by Nina Crespo
“Want help?” With all the shit on his plate, had he honestly asked that? But he couldn’t leave knowing she struggled with loss.
“Not if you feel obligated. You don’t owe me anything.”
But he did. She tried to untangle her fingers from his, but he held on. “It’s not obligation. I want to. I can stay one more day.”
Lauren gave him a contemplative look. A smile slowly replaced a frown. “All right. We’ll take it day by day.”
“I said one more day.”
“I know, but I was thinking about it. I don’t think you should go. Yesterday, you said you could be in danger. Without your memory, you may not recognize who’s a threat.”
“And that’s exactly why I should leave.”
“But—”
He cupped her face and placed his thumb on her lips. “Memory or not, I can handle danger. What I can’t handle is you being hurt or in trouble because of me.”
Her brow crinkled with a stubborn expression. She tugged his hand away. “We already had this conversation. I don’t believe you’d have come to me if you knew it wasn’t safe to do it.”
“I have to find out who I am. Just like you can’t put off what I came here to do. I can’t let being here stop me from finding out.”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t. Who knows what else you’ll recall if you give yourself until the end of the week. I mean, what else are you going to do, hike around until you remember something? Stay.”
Just being near her pushed buttons that lowered his resolve. “We’ll take it day by day.”
“That’s fine for now.” She grinned. “I’ll just have to convince you I’m right.”
No doubt she’d try. “Are you sweet talking me, beautiful?”
“Absolutely. The same way you’re sweet talking me.” Lauren nudged him back on the bed. She stroked his length from base to tip. “Is it working?”
Need socked out the air in his lungs. He bucked from the mattress. “Too well.”
“Good.”
Lauren pumped him slowly in her hand. The desire in her eyes made him shake. She thumbed away pre-cum from his cock. As she swirled it over the tip shivers racked down his spine. The welcome torture ended when she finally rolled the condom on him. Heaven washed over Reid as she sank down on his length. The rise and fall of her hips forced hard exhales. She lightly scored his nipples and tingles traveled down to his balls. His heart pounded. Her gaze trapped him. She trapped him with some invisible bond he didn’t want to break. He couldn’t remember his past, but innate understanding made it clear. He’d never connected like this with another woman. He strummed her clit. Her thighs quivered. Her pussy pulsed as she lost rhythm and cried out his name. As she came apart, Reid followed, wishing he never had to leave.
Chapter 10
Lauren took the stairs up to the loft. Cardboard boxes and plastic storage tubs sat stacked on the floor. What would she find? Would she discover what distance and death had kept her from understanding?
Reid joined her. “Where do we start?”
The first large box was as good as any. “With this one.”
He gave her the box cutter. “I’ll let you open and sort. Just tell me where to put what.”
“All right.” Lauren dried her palm on her faded jeans. She opened the box and tossed aside the crumpled packing paper. An exhale filled with relief and a tinge of disappointment blew out. What had she expected to find? “Sleeping bags.” She handed the two rolled bundles to Reid.
He peeked into the box. “Pots and pans. Folding shovel. Tent pegs. Looks like camping gear.”
She looked through it. “It’s all brand new.”
“Donate or keep?” He held up a black marker.
Seduction wouldn’t keep Reid from leaving. In a few days, he’d hike into the woods. Staying under the radar would mean spending nights outdoors. He wouldn’t take money, but this wasn’t charity. She’d broach the subject later. “Keep.”
He marked the box. “Are you keeping the pots and pans, too?”
“Why?”
He grinned. “Oh nothing. Just didn’t see you as the cooking over the campfire type.”
“What? You don’t think I can cook? I happen to make the best camp stove oatmeal. I also make a kickass marinade for barbecue.” He didn’t look convinced.
“What?” He raised a brow. “I believe you.”
“Uh-huh.” She whacked him.
“Ow.” He rotated his shoulder. Hard muscle flexed underneath his shirt as he mocked pain. “I think you broke something.”
