EPILOGUE:
TWO HONEYMOONS AND A FUNERAL
Markel Bobo sat back in his seat and breathed a sigh of relief as the transport lifted off.
He glanced at Jenn Strings beside him. She looked absolutely terrified. Yet, even with stress lines bulging across her forehead and white-knuckled hands clutching the arms of her seat, she somehow managed to still look so damn cute.
He had no idea where they were going, but was fairly certain it would be safer than staying on Necromunda. After shooting Ramone and waiting to make sure that Kal and Yolanda were safe, Bobo had left the chapel and made his way to the wall. In exchange for the information about Ran Lo’s contract on his life, Kauderer had gladly given Bobo a ‘Get out of the Spire free’ card, which had allowed him passage back through the wall.
From there, he’d gone straight to Madam Noritake’s and grabbed Jenn. They were out the door in under two minutes. Her client at the time hadn’t been happy, but he was even less happy when Bobo pressed his knife into the man’s neck.
‘What are you doing?’ Jenn had asked.
‘Getting us somewhere safe,’ Bobo had replied. He pulled her down the street towards the industrial district. He had to find a certain rotund member of House Van Saar.
‘Why aren’t we safe?’ asked Jenn. She pulled her hand out of his grasp and stopped in the street, her arms crossed and her foot tapping the ground.
‘I can’t explain it all here,’ he’d told her. ‘You know my work is dangerous, right?’
She’d nodded, but still glared at him.
‘Well it got really dangerous this week and now we have to leave.’
‘But I don’t want to go hide in the Underhive,’ she’d said. ‘I like it at Madam Noritake’s. I have a nice bed and warm food.’
‘I’m not taking us to the Underhive,’ Bobo had said. He pulled her into an alley, as he was getting nervous about standing on the street. ‘Look, I’m leaving. I want you to come with me. I promise a nice bed will await us on the other side, and hot food. Real food.’
‘Real food?’
‘Food grown naturally instead of being reconstituted. I’ve also heard of things called fruits and vegetables. Meat from animals, that haven’t grown up drinking acid and eating poison waste. You name it, Jenn, and it’s yours.’
She hugged him and they ran off. From there, it was just a matter of convincing Jenn’s five-minute Van Saar client that his lack of stamina would remain a secret if he could quietly book them passage on the next transport leaving Necromunda.
A thousand credits for bribes and another thousand for the Van Saar merchant to help keep his mouth shut after they were gone got them two seats on a transport, waiting to leave Hive Primus behind forever. Jenn had looked at him funny when Bobo didn’t even blink before handing over two thousand credits. But she didn’t ask any questions.
Bobo didn’t relax until the transport left the Hive City docks and rocketed into the sky above the hive. He sat back in his seat for a moment and just breathed. He’d done it. He’d beaten the Spire and lived. He had close to fifty thousand credits in his bag along with several changes of clothing from Jackal Bristol’s wardrobe. Let Kauderer bill me, he thought.
Once they left the atmosphere, Bobo reached under his seat and pulled out a small package from his bag. It was a new outfit for Jenn, something silky and short. He’d bought it right after telling Kauderer about his conversation with Mr Smythe.
‘Here,’ he said. ‘A little something for you to wear as we start our new life, Mrs Bristol.’
‘Mrs who?’ she asked.
‘We’re now Jackal and Jenn Bristol,’ said Bobo. ‘And our lives are just beginning.’
Jenn took the package and made her way to the bathroom in the back of the transport. Bobo sat back and closed his eyes. It was over. His nightmare trip to the Spire had finally ended and it had all turned out for the best.
‘You’re wrong about that, Mr Bobo,’ said a male voice next to him.
Bobo opened his eyes to see Mr Smythe sitting next to him. Without his years of training, he might have looked surprised. But surprise dulled the senses. He would never allow that.
‘Wrong about what?’ he asked.
‘Your life is not beginning,’ said Mr Smythe. ‘In fact, it’s about to end.’
He opened his coat to show Bobo a laspistol hidden underneath.
‘Your employer is dead,’ said Bobo. He shifted in his seat to face Mr Smythe. His hand slipped down into the seat cushion for just a moment as he turned. ‘There’s no reason for you to seek revenge.’
