“What?” This was too much—especially to be discussing naked in bed. Her robe still hung on the bathroom door, and she got out of bed to get it, pulling the belt tight before she faced Matt again.
Matt seemed unfazed. He had that same look he wore when they argued politics, although there was concern mixed with the challenge this time. “You talk a good game, Ella, but I’m not buying it.”
This entire conversation was getting out of hand. “Why is it that women are said to have ‘abandonment issues’ or ‘commitment issues,’ but men get to be ‘fiercely independent’? Men can be career driven, but if a woman is, there must be something wrong with her?”
“Don’t skew the subject.”
Her head was starting to hurt, and she’d now had enough. “I don’t think we know each other well enough to have this discussion.”
“Bull. I think we do.”
That’s it. “Just stop. Stop talking. I’ve had all the psychobabble I can handle at two in the morning.” She turned on her heel and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“The couch. Thanks for the offer to help, but I think it’s just midnight melancholy caused by the move and I’ll be better sleeping it off. Go back to sleep, Matt.”
“El—”
She closed the door behind her and sighed as she sank onto the couch. She pulled an afghan around her to keep the chill at bay. Eyes closed, she leaned her head on the armrest and took deep breaths, trying to calm her temper before she really exploded. She shouldn’t get all worked up over Matt’s need to crawl inside her head, but it was easier said than done. Not that he was completely wrong, but, damn, it was annoying.
“Do you want me to leave?”
She opened one eye to see Matt, wearing only his boxers, leaning against the door frame to the living room. “Do you want to?”
“Not really.” Matt cocked his head and smiled at her. “But you sleeping on the couch kind of defeats the purpose of me being here.”
What was left of her pique was dissipating fast. Why couldn’t she stay annoyed with him? “You’re right, you should be the one on the couch.”
He joined her there, lifting her legs as he sat and draping them across his lap. “My brother Lewis is a therapist. I guess more of it has rubbed off than I thought.”
“So we can stop this now?”
He laughed. “Lewis says I have an overinflated need to problem solve, and when I do, I am overbearing and lack subtlety.”
No doubt. “You know, Lewis might be onto something there.”
“Yes, but it makes me a good lawyer.” He rubbed warm hands over her calves. “Now, either kick me out or come back to bed.”
It was a close call. Not because she wanted him to leave, but because it would be much easier in the long run if she did. But she couldn’t bring herself to say the magic words, since deep down, she really wanted him to stay. Once again rational thought got kicked to the curb, and she allowed Matt to lead her back to bed where, in typical annoying male fashion, he was back asleep in minutes. She, on the other hand, found sleep as elusive as ever.
Matt mumbled and rolled to his side, spooning around her. The warm arms made her feel safe. Cared for. She waited for the sense of claustrophobia to set in, the mild panic and need to get away that always came. Nothing.
Nothing except a squishy sense of contentment that relaxed her.
This wasn’t good.
CHAPTER SIX
“TELL me about your brothers.”
Matt looked up from the photograph he was wrapping in newsprint. “Why?”
“Because I’m curious about your family. You don’t talk about them much.”
He shrugged. “My family is large, loud and, thankfully, lives many, many miles from me.”
“Be serious.”
“I am.”
She waited as he placed the photo in a box and closed the top. Matt talked about his family only in passing, and she had to admit to a burning curiosity about them. After all, he’d lied to his family in order to spend the week with her, yet when he did mention them, she heard a fondness in his voice that indicated there wasn’t some kind of serious rift there. “Well?” she prodded when he didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what to tell you. They’re just my family. Anyway, you seem to know quite a bit about them already.”
“All I know is what Brian has told Melanie and that Melanie then mentioned to me.”
“Melanie needs to worry about the family she just married into, if you ask me,” Matt grumbled.
She swatted him on the arm, and he rubbed it in mock pain. “I happen to like Brian’s family. Melanie’s, too. Now I’m curious about yours.”
“And again, I ask why?”
“We have to talk about something, don’t we?”
“Then how about baseball?”
“I’m not going to debate Cubs versus Sox with you.” She sighed. “I don’t have a family. I barely remember my mom and dad, and I don’t even know where my mom’s family is. Dad was an only child, so Gran and Gramps were the only family I had growing up. The idea of having a large family just…” Whoa. That was a lot more information than she normally shared, and she wasn’t sure what had brought on that revelation. She cleared her throat. “Meeting Melanie’s family was quite a shock, and it’s not even that big.”
“Meeting Brian’s must have been a real eye-opener, then.”
“Brian’s family is like something out of a movie. Since y’all are from the same neighborhood, I just wondered if yours was like his or not.” She shrugged. “But if you don’t want to talk about them, I’ll respect that.”
“You’ll ‘respect’ that?” He laughed.
“Of course.” She put on her sweetest smile and best Southern accent. “Unlike some people, I don’t push others to tell me details they don’t wish to share or pry into things that aren’t my business.”
He snorted. “I can tell you’re not from a big family. Pushing and prying are part of the deal.”
She continued to smile at him until he rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. We’ll talk about my family.”
