Smoke and Mirrors: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel

by Kristine Allen

  Styx might’ve been able to educate us, but he was sleeping for his last night shift that night.

  When one of the nurses rushed out of the room, I snagged her. “Ma’am, I’m his brother. Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

  “I’ll have the doctor talk to you, I’ll be back.” She ran down the hall, through a door, then back with a handful of supplies, pushing past us without pausing.

  A man that looked like he might be a doctor hurried down the hall and into the room, and still we had no answers. Tension was heavy in the air. None of us spoke.

  Things seemed to calm down in the room, but I had a bad feeling from their movements. When someone said, “Call it,” my heart dropped. I couldn’t have heard correctly.

  Finally, one of the men I assumed was a doctor came out. The look on his face had me shaking my head in denial.

  “No,” I warned the guy as I pointed a finger at him.

  “I’m so sorry. As you know, your brother came in with significant injuries—”

  I stopped him there. “Yes, but the doctor that night said he was lucky. That it would take some time but there was a possibility he’d make a full recovery.” Chest heaving, fists trembling, I was fighting my body’s inclination to explode.

  “And he was. Injuries like he’d sustained would’ve killed most people. He was lucky to be alive. Things have been touch and go, as you know. Unfortunately, he succumbed to a series of things that were out of our control. He went into cardiac arrest, among other things. One of which we might have been able to deal with, but all of it at once?” He looked helpless. While I understood it must be a shitty thing to have to tell people, it didn’t still my shock and anger that vibrated under my skin.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Truth yelled as he lunged forward. “He was in a fucking hospital! Why couldn’t you get him in to surgery? Why couldn’t you do something? That’s your motherfucking job! You were all right. Here!”

  Lock and Straight had to hold him back. Shock and denial raged on Truth’s face as Slice stepped in to help. Still, he thrashed against their restraint.

  “Again, I’m so sorry. I—” The doc appeared to choke up, and his brow creased. Unable to offer us further consolation, he walked off down the hall with his hand in his hair.

  The rest of the staff slowly filed out of the room. Defeat heavy on their faces, most wouldn’t meet our eyes. Those that did, held pity. Another doctor stopped in front of me. “You’re his brother?”

  “We all are,” I said around the lump in my throat.

  “You can take some time to say goodbye. We’ll wait for your parents to arrive before we move him.” His eyes nervously shot around to the tense group of bikers surrounding him.

  “Let him through,” I grumbled to my boys. They parted, allowing him to pass.

  For a few difficult moments, we simply stood there. None of us wanted to go in because it meant that what had just transpired was real and not some horrible dream.

  Knowing they were looking to me for guidance, I took my first hesitant step into the room.

  As I drew closer to the bed, my vision blurred. I could hear Truth in the hall angrily sobbing, and it didn’t make things easier for me.

  They had tucked the sheet around him as if he was sleeping. Check lay unnaturally still in the middle of all the white, looking pale, his lips already taking on a blueish tinge.

  “Fuck,” I heaved out on a silent sob of my own.

  He wasn’t the first dead body I’d seen, but that didn’t make it any easier. He was my brother. My family. And someone had taken his life before he’d even had a chance to really live it.

  One by one, my brothers surrounded the bed. Straight, Lock, Slice, Truth, Radar, Gunny, and even Clay. None of us knew what to say. Truth kept shaking his head.

  The pounding of feet down the hall preceded Styx bursting into the room. Skidding to a stop at the foot of the bed, his eyes were wide and crazed. He and Check had been really close.

  “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?” he shouted. He was disheveled and mismatched, and I knew one of the brothers must have woken him up to tell him what was going on. He’d obviously raced there.

  “I don’t know, man” was all I could say. Even that had me choking up.

  Check’s distraught parents came flying into the room. After consoling them as best as I could, I had to step out.

  This wasn’t how things were supposed to end.

  The next several days were surreal. Damn near every member of the Demented Sons Nation was in central Texas for his memorial and funeral. They’d come from all over the country.

