Yep, I had cyberstalked Ava Davis. Google, Facebook, Wikipedia…the works. Only to find out she was perfect for Matt. The kind of woman he deserved. Someone he could be happy with.
I needed to let him be happy.
Reaching the elevator, I jabbed at the button again and again as if that would make the door open quicker. When I saw Matt closing in on me with a determined gleam in his eyes, I gave up on the elevator and dove for the stairwell instead. Pressing on the heavy metal door’s push-handle, I bulldozed through, immediately heading down the stairs, each click of my heels echoing against the concrete walls.
“Jesus, Chloe, stop!” Matt reached me just as I reached the next floor down. Grabbing my elbow, he turned me around and pushed my back against the wall. His palms slapped against the brick beside my shoulders, then he leaned in, resting his weight on his forearms. His sudden movement jolted me. Excited me. I was lost in the myriad emotions that crossed his face—anger, confusion, relief. I didn’t want to run anymore. I couldn’t run. Because every passing second we stared at each other, the more connected we became.
Both of us were panting from the chase, chests heaving as the world fell away, leaving nothing but…us. He was so close that I could feel his breath as it caressed my cheeks. The heat from his palms traveled from my shoulders straight to my toes. I had dreamt of being this close to him for months, and now that he was here, all logical reasoning had swiftly left the building. Not only did I not want him to let me go, I wanted him to do so much more than just pin me against a wall.
His right hand stroked my shoulder then traveled softly up my neck. As the backs of his fingers trailed over my jawline and into my hair, he seemed to study my reaction. I tried to keep my blatant longing for him at bay, even as he gently brushed a strand of hair away from my eye, tucking it behind my ear. His fingertip traced the shell of my ear, pulling a soft sigh from my lips. My eyelids felt heavy in response to his tender touch.
When I opened my eyes, his hungry gaze was locked on my lips. The pad of his thumb slowly, carefully, circled them, gently tugging on my bottom lip, causing my breath to hitch. My reaction to his touch didn’t go unnoticed.
“Fuck, Chlo,” he growled. In the next instant his mouth collided with mine, obliterating all thought, provoking my raw, carnal instinct that demanded I bring him even closer to me. Sliding my fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, I drew him in, pulling our bodies together, the cool, wet coffee that had spilled on his shirt bleeding through mine.
As he kissed my neck and nipped at my earlobe, I whispered, “You’re soaked.”
He was off me in a split second as he tore off his coat and dropped it to the floor. Grabbing his t-shirt from the back, he pulled it over his head in that way that only guys do. He used it to wipe the remaining coffee from his chest, then tossed it aside. I was laughing at his impulsive act when he crashed back into me, burying his face in my neck,.
“Soaked, huh?” he groaned as his mouth worked its way up my neck and tickled the sensitive spot behind my earlobe.
“You do realize we’re in public, right?” I asked, my voice raspy like I had just woken up. “Anyone could see us.”
“I don’t care,” he mumbled just before claiming my lips once again. “You missed me. That’s all that matters.”
The relief in his voice pulled at my heart even as the reality of his words, ‘You missed me’—a sharp reminder of the months that had passed and all that had happened during our time apart—pierced it. With the awareness of that reality came an unwelcome surge of common sense. Remembering that he wasn’t mine to kiss anymore, I reluctantly turned my face away and pushed against his chest – which was a mistake because all those thick, gorgeous muscles felt like heaven under my hands.
“Stop. Please. I don’t want this. Matt, we have to stop.”
With a growl, he complied, although he didn’t go far. He removed his lips from my skin, but his body was still pressed against mine, making it damn hard to hold on to any sort of willpower. I could see the hurt—the torment—in his eyes and it killed me.
But how could he want this—want me—when he was in love with someone else?
CHAPTER Nine
~Matt~
“Bullshit,” I protested as I scowled down at her.
