Janet was really disappointed Estelle wasn’t at the workshop; she was desperate to tell her about the ‘dusky musk’ coincidence. In fact, she had tried to ring her to tell her about it several times that week, but with no luck. And somehow it didn’t seem quite the same to share it with either of the others. Reenie might be shocked, and very likely Kate would just laugh cynically. She could tell Jade, she supposed, if she could get her alone.
‘Orgasm night will be a culmination of everything we have been working towards on this course,’ Jade told them. ‘A chance to practise all the self-pleasuring techniques you have learned in a safe, sensual environment.’
‘I’d hardly call this place sensual,’ Kate said, and yet again, Janet had to agree. Try as Jade might to sex it up with the Kama Sutra picture and the cushions and throws, the hall was still really just the hall, complete with its shadows of pensioners’ lunch clubs and bring-and-buy sales.
‘Sensuality is all in the mind,’ Jade told them. ‘And to illustrate this, I’ve brought along a treat for you today.’ She took something from her bag. It was a DVD.
‘A porno movie!’ Kate said sarcastically, and Reenie looked taken aback.
Jade wheeled the television set over from the edge of the hall. ‘No, Kate,’ she said patiently, ‘not a porno movie; an erotic film.’
‘Porn,’ Kate mouthed silently to Janet and Reenie.
Jade put the DVD into the machine. ‘Now I want you to rid your minds of all negative thoughts about erotica. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t only long distance lorry drivers who watch it. In my opinion erotic films have, or should have, a place in everybody’s sex lives.’
The DVD began to play. Janet, who had never watched such a film in her life, felt a frisson of excitement. The film opened with an idyllic tropical beach with lapping waves and palm trees gently swaying in the breeze. Then a luxurious yacht came into view, with the film title superimposed over the top – The Captain’s Mate. Either side of her, Reenie sniggered and Kate snorted. But Janet…well, Janet felt that initial frisson stirring into something more, and, unconsciously sat forward in her seat so she wouldn’t miss anything.
The camera was swooping towards the yacht now, picking out the figure of a young woman who was standing looking out to sea, her long hair blowing gently around her shoulders. Suddenly a dolphin leapt out of the water close to the boat, bringing an expression of joy to the woman’s face. As she laughed out loud with the joy of it, the camera panned back to reveal a man watching her as he coiled a long rope. Naked from the waist up, he was muscular and deeply tanned, his dark, curly hair making him look like a pirate.
As the woman remained transfixed by the dolphins, the man began to move stealthily closer to her, holding the rope in both hands. The woman gave no sign that she knew he was there, and the music became suddenly sinister and urgent. He was nearly at her side; surely she would notice him before it was too late? Suddenly the man put the loop of rope over the woman’s head until it was beneath her breasts. She gave a token squeal, but as he tugged her back against his body, she submitted. And when he slid his hand beneath her sarong, she closed her eyes and spread her legs invitingly.
Kate gave another one of her mocking snorts, but Janet licked her lips, staring at the movement of the woman’s sarong as the man caressed her beneath it. The woman was whimpering now, the dolphins forgotten.
‘Georgio,’ she breathed. ‘Oh, Georgio…’
Janet didn’t blame her. The man was smiling wickedly. He was gorgeous.
‘You like?’ he enquired lazily in a sexy Italian accent.
‘Oh yes,’ the woman said. ‘Yes…’
‘You want to show Georgio how much you like?’ he said, and the woman turned, pouting up at Georgio provocatively as she unclipped her bikini top.
As the woman’s breasts were exposed in all their thirty-six double D glory to Georgio’s gaze, Janet was so absorbed she didn’t realise at first that the sudden sound of voices wasn’t a part of the film.
But when Jade quickly stood up, pressing a button on the remote control to stop the film, Janet suddenly realised there were three other people in the room with them – the caretaker, the vicar and… Ray.
‘Ray!’ Janet stood up, instinctively clutching at her chest just as if she’d been the one exposing her breasts in the film. Ray’s expression was both accusing and triumphant at the same time. As for the vicar, he was open-mouthed and red-faced with shock, outrage or both.
