Simple holes left the balls of my shoulders bare with a thin strip of material resting at the curve where my shoulders met my neck. The neckline cut across my chest in a wide curve, drawing attention to my collar bone, but it was the back that was most dramatic. A rectangle cut out left me exposed from the tip of my shoulder blades to my tailbone.
I would have never worn anything this feminine out of fear of drawing attention, but now I regretted that Niko never saw me like this. It would have made a beautiful pairing gown. It was a shame, the most dressed up I had ever gotten was for my funeral.
I took a final breath as a free woman and turned back to Griff. I touched his arm and he turned.
“Oh,” Griff puffed out.
It was such a small word but it held more emotion than I could handle: surprise, pleasure, then sadness. His lips remained frozen in the shape of the word.
“I think I am going to be sick.” There was nothing to hold onto for support as the room swayed. Griff set a large hand on my shoulder to steady me.
“Just look at me, watch my eyes. It will be okay,” he said, trying to regain his composure.
I looked up at him in surprise. “It will definitely not be okay. I am not even sure I will exist once they put that thing in me.” I motioned with my chin toward the door to the room where my Luna was waiting.
“Do not fight, Reka. It will be better for everyone.”
“Not better for me,” I said, releasing the fists I had made of my hands and smoothing out my dress so he could not see the traitorous moisture stinging my eyes.
“I know, and I am sorry.” He turned and walked toward the door. I followed, scared to go, but more afraid to be left alone.
~o~
The Luna was sitting on one of the beds when we returned.
There were rumors that each Haloran’s consciousness was contained inside a worm. That was how they were able to transfer from one host body to the next. My stomach wriggled as I tried to imagine her allowing someone to put a worm inside her.
“I was beginning to believe a search party would be necessary,” she said, without glancing up.
“That would never be required while I am alive, my lady,” Griff responded with a bow.
“I am glad I will not have to execute my favorite guard.”
Her tone sounded light, but the look on her face suggested it had been a danger. I worried I had cast a shadow on him.
“You are as kind as you are beautiful, my lady.”
She rolled her eyes and made a sound of disgust.
In spite of my fear, I felt my skin prickle with anger. The idea of having a worm inside me was less repulsive than the thought of her taking over my body, making it her own. How many people would she mistreat while wearing my face? I could accept the worm if it did not bring her with it.
Griff bowed again and took a step forward placing a hand on my bare back to lead me to my table.
The cushions were removed now, leaving a cold metal table with a rectangular hole in the top half. I could see men below dressed all in white. One looked up and caught my eye. A shiver ran up my spine. In his hands were two hooks sharpened to deadly points.
I closed my eyes and tried to breathe slowly, but it only allowed my mind to dream up scenarios for the use of such instruments. My knees gave way and again I was caught by Griff. He lifted me and gently placed me on the metal table with my back over the hole.
The cutout in the dress was not merely for decorative purposes. It was designed for beauty and function through centuries of our horror.
The Sari’s gait was nearly a dance as he made his way toward me.
“Sir, allow me to secure her,” Griff said.
“I can handle her.” He smiled a wicked smile.
Good. I wanted him to bleed and I would get the chance to make it happen.
“Sir, at least her arms?”
The Sari breathed a heavy sigh. “Fine, her hands.”
Griff knelt over me pulling the straps free that would hold my hands. He looked deep into my eyes and he seemed to be pleading. It was too tender a look for such a heavy thing he was silently asking of me. He wanted me to go down without a fight.
The Sari brushed Griff aside. He leaned over me, running his hands across my stomach as he reached for a strap. I had to give him credit. I was feeling no fear now.
He was not fast enough as I brought my legs up wrapping them like snakes around his neck. He stared at me with oddly calm eyes just before I slammed his head down, hard. The impact vibrated through the table.
Griff was on me immediately, knocking the air from my lungs, but my grip held. Griff pried my legs free and the Sari dropped to his butt on the floor, gasping. The Luna, who was fully strapped down, looked on in horror.
“I think I ripped your pretty dress.” Her eyes flicked from me to the Sari, but she appeared too stunned to speak.
The Sari laughed which made my blood boil.
“I like this one. She is feisty. Pity we could not keep her as a pet.” He wiped the blood from his lips and got to his feet. “Maybe you should finish, Griff.”
“Yes, sir.”
Griff was leaning over me, quickly blocking my view of the Sari.
“You have not done yourself any favors in this.”
His sad eyes made me feel weak, and my chest began to ache where he came down on me. I could feel the places his hands had been to free the Sari. At least it would not be me to suffer those aches once the anger wore off.
He cinched the last straps across my feet and stepped back, but remained close enough for me to see his eyes.
“I am going to enjoy this one,” the Sari said as he stroked my bare shoulder.
“Enough theatrics! I would like the chance to enjoy her. Let us get started before you make her do something we will all regret.”
“Yes, my love. You are right, as always.” His tone was docile, placating.
