if my heart was being ripped from my chest. Had she married anyone else, I would have lost her forever.”
“Which is precisely how I felt about you and Miss Crawford,” Molly added. “I couldn't stand the thought of you with her.”
“Why, then, did you arrange a match for me?! I know you are a brilliant matchmaker, but if you wanted me for yourself--”
“You asked me to!” Molly interrupted. “You asked me to find a perfect wife, and that is precisely what I did!”
“You will be my perfect wife!” Daniel exclaimed. “You, and only you.”
Agatha erupted with a sonorous yawn and made no attempt to disguise it. The young couple's banter had put her in a state of drowsiness. “Molly?”
“Yes, Gran?”
“I am happy for you and all that, but...what am I supposed to do when you're gone? You have been such a wonderful companion all these years. I need you with me, dear!”
“Oh, Gran...” Molly felt an inevitable twinge of guilt in her chest. “I will visit you as often as I can! Lord Rocksavage doesn't live so far away that I cannot see you every day!”
“I suppose I will have to find another companion.” As soon as a bench was in sight, Agatha's walking speed increased. She quickly toddled to the nearest bench and collapsed into the seat. When Daniel and Molly sat in the bench across from her, Daniel had to resist the temptation to hold Molly's hand.
Tilting his head toward her ear, he whispered, “I love you.”
“Mm.” The only response Molly could manage was a grunt. It felt awkward to confess her love when they were sitting across from her grandmother, whose beady brown eyes were focused on Molly's face. Not to mention, she was starting to doubt her love for Daniel. If she responded with a tepid I love you, she would have felt like she was betraying her heart. As long as her doubts persisted, she decided to restrain her professions of love. Daniel deserved no less than her whole heart.
“I wish I could hold you in my arms,” Daniel whispered.
“But Daniel...” Molly crossed her arms over her chest. “Not while Agatha is here!”
“Look.” Daniel directed her attention to the old woman. Agatha's head was tilting to one side, her eyes were closed, and her mouth was gaping. The slow rise and fall of her chest was yet another sign of her slumber.
“Goodness, that was fast!” Molly gasped. “Is she already asleep?”
“So it would appear.”
“The walk in the garden was a bit much for her. I should have known she would not be up to it. Lately, I am so worried about her health. After I marry you, after I am gone... what if her health declines because of my absence? I would feel so terrible!”
“It wouldn't be your fault, Molly. Besides, she has her servants to look after her. She's not your responsibility.” Daniel reached toward Molly and cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand. “Agatha is an old woman. If she dies, at least she will have lived a long, full life.”
“Daniel!” Without thinking, Molly swatted his chest. “What a horrible thing to say!”
“It isn't horrible! Molly...” Without warning, Daniel coiled his arms around Molly's waist and dragged her onto his lap. He tightened his grip, ensuring she could not flee.
“Daniel!” she hissed. “Daniel, what are you doing?”
“Holding you,” he said, grinning. “On my lap.”
“I can see that... but Agatha is right there! What if she woke up and saw us like this?” As if on cue, Agatha stirred, snorted, and turned her head. Molly tried to free herself, but there was no escaping Daniel's arms. “Daniel!”
“I love you,” Daniel repeated, choosing to ignore her protests. “And I love your adorable nose.”
“My nose?!” She gently tapped the tip of her beloved nose. “Surely my nose is not the only thing you love?”
“Of course not. I simply felt like giving your adorable nose a well-deserved bit of praise,” Daniel said. “I cannot wait to marry you, Molly. We should wed as soon as possible, don't you think?”
“I can't believe Agatha fell asleep,” Molly said, shaking her head with disbelief.
“Molly! Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes.” Molly wished she could give him the answer he desired, but she wasn't ready to marry him. Not yet. How could she marry him when a part of her heart belonged to another man?
Perhaps even the larger part of her heart.
“When should we get married?”
“I'm... not sure.” When she felt his lips on her neck, she squinted her eyes as tightly as she could. For some odd reason, affection from Daniel wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
“Being with you, having you in my arms... it feels so perfect,” Daniel said. “This should have happened years ago!”
“It should have,” Molly agreed. She wished it would have happened before she met Julian Crawford. Her conflicted thought
s were driving her to madness.
“I will protect you, Molly Moseley. Always. Forever.”
