Quinn, amused by his apparent discomfort, finally nodded. “It is a good name. A strong name. A name that will make her feared throughout the world.”
Robert cast a look at Quinn. “Then I shall take my leave to do just that.”
When he was gone, Quinn leaned over and kissed Gallagher, then Fiona.
“Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be from now on, eh, lover? Gallagher gets first affection?” Pulling Quinn back to her, Fiona kissed her passionately. “You might wish to rethink that.”
Sitting on the side of the bed, Quinn looked down at the two loves of her life feeling more joy than she could ever imagine feeling and more sadness than she had ever experienced. The conversation with Robert had rattled her to the core, and yet she could not share with Fiona how badly her heart was breaking. “Naming her after me... I...”
“I have bound you to her for life. Yes. That was my intention. I hope you do not mind.”
Quinn blinked back tears. “Mind? She is my greatest gift.”
The midwife returned from having cleaned the baby, her eyebrow raised at the conversation. Fiona took Gallagher from the midwife and adjusted the baby so she could hold her in one hand while holding Quinn’s hand in her other. “That will be all. I can handle her from here.” To Quinn she whispered, “You were amazing, my love. Now, about you. Can you tell me how your pirating went? What the outcome was? There are murmurings that Elizabeth is stepping up her father’s plantation ideas. There is so much I need to know.”
Quinn told her the whole story while Fiona nursed Gallagher. When she finished, she could have sworn the baby winked at her.
“She watches you,” Fiona said softly.
“Aye. It is almost eerie... like she came out knowing me.”
“Maybe she did. Thank you so much, my sweet love, for being here.”
“I try not to break my promises, Fiona, but lately, I haven’t been able to keep any. Had it not been for Becca, I would have been too late.”
“I owe that marvelous woman more than she could ever know. Thank the goddess. How long do I have you?”
The hopefulness in Fiona’s eye was like a dagger in Quinn’s heart. This was it. Their time was up. Their journey together had ended, and she could not even tell her why. “I must leave in a couple of days. There is so much going on, and––”
“Grace needs you.”
“Aye. Very much so. You do realize that Grace O’Malley will be thrilled the child bears her name.”
“Good. Your captain is an incredible woman and now, my daughter carries the names of two strong, independent females. She’ll not join her brother anytime soon. Now, you are exhausted. Come. Lay your head on my lap and get some rest. Our family is all here, safe and sound because of you.”
Quinn looked away.
Family.
Looking around, she realized that “family” really didn’t include her. Robert had made it perfectly clear that he would take Fiona and the baby far away if she continued coming around. The baby was his, not hers, not theirs. This family of Fiona’s didn’t really include her and never would. Love was not enough. Gold was not enough. The life of a noblewoman married to an English lord did not have room in it for an Irish pirate.
The problem was, she wasn’t even remotely ready to walk away.
* * *
They had a few more days together, with Quinn rarely letting Gallagher out of her sight.
Fiona recovered quickly, and together the three of them walked the garden, watched ships pull into the harbor, and sat by the fire each night being regaled by pirate stories Quinn had seldom shared until now.
She was desperate to give Fiona as much of her as she could before she left. She had to, because she was not at all certain she was strong enough to merely walk away, threat or no threat.”
On the third day, Kwame arrived to let Quinn know Grace and the Malendroke had returned and her presence on board was requested.
Quinn’s chest felt like an anchor had fallen on it.
“I must admit, my love, I’ve grown rather fond of having you here.” Fiona reached up and brushed a stray hair away from Quinn’s face.
Quinn walked arm in arm with Fiona toward the stables, where her dapple-grey waited. “It’s been a remarkable time, Fiona. You and Gallagher have made my heart sing in so many ways. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such peace.”
Fiona pulled Quinn closer. “And yet, you have to go.”
“Aye. I’m afraid a visit is all it is.”
“When will you return?”
The question was a kick in the gut. “I do not know. I am afraid there will be many trips to Scotland, and there is much to do to help secure Mary’s throne. It could be quite a while, I’m afraid.”
