by Nina Crespo
“I’m not wandering. I’m sitting here having a conversation with Celine.”
“I don’t care who you’re with. I asked and no one knew where you were. You should have told me.” Anger sharpened his features. “Do you know how dangerous it is? This isn’t a game.”
“I know it’s not.”
“Do you? Do you even have a clue about what’s going on?” His grip tightened. “This isn’t some luxury vacation where we’re hanging out with our friends and strolling around in the moonlight. You have to pay attention. I won’t always be around to pull you out of shit you shouldn’t be in the middle of. That’s how Kell—”
Thane materialized and grabbed his arm. “Stop! You know as well as I do she’s safe. Do you think I’d let Celine be here if she wasn’t? Get it together.”
“No. It needs to be said.” Lauren placed her hands on Reid’s chest. He was one solid mass of tension. “That’s how Kell was able to kidnap me. I wasn’t paying attention, and the price for that was you being tortured to save me.” It hurt to breathe. “I’ll never forgive myself for the pain I caused. I owe you my life.”
Reid let her go as if touching her burned him. “That’s what you think?”
“Am I wrong?”
Reid raked his hair and turned.
Celine moved to step in. “No, you’re—”
Thane caught Celine by the waist and whispered to her. She followed him through the bushes.
Reid released a deep breath. “I don’t blame you for any of it. No one knew Kell was on the loose. Now that we do, it’s my duty to be with the team and find him.” He turned, his gaze devoid of emotion. “You don’t need to be here. I talked to Dalir about it. He’ll protect you from Kell. Go back. Live your life. Find someone who doesn’t tick all the boxes on your list.”
The list? She didn’t give a damn about the list. She wanted him, but she’d heard what he meant loud and clear. Hero. Angel. That’s what Jenny and her mother had called him. And what had he said? For a lot of people, the job is a calling, that it made them complete. Made him complete. He didn’t need her. She was in the way. Her chest grew so heavy it almost hurt to breathe. Just like she’d been with her father. “You’re right. I should go. Can Dalir do it now?”
“Lauren, you don’t—”
“It’s best.” The final thought she wanted in her mind, remembered or not, is that she’d made the choice. Not that she’d broken and fallen to her knees.
On the way back to Dalir’s house, the silence of The Drift seemed magnified, filled with loss, beauty, and sadness. The moonlight highlighted the magnificence of the mountains. Lights shown through the wall of windows in the house. Everyone was inside. Beacons lighting the way home, just not for her.
Reid cleared his throat. “How much time will you need to say goodbye to Celine?”
“Not long.” Be brave. That’s what he needed to see. Not her breaking apart. “I don’t believe in long, messy goodbyes.” She forced a smile but her mouth trembled.
“Damn it.” He brought her flush against him. Hip to hip. Belly to belly. Heart to heart. His beat steadily while hers split in two.
She leaned away. His lips were close. One more kiss, that’s it. An image flashed in of looking at him just like this. Wanting him just like this. A perfect moment that changed everything. Except then, desire instead of conflict had rested in his gaze.
He kissed her.
Soft, sweet. Longing and sadness hooked into her chest, swirled up her throat. Her heart would never forget. Holding back a sob, she broke away. “Get Dalir, okay?”
Reid gripped her hands, laid his forehead to hers, and closed his eyes. A shuttering breath vibrated into her. “This is for the best.” He walked inside.
Seconds later Celine ran out. She grasped Lauren’s arms. “No, you can work it out. You just need time.”
Lauren suppressed a laugh, afraid it would turn into hysteria. Time, the bitch that had screwed everything up. More of that? No, thank you. “I have to leave.”
“But he cares about you.” Celine sobbed. “He can’t send you away.”
“He’s not.” Lauren cupped Celine’s cheeks. She was such a loyal friend and ally who only wished good things for her. “I asked to go. It’s the right decision for me. It’s what I want. What I also want is for you to be happy with Thane. When all the shit with Kell is sorted out, you come back to us so we can throw you the best wedding ever. The way things work with these guys we might even get to do it a few times.” She tried to laugh but Celine’s tears prompted her own.