“I am sure I would always feel safe with you,” Molly said. “Now, will you kindly release me? I should get Agatha back to her bed.”
“So soon?” Daniel pouted. “I would prefer to hold you all day, but if you insist...”
“I do insist!” As soon as his arms slipped from her waist, Molly leapt from the bench and hurried to her grandmother's side. “Gran? Gran! Wake up!”
“Mmmfmfmfmm... hmm?” Agatha opened her eyes and scowled at her granddaughter. The distasteful expression intensified the deep wrinkles on her forehead. She looked puzzled for a moment, as if she did not recognize her surroundings. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Yes, Gran, you did.” Molly took her grandmother's arm and helped her from the bench. “We should get you back to your room.”
“Very well.” Another loud yawn stretched the old woman's mouth. “Is Lord Rocksavage still here?”
Daniel rose from the bench and bowed. “I'm right here, ma'am.”
“Well, tell him to leave. He's ruining my peace.”
Molly flashed an apologetic glance at Daniel before escorting her grandmother to the house. As soon as they were alone, her grandmother said. “I preferred that other man you were with. The one from the musicale.”
Molly's eyes widened. She could always count on her grandmother's brutal honesty. “Mr. Crawford?”
“Yes. Crellfid.” Even though she mispronounced his name, the thought of him made her smile. “He seemed like a good man, and he wasn't boring like Lord Rocksavage.”
“You think Lord Rocksavage is boring?!” Molly gasped. Her grandmother could be harsh, but she did not expect her to criticize her fiance.
“Mm. Yes. He bores me,” Agatha unabashedly admitted. “That other one, Mr. Crellfid... he had personality! And he did not make you wait a hundred years before confessing his feelings for you!”
“What makes you think Mr. Crawford had feelings for me?”
“It was obvious, wasn't it?”
When they reached her grandmother's bedchamber, Molly pushed open the door and guided Agatha to her bed. She draped a blanket over the old woman's body and gave her a gentle pat on the head. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Gran?”
“Well, you can stop treating me like a baby!” Agatha stuck out her tongue. “I am old as the hills, but I'm not a baby!”
As soon as her grandmother was tucked in, Molly rose from the bed and went to the door. Her grandmother was in a sour mood, even more so than usual. When Agatha was in such a mood, it was best not to linger. “I should leave you to your rest.”
“Indeed you should. Do not let me sleep too long, however, for I might not be able to sleep at night. Have the maid bring some tea in a few hours' time. That should perk me up.”
“Certainly, Gran. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight?!” Agatha squawked. “Did you hear what I said, or do you have cobwebs in your ears?! It isn't nighttime!”
Molly slipped into the hall and closed the door before her grandmother could rail at her any longer. She wanted to check on Daniel, to see if he was waiting for her, but a maid accosted her before she made it to the garden.
“Pardon me, ma'am, but there was something I needed to tell you.”
The mousy maid, who was at least a head shorter than Molly, seemed reluctant to deliver the news. “What is it, Em?”
“When you were in the garden, a gentleman came to see you.”
Molly could feel her heart clenching. “Was it Mr. Crawford?”
The maid answered with a shy nod. “I led him to the drawing room and went to fetch you, but when I saw you, you were escorting the mistress to her room, and I didn't want to interrupt. However, when I returned to the drawing room, the gentleman was gone.”
Molly could feel her spirits deflating. It had been two days since she had seen Julian. During those two days, she had been worried she would never see him again. If he came for a visit, why would he leave without a word? Was it jealousy? “Do you think he might have seen me with Lord Rocksavage?” Molly closed her eyes and tried to visualize the vantage point from the drawing room window, which overlooked the garden. What if Julian saw her sitting on Daniel's lap? What a horrifying thought!
“I am not sure.”
“Do you happen to know if Lord Rocksavage is still waiting for me in the garden?”
“Umm...” The maid's cheeks were flushed. She hated to be the one to tell her mistress she had been abandoned by both of the men in her life. “Actually, I saw him get into a carriage just a bit ago, ma'am.”
“I... see. I suppose I cannot blame him, since Gran did tell him to leave. Thank you for telling me, Em. Now I think I might lie down for a bit. ”
Molly turned around and headed toward her bedchamber. As soon as she stepped into the room, her slipper brushed against a folded piece of parchment. Puzzled, Molly bent down and scooped the paper from the floor. When she unfolded the note, her heart skipped a beat.