Fiona inhaled deeply, her ample bosom straining the fabric of her dress. “I love you, Callaghan, with every bit of energy I possess. I’ll never forget what you did for me and my daughter––our daughter.”
Quinn cut a look at her and smiled sadly. It was a sweet notion, but the truth was, Gallagher would never be hers, and they would never be a family. It had been a foolish pipe dream of hers when they first met, but they were different people now with very different life circumstances.
“Her eyes never leave you... nor do yours leave her. It is surely a match created by the goddess.”
When they reached the barn, the dapple-grey was saddled up and ready to go.
“Be safe out there, my love. Know where your home truly is and know that we will be waiting.” Fiona brushed her cheek against Quinn’s and whispered. “Thank Becca for me, will you? That girl is the most selfless person I know.”
Quinn nodded, her palm on Fiona’s cheek. She stared for a long time into her her blue eyes. “I’ll do that. Take care of my little pirate, Fi, and remember that every single night, I go to sleep thinking of you.”
Fiona’s brow furrowed. “Why do you look so sad, my love?”
“Leaving you always makes me sad, Fiona, but now I am leaving two women I am in love with. I am sorry I cannot be stronger.”
Fiona pulled her into a kiss. “I would be more worried if you did not appear sad to leave us.”
Throwing her leg over the saddle, Quinn took the package of clothing from Fiona. “And thank you for naming her after me. While I’ll never have a daughter of my own, knowing she is ours makes all the difference in the world. I love you, Fiona. More than you could ever know.”
“And I love you, Quinn Gallagher.”
Taping the horse’s flanks, Quinn and the dapple-grey headed into Galway and to her next set of goodbyes. With tears in her eyes, she rode hard and fast, escaping the life she now knew would never be hers.
* * *
Robert’s request stunned me until I had time to think on it. Of course he knew. Walls have eyes and ears, and the staff would, of course, talk. I was foolish to think he just didn’t pay any attention.
My heart ached at the first goodbye, and I felt it crack more as I made my way to Becca.
I’ve never been very good with goodbyes, and those I’ve said to Becca and Fiona were the hardest yet. That little babe has my heart wrapped with a red bow. I sat with her for hours when Fiona needed rest. Hours we walked the gardens with me sharing story after story. I found myself suddenly talking to her about Becca, of all people.
I daresay our adventure together brought us closer than ever. I had expected our goodbye to be brief, but when I laid my eyes upon her, all I wanted to do was devour her—not just because she is beauty incarnate but because it was by her actions that I could get to Fiona in time. It was truly Becca who saved their lives as surely as if it had been me.
And that made me love her even more.
Funny thing, though.
When I went to her room, it was empty. The panic I felt ran like poison through my veins until one of the other serving girls pointed upstairs and told me Becca had moved to the corner room.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I arrived at her door just as she opened it.<
br />
“Callaghan!” Becca threw her arms around me and pulled me into the lavish bedroom.
Three times the size of her small room downstairs, this room had a window facing the dock, a very comfortable bed, and an animal fur rug.
“Becca, what are you––”
“Doing here? Apparently, your other lover wished to thank me, so she paid for this room and told Harry it was to remain mine until I no longer wanted it.”
“Fiona paid for your room?”
Becca nodded and began telling me the story of it all, when I threw myself upon her and took her several times, each time more explosive than the previous. I think it was the third time that I realized how much she meant to me and my life. I kissed her gently and told her as much.
She surprised me by crying and telling me that she had really needed me to give her some reason to believe she was important.
I felt terrible.
Becca is more to me than sex and a good romp. She is special and important, beautiful and brave.
So I told her so, and in the telling understood that Becca had been selfless in her secondary position in my heart.
And my heart started slowly breaking at the truth of it.
Neither woman has ever gotten all of me, and though they have loved me as much and as well as they can, I simply have not been present enough to return their love.