‘Oh, this isn’t revenge,’ said Mr Smythe. ‘It’s business. I have a new employer now. I think you’ve met him. Lord Ran Lo. Apparently you and he have unfinished business and I’m here to…’
Bobo’s hand shot out, sticking the poison dart he’d stashed in the cushion into Mr Smythe’s stomach. Smythe gasped as the fast-acting poison coursed through his body. Bobo grabbed the gun from his hand and dropped it into the bag.
He got up from his seat, moved the gurgling Mr Smythe over against the window and buckled him in. As Jenn came back from the bathroom, Bobo picked up his bag and took her hand.
‘That looks great on you,’ he said. The silk draped ever so nicely on her lithe form. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘That man wanted our seats. We’re moving up to first class.’
Jenn hugged him and Bobo smiled. ‘In fact, it’s first class from now on for the Bristols.’
‘But he never finished the sentence,’ said Yolanda. ‘I was there, okay? He said, “I now pronounce you Lord of the Hive and…” He never finished the sentence.’
The trio sat in their usual spot in the Sump Hole. Three wildsnakes sat on the table; two of them completely untouched. Only Scabbs was drinking. Kal and Yolanda just sat there, staring at the table.
Scabbs set his empty bottle down and took a moment to swallow the squirming worm from the bottom. He’d gotten a little better at that lately. It really wasn’t much worse than swallowing the cook’s runny eggs.
‘He did finish the sentence,’ said Scabbs. ‘I heard him.’
Kal and Yolanda both stared at him. Kal still wore his wedding coat. He’d even gotten a tailor to replace the missing epaulet. Yolanda had gotten out of her wedding dress almost immediately. In fact, her mother had to close the dressing room door lest everyone see as she ripped it off.
She had kept the spiked gauntlets though, and now Scabbs was a little worried that she might use those spikes on him.
‘Explain yourself,’ said Kal, quietly and slowly.
‘After Ramone interrupted and weapons started going off all over the place,’ said Scabbs, looking back and forth between Kal and Yolanda, ‘the priest and I ran for cover behind the arch.’
Scabbs looked at his empty bottle and thought about ordering another one, but Kal reached over and grabbed him by the lapel. ‘And…?’ he asked.
‘Oh,’ said Scabbs. ‘While we were down there, I heard the priest say “wife”.’
‘That doesn’t mean a thing,’ said Yolanda. ‘You might have misheard him or he was worried about his wife.’
‘That’s just what I thought,’ said Scabbs. ‘So I turned to him and I said, “What?” and he said “I now pronounce you man and wife”. I guess he had to get it out of him or something. You know priests. They hate to be interrupted when they’re on a roll.’
Kal and Yolanda lapsed into silence and stared at the table a little longer. Scabbs reached out and pulled Kal’s bottle towards him. He drank as the two fumed.
‘I’m married,’ said Kal after a while.
‘I’m married,’ said Yolanda. ‘To you!’
Kal sat back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. ‘I never thought I’d get married,’ he said. ‘I’m Kal Jerico, Underhive bounty hunter. Not Kal Jerico, family man.’
Yolanda
jumped out of her chair. ‘It’s your scavving family that got us into this mess,’ she screamed. ‘And your family will get us out of it.’
Kal just sat there with an odd expression on his face. Scabbs wasn’t sure if it was concern, contemplation or simply gas.
‘So,’ said Yolanda, standing over Kal. ‘What are you going to do about this?’
Kal looked up at Yolanda. Her breasts were heaving beneath her tight, leather vest and the veins were practically popping out from beneath the gang tattoos on her forehead. He smirked at her.
‘Well, it’s my wedding night,’ he said. ‘And I plan to do what every married man does on his wedding night.’
Yolanda reared back and slapped Kal across the face. But his smirk remained in place.
Just then, a barmaid came over to see if they needed anything else. Kal grabbed her around the waist, pulled her onto his lap and gave her a long, deep kiss. She wrapped her arms around Kal and kissed him back.
Afterwards, Kal looked up at Yolanda, his smirk still in place. ‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘I don’t need you for what I have in mind.’
Yolanda slapped him again and stormed out of the Sump Hole.
The barmaid, her arms still around Kal’s neck, watched Yolanda leave. ‘What was that about?’ she asked.
‘Don’t worry about her,’ said Kal. ‘That’s just my wife.’
About The Author
Will McDermott is a fantasy and science fiction writer who has written three Necromunda novels for Black Library featuring the bounty hunter Kal Jerico: Cardinal Crimson, Lasgun Wedding and Blood Royal, co-written with Gordon Rennie. He lives and works in Bothell, Washington with his family.
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