Collector of Hearts

by Cassandra Samuels

  She nodded. ‘Yes. You were right about her all along. I can’t believe she acted so... wickedly towards you. I don’t think she is a kind person anymore.’

  ‘No. I’m afraid she isn’t. I’m sorry you had to learn that.’ He caressed her cheek and her eyes fluttered closed again for a moment.

  ‘My memories of her are so different.’

  ‘Perhaps those are the memories you should remember her by.’

  ‘Perhaps, but I am so mad at her for how she has treated you. What she turned you into.’

  ‘I used to blame her, but in truth it is my own fault. Ultimately I am responsible for my actions and what I became. I’m a changed man because now I have you.’ He slid his hand up her silken thigh. ‘So, am I to win the prize you so vehemently fought to keep, simply because I stood up to your aunt? Because I told her I loved you and wanted to marry you despite her objections?’

  ‘Did you mean what you said?’

  ‘Why would I lie?’

  ‘It’s silly. My heart knows the truth but...’

  ‘Barton makes you doubt me.’ He suddenly felt the need to quit the room and find Barton’s face with his fist. Couldn’t he have simply taken what she had offered without going into the why of it?

  No. He loved her and he wanted her to trust in his love, in him.

  ‘Maybe at first. I should never have listened to him, but now I am sure. My head and my heart are in accord.’

  ‘So you will marry me?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, I will marry you. I want to marry you.’

  He kissed her then, relieved beyond words. Giddy like a child on Christmas morning. ‘It’s impossible to know what the future holds, Bella. All I know is I need you in my life. I’ve felt like a shadow for so long but you give me substance. With you I feel like I can again be the man I once was.’

  Arabella put her finger to his lips. ‘You will never be the same man you were back then, Robert. You can only be the man you are now. The man I love.’

  He gathered her in his arms and kissed her. Kissed her with everything in his lonely heart. Kissed her with all the hopes he held for their future. He could only be the man he was now, but who was that man? And was he worthy of her? Really worthy? Up until now he had been running on ego, on the misguided thought that because he was called the Collector of Hearts it made him somebody. Without that persona to hide behind, who was he?

  Bella’s hands were all over him, her lips on his neck. Was he actually nervous about this? Deflowering Bella wasn’t going to be anything like being with another woman. This had to be done right, with care and finesse. Just thinking about the self-control this would take made sweat break out on his forehead. He had to ensure this experience left her wanting more, wanting him. He knew there would be pain and discomfort for her, and evidence of it on the sheets. If she was willing to give him her virtue, the least he could do was make it as enjoyable as possible. ‘Stop thinking and make me yours, Robert,’ she gasped from underneath him. ‘Please.’

  If only he could get time to stand still so he could kiss her as long as he liked, but dawn was approaching. With her lips soft beneath his and her hands in his hair sending sparks of desire through his whole body, it was easy to forget the world around them existed.

  Make her his? It was very likely the reverse. She was making him hers.

  ***

  Arabella didn’t know what parts of him to touch first. His shoulders were strong and smooth and flexed under her fingertips. She loved how he reacted to her touch. His weight was oddly comforting. Her legs had wrapped around his waist like it was the most natural thing in the world to do, and perhaps it was. How odd and yet how delicious it was to feel the heat of his body on hers. She could feel that part of him against her. Still a mystery to her, she wasn’t quite brave enough to look directly at it. But she did look into his eyes. They had gone dark navy blue, intense and smouldering, his desire for her written clearer than any written word. It thrilled her to her toes and other places.

  His hands were on her nightgown, dragging it up over her hips. ‘As much as I love this nightgown, it has to go.’

  ‘I couldn’t agree more.’ Was that breathy sound her voice?

  It didn’t take long before the garment was flung across the room. She giggled despite herself. Shouldn’t she be embarrassed by her nudity? She was blushing, not because of her lack of clothing but because of the way he was looking at her.

  ‘Beautiful.’