Celine hugged her. “Lauren, I’m so sorry. I feel like I pushed you toward him. If I would have known it would turn out like this, I would have stopped you from getting involved.”
“No. I wouldn’t have wanted you to. I’m not sorry I met him. Promise me you won’t hate him.”
Reid stared at Lauren. The sadness in his eyes was eclipsed by stubborn determination.
“I’ll try.” Celine gave her a tremulous smile and whispered. “But there’s no guarantee a hot cup of coffee or a glass of wine won’t land in his lap or on his head.”
Lauren forced herself to let go of Celine.
Colby, West, and Mace embraced Lauren in turn.
Thane gave her an extra-long hug. “I’ll take care of her…and him.”
“You better.” Tears mercifully turned Reid into a blur. As she blinked them back, she faced Dalir. “All right. How does this work? Do I click my heels and wake up in my bed?”
“Close.” Dalir gave her one of his barely there smiles with a hint of compassion.
He made her cry all over again. He loved Reid, too, like a brother. He’d watch over him. They all would. Reid didn’t need her.
Dalir reached out to her. “Take my hand.”
Chapter 19
Reid held Lauren in his arms. Predawn shadows darkened the cabin’s living room to a watery gray. Deep in supernatural sleep, she didn’t stir as he laid her on the couch. This is the way it should have happened. He should have left her in peace. No explanations. No risking her life. Neither one of them trying to convince themselves or each other that the fantasy they’d indulged in could work.
He found a trash bag in the kitchen. As he searched all of the rooms, he tossed what belonged to him. Not much.
She had a few more boxes to look through in the loft. It wouldn’t take long for her to finish. He could move the boxes she’d plan to throw and give away outside near the front porch. That’s what he’d planned to do the day of Jenny’s accident.
The fall sketch lay on the pile.
Her best worst day.
A bitter chuckle he couldn’t stop shot out. If only he could claim one bad day. A screwed-up mission, losing his memory, being tortured by Kell, and the bastard getting away. That wasn’t the vilest part. He’d found the woman who mended his soul. Cared about him. Then, he broke her heart. His throat tightened. She wouldn’t remember, but he’d see her every time he hiked a mountain trail. Sat in front of a fire. When he saw Celine with Thane or closed his eyes to block out the image of their happiness. He’d never forget.
After he placed the boxes and bags outside, he went back to her.
She curled in a ball and shivered.
He covered her with the throw blanket. Kissed her. Breathed in her scent.
Lauren snuggled into the cushions, and her soft exhale dried his cheek.
Time’s up. Dalir had given him only an hour to set things right. Reid walked out into the rising sun. The watercolor sitting at the top of the box turned vibrant and alive with color. He picked it up and phased.
* * * *
Colby, Mace, and West filed into the living room at The Drift. They sat down on the chairs and couch. Thane and Reid stood with Dalir at the fireplace.
Reid’s gaze connected with Thane’s. They exchanged nods. This was the right thing to do. Dalir had been straight up with him and Thane about everything. They’d decided to stand with him in the fight. They functioned as a team, but
every man was in charge of their own destiny. The mission had changed from stopping sick bastards from destroying the world, at least for a time. Now, they’d only focus on one sick bastard. Kell. Once they took him down, they could get back to handling business as usual.
Dalir rolled his shoulders. A brief swell of energy pulsed and rippled through the room. He met the gazes of their other three team members. They sat a little straighter in their seats. “Thane and Reid already know what I’m about to tell you…”
For the third time, Reid heard about Dalir’s lost dimension. The loss of the people Dalir cared about and Kell’s motive for revenge. He finished. Silence hovered in the room.
“I’m extending the same offer that I gave to Reid and Thane. A release from your oath. You joined me to save your world, not mine.”
“I think we all can relate to family issues.” Mace pursed his lips and blew out a breath. “Sounds like your brother has a head full of them.” He looked around the room “Everyone here is family. We protect our own. I’m in.”
