Which meant I’d have to be strong enough to wait. Strong enough to stand back and let her strive to be the person she wanted to be and take her life to the next level, just like I had. Hell, I’d never regret the choice I made to leave back then—I was stronger now because of it. Chloe needed that too.
So, I wouldn’t chase her.
But I would wait.
I’d wait because I felt the change in Chloe last night when we made love.
When we made love.
Huh. I had never called it making love before, but that was exactly what we had done. We didn’t just fuck; it was more than that. And words didn’t need to be spoken from her lips for me to hear them loud and clear. I could feel her words in every touch, see them in every expression she tried so hard to hide.
She loved me. How could I have missed that? And I loved her. Neither of us said it, but on some level we both knew. I was an idiot to have doubted it for even a second.
This wasn’t the end for us; it was the beginning. And I had every intention of seeing this story through.
If I ever saw Maya again, I’d thank her. Because without her, I would’ve never seen beyond the pain of Chloe’s rejection. I’d have to let Chloe go for now because that’s what she needed me to do.
But I would never give up on her.
Chapter Three
~Chloe~
The moment I stepped outside and breathed in the fresh, icy air, I remembered that Matt had driven me to his house. Which meant I had no car of my own to get home.
Shit.
I stuffed my hands into my coat pockets, tucked my chin down into my coat collar, and began to walk through the brisk winter air, passing the same neighbors I had observed through Matt’s bedroom window less than twenty minutes ago. Now that their snowman was finished, the father and his children were on their backs in the snow, staring up at the gray sky with smiles on their faces and laughter in their voices as they swept their arms and legs back and forth, making snow angels.
“Hot cocoa is ready!” A woman called out from the front door.
The children squealed in delight at their mother’s announcement and scrambled into the house, oblivious to the frothy spray of snow they sent their father’s way as they passed by. He brushed himself off as he made his way to the house, beaming at his laughing wife as he pulled her close. “Oh, you think that’s funny, do you—”
I didn’t realize I had stopped walking and had started gawking at them until the mother’s gaze caught mine and her husband turned to see what had captured her attention. When our eyes met, she gave me a warm smile and called out, “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”
He planted a smacking kiss on her forehead and grinned down at her before venturing back into the house. With her husband and kids warming up inside, she paused with the storm door open, waiting for my response.
Something about her smile comforted me.
Something about her serene disposition soothed me.
Something about her optimistic nature put me completely at ease.
This perfect stranger’s demeanor somehow reached deep inside me and made me feel the way my own mother used to make me feel whenever I was hurt or insecure.
In this moment of utter devastation after saying goodbye to the person who meant the most to me, this woman made me feel…hopeful…even if her happiness did make my heart ache just a little.
As I glanced down at the family of snow angels, then up to the cloudy sky, I wondered if, after everything that had happened this morning, I could truly believe that the world still held some beauty.
My gaze drifted up to Matt’s bedroom window, which stood empty. Part of me had hoped he would be standing there, watching me…waiting for me to come back to tell him I had made a mistake.
But I hadn’t made a mistake.
And we both knew it.
When I saw that he wasn’t there, a familiar loneliness crept into my heart. But unlike all the other times, it didn’t level me with paralyzing fear or anxiety. I didn’t feel compelled to take drastic measures to drive it away. Because even though it was over between us, Matt had given me something during the time we had spent together. Something that had been missing from my life since the day I caught my sister with Ryan.
Matt had given me the confidence to finally believe in myself, to believe that I could have the life he thought I deserved. A life that included respect, dreams, goals. And maybe someday, I’d even be ready for love. Ready for him.
“Yeah,” I slowly nodded to the woman, offering her a smile of my own. “I suppose it is.”
She smiled a goodbye, and I mirrored the expression just before she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
I continued my walk down the block, trying to estimate how long it would take me to walk home. An hour, maybe? The streets had been plowed, but only about half of the sidewalks had been shoveled. So maybe an hour and a half, give or take.
Damn.
I sighed, bracing myself for the long, cold trek home. The air was still, but freezing. As my ears started to sting and my nose began to drip, I thanked God that I had opted for boots instead of high heels yesterday.
I hadn’t gone far before I heard a car approaching from behind. I cast a discreet glance to the side as it slowed down to match my walking pace, the passenger-side window rolling down.
“Get in,” a woman said tersely.
What the hell? Was she talking to me? I cautiously turned to face her to find out. Yep, her baby blue eyes were staring right at me.
“Excuse me?”
She leaned over the console of the maroon SUV, her tight brown curls pulled up into a high ponytail, a few wisps covering her forehead. Her friendly eyes smiled as she spoke, “Look, your boyfriend wants you to have a ride home. What do you say we give him what he wants?”
“Uh…excuse me?” I repeated.
She laughed, “I’m your Uber driver, hon. I’m not here to argue with you. If you accept this ride, you’ll get a warm drive home, and I’ll get a tip that will pay my phone bill. I could use the cash and since I can hear your teeth chattering from here, it’s obvious that you could use the ride. Are you in?”