Dear Madeline,
She had written those words more times than she could count, however, they were not written by her hand. It was a messy scrawl, the likes of which could have only been scribbled by a gentleman's hand. Only one other soul knew about her letters to Madeline.
Which could only mean one thing...
You have never met me before, but I hope you will take a moment to listen to the troubles of a stranger. I am not entirely a stranger, however, because we are linked by a common acquaintance. I needed to talk to you about your sister, Molly Moseley. I am too proud to tell her how I feel, and I am afraid she would not care to hear it. I do not want to burden her with the knowledge of my feelings because I would never want to do anything to impede her happiness. If she is happy with Lord Rocksavage, so be it. I would not want to get in the way of that.
However, I cannot rest until I tell someone the extent of my feelings for her. I am in love with your sister. I loved her from the moment I saw her, with her chestnut hair, and amber eyes shining behind her adorable spectacles. I am sure she did not think much of me, however, seeing as I am not adept at making good first impressions. It is easy to assume I am bored and passionless... well, perhaps I WAS bored and passionless before I met her. She awakened something in me that I thought was dead. She stirred emotions I thought I was incapable of feeling. Your sister was the first woman who made me want to be a better man, because I wanted to be worthy of her. As wonderful as she is, I am inclined to believe NO man is worthy of her. However, if she is in love with Lord Rocksavage, I will stand aside and be grateful for the time I spent with her. With any luck, she will want me in her life. To have her as a friend would be better than nothing.
If she marries Lord Rocksavage, I am sure it is for the best. After all, I do not feel worthy of her affection. I am too old for her, for one, and I am hardly a handsome man. Rocksavage is everything I am not, and Molly deserves nothing but the best. I am sure my lack of confidence makes me sound pitiful. My lack of confidence might also be the reason I have remained a bachelor all these years. I have never been loved, nor do I feel it would be possible for anyone to love me. Perhaps I am not a likeable man?
It is very kind of you to listen to the ramblings of a hopeless man. I wish I could have met you, Madeline... if you were a friend of Molly's, you must have been a fascinating woman. I am sure you watch over your sister, but if ever you cannot, please know that I will keep an eye on her as well. Her happiness means the world to me. As long as there is a smile on her face, I will be content.
Sincerely,
Julian Crawford
Chapter Eighteen
After donning her half-boots and spencer, Molly headed off for the great unknown. She had never been to the Crawfords' estate. Until now, she never had a reason to make the voyage, but she needed to see him. As her mind raced with possibilities, her foolish heart pounded beneath her chest.
Molly dismounted her horse in front of th
e impressive sandstone edifice, which appeared to be a medieval manor house, although there was evidence of the Tudor period as well. Several tall chimneys exploded from the rooftop. One side of the building was consumed by Gothic flying buttresses, which put her in mind of a cathedral. It was a handsome estate, more than worthy of her awe.
“Julian is in there...” Molly whispered to herself.
Only he wasn't.
Upon entering the foyer, the butler led Molly to a sitting room. Several minutes later, the door opened, and she was greeted by none other than Iris Crawford, whose pretty brow furrowed as soon as she set eyes on Molly's face.
“Miss Moseley.” Iris kept her nose in the air as she floated into the room.
“Miss Crawford!” Molly exclaimed. “It is good to see you. I was wondering if--”
“Ahem.” Iris haughtily interrupted. “Let's not pretend pleasantries, Miss Moseley. You are not fooling me.”
Iris' cold reception made Molly's eyes swell. She had not taken a moment to consider that Iris' feelings toward her might have changed. Lord Rocksavage, Molly thought. Of course.
“You are angry with me, I take it?”
“I wouldn't say I am angry. Heartbroken. Disappointed. Melancholy. Bitter. Blue-deviled. Grief-stricken. Crushed.” As she described her pain, Miss Crawford laid a hand over her heart. “Until a few days ago, I had reason to believe Lord Rocksavage cared for me. And then you came along and stole him from me!”
“I didn't exactly steal him, Miss Crawford,” Molly defended herself. “I have known him for most of my life.”
“Nevertheless, he was my beau. He was my suitor!” Iris' voice was placid, despite the fact that she was chastising the other woman. “You introduced him to me, and then you took him away. That was quite cruel of you!”
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