“Stop whining and move the box.”
“Are you always this bossy?”
“You weren’t complaining this morning.”
“And I won’t complain later.” He winked and gave her a sexy smile.
Her worn T-shirt grew overly warm. Later. Anticipation loosed flutters. Sex brain. She couldn’t stand next to him without wanting to take off her clothes and strip off his.
They unpacked more boxes. One had books. “Missing Link. Silent Scream.”
Reid looked up. “What did you say?”
“I was just reading the titles of the books. My dad and I both liked mysteries and thrillers. He’d send me some of his favorites from his collection. I’d send him a few of mine.” She picked up another. The corners of some of the pages were creased. Her father’s way of bookmarking his spot.
Reid stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You and your dad sharing a love of books. That’s a wonderful memory to hold onto.”
She settled back, relishing his strength and the comfort of having him to lean on. “We lost touch when I was growing up. Reading was the one thing that helped us reestablish a relationship.”
He kissed her temple. “Are you sure you don’t want them?”
Keeping them would bring good memories, but she could have that every time she picked out a new book, too. “Maybe I’ll keep a few.”
She sorted through and took out ones that interested her.
Reid placed the remainder in the corner designated for donations.
Sadness mixed with nostalgia crushed in. If her father hadn’t chosen the army first for so many years, they could have connected sooner. Stop. Bursting into tears wasn’t fair to Reid. He’d signed up to help her get the job done, not watch her cry.
“We need music.” She snagged her phone from the top of a box and pulled up her playlist of rock and pop classics.
A song by Aerosmith filled the silence.
Reid sang along, not missing a word. He had a great voice and even kept in tune on the higher notes.
The next song caused him to break into air guitar mode. Even clowning around, he looked like a natural.
He pantomimed intense facial expressions as if he were really into the music.
A laugh spilled out of her, lifting a heavy weight. She pretended to be a fan and cheered.
The song switched to a love ballad. He pulled her away from opening a box and maneuvered her into slow dance position.
The smooth, velvety tones of his voice filled the loft.
She laid her head on his shoulder and followed his lead into an easy sway. It felt good in his arms. Everything about him felt familiar and right. They even fit perfectly in bed. No first timer’s awkwardness in falling asleep together. It was almost if they’d done it before. He even knew which side of the mattress she preferred.
Just her luck. The one time she really wanted to keep seeing a guy, she couldn’t. But how selfish could she be? His problems trumped starting a relationship. She’d go crazy if she couldn’t remember her past and the people she loved. Something had to jar his memory. Lauren traced over his shoulder. People got tattoos for personal reasons. It had to have meaning.
Reid stroked up and down her back. “What are you thinking about?”
“Your dragon tat. It’s pretty distinctive. Could you be a musician?” With his gorgeous looks, if he were on stage, women would throw themselves at him.
&nb
sp; “You mean like in a band?” He chuckled. “Singing feels natural to me, but so does dancing with you.”
Push the point and try to get him to remember something, or stay in the lightness of the moment? His arms tightening around her made the decision. She snuggled into him and closed her eyes. The clean scent of soap warmed by his skin surrounded her. The melodic hum vibrating from his chest lulled her into silence.
The song ended but they didn’t move apart. Why couldn’t they just stay this way? Reluctantly, she let him go. Before she stepped away, he tipped up her chin. His gaze studied her as if he were taking in every feature on her face. Reid brushed his lips softly against hers. He swirled his tongue into her mouth. Desire rose sharp and quick.
He broke away and rested his forehead against hers. “Why don’t we finish these smaller boxes and call it a day?”
“Sounds good.”
Her fingers shook as she pried open the first box amid sensual images of how they’d spend the rest of the afternoon. A hard rectangle wrapped in tissue sat on top. She unwrapped it. Sun bounced off the glass covering the framed watercolor sketch of the cabin in late fall. Clouds hung in a sunny, blue sky. The first snow of the season capped the mountain in the background. Orange and red leaves lay on the browning lawn like confetti. Smoke curled from the chimney. Shock and pain constricted her chest. It slipped from her hands.