  Her body was heating up like a bonfire on Guy Fawkes Night under his tender ministrations. His hands were on her breasts now, kneading them with reverent care and rolling her nipples to hard peaks. It was exquisite torture. When he took one of her breasts into his mouth she nearly arched right off the bed. She had never felt such a sensation. His mouth was hot on her flesh and as he continued to caress and suckle at her breasts, a tightening began low in her belly. She had felt this once before, at the Hall.

  She wanted to purr like a cat under his knowing hands. Those hands that were now smoothing over every part of her, touching, rubbing and caressing her. Worshiping her body with his lips. Lord above, how much more of this sweet torment could she endure?

  When he left her breasts to kiss down her middle towards her belly button, she realised this was just the beginning of something unknown, something new and exciting. It was also terrifying, like leaping into an abyss. His hands scorched trails over her skin and she became more and more restless, wanting, needing something to ease the tension that was building within her but not really knowing how.

  ‘Bella?’

  Her eyes flew open to see him levered above her. He kissed her and she couldn’t help but squirm beneath him.

  ‘I need to ready you. Just relax.’

  ‘Yes, I’ll try but do hurry,’ she replied.

  He chuckled then licked and kissed a trail from her belly button to that place between her legs. Oh, Lord. She closed her eyes again. His mouth was on her. On her secret place and at first she didn’t know what to do with herself. The feeling was so exquisite she wanted to cry out with joy. His hands smoothed over her hips and angled her to his liking. He laved that part of her that she had not paid much attention to until lately. At the Hall, he had placed his fingers inside her but this was so different, so extraordinary.

  She gasped and found it hard to keep herself steady. Her body was hot and yet she had goosebumps. Robert spread her thighs wider and inserted his finger inside her, like he had before on the billiard table at the Hall. She lost all sense of time and place as he worked her body into a frenzy of desire and tension. All his tender ministrations were causing her to moan and gasp and sigh in pleasure. She was so close to hurtling towards the stars. Just a little more …

  When it hit her, she was glad Robert had placed his hand over her mouth or she may have woken the whole house. Before she knew what she was about, he was above her, placing himself at her entrance, nudging his way in. ‘I’ll try to be as gentle as I can.’

  She nodded, for no words would pass her lips.

  She found herself holding her breath, unsure.

  ‘Breathe, Bella. It will be easier if you do.’

  She smoothed her hands over his chest, marvelling in the texture and feel of his skin, the coarse hair on his chest, the hardness of the muscles beneath. He smiled down at her and she smiled back.

  ‘I have been selfish, I see, and not let you explore me as I have explored you, but we have little time, my darling, to dally as we please. Dawn is approaching far too quickly.’

  ‘You are right,’ she said looking over at the pinks and oranges of first light appearing over the trees.

  ‘I’m giving you one last chance to change your mind. If you want to wait until our wedding night, I am willing to stop now.’

  ‘Do you want to stop?’

  ‘Hell, no. But this is not just about me. This is us, together. Once we are joined I can’t undo what has been done. Do you understand?’

  Arabella nodded. ‘I want you to ma
ke love to me.’

  He was pleased by her answer and kissed her, his lips taking hers, possessing her with his wicked mouth. He did not stop kissing her, but instead, he deepened the kiss, using his tongue to coax her to duel with him, to be an equal partner in their passion. She moaned her frustration as he took his time slowly entering her. And still, he kissed her until there was nothing in the room but the bed beneath them. Everything else had faded out of existence.

  It was not the easy slide of his fingers, but a stretching unlike she had experienced before. He paused several times before pushing a little further in. She could tell it was taking all his control. Still, he took time to whisper words of encouragement. The expression on his face was of total absorption in her, in their lovemaking.

  Suddenly the stretching seemed to give way to a burning, and Robert pushed further into her. Tears sprang to her eyes and she gasped. His eyes flew open and he looked down at her.