Maybe Fiona should find room in her heart for her husband.
Maybe Becca should find a man who can take her away from her tavern.
Maybe I am the heartless one for taking all they can give while only tossing them both crumbs.
When Becca was sated, she lay in my arms until I knew I would be on the verge of angering Grace, so I said goodbye once more and started for the ship.
Much can happen on a pirate ship in a week, and the moment I returned to the Malendroke, everyone started in.
Apparently, on their return from Scotland, a ship had been run around and Grace had ordered the crew to seize the cargo. As they were leaving the ship, someone from the crow’s nest shouted they saw a lone man washed up on shore.
Dead?
No one knew for sure.
So Grace took two men ashore to find out.
The young man, whose name is Hugh, is fifteen years the junior of Grace and yet, according to the gossip running rampant on board, Grace herself nursed the young man back to health and... well, he may have received extra care, as it were.
I’ve spoken since with the lad, and he is a genuinely warm fellow who is as smitten with Captain O’Malley as she is with him. The crew says they’ve not seen her in such fine spirits, and they’d be right. She seems... happy.
As for Hugh, I like the lad. He is full of life and has a great spirit. He makes Grace laugh, which is a wonderful sound to hear aboard the ship. I hope he chooses to stay a long time, as he seems to make her so happy.
I saw Grace briefly this afternoon when she came out to greet me, saying we would talk this evening so she could catch me up on what transpired in Scotland.
But Tavish has already filled in the blanks, and it doesn’t look good for Mary of Scotland. The severed heads were, in fact, those of emissaries Mary sent over to see if Ireland’s clan leaders would help her defend her nation against England. They had gotten caught in a game of cards, plied with ale, and then were swiftly removed in the dead of night to the Frasier Farm, where they were tortured and beheaded.
The torture was discovered when one of the mouths fell open to reveal a missing tongue and teeth that had been bashed in.
Mary was saddened at first, then angry, then calculating, saying she would forever be in Grace’s debt. Mary fears for her life now and is certain Elizabeth intends on attacking her, Scotland, or both.
When Grace left Scotland, Tavish informed her he would be sailing back with all the galloglaighs he could muster up in Ireland. It was time, he said, for Scotsmen to leave Ireland to her own devices and to take up arms to defend their queen.
My heart hurts for him and his fellow Scotsmen. All they want is to be Scottish. Not English. Not Welsh. I understand completely why he wishes to go home. It doesn’t make me love him any less, and I know I will miss him fiercely. He’s been my shadow for these six years, and we’ve become very close. It was Fiona who gave Tavish over to me... to Grace... to watch out over me. He well knows her and how different out lives are––still, when duty calls, it calls.
So now we are at Rockfleet, and the captain is seldom outside her bedchamber where Hugh recovers from his ordeal. I have to say, I am looking forward to finally being able to sit down and talk to Grace about Scotland. While the crew has filled me in for the most part, none were with Grace when she was with Mary and, having met Mary once myself, I am well aware of her mercurial nature.
Here comes Grace now. More to follow...
* * *
“Callaghan! Come here!” Grace took one long stride through the door and wrapped Quinn up in her unusually long arms. “I know I’ve not been available, but it was questionable there fer a moment whether or not Hugh was gonna make it. Come with me.”
Quinn followed Grace out to the furthest point of the land where it gently met up with the sea. A sturdy wooden bench sat at the edge, and Grace plopped down on it, extending her legs.
“Seems I owe ya once again fer commandin’ the men durin’ the rout of Rockfleet. The men said ya masterminded a brilliant plan to defeat that scurrilous husband of mine.”
Quinn sat next to her. They were far away from prying eyes and ears. “I did what I could, Captain.”
“And it nearly cost ya yer woman.” Grace fully faced Quinn, her green eyes piercing hers. “And her infant. I heard.”
“Nearly dead is not anything like dead,” Quinn said, feeling her eyes well up.
