“What did I promise?” My voice sounded sharper than I meant it to. He rarely called me that, and I found hearing him use her name made me angry.
“You cannot go wandering about without Griff or I.”
“I only went to the garden.”
“Those people,” he motioned in the direction of the dining room, “you have not made their lives easy and they hate you for it. A few would like to see you bleed. I know you feel strong, but you are not ready to be wandering around unescorted yet.”
“You just said I am not as delicate as you thought,” I said, looking at my toes.
He stepped closer and lifted my chin with a finger. “What if something happened to you? You cannot think only of yourself. You have responsibilities,” he said with half a smile.
“No fair using my words against me. Besides, I am not the one limping.”
He kissed my nose and I scowled at him. He looked suddenly tired, like our argument took everything he had left. “I am going to bathe.”
I lay in bed trying to fall asleep while he bathed. When I heard him approaching I closed my eyes.
“I know you are not sleeping,” he said, sliding up next to me. “You are holding your breath.” He kissed my neck softly.
“Are you still hurting?” I asked.
“Not now that I am close to you.”
I knew he was lying from the set of his muscles.
~o~
I could feel that he was awake, though he did not move. I did not understand why he was not doing his normal routine of reaching for me, then holding me close for a few minutes before rising. Then I realized I had not moved away from him in the night.
Learning my lesson from that night, I concentrated on keeping my breathing slow and steady. He nuzzled my hair and neck, pulling in a deep breath, then gingerly pulled his arm from beneath me.
I opened my eyes a fraction and watched as he dressed slowly, clearly still hurting. There was still no response from Anaya regarding the growing concern I felt for him.
I closed my eyes as he turned back toward me. He must have stood there for five minutes. Watching me?
Finally I could hear him move toward the wall. I chanced a peek and watched as he knelt down and pressed a hand to the wall lower than normal. There were no bells.
“Griff, I am leaving now. Could you come keep an eye on her?”
I gritted my teeth.
“How are you feeling?” I almost gasped when I heard Griff’s voice as if he were in the room with us.
“Still a bit groggy.”
“Jax, you should not be out wandering around in your condition. I can take care of things today.” The concern in Griff’s voice surprised me.
“I will be alright. Besides, she needs her space.”
“She needs you safe more than she needs space.”
“If it will make you feel better, I will take Orson with me.”
“Take Alton instead, and promise me you will visit the Waters and stay clear of the garden.”
“Did she like the flowers?” Jaxson asked, ignoring Griff’s request. His tone was different, it was softer.
“She loved them, but she thinks they are from me.”
“As long as they made her happy, I do not care who she thinks they are from.”
“She should know, Jax,” Griff pleaded.
“She may not like them if she knows the truth. Do not tell her, please.”
“I am on my way.” Griff’s voice had resigned frustration in it. I could imagine him shaking his head at Jaxson.
I closed my eyes as he turned and came towards me. Kneeling next to the bed he caressed my cheek. I blinked and looked up at him. He smiled.
“Good morning, Love.”
I could not help but smile because he did not call me by her name. “Morning.” I yawned and stretched.
“I have to go, but Griff will be here to escort you anywhere you would like to go.”
I narrowed my eyes and glared at him.
“It is for your protection. I cannot have anything happening to this.” He kissed my forehead. I touched his cheek as he pulled back to look at me. “How are you feeling?” I asked.
“I feel amazing. Being with you makes everything better.”
“You are a terrible liar.”
My sense of compassion wrestled with the side of me that wanted nothing more than to see him disappear through the wall. How could I let him though, after what I just witnessed of his character.
I did not like feeling I was the cruel one.
The wall chimed announcing Griff. As it opened completely and Jaxson turned to leave, I grabbed his hand.
“Stay.”
Chapter 8
The wall whined, indicating it was locked. Jaxson pulled on his animal skin pants and walked carefully to the wall. He situated himself so he was standing casually, then pressed a hand to open the wall.
“Duester?” he said her name with surprise.
“Jaxson, what is the meaning of this? Sending a guard to complete your responsibilities!” She made a sound of disgust.
My blood was boiling instantly. I did not even think. I grabbed the sheets up around me and crossed to where Jaxson was standing.
“Jaxson, my love, that would not be my good friend, Duester, speaking so irreverently to you, would it?”
Reaching under his arms, I pressed my palms to his bare chest and rested my head against his shoulder so I could look Duester in the eye.
“Anaya!” she gasped. “I meant no disrespect. I was concerned. Jaxson, here, has never missed a single day, not even on changing days. Now I see there was no need to worry. He is merely attending to the whims of his queen.” Her tone filled me with acid.
“Which is my number one priority,” Jaxson responded.
“I simply could not stand to share him today.” I reached out and touched her shoulder. “You of all people should understand the desire to be close to the one you love. It has not been so long since the human, Lennie, robbed you of that privilege.”
She made a sound like a hiss at the mention of Lennie’s name. Her cheeks glowed red.