She raised her brows as if I had just offended her. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” My determination to put a stop to our pointless separation was growing stronger by the second. “I call bullshit.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You don’t want to stop. And neither do I,” I groaned as I rolled my hips against her midsection, letting her feel the truth of my words. “I’ve played by your rules. I’ve given you space for the last few months, and it’s gotten us exactly nowhere. That shit stops today.”
With a sigh, I stepped back, taking her hands in mine. Maybe a softer approach was called for here. “So, tell me, Pink. Why are you so dead-set on fighting what we both want?”
“Because you have a girlfriend!” she shouted, her voice echoing in the stairwell. She yanked her hands out of mine and pushed me away again. Hard. “Yes, I want you right now. I think that’s obvious. And yes, I’ve felt completely empty since you left…I mean since I left you. I mean,” she stopped just long enough to stomp her foot and I gritted my teeth, determined to keep a straight face because I could see she was just getting warmed up.
“Shit! I know this is all my fault, okay? I fucked up. Again. Like I always do. But none of that matters now because I’m not going to be the other woman, Matt. I won’t be second best. Never again.”
I tried to hold in the laugh, I really did, but she was so damn adorable. She may have had a reputation for being a real sexpot, but the way her nose crinkled when she pouted and fumed like this, well... Yeah, fucking adorable. I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all—as if anyone would ever be more perfect for me.
“Why are you laughing?” She bit her lip, the hurt in her eyes physically squeezing at my heart. “Do you really think that little of me?”
My shoulders sagged and any urge to laugh disappeared. “No, no, not at all. I’m sorry, Chloe. I should’ve told you the second I saw you. But, you know, you do things to me. Things that make it impossible to think straight. I’m sorry, but one look at you and I forget my own damn name.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Should have told me what?”
“It’s fake. The whole thing. There is no ‘Ava and me’—we’re not together. We were never anything more than just friends.”
“But—you two are all over the internet. Every article I see talks about how great you are together. The news is everywhere—”
“All lies,” frustration boiled in my chest. “The paparazzi wouldn’t know the truth if it hit them over their heads with a socket wrench.”
Her eyes squinted, “So…you’re saying it’s just a publicity stunt?”
“Yeah, sort of. I wish it were that simple but things are more complicated than that. I wanted to tell you, but it didn’t seem like the kind of thing to share in a text, and you wouldn’t answer my calls.” Chloe had the good graces to look shamefaced at that, so I got right to the point. “I’m just her wingman, her cover. She’s in love with someone else.” I paused, wondering if now was the right time to speak the truth that I had been carrying around like a lead weight for months. Ah, fuck it. I was done waiting. Now was the best time. “And so am I.”
~Chloe~
Did he just say what I think he said? He’s in love with someone? Someone other than Ava? This was so much worse than I thought, and my heart ached in my chest all over again. My mind had wanted so badly to believe that he meant me. That he loved me.
But my heart knew better. I was too late. Besides, loving me wouldn’t be fair to him.
He seemed to be waiting for my response, but I couldn’t find any words at the moment. Everything I had ever wanted or hoped for was standing right in front of me. But it didn’t matte
r. Because I was too late. Maybe he never loved me at all. Maybe now was the time for him to come clean, and for me to finally face that harsh reality.
He raised his brows, “Don’t even, Pink.”
“Don’t what?”
“You know what,” he said. “I know what you’re thinking, and you need to quit that shit right now.”
“You have no idea what I’m thinking,” I snapped.
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, Matt! Really! You’re not a mind reader, you know.”
“So, you’re not wondering who I love?”
I pretended to laugh, but a weird squeak came out instead. Embarrassed at my gracelessness and the fact that he could read me so easily, my gaze focused on the floor as I braced for impact. Now was the moment of truth. Was I ready?
Keeping my eyes on the ground, I replied to both his question and mine. “Nope,” I said, popping the ‘p’ for emphasis.