  Nova had tried to call me and had texted me a few times. I assumed Mattie had filled her in on what was going on. Mattie had called her when she’d been released from the hospital, too. Though neither of them said so, I knew they’d been talking a lot. I’d wanted to reach out to Nova, but everything was so crazy, I hadn’t replied to her other than to say thank you for her offer to help with Mattie.

  The day before the memorial, we had a presidents’ meeting. It was held at the clubhouse, and the room was damn near filled to capacity with all of us.

  “Thank you all for coming. It was unexpected and with the short notice you had, well, it means a lot that you’re all here.” My voice was a growl as I fought my emotions.

  “Anything you need to find the fuckers that did this, you got it. If it’s in our power, it’s not too much, brother.” Snow sat at the head of the table and, as our new National President, was the first to speak after the meeting was called to order.

  A murmur of agreement came from every man in the room.

  “When you find out who did this, you let me know. It will be handled and nothing will touch you or your chapter. The Demented Sons will remain unconnected. You understand?” Morte, the president of our chapter down in the Valley, growled. Dude had some really scary connections. While I normally would keep that part of the life away from my chapter, in this case, all bets were off.

  My chin raised in understanding. “Appreciated.”

  “We have some people looking into this for you too,” Morte added. I nodded.

  “We already started a fund for his family. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for them. To have lost their daughter as a baby, and now Check? Fuck. How are they?” Sledge, the president of the San Antonio chapter and Joker’s uncle, asked.

  “They’re a fucking mess. His little brother is the last one left. He’s having a really hard time. Worse than his mother and father. We’re going to have to step up and keep an eye on him.” Check’s mom had confided her worries about her youngest son, and I’d promised to help her as best we could.

  “Any leads with the cops?” Diablo asked with a bit of a sneer. He had multiple run-ins with law enforcement down in Louisiana because of profiling. His faith in them doing anything was slim to none. Not much more than mine.

  “No. Conveniently, there were no witnesses and the cameras from the store catch just the edge of where he was parked. We’ve got nothing.” Everything about this burned my ass.

  “What about from the other clubs? Any word on the street?” Casper, the president of the Denver chapter, asked quietly. His bleach blond hair fell over his eyes as he leaned forward.

  “Nothing. At least nothing anyone is saying. Big brother offered their services, but I respectfully declined. I don’t want to owe them anything,” I said.

  “Agreed.” Snow nodded. Though we outnumbered them in total numbers, there was still a respectful chain of command. They may have fewer members than us in Texas, but they had their hands in so much it was insane. Things I didn’t want to get tied up in and was happy to let them quietly control.

  We hashed out a few things that had come up since Nationals, then we dispersed to let them get some rest. Most of them had come straight there upon their arrival. We were housing a lot of them on our chapter property and at our homes, but the rest were staying in hotels or at campgrounds.
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br />   After the memorial for the family, we were having a celebration of life. It would be held on our chapter’s property behind the clubhouse, where it was looking like a tent city.

  After everyone left, Snow and I met up with our chapters where they were all sitting around talking.

  “Snow, you and Reaper can stay at my place. I have plenty of room since Mattie is staying with a friend,” I offered. Reaper had been voted in as the VP after Vinny had moved back to New Jersey to be near his ailing mother.

  “Appreciate it, brother,” Snow said.

  “Cammie didn’t come with you?” I questioned.

  He scowled and shook his head. Obviously there was more going on than I knew, but I kept quiet. He’d tell me if he wanted to.

  “Joker, Hacker, and Hollywood are staying at my place,” Styx chimed in, and they all nodded. Fucker had a huge house so he could take several of them and their ol’ ladies.

  “Me, Mama, and Soap are staying at Lock and Raiven’s,” said Pops. Though he’d retired from the club, he was still part of the family. Especially with Raiven being his niece. “Well, Mama and I will be in the RV, but Soap will be in the house.”

  “Cool.” I sighed.

  “I got the rest,” said Gunny. He’d been working out on the offshore oil rigs and had returned the day Check died. He was supposed to be working at the shop with Lock when he made the jump, but then up and hauled ass to an oil rig without any real explanation to anyone. I’d tried to talk to him to make sure everything was okay, but he assured me it was only temporary until he saved up some cash.