Matt continued to wrap knickknacks as he talked, explaining family dynamics in a way she’d never thought about before. While it was obvious his family irritated and annoyed him and he had a slew of complaints stemming from being the youngest child, it was equally obvious that he cared deeply about his entire extended family and remained close—at least emotionally if not physically—to his brothers and parents.
That explained a lot about Matt’s attitude toward life. He had a safety net. He didn’t need to worry about “what might happen if…” It was easy to not be a control freak when someone else had your back.
“Hell, El, you did ask.”
She tuned back in to see Matt’s exasperated look. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You’re the one who wanted to talk about my family, but then you space out?”
“Your family sounds great.”
“They’d like you, too. If I wouldn’t give my mom a heart attack showing up at the house after telling her I was going back to Atlanta, I’d take you to meet them. My dad has a thing for Southern accents and my mom is a great cook. In short spells and small groupings, they’re really quite tolerable.”
She shifted uncomfortably at the thought of meeting his family. That wasn’t part of the plan. She quickly changed direction. “You know, I’m feeling guilty for keeping you here instead of letting you spend time with them.”
Newsprint scattered as Matt closed the space between them. “Ah, but you’re far more interesting than my family. Better-looking, too.” He punctuated his words with a kiss that curled her toes.
Lifting his head, he looked around the living room. “Well, this room is pretty much done, so what say we take a break?”
She followed his gaze around the room. Books still lined the bookshelves and sat in crooked piles. Photos and knickknacks—mostly belonging to Melanie—still needed to be wrapped and packed. �
�This room is nowhere near done.”
“Close enough.” He nuzzled her neck. “And after moving all that furniture earlier, I really need a shower. Care to join me?”
Visions of a wet, soapy Matt blinded her, and she giggled as he hauled her to her feet and tugged her in the direction of the bathroom. She shimmied out of her jeans as Matt turned the water on.
“You have the smallest shower in the city. It’s going to be a tight fit.”
“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing to me,” she answered as she stepped in and pulled the shower curtain closed. Only inches separated them.
Matt moved her under the shower spray and traced the water rivulets over her breasts with his finger. “You’re right. Not bad at all.”
Grabbing the bar of soap, she built up a handful of lather and smoothed suds across Matt’s chest. The look that crossed his face as he reached for her promised this would be the best shower of her life.
Granted, at this rate, she’d never get the apartment packed in time, but for once she wasn’t going to let her plans get in the way of her pleasure.
Somehow everything got packed, and she was ready when the moving men arrived Friday morning. The flurry of activity caused by four men traipsing through her apartment and loading her life onto a truck kept her busy and her mind off what all the activity meant.
But after the moving truck left, the apartment felt lifeless. Aside from the few boxes and some furniture left for Melanie’s brothers to pick up and take to Brian’s, every room felt empty and echoing. Ella sat against the living-room wall with Matt, approximately where her couch used to be, eating the last real Chicago dog she’d have for quite a while.
She concentrated on her food, enjoying the taste and textures, because if her mind wandered for more than a second, tears began to burn behind her eyes. Ella kept telling herself it was the move and not the complication of the man sitting next to her.
Occasionally she almost believed herself.
Matt had been unusually quiet all morning, and for the first time since they’d met, conversation seemed stilted. Maybe that was a good thing—a sign that they’d run their course and the goodbyes would be easier. The goodbyes were not something she was looking forward to this time.
“You know, Atlanta’s not that far from Fort Morgan.”
She swallowed the last bite before she answered. “Like seven hours.”
“Or an hour by plane.”
Ella gathered up the garbage and took a last swallow of her drink. “I thought we’d covered this already. We agreed it only went this far—any further wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Matt eased over into her space, pushing her slowly to the floor. One leg captured hers and he twirled a lock of hair around his finger. Ella flashed back to the first night he’d been in her apartment, and they’d been in almost the exact same position in this same place on the floor. Except last time, there’d been a rug between her and the hardwood.
“I beg to differ. I didn’t agree to anything of the sort.”
“What happened to ‘you’ll go on with your life and I’ll go back to mine’?”
“Ahh, the words of a man trying to have his cake and eat it, too. That was before I got used to you, Ella. You’re addictive.”
Her heart slammed into her chest at his words. This was going to be much harder than she’d thought. So much for not getting messy. In fact, this was getting messier by the minute. She tried to keep her voice light. “Still, Atlanta’s a little far for me to come for a booty call.”
Matt’s eyes hardened, and his mouth tightened a tiny bit in what she recognized now as disappointment. But to her surprise, he let her comment go. “My firm gets tickets to all the best shows. And they’re not lousy seats, either. REM is playing next month—why don’t you come up for a few days?”
He’d teased her endlessly about her obsession with them, and between the allure of tickets and the promising movement of his hips, the temptation was almost overwhelming. “I don’t think my new employers would appreciate me taking a few days off just weeks after I start.”
