Breathe You In

by Joya Ryan

  Damn it. I just wanted this center, my life, the governor…all of it, to just work out.

  “See you in there, Indiana.” Silas winked. “Hope you have something up your sleeve.” Ugh. It was barely past nine a.m. and I was already annoyed, edgy, and ready to snap—likely at Silas.

  My phone buzzed again. I grabbed it quickly and read the newest text message from Paige:

  Girls Night Out 7 PM! Be prepared to spill the details about last night.

  Chapter Four

  You’re going to see him again?” Paige asked from across the small, square table. Running one hand along the stressed wood, I palmed my sweating drink in the other. “Like another meeting? Or another date?”

  Hazel’s eyes went wide at Paige’s question and she took a sip of her martini. The bar was loud, and I considered pretending I hadn’t heard her question. But I had already made up my mind, and it was time to stick to my decision.

  “Like another date,” I admitted and took a swallow of liquor.

  Paige leaned back in her chair. Her white blouse was slightly wrinkled from the twelve-hour day she had put in. Obviously, she had come straight from the office. Though the bar was dim, lit mostly by neon beer signs, I could tell Paige was tired.

  Several people lined the bar, leaning over the counter to watch the football game currently playing on all three televisions, while others huddled around a few scattered tables, laughing and cheering. The smell of draft beer and jalapeno poppers drifted around us. With my back to the front door, a fresh dose of cold evening air and cigarette smoke burst against my shoulders every time more people came in.

  “Amy, that’s awesome!” Hazel smiled. “It’s about time you started dating again.” While Hazel did look genuinely happy for me, Paige looked like she had swallowed a thumbtack.

  “Are you mad?” I asked.

  “No,” she said slowly, and frowned. Shaking her head slightly, she looked back at me with a smile. “I’m just surprised. I never expected that one event would lead to you dating my boss. Well, my boss’s boss.”

  I nodded. This wasn’t the most comfortable situation, but Paige had always been supportive. She was an amazing friend that way. Even right then, when I could tell that this was awkward for her.

  From the beginning, she had helped me in every way possible in my mission to fund the rehab center. This surprising turn of events was still a shock to my system, let alone Paige’s.

  “This won’t affect your job at all,” I assured her. Actually, agreeing to Roman’s arrangement was saving Paige’s job—a tiny factoid I could never tell her. All I had to do now was to get in touch with Roman and let him know my answer.

  “Um, actually I’m pretty sure it will.” She smiled and took a sip of her beer. “It’s election season, and it looks like the governor just got a new squeeze.” She tipped her head in my direction. Paige was trying hard to be calm and cool about this, but I could hear the worry in her voice. As assistant to the communications officer, Paige’s main job was what she called “media damage control.”

  “This won’t be an issue for you, will it?” The last thing I wanted was to bring Paige more stress. She loved her job, which was why agreeing to the governor’s proposal was important—so she could keep it.

  “Now is the time for bold moves,” she said in the analytical voice she used when mentally sorting out a problem. “But only if they ensure a win. The governor’s personal life is already on display. As long as your relationship maintains an even keel, and no incriminating information comes out, this could be a good thing. It all depends on what occurs and how it gets spun.”

  I took a deep breath. Hopefully there would be no negative repercussions. As for skeletons in the closet, I kept all mine back home in Indiana, which was where I intended them to stay. The unflattering events of my past weren’t documented or mainstream accessible. My sister’s death was public record, but the details behind it, like me driving her home instead of to the hospital, weren’t. That was a detail very few people knew about.

  I swallowed the knot rising in my throat. I had never doubted that Paige was smart and good at her job. She had special X-ray vision that saw straight through bullshit. But I couldn’t tell her the whole truth regarding my relationship with the governor. If I did, the job that she was so good at would disappear, and all the help and support she’d given me to get this center up and running would have been for nothing. Roman had made that quite clear.