  Digging my spare key from my pocket, I handed it to Snow and gave him the code to the system. “I’ll see y’all later. Make yourselves at home. There are clean sheets on Mattie’s bed.”

  “Thanks, bro. We’ll see you tonight.” Snow enveloped me in a rough embrace.

  “No, thank you. You being here means a lot to all of us.”

  Everyone broke up and went off to their prospective homes away from home. Gunny sat beside me at the bar.

  “What the fuck, man? This is some shit,” he said as he stared into space with his hand resting on a short glass of whiskey.

  “Who are you telling?”

  We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I glanced at him. “You know, I heard they were going to be hiring at the fire station.” He’d worked as a volunteer firefighter up in Iowa, but there were rarely openings for full-time. I thought maybe it might be an enticement to get him to come back to us.

  “Mmm, I’ll think about it,” he hedged.

  He downed his drink. His rings glinted in the low light of the bar area. “I’m heading home to make sure those assholes don’t trash my place.”

  I chuckled. It was the first time I’d really experienced even the slightest humor since we lost Check. “Yeah, I’m heading home soon, too.”

  “You need me to ride with you? It’s on my way,” he offered as he stood from his stool.

  “Nah. I need to drop some stuff off for Mattie first. She forgot it and evidently she needs it for tomorrow.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “Okay. See you tomorrow, bro.” I stood, and we did the handshake hug shit, then he left.

  Finishing my beer, I set the empty bottle on the bar. Our prospect, Drew, came and grabbed it. We’d voted him in right after the shit with Styx’s ol’ lady. He was a hard worker and loyal as fuck. The other one, Anthony, had been voted in right before Check’s incident. He seemed like a good guy, but time would tell. In our chapter, we didn’t give prospects a road name until they were patched.

  “You out, Prez? Or do you want another one?” he asked me.

  “Yeah, I’m out. Got something to take care of for Mattie, then I’m headed home. When you’re done cleaning up, go ahead and take off. Tell Anthony he can leave when he’s done mopping.” I tapped the bar with my knuckles and turned away.

  “Roger that, Prez.”

  If I’d had my way, I would’ve stayed at the clubhouse drinking all night and crashed in my room there. But Mattie had forgotten one of her damn toiletry bags and I’d said I’d bring it to her.

  After climbing on my bike, I waved at all the visiting brothers milling around.

  Pipes crackling, I roared out of the lot and hit the road. The wind whipped at my shirtsleeves and made my cut billow slightly around me.

  I let my mind clear. They didn’t call it wind therapy for nothing.

  Pulling into the lot, I parked and drew a ragged breath. It had been a rough week. The only upside had been that the fucking shipment had arrived, so that was one less headache I had eating at me.

  Suddenly exhausted, I trudged to the door and rang the bell. Waiting for someone to answer, I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes at the hot pink sequined bag I was holding.

  Commotion behind the door had me tensing. The tall door swung open.

  “Dad!” Mattie wrapped her arms around me, burrowing her face in my chest. Losing Check had done a number on her, and it hurt my heart. I think it had hit her really hard because I’m pretty sure she had more than a bit of a crush on him. Thankfully, she’d never said anything, because I’d have probably had a conniption. He was almost ten years older than her. Not that he’d ever have done anything.

  Choked up at thinking about him, I squeezed her back. Then, sensing the blue eyes staring at me, I looked past my daughter to the woman leaning her hands on the kitchen island.

  “Hey, Nova,” I said with a catch to my voice.

  “Nothing Left”—Seether

  God, I was such an idiot. All it took was my name dropping from his beautiful lips and all my resolutions went to shit.

  “Hey, Grayson.” I gripped the counter tighter to keep myself from going to him.

  Mattie extricated herself from his arms and ducked her head. “Thanks for bringing my bag.” She bit her lip, looked at her dad, then to me. “I’m gonna go put this with my stuff. Do you care if I watch Netflix in your room, Nova?”

