I took the gamble of my life. I hurled my knife at the creature. I had never been good at throwing, either, but what else was there?
The knife whistled straight and true. It plunged right into the opened wolf mouth and stuck in the throat beyond. I was amazed. How could I have performed such a feat? I was neither a knife fighter nor a thrower. I had made my effort from unwitting desperation. Then I remembered my dunking in the healing spring. I was super healthy now; my body worked perfectly, as it never had before. It did exactly what I wanted it to—and I had wanted it to throw that knife hard and fast into the wolf mouth, striking with the point. I had underestimated my physical capacity.
The spider gave a whine of agony and collapsed.
The others turned to look. They saw their packmate dropping dead.
The basilisk's tiny grim head swung toward the spiders.
They spooked. They almost scrambled over each other in their eagerness to flee. They ran for the thicket wall and jammed into a niche in it.
We followed. There was a twisted passage amidst the thicket, partly between tree trunks and partly between stray stones, that led through to the other side. This was how the wolf spiders had gotten in, bypassing the thorns and the magic door. Once inside, they had made of the protected refuge a hunting ground.
We gathered stray branches and pulled thorny vines into the aperture. We made it tight again, so that no creature could get through. Of course it would be possible for the wolf spiders to clear it out again, but I doubted that they would, because they believed that this was now the hunting ground of a basilisk. The pack would surely hunt elsewhere in the future.
I went to the fallen spider and reached into its terrible mouth and pulled out my gory knife. I wiped it as clean as I could on the ground. Then we went to the door and used the key to exit, one at a time.
"I think you are a pretty brave mortal," Dana said to me. "That was an excellent shot with the knife and exactly what I needed to foster the illusion."
"I think you do have a soul," I replied. "If the key didn't prove it, the way you defended us did. An ordinary demon would have laughed and let the wolf spiders tear us apart."
"True. But I wasn't thinking about the proof of my soul at the time."
"Neither was I."
We smiled at each other. Then MareAnn summoned the winged horses, and we took off for Mount Parnassus.
We proceeded with the survey. Dana didn't even have to assume my form; she merely used the one she was comfortable with, which was an ethereally beautiful young woman, and interviewed the Maenads while we waited at the village. We would not have been able to fly to the Maenads anyway; it turned out that the oracle was as close to the mountain as we could go by air, because the Simurgh, the huge ancient bird who guarded the mountain and especially the great Tree of Seeds, did not permit other flyers there.
The Maenads had only one talent: vicious beauty. That did seem to make sense.
We surveyed the others in the region, and went on. In the following weeks Dana was increasingly helpful, both as interviewer and as guard; things we had feared before were no longer a threat, because it seemed that we had a dragon guarding us. Or worse.
In due course we returned to the South Village, and I made my first substantial report to King Ebnez. "So while there is much of interest in this region of southern Xanth," I concluded, "as yet I have found no Magician-caliber talents."
He nodded gravely. "There is much of Xanth remaining. Write up your report and save it, for the information will surely be useful in the future. Keep doing the survey until all of Xanth has been recorded. You are doing excellent work.”
"Thank you, Your Majesty. There is one other thing."
"By all means. You wish riches or power?"
"No, nothing like that! I am getting the only thing I truly crave, which is information. I do have to share it with the oracle, but that turns out to be simple enough, though their Answer was useless to me. No, I have a plea to make for another person, which I fear you will not receive well."
"I will make the effort," he said with a gentle smile.
"A demoness is helping us. She has facilitated my effort greatly, and she saved my life at one point. She has a soul and wishes to be rid of it so that she can revert to the normal nature of her kind. But to do that, she must marry you."
Ebnez had been listening patiently and tolerantly, but at this point his jaw went slack. He coughed. After a moment he recovered himself. "I am afraid that is out of the question. Not only am I disinclined to marry this late in life, there is a proscription against the association of demons with kings, dating from—"
"I told her that, Your Majesty. But I promised to make her plea if she helped me, and she has helped me. She really seems to be a very nice creature."
"Perhaps some day there will be a King who has the confidence to vacate the proscription. It is within the kingly authority. But I am not that one."
"I shall tell her," I said unsurprised.
"Hold," he said in his kingly fashion. "You say she is truly helping you in the survey?"
"Yes. I fear I could not complete it without her."
"And if she receives an absolute refusal, she will have no reason to continue the work?”
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Then it would not be expedient to turn her down absolutely. I will lift the proscription to the extent of allowing her to appear in my presence, but I will not marry her. Tell her only that I am considering the matter."
"But is that honest, Your Majesty? I mean, if you have no intent—"
"Perhaps she will change my mind. We can not be certain what the future holds."
I realized that this was a good compromise. The King had no intention of marrying Dana now, but perhaps next year he would see it another way. Dana was certainly winsome enough and had a nice personality. "Thank you," I said. "I shall tell her." I had learned another lesson about diplomacy and the ways of getting things done.
I told her. Dana was heartened, if that term could apply to a creature who had no heart. "This is more progress than I feared possible," she said. "I shall continue to help you, and perhaps I can meet the King when you next report to him. I know he has no interest in marrying a stranger."