  “Not everything is a calculated move, Paige,” Hazel said. “He obviously likes her and you like him, right, Amy?”

  For some reason, my mouth refused to produce words. Being less than totally honest with my friends was incredibly difficult, and the question hit a chord deep in my gut. I thought of Roman’s hands on me, the way he had pulled me to his body, his strong mouth working mine. Every encounter with him was taking me further from sanity. In his presence, I felt desperate and aggressive, small and feminine, all at the same time.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “I like him.”

  I also kind of hated him. Last evening’s chat hadn’t been particularly pleasant, but for some reason, when I thought of Roman, our first encounter always beat out our second. The feel of his mouth and his chest, the sound of his voice—my brain refused to let go of a single ounce of memory from that night. Instead, it held the leading slot under “Things I Thought of Hourly.”

  Hazel smiled. “I’m sure everything will work out fine, for everyone.”

  She glanced at Paige, who obviously wasn’t entirely sure. And I couldn’t really blame her about that.

  “It’s a different world, Amy,” Paige said. The flash of concern in her eyes and the low tone of her words said it all. She was scared. For me.

  “I know.” I looked at her and said the phrase I had been chanting to myself mentally all day. “I can handle it.”

  Because this time, I knew what I was getting into.

  Warren had blindsided me. Roman was upfront. From here on out, he couldn’t hurt me if I didn’t let him. Or at least, that was my theory.

  “Just out of curiosity, what do you two have in common, anyway?” Paige asked.

  “We’re both Giants fans,” said a deep, roughened voice.

  I spun in my seat and saw the tower that was Roman Reese standing behind me. Paige immediately stood and Hazel followed suit.

  “I’m sorry, sir,” Paige said, “I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

  “Neither did I,” I said, choosing to stay in my seat and look up at him.

  His dark hair was perfectly combed, but a shadow of stubble covered his strong jaw, and his black eyes shone like onyx. His presence was engulfing. His massive shoulders and confident stature were very apparent even beneath his jacket. The top two buttons of his white collared shirt were undone, and just the hint of tan skin exposed made me wonder if it felt as smooth as it looked.

  “Forgive my interruption,” he said, glancing between Paige and Hazel. “I just came to check in with Amy about a lingering question.”

  He smiled at me and slid two fingers down the column of my neck. The confident grin he unleashed along with his blazing touch made all the moderate nervousness I had been feeling lunge into full-force anticipation.

  “We were just leaving anyway,” Paige said, collecting her coat from the back of her chair.

  “No, you don’t have to.” I swung back around to face my friends.

  “We’ll see you at home later.” Hazel winked and gathered up her things.

  She was supportive of me and the governor having alone time, but Paige’s jerky movements and quick verbiage were a dead giveaway that she wasn’t completely sold. Her concern came from a good place, but I hated myself for adding another item to her plate of things to worry about.

  They both hustled out, and Roman wasted no time taking a seat next to me and pulling it close.

  “Well, you sure know how to clear a room. How did you know I was here?”

  “I passed Bill’s office
this afternoon and overheard Paige making plans.” He grinned, gently taking the drink from my hand and savoring a long swallow before handing it back to me.

  “Mmm.” He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I’ve been craving blueberries all day.”

  A shiver ran over my skin as the subtle scent of tart blueberries from the vodka he’d just tasted fanned over my jaw. I turned slightly, bringing our lips inches apart. My lungs struggled to process oxygen.

  “I can’t believe you eavesdropped on Paige to find me.”

  He rested one forearm on the table and gripped the back of my chair with his other hand, effectively boxing me in. If I wanted to leave, I’d have to go through him.

  “I was walking by the office of my communications officer in my place of business. Hardly eavesdropping.” His words, accompanied by that sly upturn of his lips, were heartstopping.

  I did my best to hide how he affected me. Opting to roll my eyes, I muttered, “Uh-huh.”

  “You left me little choice. If you won’t come to me, I’ll come to you.”

