Deviant

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by Rowena

“Thank you,” she says, still not looking at me. She hasn’t looked at me for a while now, come to think of it. “I wonder what Scott’s thinking,” I say, and that gets her attention for a second.

  “Yeah,” she says. “I wonder what time it is, actually. How long have we been out cold? How long have we been here? Either way, Scott will know something’s wrong soon. We never go more than eight hours without talking to each other. Then again, he has that study group…” Her voice trails off and something in her manner changes. Something else is going on in that pretty little head of hers, and I can guess what it is.

  See, Scott decided to go back to school to get his bachelor’s. He got grants and loans, so money isn’t exactly the issue—not yet, anyway—and Calla is done with it herself, so it’s not like she’s jealous he’s getting higher education and she isn’t. The problem is that Scott is sort of jealous of her. As far as I can tell, Calla appears nothing but supportive, and doesn’t put him down in any way, but Scott confided to me that he always felt judged by her. He’s paranoid that she thinks she’s better than him, so he started working on doing everything in his power to improve himself.

  But that only introduced more problems. I saw this particular one coming a mile away, and I figure Calla hasn’t missed it, either. We’re still young, so although Scott’s going back as an older student, a twenty-four-year old dude suddenly amongst a bunch of eighteen to twenty-two year-old coeds…well. I think we all know where this is going.

  CALLA

  Jesse’s going to be at that study group. Or was there, if the time has already passed. Jesse, as in short for Jessica. What do I care, right? Scott’s in school, study groups are a part of it.

  But the only reason I even know the name ‘Jesse’ is because he has mentioned her before. Casually, of course. I try not to get jealous because, obviously, Scott’s going to make a lot of new connections. He’s going to take some of the same classes as some other people in the same major, for example, he’s going to have to go on class trips or whatever—that sort of thing. I don’t expect him to be some antisocial weirdo.

  It’s just that…well, Jesse. Why did Scott bother to mention her name, you ask?

  See, he didn’t know this Jesse before starting school again. But eventually, sometime in his first semester, he mentioned a girl who obviously liked him that he had to make clear to he was taken. Then, the next semester he’s all, “remember that girl I told you about? She’s in my English class this term. She sat next to me on the bus today. Jesse.”

  Something told me right then that Jesse had not taken no for an answer. Even when Scott was all, “She’s harmless, though—I’m not even attracted to her, so don’t even worry.”

  I decided to take his word for it, but I don’t know.

  Now they’re studying together? She’s like some tutor now, because she’s smart and generous with her time. Yes, I have a bad feeling about this, but what can I say without sounding all crazy? Scott already told me not to sweat it. The semester will be over before we knew it, and he probably won’t end up in a class with Jesse again.

  Suddenly I feel very tired.

  Usually, I read until I’m sleepy, but today has been quite harrowing. My emotions have been yanked all over the place, leaving me exhausted. Thank goodness Jason and I didn’t have to work out some awkward arrangement—although I guess it would only be right to at least offer to switch places sometime. Who knows how long we’ll be here before we can figure a way out? But for now, I’m sure Jason will be fine on the ground with a pillow. He’s a guy; he can take it.

  4

  JASON

  My back is killing me. I’m sure sleeping in the woods would be more comfortable than the ground here in this room. There’s no way I can keep this up for too long, but for now, I won’t say anything to Calla; I don’t want her to feel guilty. She’s still asleep, anyway, looking quite comfortable on that bed.

  I take a moment to check her out. Like me, she stayed fully clothed, only taking off her shoes. She is laying on her tummy wearing her jeans and T-shirt; she ignored the pajamas, teddies and other soft-looking nightwear that had apparently been put out for her.

  “I don’t know where that stuff’s been,” she’d said. “Besides, where would I change? There’s nowhere to hide in here.”

  “I’ll turn around.”

  “Thanks, but I just don’t feel comfortable. With any of this.”

  Way to state the obvious, Calla!