So it was. We interviewed the fauns and nymphs, and the curse fiends of Lake Ogre-Chobee (I was later to forget about their existence, but that comes later in this narrative), and we penetrated the region of madness and interviewed the folk of the Magic Dust Village. We discovered a truly unusual creature there: a centaurpede, like a centaur but with a hundred pairs of legs. Her name was Margaret, and she was without price when the Dust Villagers had to travel somewhere; they could all ride a single steed. The winged horses were a great help, and the unicorns, and sometimes the sea horses of the ocean, and I loved and needed Mare Ann both for the survey and as a man. But of course she valued her innocence, and I understood about that.
But Dana was a great help also, and I liked her too, and she had no compunctions about innocence. "If it weren't for my conscience and the practical matter of unicorns, I would seduce you in a moment," she told me candidly. "I know all about the Adult Conspiracy and could initiate you into it in approximately ninety seconds. But as long as you love MareAnn and she loves you, I will not do it."
"Thank you," I said, somewhat awkwardly. I was getting really curious about the secrets that the adults guarded so rigorously, and such easy access to them was quite tempting. But not if it ruined my relationship with MareAnn.
Meanwhile, we made periodic reports to King Ebnez. I found many interesting things, but no Magician-caliber talents, to our mutual regret. Dana met the King, and was very polite to him, and he was increasingly nice to her. It was possible that he was slowly changing his mind about the prospect of marriage. It was said that a demoness could make a man deliriously happy, if she chose, and Dana was eager to do just that for him. But he worried about appearances and propriety and just what she would do if she succeeded in getting rid
of her soul, and remained cautious.
Three years went by, and I aged from late fifteen to early nineteen, and MareAnn did something similar. Dana did not change; demons are pretty much eternal. We tracked down the human folk living near the dragons, and near the centaurs of central Xanth, and near the five great Elements of northern Xanth. We also interviewed elves and goblins, for it turned out that they were of human derivation and had souls, and some did have individual magic talents. My notes were becoming voluminous, and also my collection of useful artifacts. My bottle of healing elixir was only the first of a multitude; I was filling a room with bottles, each containing something magical and moderately wonderful. Whenever King Ebnez needed an item or specialized bit of information, he asked me, and I was increasingly likely to have a vial of something that answered his need. Folk were calling me the Magician of Information, and both MareAnn and King Ebnez prevailed on me to hurt no feelings by disabusing them of this status.
We were in the final stage of the survey, going through the isthmus of northwestern Xanth, when we received a message: return to the South Village at once. Alarmed, we did so.
Our worst fear was realized: King Ebnez was dying.
Dana was stricken as much as we were, for she had made a significant impression on him, and it seemed likely that in another year or so he would relent and marry her and allow her to make him deliriously happy after all. That feet that his life was nearing its end didn't matter; it only meant that he had less to lose if he was not satisfied with her delirium. Now it seemed he had waited too long, and her long effort would be wasted.
He insisted on talking to me alone. He smiled when he saw me, and I tried to smile back, but the signs of his demise were on him, and dark vultures perched on the roof of his house. "Please, Your Majesty, let me give you some healing elixir," I urged him. "Then I can go fetch some water from the Fountain of Youth, which I discovered serendipitously in the course of my survey, and that will make you young again."
He shook his head feebly no. "You must not give the water of youth to any other person not of your immediate family," he said. "Use it for yourself only. It is not right to interfere with the natural process."
I had to promise. Of course it would be a long time before I had any need of such water myself, considering my excellent health, though I had hoped that MareAnn would take some when she got old. But the word of a King must be obeyed, and besides, he was probably making sense. I would not give either youth elixir or information about the location of the fountain to any person not of my family.
But worse was coming. "Have you found a Magician?"
"No. Not even any talent close to it. You are the only one in Xanth, I think, Your Majesty."
"Then a desperate measure is called for. I shall be dead within the hour, and Xanth must have a king. More particularly, it must have a king who will carry on the proper traditions of the role, and who will continue the good works I have tried to do. We have the potential to bring Xanth out of the Dark Age, if continuity is maintained."
"Yes, it must be maintained," I agreed. The survey was only one of this King's endeavors; he was trying to see that every human being had a reasonable livelihood and was secure from the depredations of trolls and dragons. He was causing enchanted paths to be made, along which folk could walk in peace without molestation. Already it was possible to travel north and south from the South Village a considerable distance safely, and houses were being made along these paths, so that folk could come in to trade in the village without fear. The King hoped that such a network would be extended throughout Xanth eventually, and I liked the idea too. "There is so much good to be done! So you must live to do it, Your Majesty, and just a few drops of elixir—"
"No!" he said, showing uncharacteristic anger. "No, my time is done. Since we have no Magician to assume the throne, we shall simply have to make one. As king, I am the final authority on who is and is not a Magician. In due course we shall have to set up a committee or council of elders for this purpose; that is one of the reforms you shall see to."
"I don't understand, Your Majesty." Indeed, I was perplexed and feared he was becoming incoherent.