  I glanced at my watch. “I still have eight minutes of my twenty-four hours left.”

  He lifted his chin slightly and looked down at me. “So you do. Is it your intention to make me wait?”

  “Absolutely.” I smiled widely.

  “Very well. I’m a patient man, especially when the odds are in my favor.”

  “You’re so sure I’ve made up my mind?” I asked, hoping my bluff wasn’t written all over my face. Maintaining some kind of pride would be useful. The last thing Roman needed was an easy victory over me to further inflate his ego.

  “I think you made up your mind last night before you left the table,” he said, his voice so low that only I could hear him.

  He trailed his fingertip from my chin down my neck. The urge to break into a full shiver and wrap my arms around him became overwhelming.

  Raw need buzzed through me so hard, it felt like an active bee hive had taken up residence in my chest. It was hard to remember that this was the same man who’d sat opposite me last night, harsh and demanding. This was the side of Roman that my body instantly recognized. He’d only touched me briefly, kissed me once, but it had apparently been enough to bury a seed of lust that was blooming into a full-blown craving.

  “What if I need more?”

  He frowned. “More of what?”

  You. Despite that being the truth, I didn’t say it out loud. The other night at dinner, he had been upset with me, and I understood why. He had thought I was meeting him with an agenda, and the idea of being used didn’t tend to sit well with people. Hence, the emotional rollercoaster I’d been on for the past twenty-four hours.

  I hadn’t shown up at that restaurant to talk about the center or its funding. I had shown up to see the man who’d carried my shoes and made me feel like the wealthy world around me didn’t matter. The man who’d kissed me with no reservation.

  “I want more of that night,” I whispered.

  He looked at me for a long moment. “The night we met,” he stated. Maybe he felt something too. Something beyond the proposed arrangement. Or maybe I was fooling myself…

  “That was a good evening,” he finally admitted.

  Something inside my chest relaxed, and breathing became a bit easier. Just his acknowledgment sparked an ounce of hope that there existed the potential for something greater than what I was about to agree to.

  “I saw you.”

  His frowned deepened. “What do you mean ‘saw’? You don’t see me now?”

  “Not in the same way. I only get glimpses. That night you were…” A tremor rolled up my spine. He had been intense, engaging, consuming. But of all the things he’d been, only one word seemed to fit what I was trying to say. “You were real.”

  “And you want more of this man you think me to be? This man you saw at the gala?”

  “I know I saw him,” I said with all the confidence I felt, because that man was the one thing I was clinging to. The one who was honest and real, and seemed connected to a deeper part of me that I couldn’t explain. “And yes. I want more of that man.”

  His fingers gently trailed behind my earlobe, then down to my collarbone. “Alright, Miss Underwood, I’ll see what I can do.” His mouth was so close I could feel the hum of his words vibrate my lips. “But I want something in return.”

  I knew right away what that something was: my answer.

  “Do you always get what you want?” I breathed, completely aware that I was leaning into his touch and not caring at all.

  “That depends.”

  “On?”

  He palmed the side of my neck, and my gaze snapped from his mouth to his eyes. “On what the next word you say is.”

  Holding that piercing black stare, I whispered the only thing that felt right. “Yes.”

  He gave a quick nod. “Good.”

  Just when I thought he’d kiss me, a loud cheer erupted through the bar as the patrons celebrated a touchdown.

  I pulled back, breaking the trance, and looked around. Six men in matching black suits were stationed around the bar. All with earpieces. How had I not noticed them? Maybe because every time Roman invaded my personal space, the world outside of his shadow didn’t seem to exist.

  Several mumbles and questioning eyes zeroed in on us. Then a flash of light. Cell phones were out and pointing in our direction. Roman’s security detail flocked around us, like shadows coming out of nowhere.

  Paige’s words from earlier began to sink in. The governor’s personal life was, and would be now more than ever, on display.