  I’m not comfortable in any way myself—except for being near her; I always feel comfortable around her. Calla, to me, feels like a really old friend, and it’s probably because she sort of is. Calla, Scott and I went to the same junior high school, and she probably had no idea of my crush back then—too busy making goo-goo eyes at Scott. She and I became really good friends in eighth grade, and then Scott swooped in in the ninth. As the new guy, he suddenly had everyone’s attention, but Calla won him in the end. The funny thing is, Scott and I had gone to the same elementary school. We recognized each other almost immediately, and formed an easy friendship from then. I don’t know how much of it on my part was to keep a close eye on him now that he had Calla’s attention, and I don’t want to think about it too much; he and I are truly good friends today. As much as I adore Calla, and would love nothing more than to have her in my arms instead, I respect him, and I want her to be happy; I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize my relationship with any of them.

  I turn away from Calla just as she switches positions, her eyes still closed, and I try not to think about how vulnerable her lips are to mine in that moment.

  I could do it—I could get away with finally planting a kiss on her, but I won’t, and not just because her eyes could suddenly pop open and catch me.

  Then I think, what the hell—what could she really do but get mad for a few seconds? Maybe longer, sure, she’d hold it against me, but I’d just pretend I was just staring at her. “Because you’re so beautiful—to me, anyway.” I’d tell her that. I’d watch her cute little face flush with embarrassment, those brown eyes framed with lush lashes look away. She’s a doll, and Scott knows he’s lucky to have her, but for some guys, no matter how delicious their girl is, one is not enough.

  Scott’s a fool.

  I remember this story my dad read to me when I was younger—an Aesop fable, about this dog and his bone. The dog was crossing a bridge or something on his way home, and all excited about this juicy bone he found. But then he caught sight of his reflection in the water below the bridge and thought it was another dog with a bone. Being the greedy bastard he was, he wanted that dog’s bone too, so he opened his mouth to snatch it, and of course, his bone fell into the water and was lost.

  Well, part of me hopes that anyway—that with Scott getting so greedy, word of his infidelity will get around to Calla, and help push her into my arms. But I don’t really want Calla to find out—it would crush her. She’s so naive to think he couldn’t and wouldn’t, but the physical distance between them just makes it easier. Jesse sure as hell isn’t her only worry.

  I find myself making a decision.

  I’m glad this kidnapper dude—whoever he is—gave me this opportunity. I don’t care what he’s getting out of it—I have every intention of making Calla mine—in every way—before we leave here.

  I place a peck on her lips, and then settle back onto my place on the ground.

  5

  CALLA

  What a night! Weird dreams and all. I wake up expecting to see my bedroom, but I’m still in some foreign place with Jason instead of Scott near.

  Poor Jason—that ground does not look comfortable.

  The freak who brought us here probably made sure that was the case, so that we could abandon an idea like this as soon as possible and get one step closer to his aim of having us sleep together by getting us to literally sleep together.

  I’m not falling for it. Sorry, Jason—you’re stuck with the short end of the stick, I’m afraid.

  Most unproduct
ive day ever.

  We try and fail to find some opening that could help us out, and I bet Jason thought I missed the glances he threw in my direction. Trap a guy in any situation and tell him he has to fuck his way out and he has no qualms about it. I haven’t necessarily gotten the impression he was DTF before, but I remember feeling his affection back in junior high—I knew he liked me. I’m glad he kept it to himself because it was nice to just be friends, and he did a good job of hiding his longing, for the most part. It was a bit of an ego booster, but after I got with Scott, our friendship only got better, and I thought he had gotten over the whole thing.

  He and I didn’t necessarily stay as close, since he and Scott became thick as thieves, but we had a good arrangement—I could still bitch to him about things outside of Scott. Scott probably yapped to him about me, but I always knew I was not at liberty to do the same; guys tend to stick together in a way once they bond, no matter how close you were to them before.