She closed her eyes and laid her head back as if she were relaxing. She was not relaxed though. Every muscle in her body was tensed which frightened me more than anything I had seen yet. She sucked in a shallow tight breath, then another. Her eyes flew open, staring straight up, but it did not look like she was actually seeing the world around her.
She remained like that for a moment then her body began to twitch. The scream that followed was so frightening, I felt it in my bones. Each scream that followed was worse. They were the type of screams that no matter how long you lived, you would never forget. The kind that would wake you in the night, wishing you could scrub your mind just to free the images they brought.
Her body arched and writhed in spite of her restraints.
“Hold her!” a voice issued from below. Griff responded immediately, pressing her flat to the table and looking in her unseeing eyes. His charms did not work on her. Even under his weight, she continued to thrash.
Suddenly she was still. Griff lifted off of her and watched tentatively. She turned her head toward me and looked into my eyes. A small, sad smile graced her tortured face making her beautiful in a way I had never seen her as before. Her body relaxed and she went limp.
Griff leaned down and brushed his fingers over her eyes, closing them. It was such an intimate, tender act I had to look away. As I did, I could swear I heard him whisper, “You are free now.” I glanced back to see if I had imagined it, but he was already turning from her. He returned to my table and stood close to me. He did not cry, but his entire body seemed to mourn.
Chapter 3
The Sari walked over and kneeled close to my face. I could feel his breath against my ear. He stroked a hand over the strap that restrained my chest.
“I am going to enjoy this body.” His words carried like a sigh of pleasure.
I did not even have a chance to think before my teeth were sinking into his cheek. He screamed as he ripped free. The shock was still clear on his face when I felt the first hook puncture my skin.
It forced all the breath out of me in a rush. He came closer,
a look of cruel satisfaction spread across his face.
“Do you know my name?” he asked.
“I do not need to know your name, Sari. I know what you are, and that is all I need to know.”
The second hook pierced my skin and I had to grit my teeth to keep from showing how much pain it caused.
“The name is Jaxson. I wanted you to know the name of the one who condemned you. The one you will be cursing as I use you up.” His tone let on just how much my defiance angered him.
There was a sudden sensation like fire spreading up my back and I understood the screams of the Luna, but I would not give him the satisfaction. If I could no longer inflict pain on him, I would turn on the only one I could. The Luna was going to have this body, that I could not escape, but she would not get it in the same condition I had it in.
I raised my head up and smiled as both Griff and the Sari’s eyes opened wide with fear. They did not have time to move before I brought it down violently against the metal table. The sound from the impact echoed in tinny waves.
There was a thundering in my head then complete silence as Griff and the Sari ran toward me. The fear in the Sari’s eyes was enough to release me from consciousness, satisfied.
~o~
The lights were dim in the room and my head throbbed. I tried to turn my head and that is when I became aware of the restraints. My stunt caused them to apply a new one. Now, not only could I not move my arms or legs but my head was immobile.
There was a sudden sharp pain in my back and what felt like a pressure against my consciousness, trying to dim me. Instinctively, I tried to fight it, and my body responded to a perceived physical threat with a surge of strength.
“Is she still fighting you?” The Sari’s voice was in my ear as he knelt close, gently brushing a hand across my face.
“Yes!” My response was automatic, before I had a chance to process it fully.
“She is too strong. I think maybe we should select a new host, one more docile.”
“No! No. I can handle her. She is weakening, accepting her fate.”
Memories flooded back of all the other times I had awoken screaming and thrashing. Griff restraining me as the Sari, or a young girl administered a sedative. I did not want to go back to sleep again, especially knowing I might not wake up this time.
I lay there pulling in deep breathes to calm myself. The pain lessened slightly and I was able to relax my muscles some. This appeared to relieve the Sari.
He leaned over me, his hands on my shoulders in an awkward embrace. His look was tender. He was concerned. I did not want to see him as human, so I closed my eyes and remembered the monster he was. Besides, this look, these emotions, they were not meant for me. They were for the other person who lived inside me, the one who was supposed to be in control but somehow, was not. The Luna.
Hands caressed my face again.
“Soon, Anaya, you will be strong enough, and we will have a proper reunion.”
His tone made me feel nauseous. His hand was close enough, if I squirmed, I could bite it. Hearing him scream would help.
An image flashed in my head like a memory, though not my own. It was a pile of bodies, their backs all sliced open, all in different levels of decay. The eyes of one at the top caught my attention. They were moving, staring back at me.
I clamped my mouth shut to keep from screaming. What sin did I ever commit that was bad enough to deserve this hell?
~o~
“It has been nearly two weeks.” The Sari looked agitated as he spoke to Griff.
“You really riled the girl up before Anaya transferred. The girls are usually frightened. She was so angry, maybe that is why this time has been so hard on Anaya.”
They were speaking quietly, but not as quietly as they thought. The Sari looked over at me. For a long time he just watched, his eyes searching mine for something. He leaned closer to Griff and his voice dropped, but I could read his lips.
“I think she is ready.”
Griff shook his head slowly but the Sari did not see, his eyes were still fixed on me.