Grace tossed her head back and roared, her red hair catching the wind like a flag. “Indeed. Well, I am grateful to ya fer preservin’ Rockfleet from Richard. I am even more grateful ya were able to save Fiona. The Moynihans and Robert will forever be in our debt, and that is a good thing. How are they?”
Quinn looked away. “They are wonderful, Captain. The child is an old soul with eyes more knowing than curious.”
Grace nodded. “Oh, aye. I remember two of my sons havin’ that look about them. Ya wonder how much they heard while leechin’ off their mama.”
“She stole my heart, that little babe.”
“They do that.” Grace gazed out at the sea for a few quiet moments before turning back to Quinn. “What’s happened, Callaghan? Ya are quiet and down. Is everrathin’ all right with ya and yer lady?”
Quinn replayed for her what Robert had demanded of her.
“Oh, Callaghan, I am so verra sorry to hear that, but the man is right. Fiona is now riskin’ the fate of her child as well as her social status should it be known she loves a woman. Quite frankly, I am surprised it lasted this long.”
“I’m heartbroken, Captain.”
“I am sure ya are, but Callaghan, perhaps it is time fer ya to find someone like yerself to love.”
“Like myself? I don’t think there are many others out there like me, sir.”
“Ya know, I thought the same thing until I met Hugh.” Grace leaned forward. “I needed ya to come here, Callaghan, because... well, quite frankly, I need someone’s opinion I can trust.”
Quinn was slightly taken aback by the confession. Though Grace knew she was a woman, she had never treated her any differently than she did the rest of the crew. “I’m honored, Captain.”
Grace shook her head. “No more so than I, Callaghan. Time and time again ya have come through fer me. Ya have proven yer worth as more than just a crew member on the ship. In an odd way, ya are one of the few female friends I have, and it is that person I’ve been needin’ to speak with.”
“You know you can trust me to be discreet, Captain.”
“And I count on yer discretion,” Grace looked down and worried her torn thumbnail. “First things first. No doubt by now, the
crew has filled ya in on Hugh.”
Quinn nodded. “Here and there. They suspect you have feelings for him––that you have had feelings for him ever since they brought him aboard the ship.”
Grace slowly looked up. “And they would be right. I don’t know how it happened, but the moment he opened his eyes and gazed into mine, I was smitten... struck down by emotions I can’t say I have ever really felt.”
Quinn suddenly felt as if she were sitting with Shea or Kennedy, gossiping about boys in the village. Was this why Grace O’Malley had called her to Rockfleet?
“You love him.” It was not a question.
Grace once again cast her gaze to the sea. “Aye, Callaghan, I do. Hugh de Lacy may be young, but he is a man’s man––a man I would proudly call mine. A man who wants an old salty dog like myself. He makes me laugh. He is smart and talks to me like I am as well. He is a good man. He is now my man.”
Quinn chose to remain silent.
“Ya loved someone ya were not supposed to love, Callaghan. How did ya do it? How did ya stay steadfast to what people believe ya are without givin’ up who ya truly are?” Grace returned her eyes to Quinn’s. “How do ya manage to walk in both worlds?”
Quinn ran her hand through her hair. “It is like walking a tightrope, Captain. There are days when I am certain I shall fall off and there are days I walk right to the other end. It is never easy loving one we are not supposed to love, but if that love––if your bond’s strong enough, you’ll find a way.”
“The way ya and Fiona found a way?”
“Yes. We found a way that might have gone on indefinitely if there wasn’t a husband. Pardon my dimness, Captain, but why can’t you be open about your love for de Lacy? You dismissed Richard. He is no longer an issue.”
“Ya mean aside from our age difference? He is not one whom clan leaders would support standin’ beside the queen of Connacht. And I need their support.”
“Aye. That you do. Folks will always gossip, Captain. You cannot control that fact. So the best you can do is not flaunt your relationship or love for the man. Sooner or later, the gossip will die down, leaving you two alone in your relationship.”
Shiver Her Timbers: The Plundered Chronicles Page 9