Reid caught it before it fell to the floor. “Got it. This is nice? Who painted it?”
“My dad.” A reminder of the day her father completely shattered her heart.
Reid moved to set it in the keep pile.
“No.” The snap in her voice reverberated.
His head swiveled her direction.
She forced a calm, even tone. “I have one like it. Someone else may enjoy that one.”
“But it won’t have the same sentimental value for them. Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”
“Very.”
“Huh.” His gaze moved from her to the sketch. He looked as if he wanted to ask a question. “All right.” Reid wrapped it carefully and set it in one of the boxes slated for giveaway.
Unfinished sketches, drawing, and painting supplies filled the box. She hadn’t inherited her father’s talent. Why keep them? They went to the giveaway pile, too.
Relief descended as they dug into the last box of the day. Assorted screwdrivers, wrenches, and other tools were mostly organized in zippered cases. Reid unzipped one and paused. The vibe around him shifted. A sharper edge with a hint of danger. He laid the open case with the gun on top of a stack of boxes. “Glock 22. Accurate, reliable. It’s a good weapon. Did your father like to shoot?”
“Yes. Dad owned a variety of guns.”
In a few precise movements, Reid cleared and sighted the pistol. “Do you own one?”
“Yes.”
“When you found me, did you have it on you?”
“No. I didn’t need it. You were hurt.”
Reid’s jawline hardened. “Like hell you didn’t.” He put the pistol back into the case and jerked the zipper closed. “Your father should have trained you better. You have to be cautious in a place like this. Always keep your guard up and your gun on you with a chambered round.”
The command in his tone hit her like a slap. Irritation streamed through her blood. “My father didn’t need to train me because I wasn’t one of his soldiers. I didn’t take orders from him, and I’m not taking them from you.”
Lauren stormed out of the loft. A guy bossing her around? Double hell no to that. She reached the bottom of the stairs, Reid right behind her.
He spun her around. “Lauren.”
“No.” She wrenched her arm away. “Excuse me for choosing to drag your ass out of the rain instead of holding a gun to your head. And as far as training, my mother taught me how to handle a gun. My father wasn’t around to teach me. He left.” A wave of sorrow caught her off guard. She gulped down a sob. “That sentimental picture upstairs represents one of the best worst days of my life, after my parent’s divorce. It started out with pancakes, lemonade, a beautiful hike in the woods, and ice cream—all of my favorite things—and it ended with him telling me his next duty station was overseas. He kept getting promoted and got busier and busier, and he never came back.”
“Shit.” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Lauren. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have popped off like that, especially about your father. I didn’t know.”
Anger drained with a flood of tears. “I waited too long. We should have connected sooner, but I was so angry at him. When we started talking again, I was afraid to ask. Now I’ll never understand why he left me for all that time.”
He kissed her temple. “I don’t know what to say to make it better for you.”
It relieved her he didn’t try. So many people had told her how she should feel. What she ought to do to get over it. That she should feel grateful for the time they’d had. How she shouldn’t doubt that he’d wanted to be in her life. They talked to her as if her pain and what she felt didn’t have a place.
Reid tensed. “Someone’s pulling into the driveway. Are you expecting anyone?”
“No.” Alarm dried tears. “The Realtor’s not coming until next week.”
Lauren looked out the window. “It’s my friend.”
Celine stepped out the passenger side of the black truck. Her curly ponytail swayed as she walked toward the house.
“I’d better go.”
“Go?” She grabbed his arm. “You don’t have to. We can trust Celine.”
“I don’t want to get anyone else involved, especially your friends. Don’t tell her about me.”
“But you need food and supplies.”
“I’m not going far.” Reid’s hard kiss silenced her next objection. “I’ll come back when she’s gone.” He slipped out of her grasp and ran out the doors to the deck.