  I wonder if Jason knows more about Jesse? And would he tell me? I’ll ask him tomorrow.

  “Okay, I can’t take it anymore; I feel gross. Turn around,” I say, as I prepare myself to take a shower. The longest I’ve ever gone without showering is about twenty-four hours, and at minimum, that amount of time has passed.

  Now, I’m more self-conscious about smelling funky than possibly giving Jason an eyeful.

  “No problem,” Jason says, dutifully turning around immediately. “Just let me know when it’s okay to look up again.”

  Jason is such a gentleman. Now that I think about it, he was always that way with me.

  I undress, get in the shower, and enjoy the feel of the spray on my skin. Showers are so much better the grosser you are.

  I don’t know how long I keep Jason waiting, but when I finally turn the shower off, probably grinning to myself in pleasure over how clean I feel, and not thinking about the owner of that weird voice possibly watching it all, I realize I didn’t bring a towel or anything to cover myself with. Also, that I couldn’t put my dirty clothes back on, so I guess I had to put on one of those soft outfits in the small dresser.

  I had laughed with Jason about it: clearly the weirdo who brought us here didn’t think it would be long before Jason and I gave in to his terms—there was a silk bathrobe (purple), one pairs of silk pajamas (red), and some teddies and other lingerie. As for Jason, five white T-shirts and some silk boxers. Like, seriously? The dude provided us with only nightwear. He thinks he’s so slick.

  In the meantime, how am I supposed to dry off?

  “You see that knob?” the weird voice suddenly says, making both Jason and me jump. I had just been studying the silver item. I can’t believe this is how I’m supposed to dry off.

  “Push it,” the voice says, and like those machines in public restrooms, my body is dried by warm air.

  I step past Jason and slip on the bathrobe.

  “Open,” I say to him, once covered.

  I watch his eyes take me in.

  “It fits,” is all he says after a few seconds.

  6

  JASON & CALLA

  JASON

  “My turn,” I say to Calla, after pretending the sight of her in a short bathrobe, her damp blond hair falling down her shoulders onto its shiny purple, didn’t really move me. God, I hope I pulled it off. “You can turn away or not—I don’t care.”

  “Of course I’ll turn around,” she says huffily.

  She’s hilarious; she sounded so indignant. Like, how dare I act as if she was so rude, she’d watch me strip to the buff? I really didn’t care—she could look all she wanted. I’m not embarrassed about any part of my body—even when I’m not blown up to my full potential. She knows what a dick is like; she knows what happens when blood suddenly engorges it. Hell, it’s accomplishment enough that I didn’t get totally hard at the sight of her in the robe. I guess I wanted her to see that she didn’t affect me like that so easily.

  Anyway, I guess she turned away immediately—I don’t look to find out. I just strip, kicking my clothes next her own shed pile, and get in that shower.

  In no time, I see what took her so long—the spray felt marvelous. I check out the shower head to see if it’s one of those fancy massaging ones, and it looks like it is.

  Plus, the smell of the soap—it was like some kind of aromatherapy. This freak who wanted us to fuck isn’t playing fair—everything about this section of the bathroom says, Relax…

  “Are you decent yet?” she asks when I finally turn the shower off.

  “No, I’m about to walk past you to grab a pair of those boxers.”

  I catch a glimpse of her eyes squeezed shut as I do.

  I put on the boxers—which were unbelievably comfortable—and that was that.

  “Decent,” I say, and I can’t help a smile of delight when I see the way her eyes get stuck on my shirtless chest.

  After a few moments of taking in my torso, she blushes prettily, and then looks away. I have to stop myself from laughing.

  CALLA

  Holy hell, Jason’s hot. I don’t recall seeing him shirtless before, but I almost drool when I see how in shape he is. ‘In shape’ is a bit of an understatement—his body’s incredible. I knew I had to look away when I suddenly found myself wondering what it would be like to run my hands over those muscles, to feel pressed against that strong chest.