Janet couldn’t meet his gaze. But she was uncomfortably aware of him absorbing the leopard skin throws, the Kama Sutra painting and, worst of all, the DVD, paused at the moment when Georgio’s tongue had just made contact with one of the woman’s erect nipples.
‘There!’ Ray was saying to the vicar. ‘You didn’t want to believe it, but I told you this was what was going on. Filth! Utter filth!’
In the circumstances, Jade’s expression was very calm. ‘Gentlemen,’ she said. ‘How can I help you?’
‘Is that your husband?’ Reenie whispered to Janet, and Janet could only nod miserably. She wanted the parquet floor to open up and swallow her whole.
‘Miss…Miss…’ the vicar stuttered to Jade.
‘Gate,’ Jade said smoothly. ‘My name is Jade Gate.’
‘Miss Gate, I cannot believe my own eyes!’ the vicar went on, as Ray stood there, nodding in agreement beside him, hands on hips. ‘That you could think it an appropriate use of the church hall to show such… such…’ He broke off, words failing him, his confused gaze moving from Jade to Janet and finally on to Bill Black. ‘Did you know this was happening, Mr Black?’ he asked.
‘No, Vicar!’ Bill Black replied quickly, looking flustered. ‘The booking was for a women’s health course!’
Ray’s sarcastic grunt sounded a lot like Kate’s had earlier on. ‘Prescribing pornography on the National Health now are they?’ he said.
The vicar looked at him irritably. ‘Yes, yes, thank you, Mr Thornton,’ he said. ‘I’ll deal with this now.’
‘That wasn’t pornography,’ Jade said calmly. ‘It was erotica. But that’s a good point actually; I’m sure we’d all have a lot fewer health problems if erotica were something we could get a prescription for.’
Reenie gave a hastily stifled laugh. Even Kate was grinning. The vicar’s face deepened a shade from magenta to beetroot.
‘I’m sorry, Miss Gate,’ he said, ‘but I cannot sanction the use of this hall for such purposes. I’m afraid you and your er…’ His gaze swept over them all and lingered slightly longer on Janet, ‘…students will have to find alternative premises in future.’
Ray looked at his wife. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘for one student there isn’t going to be any future. Come on, Janet. We’re going home. Now.’
Just as she had hesitated at the first workshop when Gwen had ordered her to leave, Janet hesitated now that it was Ray giving the orders.
‘Janet!’ Ray said again, but in the end it was the vicar’s obvious disapproval that made up her mind for her, and she picked her bag up from the floor.
‘I’m sorry, Jade,’ she said, ‘I’ll have to go.’
Jade smiled. ‘It’s all right, Janet,’ she said. Then, as Janet passed, she whispered something so that only she could hear. ‘Keep in touch with the others. They’ll tell you where to go in future.’
‘Come on, Janet,’ Ray told her bossily, and as she followed him from the hall, she was aware of the vicar watching her every step of the way. She would never be able to go to St Luke’s again.
Outside in the car park, she speeded up, anxious to get away from Ray.
‘You’ve only got yourself to blame, Janet,’ he said, trotting to keep up with her. ‘I told you to stop going to those classes.’
She paused, turning to look at him. ‘How did you know I was still going?’ she asked.
His smile was unpleasant. ‘Janet,’ he said, ‘we haven’t had oral sex since 1997. And even then, you didn’t ask for it!’
Janet dearly wanted to shout something to wipe that smug expression off his face. She wanted to hit him. She wanted… She wanted to be anyone other than dull, mousy Janet Thornton, too afraid to stand up to her husband.
‘Now,’ he said, sighing patiently, ‘get in your car like a good girl and go home.’
It was the jolt she wanted. ‘Why does it really bother you, Ray?’ she challenged him. ‘Me coming to these classes?’
‘Why does it bother me?’ he repeated, the patient expression vanishing. ‘Why does it bother me that half the town knows that my wife, my wife has been sneaking off to the church hall to watch dirty videos behind my back? The very fact that you have to ask the question shows how pathetic you are, Janet.’
And off he strode to his car, driving off with an angry squeal of tyres. Janet watched after him resentfully. She didn’t want to go home with her tail between her legs the way Ray wanted her to; she was far too full of restless energy for that. But neither could she go back into the hall while the vicar was there. Suddenly she thought of Estelle. Yes, she would go and see Estelle and fill her in on everything she’d just missed.