  ‘Are you all right? I’m sorry, my love, but I know no other way around the breaking of your maidenhead.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she said, her voice tight, but in her mind, she was hoping there was not much more. Perhaps this had been a mistake. Just as panic started to take over her, he began to push in and out of her in a slow rhythm and the burning turned to friction. Tingles of pleasure began to build with each plunge until she found herself panting in bliss instead of pain. She lifted her hips to meet him and he smiled down at her, encouraging her by gripping one of her thighs with one hand and lifting her so that he was even deeper within her.

  ‘I knew we would be perfect together,’ he said.

  His hips swivelled and thrust. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast. It was all a blur to Arabella as she felt the first tremors course through her, lifting her from this place and taking her to somewhere where only delight lived.

  Her heart hammered wildly, her body quivered at every thrust and she wanted to cry out but she knew she could not and so instead bit down on her lip and clenched the sheets in her fists. Her body seemed to have a mind of its own, greedily taking him again and again, while her mind spun around and around, making her dizzy with pleasure. His lips kissed her neck, his tongue trailed over her the dip in her shoulder and his breath was hot in her ear, his whispered words of love, making her tremble even more with the pure emotion of being here with him, in this moment, joined as one.

  He thrust deeper, quicker now, his breathing more laboured, his words strangled.

  Arabella could feel her whole body tensing. ‘Robert.’ Her voice squeaked softly, ‘Oh, my God,’ Wave after wave convulsed through her body.

  It took all of Robert’s control to prevent more unsavoury words from spilling from his mouth as she climaxed beneath him. He didn’t want to shock her any more than she already was but, oh, how he wanted to say them, loudly. Shout them to the rafters. A joy spread through him that had nothing to do with his own impending orgasm. It settled in the region of his heart. It seemed fitting that at the moment of release he felt himself give in, to her, to love and to happiness.

  Collapsing on top of her, he pulled in much-needed air, the sweat of their heated bodies making him slide deliciously over her. He was still inside her and he never wanted to leave her.

  Several minutes later, he found enough energy to roll off her and enough air to speak. ‘Tell me you are well.’ His heart still hammered like a woodpecker preparing a new nest.

  ‘I am well. Very well.’ She turned and kissed him again. ‘And you? Are you well?’

  ‘I have never felt better in my life, and not just because we have made love together but because I know we will be together as man and wife soon.’

  ‘And we can make love whenever we like?’

  ‘All day if we want to.’

  ‘It will be strange not being under the control of my father or the tender regard of my mother.’

  ‘I will be with you. You will have nothing to fear.’ He kissed her cheek and hauled her up against him. ‘I never thought I could love anyone again but you have taken my heart, my soul and now my body. I am yours.’

  She turned to him, breathing heavily, and offered her lips to him. ‘As I am yours. I love you too. Although you have not made it easy for me to do so.’

  He grinned then. ‘I do appreciate your efforts.’

  She laughed. ‘I am sure you do, especially as the reward was so... oh, Robert, I never knew it could be like that.’

  ‘Next time it will be even better, as there should be no pain. I hated that I had to hurt you.’

  ‘It lasted but a few moments.’

  Relieved beyond words, he sighed. He’d given her everything he knew how to give, had shown her his love in the only way he knew how. He could only hope she understood how powerful this had been for him. How taking her into his heart meant that it could now start mending.

  ***

  Arabella crept back to her room and waited for her maid to come in. She tried to act as normal as possible and chatted amiably but wondered how Robert would dispose of the evidence of her virginity on his sheets.

  After bathing with care, she dressed and went down to meet the rest of the house for breakfast. She wasn’t hungry; she didn’t really like eating so early in the morning. Usually she blamed it on the London hours, but today, expecting to see Robert here had made her nervous. She felt so changed by the experience. Would it be visible? Would everyone know what they had done just by looking at them?

  ‘It will be sad to leave here, Victoria dear,’ Lady Shacklesbury announced to Arabella’s mother as she took a seat at the table. ‘But you must come to London and visit.’

  ‘Yes, you must,’ Lady Shelton agreed. ‘You need some time to recuperate after all this wedding business.’

  ‘Perhaps. When the boys go off to school. I am sure that Arabella will be married by then and it will be far too quiet here.’