A knock echoed.
Lauren took a calming breath, pasted on a smile, and opened the door. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
Celine gave Lauren a hug. “Ari’s orders. She said you’ve been out of the loop for almost forty-eight hours.” The horn beeped. Celine smiled and threw a kiss at her boyfriend. She’d started dating him two months ago. She’d gone from grief to happiness almost overnight.
He backed out of the driveway.
“Wait. Where’s he going?” Lauren shut the door. “When is he coming back? I thought you were in Myrtle Beach?”
“And hello to you, too. He’s going to town to pick up a few things. I told him we needed some girl time.” Celine, cute as always in heels, crisp jeans, and a white blouse, strolled to the kitchen. She dropped her red designer tote on the island. “We were in Myrtle Beach. Ari said she hasn’t heard from you in a while, and you didn’t answer your phone. We got worried. Are you okay?”
“Yes. Great. Everything is fine. You shouldn’t have come.” Lauren inwardly cringed. She sounded ungrateful. Celine had driven hours because she cared, but she had to go.
“Oh, look at you.” Compassion grew in Celine’s brown-eyed gaze. “You’ve been crying. Ari was right. You’re hiding your feelings. Well, not anymore.” She kicked off her heels. “Good. You’ve got merlot. Point me in the direction of the wineglasses.”
Crap. “But I’m really busy.”
“And you’re taking a break. You look tired.” Celine found glasses in the cabinet and poured wine. “First we talk. Then you can put me to work.”
Lauren took a glass and sat on the sofa. Where was Reid?
“Now tell me.” Celine took a seat next to Lauren and curled up her legs on the couch. “What’s keeping you up at night?”
Over six feet of wonderful. She shouldn’t have gotten upset at Reid. Then she’d brought up that stuff about her father. Celine’s expectant expression pulled her back to the question. “I found a few unexpected things.”
“Like what?”
“Well…camping gear, tools, sketching supplies.”
“Campin
g gear and tools, well, that’s obvious, isn’t it? Sketching supplies…your father did paint. Maybe he planned on doing more of it during his retirement.”
“You know. You’re right. I didn’t think about that.”
“Nice try, Lauren, but that’s not it.” Celine gripped her arm. “You were just starting to know your dad when you lost him. It’s okay to still be sad or upset that you didn’t get a chance to build a relationship.”
Hollowness opened in Lauren’s chest. History repeated itself with Reid. Was that her fate? Any man who brought something good into her life would leave. Duty had left no room for her in her father’s life. Reid didn’t know his future. Once he did, what would take him away? Panic filled the hollowness. No. She couldn’t even define what she and Reid had as a relationship. She didn’t have a claim on him.
Thunder roared.
She couldn’t stop herself from glancing out the French doors.
Celine gave her a hard stare. “Okay. What’s going on? You’re acting weird.”
Denying it would only bring more questions. Celine knew her too well. “My father, being here at the cabin again. It’s a lot for me to process. I need more time before I can talk about it.”
“So I should leave.” Celine’s hurt expression spurred guilt.
“I love you guys for caring about me, but this is something I have to figure out on my own.” Not a complete lie. She’d come to the cabin to process her father’s death. And Reid, she honestly couldn’t talk about him. At least not until after he’d left. Had Celine showing up changed his mind about staying longer? He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Would he?
Celine sighed. “Then I guess I better call Thane and tell him to turn around and pick me up.”
After Celine called him, silence followed them into the kitchen. Lauren washed their glasses. Celine dried them. They passed time with a stilted conversation about Thane and Celine’s drive from Myrtle Beach.
A knock sounded at the door.
“I’ll get it.” Celine opened the door. Her tall, brown-haired, broad-shouldered boyfriend walked into the cabin. He immediately swooped in and gave Celine a kiss. As he slipped his keys into the pocket of his jeans, the couple stared at each other. It was easy to interpret the meaning in the silent exchange. Love.