But when she arrived at her friend’s office, it was to discover that her Estelle was off sick.
‘Ms Morgan hasn’t been in all week,’ Estelle’s secretary told her.
‘Oh,’ said Janet, concerned. Somehow it didn’t seem very like Estelle to take time off sick. She must be really ill. But then why hadn’t she let Janet know?
A handsome, dark-haired man was just leaving some papers on the secretary’s desk. He looked at Janet. ‘I spoke to Estelle on the phone this morning,’ he told her. ‘She’s on the mend I think, but I’m sure she’d like to have a visitor.’
The man’s tones were warm and friendly. Janet decided she liked him. ‘I’ll go round to see her now,’ she said.
* * * * *
‘Estelle, it’s Janet. Can I come up?’
Estelle hesitated for a second, and then spoke into the entry phone. ‘Yes, OK,’ she said finally and pressed the buzzer to open the downstairs door. She hadn’t seen anybody at all since Mark had dropped her off after Monday’s meeting, but her cuts were healing now; or at least the outward ones. Her instinct was still to hide away, but she knew she would have to face the world again soon. She might just as well start with Janet.
But the minute her friend stepped into the apartment, Estelle realised it had been a big mistake to let her in. ‘Estelle! What on earth have you done to your face?’ Janet asked with a gushing concern that was just too much.
‘It’s nothing,’ she said coldly, but Janet didn’t take the hint.
‘Of course it isn’t nothing,’ she said. ‘You’re covered in cuts! Your hands as well! Oh, you poor thing!’
Tears filled Estelle’s eyes; tears she couldn’t cope with. She blinked them back furiously. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, OK?’ she said, and Janet, who had been moving quickly towards her, stopped in her tracks.
‘Well, all right,’ she said, ‘but…’
‘No buts.’ Estelle told her firmly. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She made an attempt at a smile. ‘How did you know I’d be here, anyway?’
‘I popped in to see you at work,’ Janet told her. ‘There was a very nice man there who told me you’d appreciate a visit.’
Mark. Crossing the line between helping and interfering. Again. He’d rung her several times since Monday. The first couple of times she hadn’t answered the phone, but then on Wednesday he’d mentioned a problem at work so she’d picked up. The problem had turned out to be something and nothing, an excuse for him to ask how she was. She had no idea why he even cared.
Estelle decided to change the subject. She could tell Janet was hurt that she wasn’t being more forthcoming, but she couldn’t help that. ‘How was today’s class?’ she asked, sitting down on one of the sofas.
Janet’s face cleared. She sat on the sofa opposite. ‘Well,’ she said dramatically, ‘that’s what I came to tell you. We were invaded!’
Listening to Janet’s tale, Estelle felt herself begin to relax a little. By the end of it, she was even smiling. ‘It isn’t funny,’ Janet protested, but Estelle could tell she was glad that the atmosphere between them had lightened. ‘We haven’t got anywhere to meet now, and even if Jade manages to sort somewhere else out, Ray’s not going to let me go.’
‘Well, stand up to him then!’ Estelle could have said. ‘Tell him where to get off!’ But she didn’t have the energy, so she kept quiet. Besides, Janet already knew what she thought about Ray anyway.
‘I know,’ Janet said ruefully, backing this belief up. ‘If I want to go anyway, I should just go.’
Estelle’s phone began to ring. Janet, who had been about to say something else, paused.
‘It’s all right,’ Estelle told her. ‘It’s probably only the office. I’m not going to answer it. Go on.’
‘Well,’ Janet said, ‘I was just going to say, I don’t even know why I’m going to the workshops anymore.’
Estelle’s voice filled the flat as the answer phone clicked into action. ‘Sorry I’m not here to take your call right now.’
‘I mean,’ Janet said over the voice, ‘at first it was partly for Ray, but after last weekend… Oh, that’s the other thing I wanted to tell you about!’
‘Leave your name, number and the time you rang, and I’ll get right back to you.’
‘You will never guess what happened the other night…’ Janet said.