“No it has not been so long. I understand your need perfectly, especially after such a long separation. Please, forgive the intrusion.”
She bowed deeply, and it appeared to take much effort as she backed away, still bent at the shoulders.
“You should not provoke her further. She would already love to see you fall,” Jaxson whispered as he pulled me near.
“I can handle her.”
“I see that.” He was smiling when he leaned in and kissed me, pulling my body tight against his. The desperation in his touch took my breath away.
“Sorry,” he whispered, loosening his grip, his lips brushed mine as he spoke.
I looked into his concerned eyes. “Whatever for?”
“For being too rough. Lately, I am overcome by the need to be near you.”
“I am not so fragile as you imagine.”
He kissed me again. This time slower and gentle.
“We should eat,” he said, drawing back.
“If we must.” I shrugged, but really I was grateful. I was feeling ravenous. He smiled and went to the bureau. He returned with a soft pink slip dress which he helped me into.
As we entered the dining hall I wrapped my arm around his waist and slipped my hand just inside the waist of his pants. He gave a start, but did not look at me or pull away. I did notice the corner of his mouth turn up slightly and he walked a little taller which helped to keep my focus on him rather than those who looked on with wide eyes.
Katy appeared the moment we sat down. She looked from me to Jaxson then quickly set waters in front of us trying not to show her surprise, unsuccessfully.
“Do you know what you will be having, my lady?” She bowed and turned to Jaxson. “Sir?” A blush spread across her cheeks.
“Relax, Katy. He does not bite.”
She turned a darker shade of red. “I am sorry. I have only ever s
een you during morning rounds. I was not expecting you. My apologies.”
He smiled. “Do not trouble yourself, dear.” He turned to me. “What will you have, Love?”
“Is Marcel working, Katy?”
She nodded a quick jerky nod, still nervous but eager to please.
“I know it is no longer breakfast, but if he could spare a moment to whip me up one of his egg delights?”
She nodded again then turned to Jaxson. “For you, Sir?”
“I will have the same.”
She bowed.
“Thank you, Katy,” he said as she retreated, and the blush returned.
I leaned in close. “I think someone fancies you.”
“What, that?” he asked. “No, I make them all nervous.”
“You are right, that must be it.” I smiled and he squeezed my hand.
“Does it bother you? I can have her replaced.” He was suddenly concerned.
“No, I think it is cute, actually.”
His expression softened. He smiled and kissed my hand.
We ate in silence, but he seemed to be enjoying his meal as much as I had the first time. His head bobbed ever so slightly from side to side as he chewed. My sister, Lizanne, always teased me about my display of pleasure when I ate. I tried to ignore the pull I felt upon seeing that he and I shared this quirk.
“How have I never had this before?” Jaxson asked, setting his fork aside.
“It is not on the menu.” I winked, and it was my turn to blush. I looked down, hoping the color would quickly fade.
“What would you like to do next?”
I looked up. “It is your first day off in a thousand years. What would you like to do?”
“Really? You will accompany me in whatever I choose?”
The shock on his face broke my heart. Anaya must really be horrible to him. Even with that thought she remained silent. Good, I was in no mood to hear her side, not with the way his eyes lit with excitement as I nodded.
Today was a free day. After giving me such a thoughtful gift, a gift he could not even claim credit for. I decided today was my gift to him. For today only, I would not hate him. I would be everything he wanted, lover, confidant, but mostly the one thing I was beginning to see he wanted more than all the others. I would be his friend.
“Will you swim with me?” His face was that of a child; expectant, hopeful, yet unsure.
“I have just agreed to anything you desire and swimming is what you choose?”
He nodded sadly, taking my question for my answer.
“Of course I will swim with you.”
His face brightened as if it was lit by the sun. He grabbed my hand and nearly skipped from the dining room, the hitch in his stride was gone.
He disappeared through the wall and I followed. When I stepped out on the other side he was already in the pond. He turned and watched me wade out into the perfectly calm water.
I noticed with no small amount of amazement that the oils from my skin ballooned out around me creating a pearly halo.
As I approached him, I became aware of his darker, glittering halo. It was beautiful like the surface of the water had captured hundreds of tiny rainbows.
The moment our halos touched, I felt odd like I had too much ale, though I had none. As I got closer, the fogginess lifted and was replaced with the strongest sense of belonging I ever felt. He kissed me gently then swam away, taking the feeling with him.
The emptiness was overwhelming.
When I realized I could still breathe, I chased after him. He stayed just out of reach, giving me momentary tastes of the feelings again. I kicked a little harder and grabbed his foot, pulling myself up till I could wrap my arms around his back.
I latched on with my arms and legs and held on, piggy backing while he swam. Even when he dove under I held my breath and kept my grip. He surfaced and finally stopped swimming.
“Are you planning to let go at some point today?” he asked over his shoulder, trying to see me.
“Possibly, no,” I responded and cinched my arms tighter.
“If I promise not to swim away?”