  What the hell’s getting into me?

  I scramble into the bed in horror, turning away from Jason and that beautiful body of his to face the wall.

  I will myself to go to sleep instead of wishing, and hoping Jason would slide into the bed behind me. Oh god, I hope I don’t give myself away—I hope he didn’t notice how much I appreciated that unexpected sight.

  How embarrassing.

  “You owe me a massage tomorrow,” he says. “This ground is killing me.”

  I don’t respond; I couldn’t think of what to say—what would be proper. I couldn’t deny him, could I? The reason he’s getting all these aches and pains is because he selflessly gave up the bed to me. But I can’t imagine actually putting my hands on his tanned back and feeling those muscles I’d glimpsed.

  Oh god, I’m getting wet. This is not good. I better figure out a way to make him less attractive, fast. I sure hope he wears those plain white T-shirts from now on.

  “Can you throw down another pillow?” he asks as we get ready for bed hours and hours later. There are only two pillows, and he only had one of them to help make his ground-bed more comfy. I threw down the second one, resorting to having just the mattress, wrapped in that heavenly bedding.

  It’s the least I can do.

  7

  JASON & CALLA

  JASON

  We brush our teeth upon awakening, and chat for an hour or two before Calla suddenly tells me to lay down on the mattress as she stands next to it.

  “Did Scott ever mention a Jesse to you?” she asks as I do as I am told, eager to plop myself on that decadent mattress still holding her scent. I position the pillows around me.

  She caught me by surprise with her question—it seemed out of left field. We had been talking about the old days today—when it was just the two of us, and we were on the cusp of adolescence. We had laughed about an incident where I had tried to inveigle her in talking shit about our math teacher while in class. Calla was such a good girl, even then. She pretended like she didn’t hear my whispered jokes, but I saw the corner of her mouth tilt up.

  I guess that’s why she figured it was safe to bring up Jesse—it almost felt like we were in junior high again, before Scott’s introduction to her life. We were buds.

  But she still didn’t bypass my guy code. I can’t lie to her, but I don’t have to tell her the whole truth, either. Besides, I can’t bear to see Calla sad. Plus, we were having such a good time reacquainting ourselves with the younger versions of us. I figure all the reminiscing made her feel more comfortable about giving me that massage, which she’s about to do. She places her soft han
ds on my back, and I already relax a little from her gentle touch. But I am still alert.

  “Oh, that chick from his class?” I say. “Scott’s kind of yappy in general—he’s like a girl, sometimes.”

  She taps my back in some semblance of a playful slap. Then her slender fingers start making circles on my back.

  “So I’ve heard about Jesse, Chris, Lisa, James…” I continue. The palm of her hand skillfully kneads my muscles. “Can’t tell you a thing about them—I blank out sometimes when he’s going on about this or that.”

  It seems she’s letting me get away with being vague. But then she says, as her hands continue to move deliciously over me, “Is she pretty?”

  “She’s all right,” I say honestly, hoping she doesn’t ask me where I saw her. Scott had texted me a pic. “Nowhere near as pretty as you,” I say as I flipped over, successfully shocking her into extended silence. Her hands pull back as if burnt now that she is suddenly faced with me laying on my back before her. She tries so hard not to scan my torso, but fails miserably.

  “I guess that’s it, then,” she says.

  I just stare at her.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” she says eventually.

  Truthfully, I’m just willing myself not to pull her on top of me—that’s all my body is screaming at me to do. My struggle is probably written all over my face. Sure, my brain has been partially occupied by trying to dodge a conversation about this girl that Scott suddenly found himself attracted to, but my body can’t ignore how good it feels to have Calla’s hands on it. I want to know what all of her feels like—both pressed against and on top of me, with me inside of her.

  I close my eyes, finally breaking the eye contact and sit up. She steps back a little.

  “Thanks for the massage,” I say, “it helped a bit. But I can’t do the ground much longer.”

 

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