The answer phone gave a beep, and suddenly RT’s voice filled the room. ‘Hi, Estelle, it’s me. Just wondering if you were free tonight? I’d love to see you. It’s been ages. I’ll try you on your mobile. Bye.’
Janet had stopped talking. She seemed frozen to the spot. ‘My God,’ she said.
Estelle’s mobile began to ring. Estelle reached for it and switched it off, looking at Janet with concern. ‘What is it?’ she asked.
But now Janet was looking across to one corner of the room. Estelle glanced round and saw her bag of golf clubs, which was propped against the wall where she’d left it after the last time she’d been to the golf club.
‘My God,’ Janet said again, and covered her mouth with her hands.
‘Janet?’ Estelle was worried now. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘All this time I thought your lover’s name was Artie,’ Janet said slowly. ‘A-R-T-I- E. I thought…I thought it was short for Arthur.’
‘No,’ Estelle said, confused. ‘It’s RT. R-T. I’ve got no idea what his name is. That’s what everyone calls him down at the golf club.’
‘Raymond Thornton,’ Janet told her, picking up her handbag and heading towards the door. ‘It stands for Raymond Thornton.’
And then she left.
Twenty-seven
It was the day of the college record-breaking trifle attempt. Kate was inside one of the kitchens super-vising jelly production and fruit chopping. Geoff was outside in the car park with the media, simultaneously being interviewed and keeping an eye on the custard mixture that was being prepared in the brand new cement mixer lorry borrowed especially from a sponsor for the occasion.
Kate could see Geoff out of the kitchen window. He was totally in his element in front of the local TV station cameras, the giant boy’s toy rotating beside him, a walkie-talkie shoved in the pocket of his overalls.
‘Project Control to Jelly Production. Over.’ He’d used the walkie-talkie to summon her earlier on, his voice crackling from the walkie-talkie he’d allocated to her and which she’d slung on the side somewhere. She’d wanted to ignore him, but there were students with her and he wasn’t about to shut up.
‘Project Control to Jelly Production. Over.’
‘Yes, Geoff,’ she’d said, emphasising his name. There was no way she was going to call him Project Control. It was just too tragic.
‘What’s your best estimate for jelly setting, Jelly Production? Over.’
‘Oh,’ she said airily. ‘An hour or so; give or
take.’
‘Thirteen hundred hours?’ came the crackly voice. ‘Repeat for confirmation, please, Jelly Production. Was that thirteen hundred hours? Over.’
Kate clenched her teeth. ‘Give or take,’ she said, refusing to use the appropriate call signs as he’d instructed her to.
‘Copy that, Jelly Production. Project Control over and out.’
Geoff was well and truly up himself, and in other circumstances, Kate would have been taking the piss out of him big time. But these weren’t other circumstances. A week had gone by since he’d asked her out on a date, a week in which she and Geoff had avoided each other wherever possible, or spoken to each other like polite strangers when it wasn’t.
‘What is it with you two?’ Tom asked after Kate had turned down an invitation for a pint and a game of pool. ‘When I invited Geoff he wanted to know if you were going or not, and now you’re saying you won’t go because you know he’s coming. I thought you were supposed to be mates.’
The knowledge that Geoff didn’t want to spend time with her hurt, even though she didn’t want to spend time with him. ‘Geoff moved the goalposts,’ she told Tom.
Tom looked exasperated. ‘So the man asked you out,’ he said.
Kate looked at him. ‘He told you?’
Tom nodded. ‘Yeah, he told me,’ he said. ‘And so what? Geoff’s a nice guy. You could do a lot worse.’
‘I don’t want to do worse!’ Kate protested. ‘Or better. I don’t want to do anything at all! He’s ruined everything.’
‘No,’ Tom said. ‘You’re ruining everything. By being so…so flippin’ female!’
Kate was outraged. ‘What?’ she said, but Tom was already walking away, being utterly male and refusing to explain himself. That had been two days ago, and things were still no better now. Kate was feeling so mad with Geoff she wanted to hoik him up in front of the TV cameras and shove him feet first into the cement mixer.
A student interrupted her fantasies. ‘Miss, there’s no more oranges left.’
The Goddess Workshop Page 22