  “Not a problem,” I answered. When she shut the door, I closed my eyes at the knowledge that he and I had just been played by a sixteen-year-old. I’d bet my left boob that there wasn’t a damn thing in that sparkly pink bag that she truly needed. Now her asking to stay with me while they had company made sense.

  “I should probably be going,” he said, but made no move to leave.

  Unsure of what to say, I stood there mute. When his shoulders dropped and he turned to leave, I panicked and blurted, “Do you want something to drink? It’s pretty warm out there today.”

  “Uh, yeah, that would be great.” What looked a lot like hope flashed in his eyes.

  Reaching for a bottle from the fridge, I shoved my face inside while I was hidden behind the door. It didn’t help cool my need for him in the least. Dammit.

  “Here ya go.” I handed him the bottle and fought not to react to the zing that hit me when our fingers brushed. My nipples tightened, and I tingled between my legs. Jesus, he had the most powerful effect on me, and it was embarrassing. “You wanna sit for a bit?”

  “Sure, thanks.” He moved gracefully into my small living room and sat on the edge of my couch. His bulk made my already cozy space seem downright tiny. Both his size and his personality were larger than life and always seemed to call to me like a beacon.

  Sitting in one of the side chairs, I nervously picked at my nail.

  “How are you doing?” I asked when I raised my eyes to look at him. He took my breath away, and I wanted to reach out and touch him something fierce.

  His shoulders slumped. “Honestly? Shitty,” he muttered.

  Unable to stop myself, I reached out and rested a hand on his leg. When the massive muscle jumped under my touch, I licked my lips to moisten the sudden Sahara my mouth had become.

  “I’m sorry seems so inadequate,” I whispered.

  “Yeah, I know.” His eyes seemed to glisten before he lowered his gaze.

  My insides ached at the ne
ed to give him a big hug. Except I didn’t trust myself to do it. I was hopelessly needy where he was concerned. One touch wouldn’t be enough.

  Regardless of what I told myself, we moved infinitesimally closer to each other. We were each other’s gravity.

  Polar opposites, dark and light.

  Magnetism at its finest, drawn together by an unseen force.

  Until finally, we were breathing each other’s air.

  My breath caught as he closed the remaining gap and our lips brushed. The faintest whimper escaped me as he let out a breathy groan. The tip of his tongue snaked out to smooth across my bottom lip before slipping in to tangle with mine.

  One large hand cradled the back of my neck as he tipped his head slightly to deepen the kiss. He tasted of peppermint and a little like alcohol, but only barely. He tasted like heaven, but I knew he was my own personal hell.

  Before I knew it, my hand was fisting the front of his shirt, and I was on the verge of climbing in his lap. Sanity seeped in, and I wanted to weep as I pulled free of his intoxicating grip. “Mattie is in the other room,” I whispered on a heavy exhale.

  “Fuck, I know.” Licking the taste of us from his lips, he leaned back, but his hand remained around the back of my neck. Those soft green eyes bored into me. “Nova, this is a fucking awful time, but we really need to talk.”

  I swallowed hard. “Okay?” It came out as a question instead of the agreement I meant it to be.

  Part of me ached, afraid he was going to tell me that no matter our attraction, there was no chance in hell for us. That was the part that made him my personal hell. The whimsical, hopeful part of me prayed that he was going to tell me he was madly in love with me.

  “When all of my shit with Check’s loss is settled, I want….” He sighed. “Fuck, I want something that I have no right wanting.”

  My palm rested on his bearded cheek. “Why would you have no right to want something? Why do you think you don’t deserve happiness?”

  “Because I feel like it’s my fault that Anna died. If we hadn’t been foolish, and I hadn’t gotten her pregnant, she would’ve been safe back in Dallas. Now maybe it’s my fault Check is gone. Styx met him when he moved here and brought him to the clubhouse to meet everyone. He wasn’t completely sure about club life, though. He thought he was too much of a nerd, but he wasn’t. He was an amazing kid. We needed someone like him, so I convinced him to join the club,” he said so quietly, I barely heard. His broad chest seemed to cave in as he said it. Torment razed his handsome features.