"I hereby declare—" he said, and coughed again, worse than before, sounding really bad, "that you are the Magician of Information, and as such the only person qualified to assume the crown."
"But, Your Majesty!" I protested, stunned. "I am not—"
His rheumy eye fixed me with its fading glare. "Do you charge me with lying, Humfrey?"
"No, of course not! The King's word is law! But—"
"Then take the crown. Use it well, until you find another Magician to whom to pass it along."
"But—" I said helplessly.
"Take it!" he said. His withered hand clutched mine. "Promise!"
I was stuck for it. His glare would not let me go. "I promise," I whispered.
Only then did his eyes close and his grip relax. He was dead.
Chapter 6
King
I emerged from the death chamber carrying the crown in my hands. MareAnn and Dana and the King's attendants stared.
"The King is dead," I said. "I am the new King."
"The Magician of Information. Of course!" an attendant said. "He was grooming you for it throughout."
I looked miserably at MareAnn and Dana. They knew the truth. They could spare me this awful thing by speaking out.
But both bowed their heads. "Your Majesty," MareAnn said. Dana did not disagree. I was indeed stuck for it.
The burial arrangements were routine. In a day good King Ebnez was buried, and his house was mine. But my travail had only begun.
MareAnn approached me. "You must marry," she said. "It is a requirement for kings."
"That is true," I agreed. "And I want to many you."
There were tears in her eyes. "King Humfrey, I can not. I love you, but I love my innocence more. I must depart, to free you to marry another.”
"No!" I cried. "I need you!"
"You need my talent with equines," she said, with much accuracy. "But if you will marry another quickly, then I will stay and serve you."
I realized that to keep her near me, I would have to do as she said. "But who else can I marry?" I asked plaintively.
"Ahem." I looked. It was Dana Demoness.
Suddenly the meaning of the oracle's message came clear. "You have to marry a king! And I had to make a demon conquest. Why did you help me so loyally, Dana?"
"Because I love you, Humfrey," she said. "You did indeed make a conquest of me."
"But you had no idea I would become king! You had nothing to gain by loving me."
"Indeed I did not," she agreed. "And my conscience prevented me from making my sentiment known to you, because I would not want to disrupt your relationship with MareAnn. So I focused on King Ebnez, and I would have married him had he wished and made him deliriously happy, but my true love was always yours. So I had more patience with his slow progress than otherwise, because it gave me a pretext to continue working closely with you."
I had never suspected. MareAnn had been the only woman on my mind; my heart was numb with the shock of her refusal to marry me. I had really appreciated Dana's help, and perhaps had not questioned her-motive because I did not want to disrupt the arrangement. I had willfully blinded myself to the obvious, and that, I realized, was dangerous. I would have to guard against that in the future, especially now that I was king.
“I suppose your soul enables you to love, as normal demons can not," I said, continuing to work it out. I was also postponing the question of marriage to a demoness, for the moment.
"Yes, friendship and love became possible for me," she agreed. "And I must say, they have their compensations. I was frankly bored much of the time before I got the soul, and sad after I had it, but loving you has made me happy."
I still found this hard to accept. I was of small stature and not handsome, despite my excellent health. I had helped MareAnn when she was injured, and I understood
about her need to preserve her innocence, so the love between us seemed natural. But the demoness was a creature as spectacular as she chose to be, capable of impressing even a king. Why should she care about me? "When did—I mean, there must have been some event which—"
"When we worked together to fight the wolf spiders," she said. "We performed so well jointly! You understood how to do it, being very intelligent, and helped me to choose the right form, and then you supported me to make it effective, showing your courage. I felt really good about that, and it was wonderful, because I had never felt either good or bad before. Then at the end you said you thought I did have a soul, though we had both forgotten about that in the heat of the battle, and we smiled at each other. I never smiled at a man without ulterior reason before, or had one smile at me who wasn't looking at my body. We had true understanding and camaraderie, and it was such a thrill, and after that I had a similar thrill whenever I was near you. Maybe that's not love; I haven't had enough experience to know."
She was in her fashion innocent. She was old in the ways of the world, but young in the ways of love. That reassured me. I did need a wife. "Very well. I will marry you." I was as yet not completely certain that this was wise, remaining cognizant of the business about kings and demonesses, but she had certainly done her part and seemed worthy.
"Oh, thank you, Humfrey!" she exclaimed, delighted. "Is it all right for me to kiss you now?"
"Go ahead," MareAnn said, without complete grace. She had told me to marry someone else, but evidently retained feeling for me. That gratified me in a shameful way. "You're betrothed now."
Dana approached me and put her arms around me. She was taller than I was, but so was MareAnn. She brought her face down and put her lips to mine and kissed me. It was quite an experience! I had kissed MareAnn and really liked it, but I realized now that our kisses had been properly innocent. Dana's kiss was improperly experienced. Love might be new to her, but the ways of physical expression were highly familiar. I discovered that not only did she have remarkably soft and pliable lips, she had a tongue, and I had never imagined using a tongue that way. Meanwhile her body was pressing close to me, and her—her front was making my front tingle. I was beginning to get a hint of the kind of delight she was capable of giving a king. My doubt was fading.
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