  All three women directed their gazes on to Arabella. Maybe they thought she had changed her mind after yesterday and decided not to let Robert court her at all.

  ‘I am sure I will be,’ she said with a smile.

  ‘So you have agreed to Shelton’s proposal?’ This came from Barton, standing in the doorway.

  ‘I have.’ Arabella beamed a smile around the room. The other ladies all clapped and congratulated her.

  ‘He is a lucky man,’ Barton said. ‘If you will excuse me, I have to check on something.’ With that, he quit the room.

  ‘Well, that was strange,’ Lady Shacklesbury said. ‘After all, you would think he would be ecstatic at the news. He had a great deal to do with the plan coming to fruition. It was a master stroke to use Barton’s feigned interest in you so Robert would take the next step, my dear.’

  ‘I was never in favour of the plan but I suppose it has all worked out for the best.’

  Amy bounced with joy. ‘Another wedding to plan. You will both have to come to London now.’

  ***

  Arabella spent an hour looking for Justin but she couldn’t find him. The day was progressing and soon Isabelle would be leaving. She had only seen her sister briefly and wanted to talk to her in private before Izzy left on her honeymoon. Isabelle’s maid opened the door, curtseying, and let her into the room.

  ‘Bella!’ Isabelle said, smiling and hugging her sister. ‘Was it terribly lonely without me last night?’

  ‘It was, but I must be strong as you are a married woman now and you are leaving me today.’ Arabella’s heart sank further at the time they would be apart.

  ‘Hopefully you will be married soon, too.’ Isabelle said with a giggle, and dismissed the maid. ‘Now, tell me. Have you spoken to Shelton since yesterday’s mishap?’

  ‘Yes, all is well between us.’

  ‘And Aunt Cat?’

  ‘I am not so sure. She has changed since we were children. I think her marriage is not a happy one and it has soured her.’

  ‘So how long are you going to make Robert court you?’

  ‘Not long. I agreed to be his wife...
yesterday.’ Technically it was early this morning, but did Isabelle really need to know that?

  ‘Oh, Bella, that is wonderful news. Quinn will be overjoyed. Not so much our father, though, I suspect.’

  ‘No, I expect not.’

  ‘Why did you insist on Robert courting you in the first place?’

  ‘Oh Izzy, everything comes so easily for him. I had to prove to him that even though I had fallen in love with him, it did not mean I would fall compliantly at his feet. I needed to know he truly wanted to marry me. I guess I just needed him to put effort into gaining the privilege of marrying me. He wasn’t happy about it, but he said he would do it, and just the fact that he was willing gave me hope.’

  ‘But now you have agreed to wed him, he does not have to court you anymore?’

  ‘I suppose not, but I am sure he will be very attentive. He is anxious for me to return to London so we will not be far from each other, and Lady Shacklesbury has invited Mother and me to stay. We just have to get Father to agree.’

  Isabelle took the chair next to her. ‘Something is wrong? I can see it in your eyes. I feel it.’

  Arabella sat on the chair next to Isabelle. ‘I fear I may have hurt Justin’s feelings.’

  ‘I think he has fallen in love with you.’

  ‘Do not be silly. He knows I love Robert.’

  Her sister smiled kindly at her. ‘He may know it but it won’t stop him from feeling what he does for you.’

  ‘Did he say something to you?’

  ‘No, but I see the way he looks at you.’

  ‘So does Robert. But Izzy, have you forgotten, it is an act. He agreed to portray himself as smitten with me. He doesn’t really feel like that about me.’

  ‘Are you sure? Sometimes pretending can turn into something real.’

  ‘I am sure you are wrong. I did try to find him earlier but he must have gone to town. I wanted to thank him for putting up with Robert’s terrible behaviour before Justin leaves with everyone else.’

  ‘Hmm. Licking his wounds, perhaps, at the King’s Arms?’

  Could Justin really be in love with her? No. Surely he knew where her heart lay. ‘Isabelle, stop. I already feel terrible.’