“I do not know if I can trust you.” I pinched his side and he laughed. I almost let go, it was so genuine and happy. Not a sound I had heard him truly make before.
“Is there a reason we are not here every day?” I whispered, pressing my lips close to his ear. He pried my hands free and pulled me around into his arms.
“Because you forbid it.” His eyes were again expectant, eager even.
“I think you must have misunderstood me. I believe I forbid a day from ever passing without a swim together.”
His eyes were laughing though his mouth was only smiling. Then he kissed me.
~o~
There was a small gathering waiting outside the frosted glass when we finally exited.
“Anaya!” Finale’s shocked expression reinforced my sympathy for Jaxson.
“We apologize for monopolizing the pond, time got away from us,” Jaxson announced, dismissively flicking his wrist. No one said anything.
“Please excuse us,” I said, grabbing Jaxson’s hand and pulling him away from the crowd. As soon as we were around the corner, we giggled like children.
“What would you like to do next?” he asked.
“That does not matter. Another day it will be my day, but today is your day, Jaxson. You get to choose everything.”
“What if I choose for you to pick?”
“That is cheating and not allowed.”
He smiled then, his expression turned serious and he pulled me close. He brushed a finger across my eyebrow then touched the tip of my nose.
“I wish everyone could see you as I do. You have made more than just me happy here today,” he said, without looking me in the eyes. I squeezed his arm, though I was unsure of what he meant.
There was a sudden intensity to his face as he looked up and locked eyes with me. At first I did not recognize the expression. It was another first with him. It looked like defiance.
“I know you can feel the effects of the Living Waters already, I can see it. We have been deprived of the benefits for too long, but you know it was not only us you forbid to swim together, Anaya.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Anaya was no longer silent. She was livid. Her show of emotion almost physically hurt. Jaxson looked away, the defiance gone from his features. I was not going to let her spoil his day. If he wanted to restore the right to swim together to everyone, I was going to give him that.
There were flashes of memories showing the ugliness and unkindness of the other Halorans but this was not for them. It was for Jaxson. She would not change my mind.
Besides, he was right. I could feel the effects. I felt stronger, more alive than I ever had. But it was the experience of being in the Waters with him that would be hard to live without. I could understand why they would be angry with her for robbing them of that experience.
I caressed his cheek, coaxing him to look at me. “We will fix this error in judgment tonight at dinner.”
His eyes brightened and he grabbed me and hugged me tight. “I love you,” he whispered in my ear, then squeezed me tighter.
I know I was supposed to do and be everything he wanted but I was not prepared for ‘I love you’ and I could not say it back, not even when I told myself it was only pretend. He did not seem to expect it which made me wish I could pretend, but saying it and not meaning it seemed more unkind than not to say it at all.
“Where to next?” is what I came out instead.
He touched the wall and it opened to our room.
“I know you have agreed to anything, but what I would like the most, is just to be near you.”
I followed him into the room. This was something I could pretend to be for him. He started towards the bed but stopped as I moved to follow.
“Stay there,” he said, holding up a hand.
I stopped and watched. He walked to the end of the bed, then scooted along the thi
n strip between the bed and the wall till he stopped in front of the far wall. He pressed the surface high above his head.
The chimes that followed were beautiful, almost like a song. Instead of opening into a circle, the wall slid up into itself making it appear almost like a traditional door, revealing a dark room.
“I had this installed for you shortly after we left home. I never showed you because you were so clear you wanted nothing to do with the old ways and no reminders of home. You have given me so much today, I do not want to push you, but I have always wanted to share this with you.”
He was silent as he studied my face, surely waiting for a reaction.
Swimming was a beautiful surprise, but there now was an ache in me to feel that closeness, the sense of belonging that had never been there before. I could see he was trying to draw me closer to him by sharing these experiences. I was leery of what he had to show me now. I was concerned mostly because it was working.
Anaya was prickling at his request and that sealed it for me.
“It is your day. I will do whatever you ask of me.”
I held my hand out to him. He shook his head. “I do not want you to do this because I ask. I want this to be your choice.”
His words gave me pause. Was this something so significant it would alter me? Make him a drug to me? Like the pond, only permanently?
I closed my eyes to shut out the uncertain look on his face. It was hard to know what I wanted with him staring at me, and Anaya raging inside.
The memory began playing immediately.
“There is no reason for us to leave, Anaya. This is our home,” Jaxson pleaded. “They will accept you no matter what you look like.”
“No, we must leave. I cannot stay here anymore. Your people have never accepted me. Now they never will. Not now, not after what you have done. This is no longer my home.”
She was as severe with him as she was with me. I did not know what he had done but it appeared to be her way or no way, though I think she meant me to see him as the unreasonable one.
The musical chimes sounded again. I opened my eyes to see him turning away from the closing wall.
“What are you doing?”
“It is clear you are not ready. I should not have pushed you.”
“You are wrong. Please, I want to.”
Children of the Gods - A Chosen Novel Page 5