Three young girls entered wearing soft, white dresses similar to the one I had worn that first day. Their dresses were less dramatic but still elegant. None of them spoke a word, only listened to the Sari’s instructions then curtsied.
My stomach already felt like it was in my mouth. As they headed toward me, I felt like I would lose it.
Their hands worked fast, releasing me from my restraints. As the last one was released, I had to fight the nearly overwhelming urge to run. Their gentle hands helped me to my feet and held me steady. A good thing, since my feet wanted to act of their own accord.
I felt like a ghost floating through the hall with the pale purple walls like bruises, and the girls ushering me toward a hell worse than the one I had already suffered.
Griff walked beside us, continually eyeing me like he was expecting me to run. And maybe he was. I am sure I was doing a poor job of impersonating the Luna.
We stopped in the middle of the empty hallway and a girl placed her hand on the wall. There was a soft tinkling of bells and the wall stretched into a round opening.
“Give us a moment, ladies.”
All three girls curtsied to Griff and disappeared through the opening. It closed behind them leaving me alone in the hall with Griff. He looked into my eyes like the Sari had. Was he searching for something also?
He lifted his hands and cupped my cheeks. His touch was gentle, but his look was authoritative.
“Be careful.”
It was barely a whisper, but a chill ran up my spine causing every hair on my neck to stand on end. Before I could think to respond, he pressed the wall and it opened.
I glanced in to see all three girls waiting for me, expectant. Griff was already walking away as I turned back to him. I watched him till he was gone before I submitted to the girls.
In the washroom, one of the girls lifted my dress revealing a perfect, blemish free body. All my scars and imperfections were wiped clean. I nearly cried. Everything that proved I was Reka Cushing was gone.
There was one new mark, one that belonged to Anaya. I studied the circle shaped scar at the base of my spine, presumably where the worm was inserted. The girls watched me silently.
“Oh well. Nothing to be done about it, right?”
They all nodded a sad little nod, then circled me again and led me to a large bath.
If I was not being prepared for something so terrible, I might have been able to enjoy it. I had never seen a bath so big and luxurious. Even the girls’ presence calmed me. Everything about them was mild, from their long, almost white-blonde hair and cream colored skin to the way they spoke with a gentle lilt, like a lullaby. I almost did not mind them washing me. Almost. After they dried me and braided my long hair, they led me back to the bedroom.
There was another white dress laid across the bed. Of course they would have an outfit designed for this ritual also. There was no way to escape what was coming.
Chapter 4
I had hoped the numbness that accompanied the girls dressing and preparing me would stay. Maybe then I would be able to survive, but as I sat alone with my thoughts, the panic returned with a vengeance.
How could I possibly have thought I would be able to handle what lay before me? The Sari alone made all my muscles tight. The thought of allowing him to touch me made me feel like I was going to come through my skin.
Just then I heard the tinkling of bells. Griff’s voice was audible as the wall gave way. His voice dropped as he continued to speak to the Sari. I could not hear what he was saying, but it sounded like he was pleading.
The Sari’s back was to me. He shook his head in response to Griff’s expectant look. I felt a jolt of fear. Scanning the room, I spotted a hair comb the girls left out on the bureau. It was made of mother of pearl with pointy spikes to hold it in your hair, the kind that might pierce human skin.
I tried to keep the violence off my face as the Sa
ri turned toward me. The images my thoughts inspired forced a smile and the Sari responded with a genuine, happy smile of his own. I almost felt sad for him, but my decision was set. I could not endure his touch.
An image flashed in my mind, one of my mother and sister in the stands watching me with fear. It was not an angle I had viewed them from. I then understood what Griff meant when he told me it would be better for everyone if I did not fight. He was not talking about me or the Haloran’s. He was talking about those I loved.
A memory, this time my own, came to mind. One time there was a girl, Raeanne. Her body somehow rejected her Luna. Normally the family of a Chosen become like royalty. The opposite happened in this case. Her brother was made the Luna’s dog.
I will never forget the look on his face when they paraded him through the City. I could not condemn my family or Niko to such horror. I would accept the fate I was dealt.
I waited for the Luna to show me more, but there was nothing else from her. It was only this small glimpse and the previous memory of the bodies, that even let me know she was in there. Why was she doing this to me? Was it possible that I was actually in control?
Maybe she would take over eventually and this was my punishment for fighting. At this point, I had to consider it might have been a mercy to be a prisoner in the background. At least that way I would not have to pretend to make love to a monster.
“This body suits you, Anaya. You look radiant.”
The Sari’s voice startled me back into reality. If this was punishment, at least she was suffering some bruises also.
“You are too kind. She is strong, but that is only because she is new.”
“Well, let us enjoy her while she lasts.”
As his hands reached for me I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Niko’s hands, Niko’s lips, Niko’s skin, Niko’s body.
~o~
When the Sari woke and reached for me I pretended to still be asleep. I tried to be a stone. He did not notice. He pulled me into the curve of his body and kissed my neck while wrapping his arms around my belly.
“I think you like this body more than you are letting on. You have not been that passionate in a thousand years.”
Children of the Gods - A Chosen Novel Page 2