He chuckled softly, “Hey. Look at me.” His warm fingertips lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “I know how much the timing sucks, okay? Things with us moved too damn fast. Faster than either of us was ready for. But love never waits for the right time, does it? It just smashes into us, tears shit up, messes with our plans, and makes us crazy as hell. You and me? We may not be ready for it, but I’m done pretending it’s not there. You might not want to know who I love, but I’m going to tell you anyway.” He cradled my face in his hands and leaned in to press a soft kiss on my lips. My eyes closed instinctively and stayed closed as he alternated whispered words with more of those kisses. “It’s you,” -kiss- “I’m so fucking crazy in love with you, Chloe,” -kiss- “I swear, it fucking hurts.”
After a final, lush, lingering kiss, he pulled away slightly and I swayed on my feet. Wow. His words were everything I wanted to hear and everything I had been afraid of, all rolled up into one. But he was right; the timing was all wrong. I wasn’t ready. Even if we tried, I’d mess it all up, making things worse than they already were. So I had to resist, for both of our sakes.
“You can’t love me, Matt,” I pleaded. “I’m not—we’re not—we’re just not right for each other. We can’t pretend that’s not true and—”
He placed his index finger over my mouth, shushing me. “Stop making excuses, Chloe. Just stop. I know you’re scared. So am I. But we can’t let that stop us. Look, I know why you left my house the morning after Christmas. I won’t lie, it fucking hurt when you left, but only because I couldn’t make sense of it at first. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood. And I get it now, because I’ve been there. I’ve been in your shoes; you don’t think you’re capable of being who you think I need, do you? Trust me, I know what it’s like to want to be a better person for the people you care about. That’s the only reason I fought every instinct in my body that told me to chase after you that day. You were doing what you felt you had to do. You needed that, so I let you go.
“The thing is… I. Don’t. Care about that anymore. I know now that I was horribly wrong to watch you walk away the way I did. If you hear nothing else I say today, Chloe, please hear this: I want you. Not the you of yesterday or a year from now. I fucking want the person you are today. And that doesn’t mean you have to stop trying to better yourself. Just don’t wait until you think you’re perfect to allow yourself to be happy. To allow yourself to be with me. Because ‘perfect’ will always be just out of reach and we shouldn’t waste any more time. That’s what you meant back there, right? That you’re happiest when you’re with me?”
His audacity forced a single, humorless laugh out of me. Just as I was about to tell him that he had a lot of nerve to call me out like that—just as I was about to follow my usual routine of denying him, of rejecting anything that might give me a moment of happiness, I remembered something he had said to me more than once. Do what’s right. And honestly? Nothing felt more right than admitting the truth to him right here. Right now.
As the possibility of us being together sunk in…as I began to finally accept that giving a relationship with him a try might truly be right for both of us…as the possibility of being happy again percolated in my mind, and as I prepared to confess how I really felt about him, every emotion that I had been keeping safely under the surface began to tumble out.
My hands trembled as I ran a fingertip along his jawline. Joy pushed against my eyes, stinging them, dampening them. Relief warmed my skin as anticipation raced through my heart. And all the while, hope swelled heavily in my chest and tightened my throat.
I never thought revealing something so tender could be so scary.
I cautiously nodded, whispering, “Yes. I said it. And, yeah, I meant it. Being with you makes me so happy, Matt. It makes me the kind of happy that’s—” I took a deep breath for strength and clarity. Once I found the right words, I looked him straight in the eye. “—that’s so fucking rare it quivers when you get too close, and breaks when you touch it. The kind of happy that nobody on earth deserves, especially not me. You make me the kind of happy that’s so right, you don’t know if it’s real or if you’re lost in a dream.” A tear escaped, trickling down my cheek. “It’s the kind of happy that’s so perfect that when it dies, you wish you had died with it because you know nothing will ever compare.
“I love you, Matt,” I continued as his arms slid around me, “and I know it sounds messed up, but I pushed you away because I wanted to be able to give you the kind of happiness that you’ve given me. That’s what you deserve, but I just don’t know if I’m capable of it. And that’s not fair to you. You need—”
“Shut up, Chloe,” he slid a hand behind my neck and pulled me into a hug so rich in acceptance that I could barely hold myself together. “I need you, do you hear me?” He squeezed me tighter, affection radiating out of him, filling my deepest emptiness, soothing my insecurities. As his strong arms held me close and my quiet tears trailed over his chest, he whispered into my ear, “You’re all I need, and don’t you dare ever fucking think otherwise.” He leaned back and cupped my cheeks, wiping my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “I can’t promise you that we won’t have challenges. But I love you. And that means I promise I’ll never give up on us. Never, Chlo. Okay?”