Colby leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “What about people who’ve been close to us?” He tipped his chin toward Reid. “Like Lauren. Is Kell going to go after them to get to us?”
“Not if he’s smart.” Dalir’s gaze cooled to an arctic freeze. “I weakened him. Working with the human mind takes effort and skill he won’t waste. His objective right now is to grow stronger, not weaker. In the case of Lauren, if goes near her, I’ll know and then it’s over for him.” His eyes flicked to Reid. “Her mind is also not a safe place for him. He knows. Again, it’s not worth the risk for him.”
A vision of Lauren emerged in Reid’s thoughts. If she knew her mind was literally a trap, she’d have something to say about it. Actually, she might like it when it came to exterminating Kell. If she only knew how special she was in every way. A pang of regret lodged in his chest. He swept it away along with the vision of her.
West crossed his arms. “So revenge, that’s all he wants?”
“Revenge, a way back to our homeland, power.”
West grunted. “Well, I guess he’s headed for disappointment. In my book, he fucked up as soon as he touched Reid. Count me in.”
Colby nodded. “Make it a third.”
“Thank you.” Dalir’s energy receded as if he’d released a huge sigh of relief. For a brief moment, the harshness in his expression lessened. “I am honored to have you join me on the hunt.”
* * * *
Reid removed the empty magazine from his Glock. He stowed it in the side pocket of his camo pants and slammed in another one.
Ten miles from the house, the course they’d created gave them room to maneuver on foot and in a phase. He adjusted the Velcro on his shooting gloves. Most of the stiffness was gone, but his grip still felt off. During today’s training, he’d hit all the targets, but he could do better. Tighten the cluster of bullets, more head shots.
Sun peeked through the tall oaks, providing the right amount of soothing warmth. Not too cool to make his short-sleeve T-shirt impractical. Not too warm that he broke a hard sweat, despite the work. Another afternoon in The Drift. Another day spent looking for Kell. During the past three weeks, they’d covered ground, year by year, searching for anomalies. Serving as bait to lure him out.
A light stirring of leaves raised honed instinct. He turned and aimed.
Thane walked into the clearing. “You still at it?”
“Yeah, I thought I’d run it through a few more times.”
“You’re pushing pretty hard. Why don’t you take a break? Celine made us lunch.”
“You mean she made you lunch.”
Thane snorted a laugh. “Come on. You know she’s not like that. We’re the only three here. She’s not going to leave you out.”
“Oh, I’m sure she won’t.” A strong breeze blew in from the left. He’d have to compensate for that. “Your fiancée loves me. That’s why she dumped coffee on my lap.”
“It was an accident.”
“Once is an accident. Three times and we’re either dealing with a poltergeist or the truth. She’s pissed at me over Lauren.”
“Should she be?”
Finally, the talk they’d avoided. Honestly, he’d half expected for Thane to hate him, too. “No, but I don’t blame her. She’s looking at it through how she feels for you. Not how Lauren felt about me.”
“What about how you feel for her?”
The strange press against his chest he felt just thinking about her returned. Which is why he didn’t. He holstered the Glock at his thigh. “Lauren got caught up in circumstances I never should have involved her in. Throw in isolation and sex and suddenly it all seems rosy, but it’s not. You heard her. She owes me.”
“And what’s wrong with that? It’s not a lie. You saved her, but did you even give her a chance to tell you how she felt about you outside of that?”
“There is no outside of that. The two go hand in hand.”
“She’s not Beth.”
“I never said she was.”
“But you thought it, over and over again to the point where you can’t see Lauren.”
“Can’t see Lauren.” He stormed up to Thane. “Every fucking day I see her. I’m out here busting my ass, and I have to fight not to think about her. I look at you and Celine, and all I can think about is all four of us at the cabin.” Shame washed over him. “I hate it, but a part of me wishes we would have never been on that road with Jenny. That someone else would have saved her so I could have had more time to convince Lauren to—” His vision blurred. He couldn’t say it. It was wrong. He couldn’t force her to love him.