I looked up at Matt’s empty bedroom window and smiled. He had every right to hate me, but he didn’t. He still cared. God, I loved him.
“Yeah,” I said, swallowing back tears. “Absolutely, I’m in.”
After I slid into the front seat, I fastened my seat belt and raised my hands up to the air vents in the dash, practically moaning as the warm, toasty air worked its magic. As she pulled away from the curb, she took a hand off the wheel just long enough for a quick handshake.
“Hi, I’m Carrie.”
“Chloe. Nice to meet you,” I replied, shaking her hand and settling in for the drive home.
Her eyes twinkled as she said with a grin, “And thank you for choosing Uber…”
“It’s not like I really had a choice,” I whispered, painfully aware of the car moving farther and farther away from Matt’s house.
“Oh,” she said serenely as she changed lanes, “there’s always a choice.”
Life’s most defining moments often happen without fanfare, their life-altering impact neither apparent nor appreciated until much later. So it was with Carrie, my wise Uber driver who would go on to become my closest friend.
Chapter Four
~Chloe~
Carrie and I hit it off from that first car ride. From her witty humor to her brutal honesty, everything about her was authentic—a quality I loved. In that first moment when I could think of nothing but the look on Matt’s face when I left, she found a way to distract me without even trying.
During the twenty-minute ride home, I learned that she was the single mother of a ten-year-old girl, and was struggling to make ends meet.
“Wow,” I said when she divulged that bit of information. “You look way too young to have a ten-year-old.”
“I’m twenty-seven. I was sixteen when I got pregnant, and sevente
en when I had my daughter,” she explained. “Her father and I married when I was eighteen. Some people tried to convince us we were too young to get married, but we were happy. So happy.” With a faraway look in her eyes, she added wistfully, “I loved him so much.”
“Is he not in the picture now?” I asked, immediately covering my mouth, embarrassed at my intrusion. “I’m sorry,” I added. “Sometimes I don’t have a filter. It’s none of my business. You don’t have to answer that.”
She smiled, “It’s okay, really. I don’t mind at all. Nolan was a police officer. He died in the line of duty two years ago. It’s been just me and Piper ever since.”
“What about your parents? Do they help?”
“They live across the country,” she answered, seemingly unfazed by my questions. “They’ve been asking me to move back home so they can help me, but I just can’t bring myself to rip Piper away from her school or the friends that she’s grown to love, just to make my life easier. She’s lost enough already, you know?”
“Yeah. I do,” I whispered.
After a pause, she softly asked, “Want to talk about it?”
“No,” I replied. “I’m so sorry. I’m wasn’t trying to compare my situation to yours. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes.”
She nodded, eyes on the road. “But you know what it’s like…to lose someone. Am I right?”
I pressed my lips together tightly, afraid that if I spoke, the floodgates would open and I’d let out all the anguish I’d been holding in. With tears stinging my eyes, I simply nodded.
“I understand,” she acknowledged. “You don’t have to tell me anything. Hell, you barely know me. But I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.”
For a complete stranger, she had an incredible way of making me feel at ease. But I just couldn’t tell her about Matt. That story was too fresh—the wound too raw. But I did entrust her with the story of my parents and my sister, and my tendency to use sex as a self-destructive coping skill. I shared more with her than I had shared with anyone in a long time—other than Matt. I hadn’t confided in another woman like this since my sister’s betrayal. It felt liberating to tell my story…to say it out loud to a girl who’d listen. Not to mention one who listened without judgment.
The conversation was therapeutic for both of us. It reminded me of the talks I used to have with my sister before my relationship with her fell apart. And I had a feeling that Carrie felt the same way. By the time she pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building, it seemed like we’d known each other for years, and something prompted me to write down my phone number on a scrap of paper I found in my pocket.
Like me, she was alone.
Like me, her heart had been broken.
As I handed it to her, I said, “If you ever need help with anything, or if you just need a break, call me. I’m happy to help in any way I can.”
She took it and nodded, “Thanks, Chloe.” She opened her mouth to say something else but changed her mind at the last minute, politely smiling instead.
“What?” I asked.
She sighed, handing the piece of paper back to me. “Here. I really appreciate the gesture, but—I know I’m not going to call you for help. To be totally honest, I’m way too stubborn for that. My responsibilities are my own. My daughter is my life and I love her more than anything. Sure, it can be hard sometimes, but my obligations aren’t a burden to me like they would be to someone else. To me, they’re a privilege. It was a nice thought, though. Thank you for that.”
I nodded in understanding, “Well, then, how about you just call me when you want to have a girls’ night out?” I paused, realizing that she may not have anyone to watch her daughter if she went out. “Or a girls’ day in. You, me, and Piper. We could paint our nails and drink mimosas or something equally girly. Well, maybe mimosas for us and kiddie cocktails for her.”