“I should be the one making promises, Matt. Not you.” He opened his mouth to object, but I cut him off. “I want this. I want you. I want us to be together. We’ve just gotten so off course, I don’t know how to get back. But I promise you that as of today, I’ll stop running. I’ll stop pushing you away. I can’t do that anymore. Especially after seeing you today. Like this.” My eyes twinkled up at him. “With no shirt on.” He rolled his eyes, only to chuckle softly. “Being in your arms like this is all I want.”
“Me too, Chloe. Me too.”
He held me close for a long while, his embrace calming me, his softly murmured words drying my tears. His body against mine felt so perfect, so right, that I knew I would never let him go again.
Eventually, I leaned back and looked into his warm, expressive eyes. “So what happens next?”
He broke eye contact, frowning as if searching for an answer. Abruptly, a corner of his mouth tilted up in a completely disarming, lopsided smile.
“It means there’s only one thing left to do.”
“Okay?” I said, eyeing him suspiciously. “What’s that?”
“Wanna go steady?” he teased.
“Only if you meet me at my locker every day after school,” I joked.
He laughed, but it only lasted for a moment before reality of our individual lives hit us. It would be impossible for us see each other every day. He lived hundreds of miles away and was contractually obligated to stay there for who-knew-how-long. Did he even plan on coming back?
“Hey.” He noticed my distress and leaned in, kissing my forehead. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I promise.”
“Okay,” I replied. Because I believed him. I had no doubt that this moment was a turning point for us. One that proved we were ready to take
the next step, to do whatever it took to be together.
A door opened on one of the floors above us and a pair of footsteps sounded on the stairs, making their way toward us. Two female voices echoed against the walls but stopped abruptly. The two young women stopped in their tracks, taking in the sight of a bare-chested Matt Langston holding me close, his coat and t-shirt sprawled in a pile on the floor.
Matt let go of me and turned to the women, who were both dressed in scrubs. “Nothing to see here, ladies.” He pointed toward the direction they were heading, giving them his trademark ‘I’m-Matt-Langston-and-I’m-a-sexy-beast’ grin. “Move along now.”
They rushed past us, trying valiantly to stifle their giggles. And as they opened the door to the floor below us, one of them said, “Isn’t that the guy from that car show?”
The door slammed shut and Matt hung his head, shaking it slowly. “Well, shit.”
“She recognized you. That’s bad, isn’t it?” I asked. I still didn’t understand the details of his relationship with Ava, but I trusted that he had a good reason for going along with it, and that being ‘outed’ by those two women would not be a good thing. “You’re not supposed to be with me…You’re supposed to be with Ava. They saw us, Matt. What if they talk to the press? It’s going to mess everything up for you, isn’t it?”
“No, Pink. It’s going to make everything right.”
I gave him a quizzical look and he gave me a confident smile that assured me he was quite alright with the world finding out that he had been in a stairwell, half-naked, with another woman.
He gestured toward the door. “I’ll deal with that later. For now, I’m going to resist my urge to pin you against the wall again and do what I’ve been wanting to do to you for the last three months. Because when I finally do, Chloe? When I finally touch you the way I want to—when I finally bury myself so deep inside you that you won’t be able to tell where I end and you begin? It’s not going to be done quickly in a public stairwell where someone could walk in on us at any moment.” He cocked his head in thought before continuing, “Although, remind me to do that with you another time. This time, though? When I take you, I’m going to make damn sure I have you all to myself, and I’m going to take my time savoring every sweet inch of you.”
The Fragile Line: The Complete Series Box Set: Parts One, Two, & Three Page 27