In one swift motion her shirt was whisked over her head. Matt’s lips landed on her collarbone, making her rethink his proposal as he worked the snap on her jeans. “Priorities, El,” he mumbled as his mouth sought hers. His hands moved with amazing efficiency, unhooking her bra, sliding her jeans over her hips, and in moments her bare skin touched the cool floor.
Once she was naked, though, Matt’s movements slowed and his hands worked slow, agonizing magic over her skin. This was no last quickie for the road, and as always he was able to remove her ability to think rationally. She quit trying and gave over to the sensation of his body against hers.
Her skin was on fire from his touch, and she was seconds from begging when he finally thrust into her. She arched, pleasure rocketing through her, and she locked her legs around his waist, ready for him to take her the rest of the way.
Matt stilled and she reached for his hips. This was no time for him to tease—she was too close, too needy. When he didn’t move, she opened her eyes to find him staring intently at her. Those chocolate eyes pinned her, and her stomach clenched.
“This isn’t over, Ella.”
With that statement his mouth closed over hers, and he moved in her with deep strokes that caused stars to explode behind her eyelids. Pleasure crashed against the shock of his words, and she fought to make sense of the feeling. Matt groaned her name into her ear, and the response that rocketed through her brought a clarity that both excited and terrified her.
He’d said it wasn’t over.
It had to be.
“I’ve got to go, Matt.” Ella wiggled out of his embrace and glanced at her watch. “I’m serious this time.”
She’d been saying that for the past two hours, but she hadn’t made any real progress for the door. While he knew she had a long drive ahead of her, he’d been reluctant to see her go and tried every stalling technique he could think of to keep her from leaving. The empty hours between now and his flight tomorrow loomed, and he selfishly wanted Ella to stay as long as possible.
Ella seemed to mean it this time as she pulled on socks and shoes, keeping a careful distance between them the whole time. Defeated in his attempt to stall her, he buttoned his shirt and reached for his shoes.
He stood, then extended a hand to pull her to her feet. Silence settled over them, and she shifted uncomfortably.
“Well, um, okay.” She took a deep breath. “I guess that’s everything. Just leave the keys at Brian’s, and that’ll take care of the apartment.”
“No problem.” Ella wouldn’t meet his eyes, and that bothered him. “Do you have your cell?”
She sighed. “Yes. And my Triple-A card. I’m a big girl, Matt. I can handle this.”
“I know. It’s just such a long drive.” He didn’t like the thought of her making it alone. “Has your car been checked out? Oil? Tires?”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Sighing dramatically, Ella turned on her heel and headed for the stairs.
He was right behind her. “Seriously. Has it been looked over?”
Ella made it to her car before he caught up with her. She still wouldn’t answer him, so he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his hip against the driver’s door, making it impossible for her to open it. She tried several times anyway. His size did give him an advantage when it came to dealing with her.
“Ella? Did you get this car checked out?”
“I swear. Do you really think I’m an idiot?” She looked at him pointedly, but when he still wouldn’t budge, she conceded. “Be that way. Yes, Matt, I did. Just last week it got a full going-over. At your brother’s shop, I might add.” Her eyebrows went up in challenge.
That mollified him some. Josh wouldn’t let her go on the road if the car wouldn’t make it.
“Satisfied?”
Not by a long shot. But he shifted his weight off the car’s door so she could open it and toss her purse inside. He half expe
cted her to jump in and roar off, but she leaned against the car and studied him, squinting against the afternoon sun.
Ella zipped her jacket and stuck her hands in the pockets. “So this is it.”
“I guess so.”
“You made this week bearable for me, and I don’t know how to thank you for that.”
“Then don’t.” He didn’t want her gratitude. He opened his arms, and she walked into them without hesitation. That was more like it.
With her head pressed into his chest, her voice was muffled. “I just don’t know how to say goodbye.”
The finality in her voice caught him off guard. “You make it sound so permanent,” he said carefully.
“Honestly, Matt, I think it is.”
He kept his voice even. “Why?”
“Be realistic.”
Ella was complicated, but he’d figured out a lot about her over the past week. She had issues—some ran pretty deep—but he could respect that. God knew he had a few of his own, but he’d never met anyone like her before and wasn’t willing to just pretend the past week never happened.
But she couldn’t wait for him to be just a reflection in her rearview mirror. Not exactly a big boost to his ego.
He chose his words with care. He didn’t want to spook her. “It’s unrealistic that we could be friends?”
Ella sighed. “Not necessarily unrealistic. Just really complicated.”
She had a point there. “Yeah, well, Atlanta is—”
“‘Only an hour away.’ I know.” Ella laughed and leaned back to look at him. “But I actually meant Melanie.”
Of all the possible “complications,” Melanie had never crossed his mind. “What does Melanie have to do with anything?”
“I don’t want Mel to know about us. What happened this week, I mean. Unless you want Mel planning your wedding with or without your consent, it’s best she not know we hooked up. She’s gotten very self-righteous in her old age, you know.”
“You’re an adult, Ella. You don’t need Mel’s permission.”
“Yes, but messy won’t even begin to describe…”
“If that’s the only issue, it’s easily enough solved. Don’t tell her.”
The Secret Mistress Arrangement Page 7