She smiled, considering the idea, then plucked the slip of paper from my hand. “I may just take you up on that. Sounds like fun.”
~~~
A week later, Carrie called. She and Piper came to my apartment with the most delicious brownies I’d ever tasted. Piper was the spitting image of her mother except for her straight hair, which, I learned, she got from her dad. Our afternoon consisted of nail painting, drink sipping, brownie eating, and laughter.
The three of us grew closer after that, spending more and more time together. It even got to the point where Carrie felt comfortable asking me to watch Piper while she took Uber requests. And although I wouldn’t take any money from her because I truly enjoyed spending time with Piper, Carrie always repaid me with homemade goodies. Cookies, cupcakes, you name it. The woman had a natural gift for making deliciously sweet confections of all kinds. I couldn’t help but indulge and it showed in my new-and-improved curves. I had dropped some weight after all the Brynn-Ryan drama, so it was good to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
My clubbing nights were a thing of the past. The need to use men and alcohol to fill the hollow place inside me vanished as if it had never been. No doubt about it, being with Matt had forever changed me. My short time with him had filled me with something that had been missing, something that my hedonistic vices could never quite reach. He gave me a reason to care…about life. About others. About myself. He gave me the confidence to be my best self but to not need someone else’s approval. He made me think about my own future, on my own terms.
I never stopped missing him or wishing things between us could’ve been different. I thought about him all the time. Not being with him hurt. But he had given me the strength to push through the hurt and keep moving forward. For me. For him.
Two months after meeting Carrie, I came home from working a shift at Luciano’s to find an eviction notice taped to my door. The owner had declared bankruptcy, and the apartment complex had gone into foreclosure with the bank taking over ownership. The notice from the bank said I had thirty days to move out.
Great.
The old me would’ve panicked. The old me may have even had an anxiety attack, or gone out prowling for a man to distract me for a few hours. But while the news did briefly upset me, I had enough confidence to know that I could handle it. I had a few hundred dollars saved that I could use for the move, and even if I couldn’t find the perfect apartment, there had to be something out there, even if it would be temporary.
The next morning, I met Carrie at The Roasted Bean House, a local coffee shop, for a late breakfast. Piper had spent the night attending her classmate’s sleepover birthday party, which meant Carrie would have to leave to pick her up soon.
After eating, we sipped our coffees and searched for apartments. She used her phone to search apartments.com, while I searched Craigslist on mine. After inquiring about several of the properties we’d found, we discovered flaws with each and every one of them. Carrie finally looked up from her phone and said, “I’ve got an idea.”
“Does it include me living in my car?” I interjected flatly. My new-found optimism was starting to wear thin. “Because I think that’s what I might have to do for a while. I mean, as long as I can find somewhere to take a shower until I find a place, I can rent a storage area for my stuff and—”
“Chloe, stop it,” she objected. “You’re not going to live in your car. Listen, there’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, since before I even met you. With your eviction, I really think it would be the perfect solution for both of us.”
Curious, I raised my brows. “What is it?”
“Look, it’s no secret that even with my bakery job and Uber, I still struggle to meet my bills every month. I know it’s unrealistic to think that I can live in my house forever, but I just haven’t been able to give up on it yet. I mean, it’s the house that Nolan and I bought together when we got married. It’s the only home Piper’s ever known. I can’t take it away from her yet, and to be honest, I’m not ready to lose it either. So, a few months ago, I came up with th
e idea to get a roommate to help with the bills. I posted an ad online and interviewed a bunch of women, but none of them felt—I don’t know—right. I didn’t feel comfortable having any of them living in the same house as my daughter. So, I gave up on the idea and started putting in more Uber hours instead.”
She bowed her head and sighed. When she looked back up at me, her eyes had glossed over. “The thing is,” she continued, “my working so much is affecting Piper. Her grades are slipping again, just like they did when she lost her dad. The light in her eyes is fading, too, just like it did then. She’s regressing, and I know it’s all my fault for not being there for her when she needs me most. We’ve done a lot of healing in the last two years, but if I can’t be a stronger presence in her life, then we could lose all the progress we’ve made together.”
My heart hurt for her. I knew exactly what Piper was going through. I had gone through the same thing with my sister when my parents died. I don’t know how Brynn had found a way to be there for me and work to keep the house at the same time, but she did. In getting to know Carrie and the struggles she went through after the loss of her husband, I appreciated my sister’s sacrifices more than ever.
“So, long story short,” she resumed, a tear escaping down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away with an embarrassed laugh, “I would love for you to move in with us. Will you be my roommate? I mean, please don’t feel pressured. Only agree if you really want to.”
Warmth encircled my heart as I scooted out of my booth seat and slid next to Carrie, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her tightly.
“Yes,” I whispered, thankful that this wonderful woman and her daughter came into my life and so happy that she seemed to feel the same way about me. “Of course, I will.”
The Fragile Line: The Complete Series Box Set: Parts One, Two, & Three Page 24