“You wouldn’t have had to convince her.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, it’s not bullshit.” Thane grabbed his shoulder. “Before you lost your shit that night, Lauren had just told Celine about how she was willing to make the long haul. She was going to tell you that she’d wait for you to come back to her.”
A sick feeling washed over him. The way he’d gone after her. The way she’d looked at him. He shouldn’t have lost it that night, but all he could think about was what Dalir had told him about Kell. When he’d found her in the maze, he hadn’t seen that she was safe. He’d remembered how he’d left her alone in the chapel that day. He hadn’t protected her. If he failed again and lost her…. But he didn’t need Kell or any other threat to make that a reality. He’d done it all by himself. “She’s gone because I screwed up.”
“Yeah, but lucky for your sorry ass, Dalir can restore memories.”
Hope flickered, but Reid was afraid to latch onto it. “Including the ones of me being an asshole. That’ll make her come rushing back to me.”
“If you promise not to screw up again, I’m sure I can convince Celine to help you out.” Thane grinned. “After she dumps more coffee on your lap for being stupid.”
If it gave him another shot, he’d suck it up and take the pain. First, he had to convince Lauren to listen.
Chapter 20
“Sorry I can’t hang out with you this weekend.” Lauren shut the door to her Mercedes, juggling the cell with Ari on speaker and her purse. “But Jan says this guy is willing to pay full asking price for the cabin. Meeting me was his only stipulation.”
“No worries. I doubt I’ll be doing much. Last night I went to The Song to hear this new band called One Way.” Ari snorted a laugh. “They should call themselves One Way to Snoozeville. I don’t know what’s going on with that place. Something is off.”
“Are you sure it’s not you missing our girls’ nights with Celine?”
“Yeah, that could be part of it. She sent me an email the other day. She’s in Bali or was it Tibet? Anyway, she’s still on her adventure of looking for exotic things to sell at the store.”
Celine leaving Diva Unique behind still blew their minds. That place was her baby. But then again, she had nothing to worry about with Ari taking charge in her absence.
Lauren opened the door to th
e cabin. An odd mix of emotions swept over her, mainly sadness. “I’ll probably spend the night and head back in the morning. I’ll phone you before I leave.”
“You sound funny. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “It’s just a little dusty in here.”
Thankfully, Ari hung up and didn’t call her out. Her emotions remained in turmoil.
Three weeks ago, she’d awakened on the couch at the cabin feeling as if her heart had been crushed. She couldn’t figure out why. As she’d sorted through her father’s things, for some reason she’d thought of the fall watercolor he’d painted. She searched everywhere, but couldn’t find it. Something inside of her had snapped. She’d started bawling and couldn’t stop.
The child within her that blamed her father for the divorce. The teen that had missed him and craved his attention. The daughter that wished she’d had more time with him. She’d wept for them. Grieved with them. Comforted them. Then a new understanding had dawned with a quiet, reassuring voice in her mind. Her father made a commitment to the army to serve a greater good, not to abandon his family. He’d loved her, reached out to her. She had a choice in how to remember him. She’d realized the answers weren’t in boxes but in her heart. She’d decided to cherish the love and all the good memories she had of her father.
But even though she’d thought she’d made peace with the past, a sense of despair still remained. It left her off kilter. At work or during everyday tasks her mind kept wandering back to the cabin. She still hadn’t figured out why. Coming back definitely hadn’t been on the agenda, but then Jan had called about the buyer. Maybe selling the cabin was the final step to moving on.
A pang of sadness brought a thought, illusive and quick. It swept in and slipped away. That was happening a lot lately.
Coffee. That would energize her. She retrieved the packs of instant along with packets of creamer and sugar from her purse. She’d traveled light this time around. An overnight bag, nothing to prepare or cook. Hotels and restaurants all the way this trip.
She found a mug in the cabinet. The kitchen ended up getting the short end when it came to packing. Wanting to leave, she’d left the basics behind. The Realtor could probably pack them up if the new owner didn’t want them.