  “Aren’t you worried someone will see us?” I asked. “See you…”

  “See me what?”

  “You know.” I looked around again. Though people kept their distance, many called out to the governor, cheered, or waved. “Getting cozy with a random girl in a bar?”

  He arched a brow and grinned. “Getting cozy?”

  “You know what I mean,” I huffed quickly. Awkwardness enveloped me quicker than I could process it. Thank God I had remembered to take my anxiety pill this afternoon.

  “I do.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “And no, I’m not worried. Because you’re not a random girl. You’re my girlfriend now, remember? There is nothing wrong with me enjoying a night out with you.”

  The word “girlfriend” made my heart skip. “At a sports bar in Arbor Hill?”

  “Especially at a sports bar in Arbor Hill.” He wound his arm around me and palmed the small of my back, pulling me closer. “Now, make it look good, sweetheart. People are watching.”

  His lips landed on mine in a consuming kiss. Quick and hard, it was like a brand, telling me what I was and showing everyone else.

  More flashes of light went off, and comprehension flooded my brain. This was what Roman was going for: being a “man of the people,” hanging out on a Thursday night with his small-town girlfriend, watching the Giants game.

  He drew away and smiled. The shouts continued. Questions of who I was and requests for autographs rolled through the crowd. There were even some catcalls and whistles.

  I sat up straight, determined to put some distance between us and remind myself that this was, in fact, an arrangement. Titles like “girlfriend” didn’t really matter, because they were based on a verbal contract.

  He stood and helped me to my feet. Facing the crowd, he pulled me close and waved, then nodded to a member of his security. They began patting down a few people—the first of what would likely be many—and letting them come closer. People were still holding out their cell phones, asking for a picture with the governor.

  “What’s the next step, then?” I asked quietly.

  As the patrons approached, he kept his hold on me and said in a low voice, “Dinner tomorrow night at my place. We have some rules to cover.”

  Chapter Five

  The next night, Roman sent a car for me, which wouldn’t have been that bad except that it meant questioning stares from both
Hazel and Paige before leaving. The ride to his house wasn’t long, but my thoughts, most of which weren’t good, had more than enough time to take over my entire brain.

  “Good evening, Miss Underwood,” said a man in a—big shocker—black suit, opening my car door. “Governor Reese is waiting.”

  He escorted me up the steps and into the governor’s mansion. It was massive, but held a homey quality. The red brick facade accented by white pillars and trim reminded me of something you might see in the country. Small fir trees lined the walk leading to the front door, and the fresh scent of pine wafted in the cool air. The large maple tree in the middle of the lawn was starting to lose its leaves, raining bits of yellow and orange on the trimmed green grass, like paint splatter. September was one of my favorite months in New York, because it was when autumn really started to show its true colors.

  The guard ushered me through the front door, then stopped me in the foyer.

  “Forgive me, but I need to check your purse.”

  “Of course.” I handed it to him. He went through it quickly and thoroughly and handed it back.

  “Amy,” Roman said as he entered the room and walked toward me. He wore a white, form-fitting button-down shirt, rolled at the sleeves and tucked into dark pants. The black belt that lined his hips completed the look, making the governor positively drool worthy.

  His eyes were fixed on mine, and the powerful, graceful way his body moved was enchanting. When he was toe-to-toe with me, he cupped my face in his palms and kissed me softly on the lips. I jumped, startled that he’d be so bold in front of one of his security men.

  “You look beautiful,” he said against my lips, ignoring my surprise.

  “Thank you.” My voice was a poor excuse for a choked whisper.

  He smiled and, with his hand on my lower back, guided me to walk with him, leaving the security guy, and the bulk of my sanity, behind.

  “Why did you kiss me?”

  “Shh,” he said and squeezed my hip.

  I clamped my mouth shut and tamped down everything that was going through my mind. We didn’t head toward the dining room like I’d expected. Instead, he led me down a more private hallway.